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Jun 2018 · 596
Dear Younger Me
Scarlet Rose Jun 2018
Slow down
Watch the sunset
Pick flowers
Tickle the baby
Remember the small things

Don’t forget to tell your sister you love her
Because she’ll be gone soon
Build legos and have tea parties with the little kids
Because you’ll be gone soon too

Don’t worry so much about the future
It usually takes care of itself

I promise your mum and dad love you
Even when it feels like they don’t
Confide in them often
They understand better than you think

That boy may be cute
And he might make you laugh
But I promise he isn’t worth your time
There’s someone so much better coming
Be patient
Wait for him

Remember it’s okay to cry
As long as you can smile afterward
Always know you are loved and needed
Even when you think you aren’t

Sing in the park
Dance in the yard
Turn up those headphones
Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to have fun
As long as you work hard in between

Read your Bible
Don’t forget to pray
And when you feel afraid remember God always has a plan
And it is always the best plan

Your life will be a good one
Even during the bad times
Look forward to it
Jun 2018 · 414
The Tears Inside
Scarlet Rose Jun 2018
Your eyes stay dry
But I can feel tears
Kept inside your soul
Hiding behind your brown eyes

Come lay your head
Against my chest
Feel the pumping
Of the heart that beats for you

Let me hold you
Wrapped in my arms
Until the sadness
Is set free from your spirit

Let tears fall steadily
Heavy and scorching
Until your soul is calm
And you find your home in my arms
Jun 2018 · 560
Scarlet Rose Jun 2018
Lost in a sea of faces
Not alone, yet lonely.
Friends are all around me
I am enveloped in their arms
And yet so alone.

I am terrified of the darkness
That lies ever before me:
The future, full of unknown.
Others have gone before me;
It is they who lead me now.
Nothing to fear, yet frightened
And so very alone.

And what is this on the pillow?
Tears never used to fall there.
Happy life, life of love,
How did sadness creep in?
Now the tears come often and again,
Sobs shake the body—where is joy?
And why so alone?

Growing up is not the dream
My childhood me happily created.
Too much unknown,
Too much knowledge.
Many to guide through the black abyss
And yet so alone.

How? Why can this be?
Opposites exist all at once,
The same time, the same place.
Is this growing up? How do I stop?
I feel so alone.
May 2018 · 308
Broken Glass
Scarlet Rose May 2018
She threw it away
A beautiful little bottle
It tossed between the waves
Crashed against the rocks
Shattered to pieces
Because she didn’t want it

Jagged edges
The smooth glass marred
It hurt those who stepped on it
And took pleasure in the hurting
Because it had been hurt once
When someone threw it away

A rose-cheeked little girl
Hands full of seashells
Sees a glint on the sand
Picks up the little piece
Gasps in awe at its beauty
Adds it to her jar of broken glass
And watches as a stray sunbeam
Shines through her jar
Creating a rainbow on the sand
Apr 2018 · 342
Who Are You?
Scarlet Rose Apr 2018
I am the swirls in the steam above your tea cup, the whisper of wind in the tops of trees; I am that high and light laugh that you can never find the source of, that soft tap of feet that always follows you; I am always there but never tangible, always just beyond where your eyes can see even when they look right at me; I hide in plain sight, even when I shout it is a whisper; I am stuck between two worlds, always where you are, and yet a million miles away.
Apr 2018 · 383
Scarlet Rose Apr 2018
Sorry isn’t enough.”

I know.
But it’s all I have.

Maybe it is better to stay silent
Than to give an apology
That isn’t enough.
Apr 2018 · 1.6k
Scarlet Rose Apr 2018
Take hold of my hand
And help me fly
Over crystal oceans,
Through a violet sky.

Let me hold a fairy.
May I give her a kiss?
I’ve never seen a glow
As beautiful as this.

Sit with me on clouds
Over the Mermaid Lagoon.
Let me kiss the stars;
Help me touch the moon.

Let me run with Lost Boys,
Give me a pirate sword.
I’ll obey your every order,
You have my solemn word.

Do not make me leave—
Please! Let me stay!
Better yet, come get me
And really take me away.
Apr 2018 · 743
Scarlet Rose Apr 2018
When goodnight
No longer means goodbye
And I can sleep
Inside your arms

When the world
No longer tries to keep us apart
And we are
Safe from harm

When our tears
No longer fall like the rain
And the sun smiles
Down from her dome

When we live
No longer separately in life
That is when
I will be home
Apr 2018 · 1.6k
Alice Down the Rabbit Hole
Scarlet Rose Apr 2018
Your soft brown eyes collide with mine
And my whole world starts spinning
Round like a top
As I drop
Drowning in those eyes
Nov 2017 · 255
Scarlet Rose Nov 2017
Sometimes I hate you.

