under pearls by the water
trickle down the tears of an angel's
daughter

in the forest deep below
resting her head on an earthy pillow

the animals guard and keep her safe
shine and pray the light away

the moon is her companion
for it she dances
the sun comes over and delightfully prances

in this finest hour
the world is no longer ours

a union of more than two
a trust greater than me and you

the sky cracks open and screams  
the dance is no longer for thee

maybe she was a little too free
perhaps the forest stifled her pleas

the sheer look of catching your seemingly intent stare
hit me like a blow to the heart.
i'll wear the bruise like the finest piece of jewelry.

everything and nothing is what it was,
and if i could
i'd make the sky cry feathers,
and diamonds would muse out of the back of heaven's throat.
a heavy song for the heaviest of loves.

but i can only want and feel,
as you stand, i kneel.

off with my head!
god, help me heal!

there is no one but him,
and oh it kills, it kills

sweet sucker of crushing cruelty,
dripping my sanity to the very last bit.

you come and go as you please,
leaving destruction in your path
in the form of poetry.

i cry at the fires you set,
and rebuild myself again;
***** myself with a pen,
and start, begin to end.

i'm running out of arteries to slice,
not having you puts my thoughts on ice.

i'd like to think you keep me from
burning the whole world down,

that sweet, sweet song
brighter than the mountain's sound.

i swear i can feel your glacial, sticky breath cling to my soul,
and as every second goes by, i find myself wishing to be completely frozen:

a ****** statue of ice.

there are times when i wish to take your own scythe-
reap the light's end,
but sadly, every attempt's pretend.

i can't quite bring to mind on what keeps me here..
what keeps me alive?

it is obvious i am not for this life...
i feel you with every toe and step.
would it be any different if i am dead?

i already feel like a corpse walking.

what keeps my heart starting when it needs to be stopping?

my baby whispers to me in soft, sweeping tones.
his breath breaks bricks against my neck.
a bloated song of corruption that continues its infectious drone,
so he has me singing soul-less strains of wreck.

i writhe against him just to feel the notes that carry sweet half truths grace my being.
sweet arias tell me that seeing is deceiving.
he rubs my shoulders with his hands of menacing gold.
the colossus has struck me with his blessing , my story to tell when old.

the hymn plays on, a story to be told...
a scene to lay waste on a magazine centerfold.

but his grip grows iron on my neck,
and i shatter to pieces.

his anthem strikes me down,
my scream becomes a yawn and ceases

my love began in lies.
a web of what-ifs i wove to fall in when the sun refused to shine,
and the string of loveless red around my ankle no longer feels the pull and tug of possibility.

and i yearn for the kiss that would
fracture time.
like an itch i can't scratch,
like trying to make ice in an oven.
i then see my love lies limp.

wound in my web, venom in my veins, hung by the noose of love's insane.

an eternal walk is what i'd call it:
oblivion,

much like my current standing.

i step blindly, not sure of where i'm going:
who to love, who to trust.

there's nothing i can do but keep on going,
because if i were to stop, i would shame those who came before me.

pity the living.

oblivion is what i was given,
i'm not sure if i can take the split

so i'll take the iron stake,
and see what i can make of it

i now bear the burden of the phoenix,
but your heat is what sets me ablaze.

day by day,
i take the beating of your rays,
and sizzle and frizzle
in your stay.

when the time comes to turn to ash,
i find myself with charred hope.
for some reason i still swallow the same smoldered smoke.

my wings dance with the tongues of your ardent flare.
wither and thither boy,
who still whispers wisps of wild prayer

i've been hanging from the crescent moon

strung up by
the sinews of a heart that
pumps no blood

a celestial noose
of angels

and i can hear them every so often as
the wind blows -
strong underneath their
skeletal wings

it's getting tighter,
but i can feel no pain

i am hanging from the waning light, but i am not dying

the white, glowing disc among the blackness
attracts lost seraphim
like vultures

swarming around my fading flame like
a secret pagan ritual

they all wait for me to kiss the devil
with my eyes wide open
and i will wonder why
i fell in love with the wrong person again

my heart goes out to my soul sister,
who took the heat to the head,
and leaves me alone in this bed.

i wish you were here instead.

my heart goes out to your words,
that tattoo themselves onto my mind
and heart.

