its always everything all at once
there's no break
no reprieve

so please express youself away from me

close your eyes and imagine me
lying next to you

my brain feels like a weight is slowly crunching me within
my outsides are getting louder
i can hear my heartbeat above the din

i'll temporarily make my home in your bed
i'll live inside your head

until we're both dead

I've had enough bad luck to last me forever
I've never gone outside and seen the sun shine
I've never come across a penny while walking down the street
I've never even seen a rabbit so I could cut off his feet
Rain clouds always covering my skies
And the drops, they keep getting in my eye
I've had enough bad luck to last me forever
But I can suffer through it all if you and I are together

Each day I tell myself I'm not pretty
I'm not smart, not special,
Maybe I shouldn't go on living
Each day is a battle and
I'm losing my footing
My defenses are weak and
My strength is ebbing

why can't I root for you from beneath the trees;
a bug like me doesn't deserve to be seen
by one like you.

in the same breathe
i tell myself i am better, and yet
there is no such thing as best

loneliness is a drug best taken in the company of others
when love is felt with numb hearts and laughter reaches the ears of the deaf
take it slow over the course of many days so as to not alert your sisters and brothers
until finally one day there's nothing left

So much to say
                        No will to say it

Trust me, you're better off
Without me
                         *Tainting ****…

I'm creating distance
Between us,

You don't know it's there,
But you can feel it--
The tension
Building it the air

Between us.

so might make a second account that's anon and just write the most foul **** in my mind there? is that better than posting it here-- not even up for debate actually my friends and s.o. read this **** from time to time so even though i'm pretty good at subtle imagery the most ****** up thoughts i have just can't be twisted into blooming flowers and ocean waves so.. you'll never know if its me or not but i'll definitely know if you find me.

you branded me
angry red marks soiling soft skin
my body now a cage to the wild soul within

and like a stallion, i love you more when i'm broken

There's something crucial missing
Something deep within my chest
I've been hollow and empty and broken
Ever since you ripped my heart from between my *******
I didn't see it coming
Though I should have seen the signs
I was blinded by my own hopes and dreams
Too naive; tossed to the side
I was a fool to believe you loved me
You're a lesson I wish I didn't have to learn
But control has long slipped through my fingers
I only wished it might have lasted longer -- Pretending was much easier than facing this cruel world

out there in the crisp winter cold
growing old are the couples too young to be told
love is dying

the sun does rise every morning,
just as it sets every night
the bad times have passed me by, and now
the sun ushers in the light

You fell in love with a girl and I'm wearing her skin
On the surface composed and inside broken

What happened to her smile?
She never seems to do that anymore
Not without faking and forcing it,
While her heart lies on the floor..

****** and broken

She use to be the happy one,
Always up for a laugh,
Now she's the depressed one,
Thoughts of suicide run through her head

Broken and ******

People see her walking alone,
But they don't wave to her anymore
They hide their faces behind their books
Afraid of her tears, her hurt, her sorrow..

Blue to red

She hates all the scars, the bruises, the tear stained cheeks
She always has and always will
Her hobbies include cutting open her wrists
In front of her broken mirror..

Red to blue

She doesn't see them working on her,
Just a darkness pressing in
They're trying so hard to bring her back,
Mais il est trop ****, c'est la fin

Light to dark

Her mothers crying, school was cancelled
There are people sobbing everywhere
They never worried, didn't see it coming,
Could have done more to show they care..

Dark to light

"There's 70% chance that she won't wake up
And if she does, she probably won't remember a thing"
This mans voice sounds very far off,
But she can hear someone close by singing..

New and old

Her hand is warm but her name is still lost
Someone's breathing is felt close by
"I miss you, please come back to us..
I promise this time I'll try!"

Old and new

She knows this voice, if not anything else
She clenches her hand around the warmth
I'm coming The girl thinks to herself,
*Have patience, I won't be long..

buzzing with aggression
rigid with tension

i must keep it in

I don't think I'd ever do it
But lately, with you, I might
Which is a lot more than ever before,
When I still thought it wasn't right..

I don't think I'd ever do it
But right now, I kind of want to let it in
Feel the pressure of something else,
Something not you, pressing against my skin..

I don't think I'd ever do it
But the opportunity to do so is in my reach
It's a just step to the right, an open drawer away
To finally find some release..

I don't think I'd ever do it
But lately, with you, I might
I've thought about doing it before too,
Maybe just once or twice..



I don't believe I'd ever do it
Because I don't want you to know
I can't let you see this side of my mind
*The one I'm too afraid to show..

it's when the hour's late
and my thoughts become hazy
my resolve, it breaks
and my promise stays empty

If you always do what you've always done
you'll always get what you've always gotten

its those cutesy rhymes
always in time
to shred my shriveled soul

all those pretty words
left unheard
may as well rake me through the coals

My poetry is called one of two things,
Cliche or morbid

I have no idea if either of those are good or bad,
So why can't people just say
Yes or no
Instead?

love isn't sentient and knows not the time
love is pure emotion, raw and divine
so take your clockwork else where
as love has no time to spare --
who would watch hands go round
when an entire world is out there?
love isn't something you count down from
no, love is a long hug and a smile
so take your clockwork else where
and fall in love for a while.

this life is fleeting,
this is know
life is short
and goes by slow
in the moments when
your life's at stake
it's shorter still,
make no mistake
so cherish each breathe,
take it all in
feel every moment,
every smile, every kiss
because no matter how careful,
no matter how good
everyone is the same
in that anything could..

I am what I am,
**But I can hide it

i want him like i want the sun; mornings are better when i wake up with him.