We're here.. At 06:55 once again..
I like the way that my heart wakes up my mind, just to send you such a.. sappy good morning text
And life.. You say its a beautiful thing
And I think I'd almost believe you if
I didn't have this fear of being so,
Intimate..

But you, how are you so **** lovely?
Sometimes the world can be ugly
With all the unnecessary hurt and all the wars
But you... You make me feel way less lonely...
You turn my love into poetry
And thats why i just write so much..
You make me feel so much for someone who.. can't even be yours

Well look dear, i hope our friendship will last then..
And if it all hurts me too much i'll just play my guitar and then..
Write a song to say,
"hey, you're still so ******* cool"..

And we'll both be on different paths ready to travel the world
Well i'd hope i still cross paths with yours maybe someday when i'm more stable to, love and hug you..
Oh, you beautiful girl.

Oh and I, I like making you cry on the tube,
Won't you tell what you like to do,
And list what you like about yourself too cause..
I'd probably like all of those reasons too

And if you say that your hearts keeping you awake at night then know that mine would be too..
I just wanna talk to you..
Cause i like the way the universe sighs when it sees me being hopelessly romantic again
Oh i can't help it, i like it; what my cracked phone screen looks like, when your name lights up and... colours it in.

Good morning i love you and i hope today you have the best of everything

She liked a poem I wrote,
From some months ago..
She said she's all about the imagery and metaphors so;
I drank some magic potion..
'bottled a drop from the ocean,
Then spent a night studying the stars
After tearing the moon's heart open

She's just one of those girls,
Who aren't like most other girls..
She said the best people are born in October
I think she's the best person in the world.
Man I wish I went with her,
To that concert last year,
She said her favourite tracks
Are 'follow you' & 'avalanche'
Man i wish she was here

Oh she talks so pretty
I could listen all day
And she talks so smart
I miss the things she would say
She talks so pretty
But she doesn't like her voice recorded
She said she used to skate at night when the rest of the city were snoring

She's like 5 foot something
And shes a 12 out of 10,
And on the 12th of the 10th,
She said happy birthday at 1am,

Well she talks so pretty
And what a beautiful name
What a beautiful soul,
And what a wonderful friend she made,

To me.

*i miss her

Night kisses on the roof,
We're drinking up the view
Please fill my glass with a million more stars..
So I can find the courage to spill out the truth..

Long ago I was in love,
Well that's what I thought it was..
5 years is a long time to know a person,
And 5 words was all it took to break that off

So, "how did it all fall apart?" You ask.. And, "Was the fall worth the hurt?"
I'd give 3/4 of my heart for, just a quarter of hers..

But that was a very long time ago,
So let's move this along..

My first year at college ******,
I never thought I'd amount to much
11 months is a long time to care for someone,
Even when those last few months,
We fell out of touch..
But with this girl I felt so safe..
Brown hair green eyes cute face
I said goodbye 2 nights after my 18th birthday,
.. I thought this time my heart deserved a different kind of break

"... So how did it all fall apart?" You ask, "do you still care/ love her?"
I'd give 3/4 of my heart for, just 1/4 of hers..

But i'm not on the rooftop with her, right now..
Oh i'm with you,
And this is where we are..
Singing the blues..

When that sun rises over you
Won't you tell me your stories too?
I'll give both halves of my heart if..
You give me all yours too.

Don't press pause on real life..
Cause in just a blink of an eye..
Everything changes,
In front of you.
It's so wonderful.

And don't spend your days angry
Just spend a moment sulking :')
Cause every-thing right now is temporary..
..I'll too, just be a memory.

So won't you live a little,
And remember me?
Bump into me 5 years later,
With a different hair colour;
Oh go out there, and live your dream
Send me messages now and then,
And i'll get a pen and some paper
Oh won't you live life, cause there will never be another..
At least not one like this,
Oh you are beautiful I must,
Admit.

Clocks are turning,
Earth spins..
My mind wakes up to the thought
Of "are you okay?"
.. Almost everyday.

But next year I'll care for me too
I'm 18, hey, lets get a tattoo-
Of an Ed Sheeran song..
That'll be a memorable one,
For sure.

Oh won't you promise,
To stay so strong?
I know that sounds patronising
But in the poems i've been writing,
I've found strength in this place here between my lungs;
Yeah these words from the heart;
I hope they light up the dark,
For you
I promise I'll never fade.
I'll still be annoying as hell
And maybe sappy as well
And will I ever move on?
Only time can tell.
But for now darling just live
Oh everyday is beautiful,
I must admit.

You were beautiful from the moment you stood out and said 'hi'
And I was nothing but a truck load of sad October nights,
but then I met you and I wanted to move on, yet freeze time...

I loved the way that you listed all your favourite bands,
and helped me see a side of music that I didn't understand
Though Taylor Swift will never be on your most recently played,
I know you'd still keep an open mind

And my mind will always be grateful enough to rewind..

Back to the first week when I was still a mess,
a dreamer with no drive,
writing a book for no one to impress
but I wrote thinking things would someday be different,

And i was right..