But on the good days,
I remember you laughing
And ruffling my hair without pulling it
And buying me an ice cream cone.

Sometimes I almost love you.
It's hard not to let you hurt me again
Nov 2017 · 192
Scarlet Rose Nov 2017
Every word you used to say
Every lie you made me believe
Still echoes in my head
And when I lie in the dark
All those words scream at me
Reminding me

Of every time you told me
That I was worthless
That I was pathetic
That nobody loved me
That I could never do anything right

And after so many years
A part of me still wonders
If they were really lies after all

Because if even you didn’t love me
Then maybe I really am just that worthless
Jun 2017 · 370
Scarlet Rose Jun 2017
Sometimes there's solace in writing words,
Watching them swoop in gentle curves,

Losing myself in a world of my own--
A peaceful place where I dwell alone.

Among the letters I have myself created,
I find escape from the world I've hated,

And can emerge happily, after some time,
Ready to take on life with this smile of mine.
Sometimes writing is the only thing that can help
Jun 2017 · 242
Help Me
Scarlet Rose Jun 2017
            Save me

I think I'm drowning
Jun 2017 · 328
Scarlet Rose Jun 2017
A lonely little boy
Once wished for a kitten
To keep him company
When the days got hard.

A small broken kitten
Once wished for a friend;
Someone to talk to
When the nights got dark.

Then they found each other.
The kitten keeps him company.
The boy helps her when she's afraid.
Jun 2017 · 342
Scarlet Rose Jun 2017
I don't want to die
I just want to sleep
Until it's over

But sometimes
I want to die
I just don't want
To **** myself
But I promised I'd hang on
Jun 2017 · 279
I Miss You
Scarlet Rose Jun 2017
It hurts to say I love you
Even though it's the truth

And it hurts hear those words
Coming from you too

It makes my heart ache
Because I can't have you
Two a very long time...I wish we didn't have to wait to get married
May 2017 · 898
Hello Dear
Scarlet Rose May 2017
Take a deep breath
Look in the mirror
Remember that life will not always be this hard
Eat some chocolate
Go on a walk
Cheer up darling
Things will get better
I promise
Chin up sweetheart. Keep your eyes on the light ahead. You can make it.
May 2017 · 674
Being Difficult
Scarlet Rose May 2017
Go ahead and shout,
You'll find I don't really care--
I think it's rather cute
When you give me that glare.
I will continue to annoy you for the rest of our lives. (Oh hush you love me.)
Mar 2017 · 310
What a Mess
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
How did we get into this mess love?
How did we end up here?
All I wanted was a friend
And then for a brief moment
You were so much more
And I could touch the stars above--
And then they took you away
How did we get into this mess love?
Can't see very clearly, but I'll keep fighting.
Mar 2017 · 5.8k
I Understand
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
You said you'd love me
No matter what I did--
I understand

You said it was alright
To have bad days--
I understand

You said that I could
Make my own decision--
I understand

You said it was okay
If we disagreed--
I understand

I understand that they were
Empty words
And that in actuality
You want me to be
A Sunshine Girl
All the time

I understand.
I'll go back to faking my smile.
I'll go back to crying in secret.
If you want me to be happy
I will be.
Don't worry about me--
If you ever have, I mean.
It's alright.
I understand.
If you don't want me to show you who I really, please don't say you do.
Mar 2017 · 302
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
I feel like dancing
On silver moonbeams
And singing lullabies
To sparkling streams

I feel like flying
Just as high as I can
And holding the stars
In the palm of my hand.

I feel like jumping
To touch the clouds
I feel like spinning
Until I fall down

Is this happiness?
I'd almost forgot
What it felt like--
I've missed this a lot.
I think the sun just came out again...
Mar 2017 · 389
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
My bed used to be an escape
Where I could go to dream
And think pretty thoughts

Now my bed is just a trap
Filled with nightmares
And the absence of you
I hate my bed
Mar 2017 · 607
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
You berate me
For things I haven't done yet
Telling me
That failure is inevitable
Yet you wonder
Why I am afraid to try
I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you
Mar 2017 · 627
I See You
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
I see you in the climbing flowers
That smile down at me sweetly

I see you in the sunbeams
That kiss the top of my head

I see you in the ocean waves
That calm me with their soft tossing

I see you in the twinkling stars
That wink at me cheekily

I see you everywhere
Except by my side
I miss you
Mar 2017 · 386
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
"You're awfully quiet lately. Are you okay?"

I'm okay.
Sometimes I think I might be dying.

I'm just tired.
I cry myself to sleep every night in the dark.

I'll feel better after I get some sleep.
It feels like my heart has shattered into a million pieces.

