As thousand of dreams died
So did those who were the makers of them
They wanted to go to a new home
But they'd never reach the other side
The Ship of Dreams
Ended up becoming a nightmare
She was Unsinkable
Yet it took only two hours and twenty minutes for her to go down

s ilent voices
u nderneath my skin
i n a dark world it
c aptures the weak
i t takes us away
d rowns our bones
e nding our nightmare

1.  I just couldn't stop myself from falling and suddenly realized, I didn't want to.

2. Thank you for making my time feel worth something.

3. This is the third time I've wrote this and it still doesn't explain much...I'm sorry.

4. I haven't slept for two weeks because of you and I hope you still think I'm cute with these bags under my eyes.

5. All the ***** couldn't drown my love for you and never once did it make me forget your name; only my own.

6. There are over one million thoughts going through my head everyday, and I still haven't mastered the art of putting them on paper but maybe one part of this will mean something.

7. It's hard for me to explain what's going through my head right now...but I've thinking about you all night.

8. I just had to say this before it was too late but hell, I'm barely on time for class each day.

9. I wanted to wait for the perfect time, but that wait would last forever.

10. I don't know how to be alone and I hoped someday that you'd fill in the empty space in my bed.

11. My hands are shaking and I don't know if I am scared, nervous or anxious; but I know this time I won't chicken out.

12. I just had to get this weight off my chest and god, I almost forgot what it was like to really breathe.

13. I am tired of being afraid.

When I yelled "No"
You tightened your grip on my throat,
and whispered *"You know you want it"

It's been a year since I had a drink,
but three months since I had a cigarette

Each day I feel myself slowly fading away,
and I am scared I'll end up slipping back into my old ways.

The panic attacks at night come back,
and all I need is a way to rant.

I turn the music on full volume,
because I need something louder than the voices in my head.

I stare at my bedroom walls till past 2a.m on a school night,
I blame insomnia, but my mind is the reason why.

I can't stop myself from thinking back to when I actually slept at night,
and when my hands didn't shake all day long,

I feel like I am just a pair of eyes,
watching as the world goes by.

I am just a bystander,
while everyone keeps moving.

I started to feel nothing again,
letting things go on while I stood still.

Possible sweet childhood memories,
filled with fear of the night.
Children are supposed to fear a fake monster,
not a real one.

This monster didn't hide under the bed,
and he wasn't just in my head.
He was bruises on my legs,
and a ripped up nightgown.

He was an unwanted presence,
and he was more than a nightmare.

I still feel like a child,
scared of a memory that does not fade with age.
I still can't go a night without worrying,
that the monster will return.

I gave up writing
I no longer want to be a part of this place
Self hate is part of my nature
Dying would make me too happy
I want to feel pain
In the most ****** way

Bags under my eyes are now a permanent part of me
Shaking hands won't still
Voices in my mind won't silence
Sad cliches won't stop becoming true
I love a liar and welcome the pain it brings
I am not worth a single thing.

I am alone inside my head,
while I have a cheater in my bed.
My life is a sad song playing on repeat
Because I wallow in any emotion I feel.

"It was in the past"
"Everyone who survived is now dead"*

Yet she still sits at the bottom of the ocean,
A once great, beautiful ship.
Now split in two.
Her once stark white body,
Still rusting and rotting.
Her passengers once full of life,
Now full of the icy water that took their lives.
The ship that was unsinkable,
Sunk

"It's too early to be in love", They said.
But since when did love have a limit,
When was it decided that you had to spend a certain length of time with someone,
Before you could love them?

Why do I have to be with someone for months before I can say I love them?
Why do I have to be with someone for months before I am allowed to stay up late at night thinking about them?

I said I loved you from day one.
I flat out told you I was falling in love with you.
I lost sleep over you before we were even together.

Love has no time limit.
Love is how you feel.
Love is not limited to a number of months.
Love is limitless.

Some days I long to be held,
and others the thought of someone even shaking my hand makes me cringe
I still can feel hands on my throat
and the touch of an unwanted, wandering hand.

Years have gone by,
Yet the ghostly haunting of your lips on mine will not fade.
But hell, I "wanted it anyway"
I wonder how in the hell you looked into my sobbing eyes,
and decided that turned you on.

But it was my fault for wearing shorts instead of pants,
despite the 93 degree mid-July heat.

After you were done
You held me and asked for me to call you back.
You left me crying by the road side,
With my hair in knots and dirt on my new white shirt
Hours passed as I tried to walk yet couldn't because my whole body felt numb,

My best friend laughed, "nice hickies on your neck"
I cringed inside and had to lie,
hoping no one would ever know those hickies where the bruises you left when I tried to scream.

It's been ten months since the last time we talked,
         And I sit here wondering why I still give a ****.
I know that you never cared,
         And I'm stupid to think you ever did.

I don't blame you for letting me down,
It's my fault for getting my hopes up.

I don't blame you for letting me go,
It's my fault for never being able to.

I stand in shower,
rubbing at my skin trying to rid myself of your touch.
If I could,
I'd shed my skin all together.

It's been years and I can still remember the fear in my heart when I woke up
You took my sleeping as silent consent
Even though I was only 9.

I thought for so long that it was my fault.
I fear every man I meet,
I worry that he'll be just like you.

I still have nights where I worry that
You'll wake me up again.

I feel so used
So worthless,
and you ruined by life.

I stopped caring about my body,
I let others use me,
I let others treat me like trash
Because I felt like I was.

I stopped eating
and started to hurt myself in order to feel.

I still hate my body
and I still remember what places you touched
Where the bruises were.

You Ruined My Life

Do NOT tell someone who is upset about Zayn leaving One Direction that they need to "Calm down", or "Get over it"
Everyone is entitled to be upset over anything they want, and this is one of them.
Five years of five guys being together, and whether or not you liked them since day one, or you started liking them a day ago,
You have the right to be sad about this.
Imagine your favorite band member leaving the band they were in.
No more posters with them on it,
No more shirts,
No more award shows,
No more ZaynMalik1D on twitter.
Let us be sad.