Cause in those November nights,
those long and tiring bus rides
you were the checkpoint every time I almost died
and now we're in December,
and I don't know how long is left of this ride..

I'd never thought that you would slowly start hating yourself,
just because I always swore you knew yourself better than anyone else
but it turns out that you are just another puzzle to unlock, to solve..

and in the second week of November we just sat there in a shop and read,
and in the third week I remember, sitting in a coffee shop, writing with passion again
oh what a wonderful way to be of use, as my muse and best friend

But feelings change, as hearts over think..
And sometimes all it takes, is just a blink back to November..

Oh, those insightful talks, about the impact of long walks
i held onto your every word and thought
but that was in November,
and those meaningful hugs and that early morning rush..
you caught me busted, running from the bus'
and now I'm sentimental

Oh I know you'll find someone maybe in a month or two,
but I hope you'll always love me as much as i love you
'cause all I seem to remember last month
is that for all of November,
you were the reason why I couldn't give up

Keep Holding On,
'Cause you know we'll make it through
we'll make it through..
and Don't Stop Believin'..
'Cause you know I'm here for you,
I'm here for you..
so come on Raise Your Glass,
We're stronger from every scar,
brighter than any star..
we're the outcast!
and we're gonna make it through..
we'll make it through..

Anything could happen,
when you're standing in the hall of fame
So hold on to that feeling,
take that 'midnight train going anywhere'
You have more friends than you know,
so hey now, hey now..
Don't dream it's over
Everybody hurts, and everybody talks
but tonight we are young.
So hold on to that feeling,
and keep holding on..
(please) don't stop believing.

There are no demons really,
Just misguided angels,
I believe.

We are all angels really,
Even if we harm and we cry
Even if on most nights, we wish to die
There's nothing wrong with wanting to get to Heaven faster,
In order to guard someone else's life.

It is wrong however,
To believe that you are not good enough
To be one's ideal angel
For you cannot fly and you do not shine,

It is wrong to feel like you are unworthy
And could never help
Because I promise you someone who loves you,
Needs their angel tonight

I'm not brilliant, I'm just winging it'
'Cause life is a song with black and white notes,
So I'll write you my song without singing it

I'm not beautiful,
though I'm flattered you think that,
And though the feeling could be mutual,
I'm not sure I could say the same back..

It's not that I don't think you're beautiful..
I've never really called a guy that before?
But your poetry helps me get through it all,
and for that I know one thing for sure,

You're a risk taker,
not a ****
nor a heartbreaking piece of work

You're a poet finding his muse,
but unfortunately this muse is bad news

I'm a mess of a dreamer,
a heartbroken fool
and my mentality could drive you to the brink of insanity,
and though you say I can't drive you there 'cause you're pretty mad yourself,
Maybe we just need time to learn how to love ourselves..

Should I stay or should I go?
Test my wings or stay at home?

                                
                                            Explore the world I've always dreamed of'
                                             But lose myself in the midst of dreamers?


Opportunities, flying, here and there..
but I'd give them up for you, I swear..
Oh, you and I..
We're always been quite a match,
for you are the bow and I am the arrow you're holding back

I've sang every song..
I've written all my poems,
I painted with every colour,
And loved with every bone..

But just like that song..
I overplayed all our memories
And over-analysed the way
You'd look in my eyes,
You didn't mean nothing by it..

Oh but you now, won't answer my calls
And now you, don't follow my thoughts
Yet somehow you are still there,
And darling I, will still be here
If you fall..
Yeah honey I'd still be here
Even if the spark's no longer there,
I loved with every bone..
Loved with every poem,
I still love you
With my all.

When i was 6, i wanted to be something i completely made up in my head.. A 'space ninja pirate undercover superhero with wizardry powers' of some sort, and so i became just that.

&When; i was 10, i grew out of that and grew into the idea of being just an 'ordinary girl' with ordinary clothes and ordinary hair, no extraordinary powers of any sort, and so i became just ordinary.

But when I was 12, i grew tired of being like everyone else. I wanted to create something original for myself. And so i took a pen and an old Disney notepad and wrote all my random daydreams down, and so i became a dreamer and that was that.

However, at 14. I started to care a little too much. Gave my heart away freely and brought myself cheap love. My hair was far too ordinary and my imagination was far too weird,
' if i don't start shaving now, by 16 i'll have a beard ' and so self conscious i became, and that was that for that year.

Now i'm at 16, and i'm starting NOT to care, my daydreams have got me this far and i embrace my messy hobo like hair.. It's tricky though.
'Cause if i were to be honest, i'd say this;;
At 16, i want to touch people with my words but not become a 'poet'
I want people to relate to my music but i don't want to be a musician
I want to get over my depression
But i dont want to feel perfect
I kinda want to run away
But at the same time i want to always have a reason to stay.

Fall back down for me,
Cause things have been bad lately..
I'm a dreamer with no drive
I'm a writer with no fire..

And all the past is the past
And maybe this moment too will pass
Because we were birds without any wings,
And grew apart in the Summer Wind,
Oh..