I'm fine, I promise.
I'm not fine. Please help me.
Mar 2017 · 556
Not There
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
I'm not there to make you smile
After a long day of studying.

I'm not there to hug you tight
When the loneliness creeps in.

I'm not there to say it'll be alright
When you start to lose patience.

I'm not there to pray with you
When the pressure starts to get to you.

It's hard that you're not here for me
But it's worse that I'm not there
When I know that you must need me.
It's only for six months...I never realized six months could be so long...
Mar 2017 · 790
Hide and Seek
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
I'm very good at pretending to be happy
But somehow you know I'm sad
When no one else does

My heart is very broken inside me
But somehow you mended it
When no one else could

I'm easily tired of this world and its people
But somehow you make me smile
When no one else can

I'm very good at hide and seek
But somehow you found me
When no one else did
Mar 2017 · 1.1k
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
Wherever you are
That is where I belong.

That's why when I miss you
I say I am homesick.
Home is where the heart is
Mar 2017 · 2.8k
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
Everything I do
Everything I say
Everything I think
Is just a motion.

What is the point?
What is the purpose?

I used to get excited
I used to be sad
I used to enjoy life
But now I am numb
There is no feeling

I scream in frustration
I do not understand!
What has changed?

My life is the same as ever it has been
It is only my view that has changed
And now I wonder
What is the point

What is the point of getting up
What is the point of working hard
What is the point of eating
Or sleeping or talking
What is the point of fighting the monsters
When they always come back

What is the point of my life?
Can someone please tell me my purpose?
Can someone give me a reason to keep going?

I do not want to die.
I want to live again.
Would someone please tell me how?
Feb 2017 · 266
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
They can't see me cry
If they don't open the door

That's why I keep it locked
Feb 2017 · 215
Bits of You
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
I see bits of you in everything.
My sister's jokes.
My mother's scolding.
My grandpa's stories.
My father's protectiveness.
My brother's hugs.
My grandma's smiles.
You seem to be everywhere.

And yet you're still missing.
Here but not here
Feb 2017 · 535
A Boy in Wisconsin
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
You watched my reaction to your story.
"I know a boy," I said, and paused.
Your eyebrows lifted. You waited.
"I know a boy in Wisconsin," I said, and faltered again.
I watched a small smile spread slowly over your face.
"Is there more to this story?" you asked me softly.
I stared at the ground, trying hard to hide my smile. "There might be."
You took my hand and I glanced up. There was a knowing smile on your face. And you waited for me to speak again.
"I hope there is," I said, barely above a whisper.
You smiled again and just walked quietly beside me. I think you were waiting for me to say more. But I didn't. Because there was too much to say and I didn't know how to start.
After a bit, you began to tell me more of your stories. But you didn't forget. I could see it in your eyes. Whenever I got quiet, you smiled at me. You told me a bit about Wisconsin. Said you'd been there before. Said it was pretty up north.
I hope you get to meet that boy in Wisconsin someday. He'd like you.
A letter to my grandpa.
Feb 2017 · 1.2k
Ghost of You
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
I thought I saw you yesterday
Just walking down the street
But it was only someone who looked like you

I thought I felt you last night
Hugging me close so I wasn't afraid
But it was only a dream that I soon woke from

I thought I heard you this morning
Calling my name from the kitchen
But it was only my sister using a funny voice

I thought you were with me just now
Telling me everything would be okay
But it was only the thoughts inside my own head
Missing you
Everywhere I turn, you seem to be there. It's like your ghost is following me around. I don't know how much longer I can take this.
Feb 2017 · 309
Remember Me?
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
Remember me?
I'm the little girl who waited
But you didn't come.

Remember me?
I'm the little girl who thought she saw you
But you didn't come.

Remember me?
I'm the little girl who waited every night
But you didn't come.

Remember me?
I'm the little girl who grew up
Because you never came.
Feb 2017 · 182
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
Broken hearts
Make better poets

Because this happiness
Is too big for words
Feb 2017 · 306
Hidden Love
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
Hide my little smile
Every time you say my name

Hide my blushing face
Every time you say something sweet

Hide every leap of my heart
Whenever you call me yours

How long do I have to hide?
When I can tell them you're mine?
I hate waiting
Feb 2017 · 263
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
Don't make me grow up all at once.

A bud can become a beautiful flower
If you let it open slowly.

But if you force it open,
Rip the petals wide,
It just becomes a broken mess.
Feb 2017 · 253
Repair Boy
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
You try very hard
To make people laugh
Even when you can't smile yourself.

You tell you friends
It will be okay
Even when you're frightened yourself.

You work quite hard
To keep everyone happy
Even when you're crying yourself to sleep.

