Disappointment is thrown strongly at my direction.
Blame gathers in large quantities like a pest infestation.
"It's your fault" and words like "You always make mistakes" evoke anger.
Anger which I want to take out on myself and take out on others.
I can excel in my work of choice, I know I'm more than average.
The bad gets pointed out more and little praise is given for the good.
Stunned by unmoving words. I'm like a prisoner sentenced to jail, released and expected to do worse.
Destruction emerges from my enraged emotions, i wish your words could offer a solution.
I want to be an alchemist and turn things into gold.
It's ironic how I am a creator of words but cant create better words in my critics.
Conversations lead to arguments because i want to be heard.
I'm sick of revolving doors, sick of being slammed by your atrocious comments.
"You have no common sense" you say to me, maybe I just prefer to be in a daydream, my mind drifting away because life is too dull.
Realize that what you say has an effect and that effect can drive somebody or stop them in motion.

My pen is a wand. It can write a curse or a powerful charm. My pen is a mirror. It can show you a monster or a beautiful figure. My pen is a key. It can free you from a trapped door or it can lock you inside that door until the oxgen runs out and you can't breath. My pen is a weapon.  It will fight righteous battles or make a gruesome dissection. My pen is a balancing scale.
It is a balancing scale because it tilts when the yin & yang of my being begins to out weight one other.
Nothing is safe from my pen if i choose it not to be, my pen writes freely without filters or censorship.
My pen is a ship in the sea unable to maintain equilibrium set on a course to land. One day it will stay still, but on that day my pen will run out of ink.

The band starts playing at a ***** and crowded backyard.
Rebellious youth gather to cast their vote with the stomping of their doc martin boots.
Beer cans everywhere, everyone's trying to let loose the raw stranglehold their society has produced.
The guitars go off and the ritual begins.
First they assemble in the heart of the pit.
In the center individual tragedies bring fourth the wrath of a God's army.
Anarchy you call it, Ha! I call it reassurance, reassurance that this anger is surely communal.

I never saw it more clearer, the youth's power to resist: If the government wont hear us, we will create our own sound even under the batons of fascism, we spit on your rule, your control of our art.

We wont bow down to a law with our names written all over it, while another politician walks free from corruption.
While another officer guns down an un armed child and calls it self-defense.
While suspicious mass shootings continue to occur and mass cameras grow in recording.
While you send more people off to war for another countries resources.
These thoughts explode out of me into shoves, screams, ****** cuts, reckless behavior, and then finally release. Pure psychiatric release.

The power I get from your personality.
You're a lion, a natural born leader.
King of the jungle, in this barren valley you give me hope.
Hope in a savior, in a presence so uniquely rare and strong.
I want to be like you, I want your charisma.
You make everyone seem so simple.
Far above average, your capable of emancipating glory.
A righteous and kind soul.
Your energy spreads through the beastly sinners and compels their spirit to change into something beautiful.

The wait is an eternity like a mailed message.  
The excitement of opening you up and reading every little text.  
Your darkened ink hair dripping on my hands and I love the way you leave a flowered scent on them.
I play my favorite songs and I think of you.
The similarities we share lets me know the world is not vacant of awakened people.
I keep you in mind.
I keep you in mind when I scroll past one of your social media quotes and Like it.
You deserve my love, my unconditional love, my wild and passionate love, my fighting love.
I'm a clumsy mess, a reckless greasy rocker, a psychedelic wanderer but I'd gladly give you my best.
Dance with me on top of rooftops, in drunken heavenly ecstasy.
Playing music and looking into your eyes, you would read my soul and I would read yours and you would never ever feel alone again.
Breath me in, inhale deep, get high of me, smile, laugh, your my source of beauty.
Truth be told I don't want perfection, it's boring, I want you.
I want you with me when the apocalypse strikes.
I want you in the morning and in the night.
I want your angry tantrums because I know Life
And I want to heal you when you have them.
Athena, Otherworldly Goddess, Femenista, Mujer Guerillera, Gaia of Earth, I am your poet and you this poem.*  
** - your secret admirer

She arrived mysteriously when the clock struck midnight on my dark rooftop. I turned and only her eyes glowed, they were inviting. I felt a seductive curiosity that compelled me to move towards her. The moonlight exposed her beautiful curse. She had black long hair like a black cats fur, red lips like they had been soaked in blood, and pale skin like that of a person who had seen a ghost. She said, "My name is Callidora, I will grant you immortality in exchange for your soul.” I shook in fear but her eyes said she could show me the world, what I desired the most. So I let her kiss me and lean toward my neck and bite me. We were flying in the cold dead air, taken from the living into something rare. My flaming soul in her heart now, my body reborn by her ****** saving kiss. She granted me the true gift of eternal life, a second chance that came at a price. I let her **** me for love because I wanted eternity with her.