Find your way to me, please
'Cause i want you when i turn 17
But i also want you to be happy
And i know you want the same for me

I'm just an abandoned doll,
I've got no faith at all..
And i'm a kite without any strings
Yet somehow attached, to a beautiful thing,

Oh.. You,
My Autumn Leaf,
Come back for just one *Summer Breeze.

It all started with..
"Watch your step when it comes, to finding true love.."
Oh girls like me may slip and fall,
If we don't dream so carefully i thought..
Well I'm a mermaid on the rocks with no feet at all..
Yet I'm running scared and I don't know, where to go..

But it's kind of exciting
I love the rhythm that flows,
in my writing
And you've got a hold,
On my rhyming,
I don't wanna let this, break..
(Oops)

See I love you,
how your 4 lettered name rolls off my tongue too,
I wanna dance to this song too,
I wanna be your day break now

There's a film in class which I think you'd like..
Well I'm just saying that because,
It's a rom com gangsta black&white;
Oh we're a silent film ourselves with lines of poetry as our speech..
And you're the heartbeat behind every piece I write and breathe

So can I stay for longer?,
I've been through heartbreaks before, & I've come out stronger
But you're not a heartbreak,
You're a Wonder..
A Scorpio Wonderland of stars..
Oh I love 'ya'
And I've got secrets to whisper at midnight,
I wanna see London light up only through your eyes
I'll be your special friend if you think that's alright..

It all started with;
A dreamer falling in and out of love..

But I'll be on the edge of the world with you if you ever wanted time to ever stop..

Everyday is a second chance to begin again,
Oh darling don't you know,
Today you can begin again

..But what about me?
How can you be so quick to leave me behind?
It's like I'm losing myself,
whilst trying to find myself
and it's logical yet completely stupid at the same time because
I ended up lost in a maze I didn't even want to walk into..
It's like getting stuck in the middle..
of a book with no pages
Perhaps I should write myself a route out of all of these mazes.

..Well now we've reached the en-
No. No it's not over yet,
my poetry has no limits,
my words will never just lose their meaning over
time

.. Time.
It may be running out but darling,
never will it
End.

I noticed the butterflies tangled in her hair,
I looked for reassurance in her eyes  and in that moment she didn't blink.
I asked her if I look pretty and she didn't even have to think.
"Yes you're beautiful" I noticed the tone of her voice was always so genuine so sweet
I asked her if I was her best friend
And she just looked at me.
I noticed the sound of her heart beat was always in time with mine
As if we were friend soulmates
Brought together to impact lives
I noticed her perfection even when she didn't see it in herself;
The girl who I facetime,
Has the face of an angel,
But her mind's somewhere else
She feels lost and confused
Worried and sad;
Anxious to the point where her own friends she will refuse..ave things really gotten so bad?
I noticed the way she moves,
So graceful and charming
Babe you're gonna be okay,
Even the bluest skies sometimes darken

An hour ride on the 121,
I kinda hoped for a one to one..
'cause I had to be sure if I was right
But now that ship has gone and sailed,
your heart belongs to someone else
but I wanna know if he'll treat you right..

So maybe we should stay on this bus
No don't get off
We'll listen to all those songs you love and recommend
Oh God..
I've got this song in my head and you're the words I won't forget
The time could pass,
but a friendship like ours should always last
so let's rewind..

'Cause when the sun sets,
you're my blue moon..
in the neon sky
And you're the safety net I've fallen into,
I've fallen for your eyes
So can I hug you tighter?
And for longer if you don't mind
'Cause until that sun rises,
you're the prettiest star in the sky

&Yesterday; you got that text,
thinking 'What do I do next?'
Well give yourself a break
before he does that to your heart..

See you don't know what you deserve
'cause you don't know just what you're worth
and I don't know where this could go, oh no but woah-oh-ohh

Stay on this bus, til I get off,
I'll turn the music up so it's enough for us..
I've got my head in the clouds,
and all these roads they lead to you
and now I'm writing this song,
but don't be alarmed,
it's part of this journey that I'm always on,
the road to heartbreak again..

But now I'm thinking about you,
as the sun sets in the sky
'cause you're the safety net I fell into,
I've fallen for your eyes
And I just hugged you tighter,
you laughed and said my hugs were nice,
well that's funny seeing as you are,
the most unreachable star in the sky

1) Wake up one day, make myself a steaming hot cup of coffee, go to the balcony and say good morning to New York City

2) Have pancakes and coffee at a cool diner and tell someone my life story

3) Write a song just for myself and not release it / share it

4) Dedicate a day to just spending time with my mum, no phone distractions or anything!

5) Stand up for myself.

6) Stand up for myself again (I reckon I'm gonna have to keep doing this as I get older, and as I interact with more strangers who think they know me)

7) Help out a charity - either a Cancer charity or a mental illness foundation

8) learn how to drive and blast out Taylor swift through the speakers

9) grow up and occasionally look back

10) become more confident

11) dye my hair at least one other colour before going back to basic black

12) dream big but not too big, don't want to lose sight of reality...