words that catalyzed my art to start.

even though i've never met you,
i feel like i do,

because if i could go back in time,
if there was something i knew

i would abandon all
to stop and save you.

the moon
took shelter in my chest and
made a home
of my husk of a body

but it's too
big and bleeding
to hold tight

i have learned to breathe under holy water -
grew gills so strong they are
lined with celestial gold.

the ocean is a puddle to me now.

and i ***** pearls of pain,
lick them clean with my acetylene
tongue.

my acids will heal what the world cannot.

pills and love potions  
can't take away
my virginity.

i am clean, so clean.

the devil watches me and
cringes at my radioactive light.

for i am dead and alive all at once.
poison, poison.

the radium drips from my lips like
babyspit and i am too pure
for god himself

so i offer my golden blood
to a higher power

that would take the pureness of it all
and make it an ounce
of what i could have been

god gives glory in defeat and
i search through that darkness that
excludes and gives light to
heavy hearts.

darkness that is contradictory in its ways because
it gives birth to lux in secrecy and
play, then allows you to succumb to better things.

like an evil queen he hides her up in a tower,
veiled by turbulent, tumultuous clouds that thunder and roar
to drown out her screams for rescue.

as i trek on i tell myself,
"**** a demon today, face the devil tomorrow.",
but i have been in hell too long,
and i can no longer tell the difference between
feathered wings and ghoul kings.

on stone-paths, i hear the angels of mercy sing.
their notes lead the way,
but somehow i get caught up in the stupor.

i search through darkness to find the light.
light shone on darkness and
darkness did not come.

yet i still wear his helmet.

there is a raven who sings me to sleep,
if could,
i'd dream every night.

that abyss of whom i am born,
cradles me in its arms of stars
and heart of clouds.

the moon is my light,
my goddess: lenore.
wings of black soul beating the air of love, forevermore.
whip me a whirlwind.

raven, oh raven, if you could see me now

i stretched my arm out across the world
to find someone's hand to hold,
when the sun was cold,
and the moon was black pearled.

twice they turned their back on me,
and twice i faltered in the spilt blood of three.

oh, stars, i can't reach you.
carry me, ascension!

only the stars know true

even on the brightest of days
there was darkness within my soul

the burning cold scythe whispers for
a paradise tomorrow and release from the
butterfly pain

everything cuts and the reaper has feeling
a once clinical mercenary tinged by the darkness that followed me
into hell and out
back and up
out and nowhere

death's regrets paints mercy on a face that wants none

so i tell him:

swing in the darkness
cut the air of oblivion

you'll find it hurts just as much
as the first time

HE is the ultimate omen, the satan-slayer, the real mephistopheles.
he drips into my panicked mind like rancid blood, oozing into every
nerve and crevice.

stop; i'm already breathless.

there's no way you could dance through the shadows unseen, unheard, undetected.

but still, you bypass my every defense and creep behind me,

your aura radiates disease and ******, i feel your cold breath against my neck, and red is all i see.

my mind runs rampant with the ideas of the terrors that be.

i turn to face the awful red-death, the demon that makes god's army of angels flee.

he licks his lips and pounces only at me, i turn back and count to three.

lies wet on my lips
eyes set to the sky
ears keen to the sound
of your reluctant goodbye

the gods hold my silence,
as aphrodite sews my lips shut,
all the while your fading silhouette
becomes just a bit too much

for years i'll long for your touch,
but i'll forever wear this hue
of a red so strong
it brings back visions of you

poison trembles above,
looming,
dripping rancid memories that
rip into my bones and
claw out the life

even with the gun in my hand,
i can tell there is blood in the water

the souls of fireflies flutter and wander

toward them i find release

following them to the fields of chernobyl,
walking barefoot in a minefield,
crushing diamonds with my hands

darkness cannot pry open my
gores of gold

i will not die tamely

he will come in a dance of
letting go
and holding on

everything about you makes my whole being echo
and i long for nothing more than to sing in unison

the sole amplification of your answer
leaves me waiting for another and

i now know how it feels to be left hanging
off a cliff

in the act of damning your soul to shackles,
one can only look up:
it is the sky that holds my solace.

i like to think that each of my wishes for you
became stars,
alas my sky has darkened

perhaps the sky is only for the living

with my head bent to hell
and my heart turned to a storm,
i pay reverence to the sky,
because at last it is time to say goodbye

Rain falls like a lead sheet beating
ages on my back. The water rises,
but through the muddiness of the dividing sea  
your light stands clear. You stand 
beyond my riverside,
the birth of Venus before my eyes.