Poor little Repair Boy
Trying to fix everything
In an attempt to fix your broken heart.
Would you let me fix it for you?
Feb 2017 · 322
Day and Night
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
Daylight makes it easy to smile
Daylight makes it easy to laugh
Daylight makes it easy to sing
Daylight makes it easy to pretend

It's the night when my smile slips
It's the night when I begin to sigh
It's the night when the tears start to fall
It's the night when I miss you the most
It's harder to be happy when no one can see me
Feb 2017 · 410
I'm Fine
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
Stand up tall so they don't know that you're dying.
Plaster on a smile, don't let them see you crying.
Everybody's watching, you can't afford to crack.
Everbody's counting on you; hold all your feelings back.
You're the big sister, you're not supposed to fall apart--
And never let anyone see what's going on in your heart.
Straighten your spine and stand up and smile
And make believe you're cheerful; it's just for a while.
Never let them see you cry
Feb 2017 · 2.8k
Under My Umbrella
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
Pit-pat goes the rain
Falling all around.
From under my umbrella
I watch it hit the ground.

Splish-splash go the puddles
As I come stomping through.
My boots keep me nice and dry,
And my umbrella too.

Outside it's wet and drippy
As rain falls from the sky,
But underneath my umbrella
I stay cozy and dry.

And though the sky is cloudy
And the sun has hidden her face,
Under my own little umbrella
I have a happy, pleasant place.
It's raining today and I seem to have lost my umbrella...
Feb 2017 · 622
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
I keep trying to fill the void
With other people's voices.

It feels so quiet
Without you here.
Feb 2017 · 293
Oldest I've Been
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
I'm still a rather little girl.
I mess things up a lot.
I tend to dream the day away
Chasing every pleasant thought.
But please remember, when you look at me then,
This is the oldest that I have ever been.

I see always, through fresh eyes,
A world of beauty, songs to be sung.
I follow the wind to far off places
Full of fantasies and hopeful love.
And please remember, when you look at me then,
This is the oldest that I have ever been.

Please don't force me to grow up.
I'll do it sometime, I am sure.
But then perhaps I'll lose the song,
Maybe not see the beauty anymore.
So please remember, then, when you look at me,
This is not the oldest I will ever be.
Feb 2017 · 243
Don't Forget Me
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
Yes. You promised.

I think maybe you have.

Never is a very long time.
Please remember
Feb 2017 · 420
Natural Curls
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
So often I see you try to be
Something you are not.
Please stop.

Did you know I thought
I had to always straighten my hair
But then I found out my curls
Can be beautiful?
Feb 2017 · 523
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
A quiet park, all alone,
Sitting on my swinging throne.

Back and forth, upward I fly,
Into the beautiful, cloudless sky.

Soaring, smiling, wind in my face;
Just me and swing in a peaceful place.
At least there's peace here if nowhere else
Feb 2017 · 379
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
It's dark inside. It's where my demons hide.

Ha! If only it were as easy as demons, darling!
Demons at least are predictable.
But no.

Inside is where my hydra lives
With too many heads to count.
And each time I cut off one
Two more grown.

They all want something different.
They never agree,
The voices in my head.
They scream at me and never stop.

The only thing that keeps me from going insane--
Well, there isn't anything.
Guess that's why I'm like this.
Feb 2017 · 287
I Think I Love You
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
When your lips curl into that smile
Or your cheeky grin appears
When you hide your blushing face--
Sometimes I think I love you.

When your lovely eyes light up
Or they stare off in that thoughtful way
When they smile all by themselves--
Sometimes I think I love you.

When you speak with that funny accent
Or you say my name with that lilt
When you talk to your cat that way--
Sometimes I think I love you.

When you make those silly faces
Or you tell a joke just to see me laugh
When you say everything will be okay--
Sometimes I think I love you.
Feb 2017 · 257
What Have I Done
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
Holding your heart
In the palm of my hand.
What do I do now?

Look at it sparkle;
I wish I could keep it.
Why did you give it to me?

If I keep I'll **** it,
If I give it back it breaks.
So what do I do now?

Take it back yourself--
Please? It's the only way.
Why did you give it to me?
I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen.
Feb 2017 · 283
No One Told Me
Scarlet Rose Feb 2017
They said to watch my step.
They said don't fall.
No one told me
To keep others from falling.

They said to be on guard.
They said, “Stay in your tower.”
No one told me
That others don't have towers.

They said don't get invested.
They said don't fall in love.
No one told me
To keep others from loving me.

They said heartbreak hurts.
They described the feeling.
No one told me
What it feels like to cause a broken heart.
Breaking my own heart was hard enough--why do I have to break yours too?
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