She's a book of poetry
easy to read if you're willing to read
She's so bittersweet to me
always excited,
yet tired at the same time
Will she ever find time?
To breathe..
And get away from the lights

She's so beautiful to me,
the way that Art fills her mind...

Oh Camila, if you're listening to this song
I hope you see that
you have purpose
you're so gorgeous
you're so strong
And I'm just a fangirl,
in a paper world
full of paper towns and hearts...
But your song makes me dance and-
Love Only's my anthem
and we're on our way to the stars... ♥

If i could be anybody,
i would be your somebody

What if time just slowly slipped?
..Out of mine, and your fingertips..
What if this moment is just all it is,
how could we capture it?
And savor it?
How can I keep you longer than this?

Maybe I should break the clocks..
so there'll be more time for us
We don't need the busy streets,
or the sound from drunken towns..
Maybe I could clone the world
so this one could be our alternate..
That would be so lovely,
Oh wouldn't it?

Just a fraction of your satisfaction's enough..
So I will fight with blood and sweat and tears
But how can I keep you longer here?

What if I could guide you through this life?
I promise I will be the sun in your sky
What if I told you..
Every minute with you,
makes me feel alive..
Would you stay another minute,
one last time?

'Cause I was drifting in existence,
falling through..
Just a sleepwalker,
whose now a dreamer..
Waking up to thoughts of you <3

When my counsellors asked me if i'll be okay without seeing them,
I said yes i'll be okay and i was excited to be okay because saying goodbye is like 'Doctor Who' And in Doctor Who,
People have to say Goodbye at some point for new faces to come along for the adventure..

And they smiled and said
Yes thats correct,
And i guess that's the best goodbye i'll ever get

https://soundcloud.com/sbdragonslayer/doubt-for-christina-grimmie

Please take a moment to hear my little cover for her.

Whether you knew her personally or just heard of her, whether you were a fan or just thought she was a sweet girl....

Give it a listen, take a few moments to also realise that...

Life is **** short, and often unfair.

Please don't break my heart..
Break a part of yours instead..
And then give it to me,
So i can treasure it forever

Cause you are strong and brave
I've seen your story scratched on your arms..
And every day's my favourite day,
Every day that we're together..

Oh this city's vibrant, we're in the heart of something brand new,
And my phone's on silent, cause my mind's plugged into you
And we're on top of a smaller world below,
Well you and I dear.. We both know.
We're a friendship that won't sink,
..But a love that can't float

Fate don't wake me up,
Cause i don't wanna wake up to someone better
And i know I'm not the one,
But right now I'm the only one,
Writing you poems and letters

The clouds are fading,
I'm under a different sky with you
And it's amazing..
Cause you're a star that's drifting too,
And I'm not breaking, i swear,
Oh that's impossible to do,
When you and I, dear..
We're a friendship that won't sink,
But a love that might lose..

So promise me you will keep,
Coming back into my life..
Cause one day i might be,
Alone in the city, walking at night thinking..

The city's no longer vibrant, oh it's quieter without you
And my phone's on silent,
Though I'm awaiting a call from you
And when i see that star shine, from a different sky I'll know,
That you and i dear..
We're a friendship that never sunk,
We just learned to float

Welcome to a new school year,
Academically you're bound to achieve here...
Welcome to the rest of your life,
Is it weird to think that someday, someone's gonna take your hand and look in your eyes to tell you you're a quirky kind and,
Someone, someday will let you read their journal and you'll see no one is as happy as they seem, love!
Because everybody wants the life they've always dreamed of

You don't have to follow all of the rules,
And I'm sure you'll learn more things out of school..
Oh ain't it strange how, someday someone will want to get to know you, and they'll tell you things that might make them seem uncool,
But when you see beyond those ego's and big hair-do's
You'll see that no one is as confident as they believe love,
Everybody just wants to be the person they've always dreamed of

There's a rumour you might hear about yourself,
The halls of high school may change into highways, to Hell
But if you don't take care of your mental health
Then everybody's gonna think you're a nightmare but don't you dare let hushed words define you
'Cause i'm certain that your fate will gracefully find you,
So prepare yourself for fake friends and heartbreaks and don't forget to count your blessings as well as your mistakes 'cause someone someday will give you too much of their heart
And thats okay because...

Everyone you meet will want to leave their mark.

Take my hand and free fall,
You look at me as if no one else exists at all..
And suddenly everything that seemed so heavy back then,
Doesn't weigh anything,
I've let go..

Lets solve crosswords and play board games
Thats what Sundays are for aren't they?
I look at you as if you are the missing piece..
From this puzzle of a sky above me

And all I have to give,
Is just a song that rhymes a little bit
And quite a meaningful hug
That goes on longer than a couple mins'
Would you take care of me?
And share with me,
Your hopes and your dreams..