Skeleton bones in the closet, no, not I, I got live bodies locked in chains. In the spirit of Halloween, I'll wear a hockey mask and be that obsessed killer. Teenage kicks, listen close for the screams. ****** from neglect, ****** because of reject, ****** brought on by me always feeling depressed. You called me names, you tortured my spirit, you ****** me like the idols you worship. I've worsen since i started feeding on your hate. This is my manifesto. Are you scared? You should be. Because I won't take the ranting rambling bigotry you speak. This will be something straight out of a horror scene. The plot thickens, foreshadow what's next. If you think this story is fiction well it's not because we live in a cold world and I'm only giving you a description, a depiction of what words can do, I use mine for assistance, I learned to listen, I hope you do too, because you can create a monster with the powerful words you decide to use.

Tender touching on creamy silky skin.
Hearts pounding like jackhammers.
Sweat dripping, warm rain.
Sheets melting.
70,80,90,100 degrees celsius!!!
Pulses rising,voices rising, music rising.
White rose moving down your spine tingling your sensitive senses.
Oh how you sing my name, I hope this song never ends.
Loss of air, loss of sense of self, two bodies in one.
Rose pedals broken under two lovers forms.
Waking up in a rose garden to the sound of your voice.

So numb I feel like chewed up gum.
Turning into the black blown out smoke from my lungs. Reduced life span, who knows when it could be done. So how much do you value life ? Will you leave the city's cage and go on the run, chasing the sunset, drunk of ***, in search of love. Some choose money as the total sum of success. It is too easy of a hunt. I'm embarking on an expedition to uncover the mystery of total freedom. To put it bluntly, I will never slow down like a slug. You can't hold me down until I've found my treasure hidden somewhere on this globe. One day i'll disappear and become unknown. Because birds leave the nest and my turn is next.

A Red Ruby, if placed upon the chest, can melt through your rib cage and engulf your entire body with flames.
It's delicate appearance of a heart was purposely constructed that way, in order to desire with a fierce blaze.
Red Rubies were made to crystallize your eyes and make every single sensual thought behind them harden until they crack and find its way into your blood stream and into your love making.
Red Rubies are a euphoric gemstone stimulating your need to love and give into the desirable.

Ultra Violet magnetic field of high voltage adrenaline showers the streets like speeding sports cars.
It's a rare occurrence of unregulated foreign madness.
I felt my inner chambers open and through them I explored my city in a new fashion.
Pulsating skies and electronica vibes.
Golden halos fall all around and the people, all friendly faces, liberated from their steel rooms.
I can hear the cries in the air.
A step closer, a heart willing to beat louder. A flower courageous enough to grow within the industrial tombs of the living dead. A divine light is what is lighting their way out of miserable decay.
- C.Ek

The two felt a chemical attraction.
Serotonin leaked onto his uncovered skin.
He couldn't speak, his tongue dried, dehydrated by her heat.
**** those eyes were like Kryptonite, He had pride in himself for being a statue.
Smooth as a razor blade he came out of that conversation dull.
The wrong impression was given since he had handed her rotten flowers.
Give me a second to recollect my thoughts and bring them back from the stunned blackout, wow, you are such a powerful knockout.
I'm fixing my posture and choosing my words right.
Our symbols are well matched and I'm not talking astrology, I'm talking chemistry.
Two different colors mixed together makes her blush and makes me crush.

Hell no, you don't want to be compared to one of those models idolized in magazines.
True beauty lies outside the fashion industry’s visual constructions.
Fall in love with what you never expected to love, imperfection.
Brand-less self expression.
There are no cameras or flashing lights there
or visual effects.
We come in different range of sizes.
Shame on shallow marketing.
A pretty face can have nasty vices.
Hearts of Gold, now those aren't sold.
- C.Ek

Fights break out within every person.
Everyone has a battle they need to win.
Overcoming trials and tribulations;
It is hard to lose a loved one or to get rid of a traumatizing memory.
Some are running, some have stood their ground and some have lost their way.
I remember this when I smile, I remember this when I bring joy into people's day or inspire them to try something new and tell them to stay positive.
Because I've been there too.
And I don't want you to fight this battle alone like I did.
Until she came along and saved me with a smile and began to believe in me.

Surround yourself with positivity. Appreciate the sunrise.
Take care of Mother Earth because she provides you with the fruits of life.
Be humble with what you have because there are others out there less fortunate.
And when you breath take it in like its the last one, release those worries away.
Be brave, step out of the cave and love
And laugh, think, cry
And laugh, think, cry.
Now isn't that a full day.