Skin like seafoam and eyes
like amber coax my hands into fists, beating
ripples into your image that not even the riverside
rain and my own reflection could rise
over. As the waves ripple across your cheeks, I stand
to remember you are also across this sea.

Caught between this love like religion, the sea
breeze makes poetry of your hair in the wind, and my eyes
have never been drowned deeper. I have never had to stand
a love so murderous; even your mirror image gives my soul a beating.
All the while, the water rises,
crashing against the riverside.

Across the riverside,
your gaze is resolute and colder than the sea.
The sun rises,
to find her light breaking the horizon with her eyes
that held back whirlpools, beating
my soul with crashing waves of division, which I can no longer stand.

Too deep to stand,
dangers of the divide bound my desire. A prisoner to the riverside.
The chains of star-crossed lovers crash with the waves, beating
my sense into sea.
Pain is no stranger to your eyes.
The beauty of the sea would always rise.

Hurricanes beat you into perfection and you rise
and stand
above the ordinary eyes.
Storm-beaten and Tempest-tossed on this riverside,
A godly daughter of the ominous sea
has overcame a beating.

Beyond the riverside,
across the sea,
my heart is beating.

hopping along the river rocks,
earthblood courses

veins of nature ebb and flow to the
place where it all started

along the coasts and in the middle of nowhere
where my fathers lie

"you are not mine
we are divine,"
they say

there will be better days
although my heart stays

in the bloodwater of the past

the veins keep moving
nature's heart keeps beating

i am still hoping
for better days

the sun still shines
down by the riverside
everything is the same

i am still hoping
for better days

mother of mine, crashing,
sea foam lady of veins and black-blue,

with the waters of healing and pain.

how is it that you bear the power to mend and rend?

some sort of demon is what you are...
a twisted form of lucifer.
that type of being that can nurture and attack all
at once.

and as if only you held the sky, you blame me.

when it is you who tosses and turns the unforgiving tides of your terrible sea.

i am a disguise, the haze on a dew-dressed morning, the tears on the faces of the brokenhearted

i am the moon in all its mysticism, the star out of place, the quiet before the release - that never came

my life is sitting on the edge of a cliff and waiting for someone to pull me away or push me over

my life is laying in bed, thinking at 4 am about why i am so alone, hopeless, and lost

i'm starting to think i'll always be this way

there must be a purpose: a curse or a hex, some devil put me here to suffer

i want love, i want happiness, i want to be more than just another lost boy


my life is sitting on the edge of a cliff
waiting
for the sun to die

you got those eyes from the gorgons themselves
big and begging
to be seen

the pools of coal abyss are your pupils and they form into
cerberus's frothy, unpure mouths

gnashing and howling until the
bloodletting roars
devour me

i feel like a shadow.
nothing more than a bleak, distorted reflection
of what is
and i am not

i feel like a shadow.
my love for you is false but unbroken
blind and unspoken
but i still take the pill everyday

i feel like a shadow.
and every day i pray to god
for completeness and think about
what sick monster
could yank at the chains of the lonely

i am a shadow.
maybe it's better that way

i hear the sounds of
banshee screams
like series of unruly
crime scenes.

they call to me,
and as if god
himself stabbed me,
i shatter.

but oh they call to me, and if i were to not listen,
i would be struck down by spears of novas.

so i tug on starlight,
and chant:

why is it that i can't
cross the cursed crossing ?

it is the silicon veil
dear god i am the shadow's blossoming

carry me home!
-your heart is too heavy of a stone

but home is where the heart is
and i am all alone

the ebb and tide of diamond waves slosh in the most serene celerity.
it is then that i know i am safe.

i lie in the ocean's arms,
and become a grain of sand,
until your song is sent my way
and i crystallize.

oh i am a pearl, born from pain.

your timbre plays melodies on my heartstrings, siren.
your beauty shadowboxes with my soul, siren.
i am not yours to keep, siren.
i am the tidecaller and i have a place.