I wanna write songs and drink coffee with you
Take it as easy as I can
I know my love often gets out of hand
But I'd like to get out the shower and model for you,
Tell you every evening how I am,
I know some days I'm quite sad
But I am easy to cheer up you see..
And if How I met your mother came on
Would you lie here with me for days on repeat? :')

Sometimes I look at my sister, Alex
And can't help but worry that someday
She'll lose her true love in the same way that i lost you.
I got you back just to lose you again
And i mean, i know that they say if you love someone you have to let them go, but where do i go, where can i go without hearing your name and seeing your face everywhere? .. It's you in all the coffee shops, it's you in the subway shop, it's you on all the trains that lead nowhere and it's you i hear telling me that i'll move on, i'll get there. But the truth is, i don't think i can.. You are the most beautiful and most amazing girl I've had the privilege to love, and you're the most beautiful and amazing thing I've had to lose. I didn't know you for 300 years, actually, i knew you for just the one year but what we had felt like it could've lasted an entire life time. I'm writing this letter in hope that it reaches you in another life some way or another because i..  i need you, i miss you.. i love you
..But i can't have you can i?

....Well, there's nothing 'magical' about heartbreak is there?.. Not even for a wizard.

Oh Mama.. Please
Just admit that you are wrong for once and i'll tell you that i'm sorry

'Cause Mama... we
are going head to head
But not heart to heart
So can I introduce you to the real me properly?..

I'm a girl whose still in love with another's daughter
She said 'Don't give up' and 'i'll stay strong' is what i told her
See you think that shes the reason why I'm so bad
But i promise theres more to it than just that

Oh life, is not exciting until you see it through the camera lens,
And heartbreak's inspiring until yours is broken by your best friend
And families aren't perfect, but we try to be again and again
Oh but am i really so bad?
Or just struggling to leave behind a legacy from dad..

Oh Mama please,
Don't be ******* me
I know i cry a lot
But you did too when you were 16

And mama please
Let me cry and scream
Cause inspiration comes
From pain,
According to me

So i'll go out tonight and
I'll take the long way home,
'give you time to stop being angry
Cause all the shouting and the doubting won't help you understand me..

Oh life, its such a mystery
When it takes love to know what really is misery
And friends, my friends all know me
Even better than i know myself
And that means something
'Cause in this life we all need help

But can i pay for happiness with just my music..
Throw all the money and the greed and self loathing pities of the world,
Into a bonfire and lose it..

Oh mama sometimes i just like to lose myself.

Would you let me walk you back to school?
And maybe later, teach me how to play pool?..
Oh maybe Friday if you're free,
Play dinosaur mini golf with me?
I know I'm uncool..
But I like who I am when i'm with you

Wont you tell your bro to add me back
Tell him I play guitar too but mostly when I'm sad..
Rock and roll is pretty cool,
And Hip Hop was better when it was old school..
But I write acoustic tunes...
Oh you know I do.

Did you ever get the message that I never sent?
You always said you could read me,
Well did you figure I was upset
When you didn't answer the phone
All these days I've felt alone
Just a little hollow and not okay..
But i'd still be here tomorrow,
Despite yesterday.

Oh I'd still love you tomorrow,
Even if my heart breaks apart today.

Don't worry about a thing,
because it will all be fine,
In the morning the birds will sing,
And the sun will shine
Life goes on, that's how time flies by..
So you might as well move on,
And leave your bad place behind

Don't cry over someone who,
Isn't even worth it..
It's their loss if they can't see
you're perfect
Don't cry yourself to sleep
Dream a dream for me
And then wake up next morning
Bright and early..

Oh when you're feeling down,
I'll be there to make you strong again
So pick your heart up off the ground,
Be strong don't ever pretend again

Okay one more verse,
Let's see if i can put this into words..
Don't over think the situation
Cause that will make things worse, oh
Just relax and let it go
I know it's easier said than done
But if we both never try,
We might never see that sun

Now that you're here, in my Wonderland
I hope you will stay for as long as you can,
please stay..

You walk like a star and you shine like one too
it amazes me how you're just so wonderful
so please stay, please stay..

You see since my heart broke,
I lost all hope in love
but you wandered into my mind
and now you're all I think of
so please stay..

Come and find me,
I'll be waiting 'til the break of dawn
and I'll be painting you a picture of love
and all it's innocence..
in the sky with my fingertips

How can I move on?
When I just want to go back to the start,
and how can I love myself with a broken heart?
I guess you were busy,
whilst I was busy
writing out the words to this song..

So can you tell me!
Tell me are you happy with your new found life?
I hear you finally found the chance to learn how to love again
I hope your someones someone heaven sent..
Oh babyy it's like I've fallen for a shooting star..
and i'd fall through wonderland again for your heart
but i doubt its worth it,
'cause we're too imperfect to sort this out..

But can you imagine no life quotes, voicenotes?
Singing God knows,
always.. ringing up your phone..
(even when I'm in the wrong)

Can you imagine no heartbreak, heartfelt lyrics?
My heart aches while you finish,
the best peppermint tea you've ever had and,
what you have with me..

I'm not exactly broken, just a little torn..
See i'm just as perfect as a rose thorn
I'm not exactly in love but I love you
And I know a fraction of you,
Loves too

It's just this Life thing, gets in the way
Of everything I want to, convey
So if you'll listen,
Here's a list of, reasons why
I'm willing to give my book,
A rewrite..

