Scarlet Rose Nov 2017

Sometimes I hate you.

But on the good days,
I remember you laughing
And ruffling my hair without pulling it
And buying me an ice cream cone.

Sometimes I almost love you.

It's hard not to let you hurt me again
Scarlet Rose Nov 2017

Every word you used to say
Every lie you made me believe
Still echoes in my head
And when I lie in the dark
All those words scream at me
Reminding me

Of every time you told me
That I was worthless
That I was pathetic
That nobody loved me
That I could never do anything right

And after so many years
A part of me still wonders
If they were really lies after all

Because if my own mother didn’t love me
Then maybe I really am just that worthless

Scarlet Rose Jun 2017

Sometimes there's solace in writing words,
Watching them swoop in gentle curves,

Losing myself in a world of my own--
A peaceful place where I dwell alone.

Among the letters I have myself created,
I find escape from the world I've hated,

And can emerge happily, after some time,
Ready to take on life with this smile of mine.

Sometimes writing is the only thing that can help
Scarlet Rose Jun 2017

            Save me

I think I'm drowning

Scarlet Rose Jun 2017

A lonely little boy
Once wished for a kitten
To keep him company
When the days got hard.

A small broken kitten
Once wished for a friend;
Someone to talk to
When the nights got dark.

Then they found each other.

The kitten keeps him company.
The boy helps her when she's afraid.
Scarlet Rose Jun 2017

I don't want to die
I just want to sleep
Until it's over

But sometimes
I want to die
I just don't want
To kill myself

But I promised I'd hang on
Scarlet Rose Jun 2017

It hurts to say I love you
Even though it's the truth

And it hurts hear those words
Coming from you too

It makes my heart ache
Because I can't have you

Two a very long time...I wish we didn't have to wait to get married
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