but oh siren, why must you sing when i want to sleep?
why must you sing when i want to weep?
oh, siren, take my soul to keep.

no longer my sea.
sea of sirens, sea of song.
your song always lets me know that i mustn't tag along.

i have no idea how to feel free
my skin is a cage and my mind is a
whip around my throat

the pain is numbing, but i tell myself to love it anyway

everything is boring
and nothing is the same,

but this awful feeling of
a dead man living in my brain

i stood before the water,
and watched the dance of an elegant snake charmer.

his serpent moved like liquid emeralds.
he glared a ruby stare that made life ephemeral.

he craned his neck and hissed incantations into my ear,
oh how my heart could feel evil near

because now i take the lonely stride,
and know the devil thinks of me alone this time

i wish i could tell you i love you, but i can not.

the words are too heavy on my tongue
to utter such a
bone-dry lie.

i'm high on your tar-black darkness -
that sick cloud of evil;
deep, dark, and broken.

my sun-blood will swallow you whole, so i can not tell you
that i love you.

you must split my lip and lick the lie from
my dripping
red
gore,

then beg me
to **** you again.

Why does the sun
Bother to get up
When all his children
Can't stand the sight of him

born in a storm,
i was dying.
perhaps that's why my tears rain down-
no, that's just crying.

"but mom, i'm always trying!"
my soul's fighting for you,
so i can keep living life,
although i'm lying.

and all though no one's buying:
i promise,
i'm always trying.

my soul's fighting for you,
but i'm still dying.

So it's us against ourselves.
The mind is the adversary.
And what is that?
A mere dream within a dream.
What does forever mean?
Some hazy lines...
A blur of self,
A little talk,
Between you and me?

A heart lost in translation is in me, while forever is to be free of wonder.
Humans hungry for home and hopeful for hunger.
Life is one long plunder
For the lost ones of
Silent thunder.

Are these lost ones so lost?
Or will these sons of thunder
Flash like lightning?
How far do you have to go
Before no one understands at all?

As far as the fog found clouding the light that sits quiet in the souls of the stormborn.
The light that breaks the beaten barriers of sound and gives life to the lifeless.

That distant light called Hope by some;
A hope that may only protract disharmony.
A skillful prolongation
To the battered.
It is said that hurt is proof of love,
But what's left to prove
When the uncalmed storm
Engulfs us?

*By light I live, but by love I die.
Pray to every god that we are left in the eye.
The only proof we need is meaning, something bold to live by.
But we crave happiness, and there can only be one,
So what could anyone do but try and cry?

i reach out, fingers stretched and aching;
across galaxies, my bones are breaking.

i spill my spacial despair into the cosmos,
and pour my tears into Andromeda, and think "almost."

my binary star, a galaxy gushes past my lips.
when i reach you, i will know that our love has eclipsed.

this is an ending

i'm dancing to my swan song
in a room of unlit candles

restless shadows dance despite the
absence of hollowed light

i am so alone yet not
abandoned

my spirit is still
but my body is crying

for my aching heart that is
tired of dying

the californian ******* will keep me up
but i can't keep up with this bluff

oh i am drunk on your spirit
spiritdrunk, spiritdrunk, spiritdrunk

I dare not
look at god's scintillating
scorcher of an eye

only the bold would walk forward into hell

concrete callings
beckon to the place where
at least the prince knows

the blood is on your hands

fire take me now
no one could teach me to
see the devil for what he is

smoke wheels manifest from the
fog oozing from the
forsaken ground of
crying corpses

I am lost, I am lost
in the month of hollow hearts
if I close my eyes
I see the shard of heaven in your chest

don't dare look away
I have always killed for you

there are times when i watch you and think i'm watching a sunshower.
and i can't help but want to feel your every drizzle and ray against my skin.

do you know what it feels like
to be hot and cold?

your heart isn't true
can't see what's good for you

when all you feel is blue
and you feel like starting your life anew

feel the love brew
let it break through

the world will swallow you
and it won't even chew

I don't quite know where the lightswitch is, but I know that the dark is much more friendly.
    
      Sometimes I dance with a ribbon lacing my body, and it feels like the last day. The string gets tighter and tighter,

and I am cut into a million pieces, but it's so dark. So have I really fallen apart?