Some days, i'll get it wrong
And i'll come on way too strong..
Everyone's a fool, with words
Though my actions may be weak
I'll now listen when you speak
Everyone's a child, until 18..

And when your 18th birthday comes
You'll spend it with that someone..
In my eyes, everyone resembles an Ed Sheeran song..
So you'll always be my favourite 'Photograph',
Whenever I look back..
Everybody feels your warmth..

...Someday we'll meet again
With new loves and new best friends
Life can't help it, if our souls were meant to part..
But i'll hold on 'til the end
And learn to make amends..
Every now and then,
We'll have to break a heart.

I'm thinking about us,
Oh what a friendship..
But I'm not the only one..
Who seems to treasure it

We took the pictures from the wall,
And we became them..
A series of movie moments brought to life..
And 'Photograph''s my favourite

So have you fallen in love yet?
Have you fallen in love yet?
Have you fallen in love yet,
with the idea of us?
Cause I'm falling in love,
And sorry if it's a bit too much,
And dont worry if you don't love me enough,
But I'm falling in love..

And i remember being off my head
On my 17th,
Crying 'I'm in my black dress
With no one to impress!'
'Wondering if you'd choose me,
Over your cigarette
And wondering if i deserved more
Than your ignorance
See i was breaking down,
Tryna get to you..
'About to climb up that roof,
But not jump of it til i told you the truth..

That for some reason, i think i love you..
... And I'd love you sober, too..
Though its been a while and I'm not sure im over you or what im 'supposed to do..

But all i can really say is..

I'm thinking about us..
Oh what a migraine.. (Haha)
Cause you took the letters that my heart poured out,
.. And made them spell out my name

But all of these poems and letters,
Were actually for,
you.

Your heart's on fire,
your attributes I admire
I used to be 'factionless' 'til you became my home
and you're beautiful, I wish you knew it..
Fight even when you're wounded,
Do what it takes to push you through this

And when we hug don't let go,
Not until I can hear your thoughts
I wish I could make things better,
but all I know is how to string some words together
.. Don't let hope go, not during this war,
No, fight even when you're wounded,
Use your Courage as your sword.

Here's the thing;
Usually,
I'm not this shy or giggly
But when you speak
It sets off wild butterflies in, me..

So maybe in person,
I'm not that poetic
I might push away
And be dramatic
Well just pull me close
And i'll let you know..

I'll let you know
All the things that are running, running round in circles
through my mind..
Oh if you close your eyes

Its been a while,
Since i've let my hair down
But then on snapchat;
When i saw you smile
I knew then, i wanted to get to you
I just didn't know how to
So now that, the stars are all out i'll
Sit here and be your friend now
But oh gosh, i must confess
There's this Taylor Swift song that makes me think about you
Well now that it's obvious,
What more girl can I do?..
Woah oh oh..
I've got a crush on you :')

How can you ever find the right words to write
the last song
the last letter
the last poem

... for a first love?

How can you ever learn to trust again
when all your promises were broken,
all your future plans were crushed..

... by a first love.

How can you ever think that you deserve any better
once you let the best thing ever,
slip away from your fingers..

..The bar's set pretty high,
for the next girl or guy
and though my first love,
will never be my true love
she will always be,
the one I'll always love.

Flashback,
To that time we played blackjack
I was impressed by your ability to shuffle all the cards just like that,
&then; you showed me a magic trick with pistachio shells
Oh what a friendship it is when someone buys you peanuts and opens all the shells

Yeah confession;
You're in my sci fi screenplay
I think I wrote about you in the most innocent way
And theres a song that,
I currently have on replay...
And a smile that can't help but shine when I see your face
What a moment it is when you're sitting there on the bus and you just want to photograph it

Life's a chess game, and now its your move..
I'm standing on the front line,
I'm giving my horsey to you (haha)
Oh this life's a chess game,
One wrong move and I'll lose....
But here right now we're at a stalemate
All my pieces were going but the piece that remains, patiently waits
For you..
Oh with you I never want the game to end so soon

And I know that we can't fall in love
Cause we've got different ones for us
But what a friendship it is when none of that matters no more..
You're the chess opponent I've been waiting for,
You are.

I guess you're right, I am a true romantic..
I daydream through the night and through the day I plan things
& these songs I write may help you understand things
I'm not one to talk but with you I'd try dancing

So if you want someone there to sing to you whilst you do the dishes
And someone who can take care of all your hopes and wishes
I'm not one to talk oh for you I'd listen
And we could maybe take a late night walk through the city's division

Oh if you need someone there to help you take the weight off
to tell you, "**** you're beautiful without make up"
To hold flashcards for you whenever you need to stay up
in order to get that A grade
just go at your own pace...

If you need someone to do all of that then guess what?
I've always been,
just right here <3

We go through life thinking
"Oh what if?" And about all that should have been..
Comparisons are poison, oh how it leaves me wondering;
Am I not as beautiful as the flower you have picked up today?
Is that because you didn't notice that flower yesterday, and I started to shy away?
Am I not as kind as the Sun, who lets the Moon shine in your darkest moments?..
Am I just a sad song, the same broken record stuck on repeat?
& Is that why you'd rather listen to something else more uplifting than me?

We go through life, growing, and changing.
I am not the same as I used to be,
And everyday I'm getting closer to who I will be.
So why does it bother me, if you think about me differently?
Surely this life of mine is my life alone; and I'm the one in control you see..

But I'm not..
No, not really.
Because I care...
I care so much.

I wonder who I am to you,
And if I'll ever be enough
I wonder about the parts you don't love about yourself
And how those parts are just petals and you, the flower, you're still gorgeous regardless

Tell me you'll never give up
Tell me you'll reach for the stars.
Cause who you are to me,
Is not a secret..
Darling, you're my heart.

Pardon me you've got moondust
In your eyes love..
Did you know that?
And darling your smile's my weak spot
You make me feel so much..
When you do that

I think I'm hooked on this feeling that I call love
You got me out on the ceiling praying to God, for your love

I wanna tell you that I love you
Let me shout it from the rooftops now
I laugh my hardest when i'm with you
You take me higher than the clouds oh girl I
I think I'm going insane now
For your love
You got me going insane now for your touch

Babe you look like an angel
I see your halo, its so bright
And I wanna make you feel happy
From the moment you wake up
Feel alive

'Cause you got me hooked on this feeling that I call love
You got me out on the ceiling praying to God for your love

I lose all control for your love
But I don't deserve all your love.


^ guys these are lyrics to my new song I put out a music video for it last week and would really love it if anyone who liked my words, wanted to listen to the actual song: just copy and paste this link here:

https://youtu.be/-4HJcMJNH70

Love,
Cathyy

I know that you deserve someone more beautiful now..
But I've got a pretty little song in my pocket we can rinse out..

My heart is on the edge again
I'm at a crossroad; it's right or left again..
And I don't know which way to go..
Are we at the end of what we know as 'just friends'?
Cause everything good, and too good must surely end
But I love you and that's one thing I'm sure

I don't want life to interrupt us,
No, not yet..
And I don't want to be that person, in 5 years you'll want to forget
I don't want to reach the ending, of this particular story
Cause everyday there's just something new, everyday you paint the universe for me

So I don't want to let go,
Even if my mind says so..
Even if the clocks won't move slow
Even if the rest of the world turns it's back on me

No just my heart, on the edge all alone again
2 weeks apart and I'm afraid it won't beat again,
But then you'd message me and reassure me that you'll still be here, whenever I need

Well is it okay if I need you a lot?
Is it okay if tonight I saved you a spot?
Right on the edge, with a view that overlooks the city..
The lights are great but it's you, you're the most pretty;

I've got a song in the back of my pocket,
A little rinsed out, but i hope you'll still love it...
Oh I'm in love with you,
I love you,
I love.. This.

I said i wouldn't write another poem,
But everyone could see this coming
I'm just a heart with no home
Yet home is where i'm always running
I couldn't deal with the pain
I thought you of all people would understand
I tried to run away
But had to run right back to dive into my plans..
Its 2months til October,
2 months til it's over
It's gonna be my 17th birthday
And i was gonna disappear like
A gutless soldier
But i'm sitting here now in my cold lonely room
Staring out of the window, wandering
What happened to you,
Cause when you changed i changed with you well at least i tried
I tried to be more suited for you
And be more easy on the eye
But its not enough
And every night i remember prom
And when i come on this site
For reassurance i just feel much worse
Yeah all the hate in other's words
They're like venom to me
And we both know that if i were to become so famous, you wouldn't be jealous of me
Because i'd break and i'd cry when the pressure's getting to me
You said you loved me once so why are you forgetting me?
It's not fair for me to be broken by my soulmate and,
A bunch of people who never knew me at all just knew my voice and face
And i'd rewind the whole year if i could
Or at least the past 24 days,
Cause thats the last time when we spoke properly and when you put me in my place

But i'm gonna do great things down the line,
And i'm not gonna give up no not this time
You all hurt me too much for me to write such nice things and quotes
And i'll be either dead or maybe famous 5 years down the line i should hope

So let's just get this back to you
This doesn't feel like a poem more like a rap for you
And i'm sure you knew,
That when things got tough
I always took the wrap for you
And i hate how we're so distant,
You won't give my songs another listen cause you know they're all for you
But don't you think we've both pushed eachother enough?
Cause if i never said 'i love you'
I'd still have you in the way that i want

I'm just a dreamer..
And i think i always will be
I dream of you beside me
When the black hole's 'bout to **** me
Do you feel me?..
Cause i just wanna see you so much
So you can tell me it'll be okay
Even if we're both not
I miss you friend
But friends don't wanna kiss other friends
And friends would wanna go to weddings and be happy for them

I'm just a dreamer,
And maybe someday an achiever
But not a believer
No i don't believe in unrequited love,
Or maybe any kind of love,
No i don't..