          In the dark, all sounds the same, and the whispers.  Yes, the whispers. They're hushed and urgent. Like water rushing into my lungs, they take root, and evaporate.

              I've been going up, up, up

and I still haven't see light.

dreadfully into the night, raking
clawing into the black infinity
being dragged away from
the world as you know it

a man of fire
kissing the limitations of faith while his lips
are still wet with lies

face turned and steady
we are alone

unyielding, undying
drifting, but fleeting
breathing, and bleeding

alone, but together

life isn't slowing down for you
you are a speck of dust in heaven's snowstorm

a bullet in a firefight

lost in the flames,
no one will remember
the man who was

swallowed by the sun

with every tear
i hold myself responsible

because a human that would jump off a cliff with no rope
deserves to feel the fall

The rapture is night.
As the stars align,
And tell stories of God's oncoming reign,
I decline.
The rapture is night.

The rapture is night,
And I speak with my feet, tapping, creating tremors in the souls of the dead.
Then my foreboding angel flapped her wings.

The devil sat outside my home,
Left his beauty's scent and stone,
Left me raked and raw,
The rapture is night.

When judgement came,
Hera held my hand
And whispered a secret into my ear,
that filled my cheeks with flame.

The rapture is night.

maybe you should hang it all up

sixteen years,
more than half unbearable to look at

a putrid punch to the soul...
somethings you can't let go

perhaps tomorrow will be kinder

is there anything that can **** darkness?
no light turns on

the fire is a butterfly,
its wings flap and
sparks fly

burn, burn

this world wasn't meant for you

smother the fire

some souls are just too tired

sea bruised and translucent -
you hold the world in your hands
and put it on display for me to see..

yet even you seem far away

i can still look...
still see the
airplanes rocket upwards
into a world
much kinder than mine

maybe i will join them one day

i reach out;
every light is a wish
for you and
it claws into my heart
and rakes it cleanly

like a daylight killer

dare I jump and
see how much I'm worth

dare I jump and
see how much I hurt

This isn't about you anymore.

          I'm starting to see a pattern. It's kind of like, staring at the tiled wall in the shower. You want to slip and fall, maybe break your head, but you can't seem to stop looking at the wall. The art.

             The faces and the places on the wall, they talk and breathe, and the more you see, the more you know. And the more you see, the more you want to know, but it all seems to stretch out into nothingness. Everything blurs together, and the more you know, you find you actually know nothing at all.

          That's where I'm coming from, I've always known where I was coming from, but I have never known where I was going. This isn't about you anymore. I've come to realize that my life is a lot like that wall. Winding and endless, like if Satan was a snake and he made a home around my neck. Coiled tight enough to make me see stars in your eyes, but loose enough to make my head pound with pain.

              So it's all about me, and I'm endless. I'm sad and I'm tired, and I have no answers, and I'm all alone. I know that I'll have to keep going, but I also know that I think I'm going to leave you behind. This isn't about you anymore. I'll take my heart back and leave it for someone more special - maybe my dog or my best friend, Carolina.

      I think they'll take better care of it, and I can focus on what really matters: living a life that doesn't involve drowning. Drowning in thoughts, drowning in tears, drowning in possibilities. I think I've had enough of that.

I think I can swim.

i am in love with the sky and his crown of ichor and heart of plenty.
i am taken by love with the every day shock.
it is to be in love, that you relish in his every heartbeat - many.
i am in that love that makes me perpetually walk.

he slings a spear of singularity,
i am to be noticed.
but he is in the sky of celerity,
and i am grounded.
i take the golden light all at once.
the sun will never set in my soul.

the heavens part and leave an abyss,
the longing for his static lashes makes my sun itch
for his crackling discharge of power. oh how i miss !
the arc and flow of his lightning whip.

i hold my sun to the sky.
its celestial light shall carry me high.
king of killers, teller of lies!
heed the angels' song of wry.
i am the storm, and this time i am also the eye.

it roars and
is born

a love so quick that it
isn't safe in its own misery

lust born from sheer attraction

like magnets we repel and
blood lightning weaves its way between us

crimson shocks galvanize me
but are numb to you

the thunder claps and
reverberates throughout my being

the lightning strikes and
you are gone