Amazed and
Breathless
Crazier in love,
Desperate.
Every time i open my eyes
Fading stars become you and i
Grateful for your existence
Hopefully wishing,
I've just started living thanks to you
'Just remember to breathe
Keep it cool count to three
Learn to control how my heart races
Madly for thee'
^ notes to myself, when i picture you in front of me
Only you can make me feel
Perfectly safe even in the darkest of dreams
Question my love, i dare you to
Rant about how its not
Sparks fly with every second i get you free, you're a foot away from where i stand
Time has nothing on us, for darling i am
Utterly and completely in awe with the
Very beautifully drawn detail of your face and your silhouette, i
Wake up feeling like i can do anything, every single day with your voice in my head So do an
Xray on my heart and
You will see, and A to
Z, isn't enough,  i'd need 26 new and different letters to tell you i'm in love, without having it sound cliche..

(But i guess this was still cheesey)

Your eyes are killer to me.
'Sharp as the blade that cuts
Emotions out of me
&You;; stare is cold as can be
But it was never really like this
Could've sworn your arms
Used to be more inviting

But oh, i built a fence around my heart to keep you out
But you've found a way in, to my head somehow..
(And that's a dangerous entrance)

So how, how can i move on
When you're everywhere i go?
Oh but if theres one more thing you need to know, before you exit..

It's this;

I'm in a maze but please don't find me..
I'm in a dream but don't you wake me..
I'm in a world where there is no one else quite like me..
And i'm in love, but please don't save me.

Cause i'm afraid you can't save me,
You made me love love and now it hates me,
And now i don't know if i should be heartless..
'Cause maybe things would hurt less
If i used my heart less..

And if all is fair in love and war..
Won't you tell me how this self loathing war ends?

Hey there Christina,
What's it like to roam the city
When there's boys and girls who look at you, thinking;
'Isn't she so pretty?'
Well yes you are..
You're the prettiest soul in the world by far, but why are you so far?

Hey there Christina
What's it like being on stage?
I'm at home tonight writing this for you,
But i know you'll be just great
Give it all you've got..
Sing as if the microphones are off :')
Like i'm there to watch

But oh, what happened to us?
Cause oh how i've been missing you so much
And oh my love was never enough
But it's stronger now than it ever was

And Christina i can promise you
That by the time you read this through
I would have tried to live my life and get somewhere without you,
But i'd rather go back to square one with youu..

.. Hey there Christina,
I hope you always find a reason to smile,
Even if that smile is no longer because of me, I'm glad I meant something to you for a while,
And i'm still writing to you,
Every single day.

Hey you,
Why are you so down?
You think your life is over
But baby look around..

You think that no one gets it,
And maybe that's true
But if you're blocking people out
Looks like we'll never have a clue..

Hey you,
Why are you so scared?
You're ready for it to be over
But i'll stop you getting there
It's not the only way,
No self harm would never help
'Cause though you're letting go of pain
You're still damaging yourself

So tell me why you are hurting
And then tell me if it's worth it..

'Cause you think that no one cares,
And you think no one will listen
But what you think and what is true
Are two things totally different..
So open up don't bottle up
It's never good to feel not good enough
And what you feel and what i think
Are two things totally different..

I think you're strong
'Cause you're still living
You're still fighting
You're still trying

And you'd be wrong
If you think different
So stay strong,
Don't ever give in

I think you're strong
'Cause you're still going
You're still coping
You're still growing
You're far from weak
So don't you give in,
The water's deep..
Just keep on swimming..

'Cause you think that no one cares,
But darling i always will.

Him and her..
They're like peanut butter and jelly
And he shows her off on his arm like perfume because deep down he knows he's smelly

But no.. I can't write things like that
'Cause deep down i am happy that she's happy

So hey sweetheart, can i call you at sunrise,
Wake you up for one last time?
Before i see you again in the far future,
Dressed in white

Someday soon i'll forget
How you looked in that dress
And the way he spun you around and around.. (i don't know if this bit actually happened because i tried to look away a lot but it probably did lol!)

And maybe you'll read this poem,
Hear my song.. Someday soon
And find that letter left at Prom
Instead of my cinderella shoes..
Yeah someday i might actually stop crying, locked inside my own tower
Wishing i was dying
But in reality wanting to grow
And glow like your favourite flower

... Yeah someday soon, i'll send flowers
But addressed to 'him&her;'
So they could be yours, not ours..

Oh friends and poets
I don't know how to end this
But like how i end most friendships,
I'll say the old 'Cathy classic'


i'm so in love with you
With him or without him.

I'd send you poetry
I'd give you all of me
I'd love you gratefully
I'd buy you err.. A mercedes
I'd sing you m-
Gah
This
Poem
Should've
Ended
By
Now..

(So where do we go from here?)

I said I liked that song you played
Cause it matched your heartbeat
And I would have danced with you on the 17th, if I didn't have two left feet

Oh you've got everyone falling for you, and you don't even realise..
I was just one half of an
Unrequited love poem
Until you came along
And took me by surprise

..Like a heartwarming sunrise.

You're fire,
I'm fire
Together we can never tire..
You're the truth
I'm a liar
I said it's just a crush
But it must be more, to inspire..
My songs,
My poems
Together we can always find a
Way back home
You're the spark
Awakening my nerves...
Oh together we make
Fire-works...


Fly.