Some might say I'm too passionate and that I only speak the language of poetry.
There is a spirit animal who appears to me and the primordial instincts it values turns on inside of  me.
They ask me why I close my eyes when the music begins to play but they don't understand how I completely dive myself into the music.
I fall in love with the simplicity life has to offer and with the complexities I can't explain.
Am I a victim ? because I want more than the normal or am I the one who is still waiting for those animalistic passions to pierce through to my soul.
- C.Ek

My throat blows out fire.
You can't stop this sun burning in my lungs.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel.
A dragon lurking through the shadows.
Enter the unknown and i will funnel magma into your cold lifeless body.
OH NO! my little fireflies! they want to capture you in a bottle!
But the blood of the dragon in you melts the glass that held you.
We have become the mythical creatures they thought only existed in their imagination.
And now the power we've withheld for so long has got them running.
Running into the silent caves, waiting to be saved.
They fear what they not know.
I will not apologize for spreading my wildfire and you shouldn't either.

Caramel skin that got painted on by the needle.  
You are inked from head to toe.
Art done to you by different hands, they must have felt privileged to touch such a tender canvas.
Like the butterfly on your stomach, you have transformed, tattoo metamorphosis.
Pain, the sting of the honeybee.
Bearing the ****** even though you bleed.
Written on the flesh, drawn upon the flesh, a story of who you are eternally expressed.
I want to read your body and understand each chapter.
Tattoos and piercings modify your outer appearance, exactly how you want it to be.

Why did you have to leave me with one unforgettable night?
Like a flicker of lightning that flashed the night sky.  
A kiss landed on me like a butterfly, momentarily, then fluttered into the distance.
We wrote short stories on sidewalks towards an unknown destination.
A book I barely got to start.
You said you thrilled on adventures, you told me you had seen places that had blown your mind away and yet you were here with me.
Was I capable of the same ability, if even for an instant ?

I find myself looking for you in other people.
Whether it is in the way they think or the way they appear, I see straight through them to you.
I find you in places I thought I could be alone.
Where once I could go to this view to clear my head, now only causes me distress.
I remember sitting on the beach once and your eyes washed upon the shore line.
I am waiting to go home into your arms.
I need you so much, that another person's touch, practically causes any feeling of attraction.
You held the power to make me smile when no one else could.
And I don't think I'll find satisfaction until someone else can capture my attention.
- Christian Ek

There was no way I could make her happy. The only sympathy I could offer her was my shoulder.
A place where her black tears could dry on my collared shirt.
How could I numb her pain.
I couldn't tell her "this is not the right place" or "people are looking."
Feelings aren't meant to be bottled up inside I figured but relinquished like the make up leaking down on her cheek.
At that moment I had the privilege of witnessing the uncovered human in her.

Your a jaw breaker candy because you dropped my jaw.
My head spinned back like an owl as you circled me.
Long nails tingling down my spine.
A voice that could ****** any wild animal into submission.
Her body heat made me sweat.
Her intimidating attitude was ****.
Her reading glasses foggy.
Her coffee breath wasn't off putting but rather enticing.
She was a blue moon and i was howling for her, I was bound by her power.

Give me half of what you love.
What you let yourself be devoured by.
Spanish romance, drunken cantinas, Men cry.
Persuade the un-driven only through sacrifice.
The Vices the heart speaks are your impulsive desires.
Light my fire, Light my ******* fire because it's in dire need of an aspire.
By Christian Ek

On a vehicle bed I voyage, wearing
headphones which lead the way.
Repelling neighbors screams, these jolting sounds travel through my body, breaking locks and knots.
Unraveling the fabric across time and space.
Is there anybody out there that feels the music flow sensitively ?
I enter myself more deeply, I lose myself to the voices and words of chemistry.
I lay in ecstasy frequencies.
Becoming one with musical melodies.

And it's as if there's zero gravity when I'm with you.
Pushing boundaries,the laws of nature doesn't have a hold on us.
We float over the rushing crowd of average humans.
I know its rare to find others who's wings haven't been clipped.
Someone who can uplift your spirit instead of holding your wings down causing them to slowly rip.
In Lost Angels, I found an Angel.

The promises you have avoided every new year, make them a reality this time around. Its a fresh start, wiping clean the grime off the window.
Procrastination is out that window.
Priorities have entered, therefore, I must accomplish what I've been putting off for so long. A friend told me each person is destined for greatness and each year i want to remind myself of that saying. If your trying to reach above the clouds there is no looking down. Cruising through the city, rocking and a rolling completely satisfied with knowing where i am going, that's going to happen NOW.
I want to be able to breath and smile every day without a worry. These are the best years of my life and I want to keep that going.

You think you know what it's like to give up your heart completely?
To drink your heart break into a shattered glass with your blood & tears?
I blamed myself, I didn't think I was good enough, I was hateful of myself.
**** me, *******, **** everything.
Tears dripping on my pillow like a broken dream.
****, I fought people thinking that it would fix my pain.
Knuckles feigning to fight.
All the times I texted, called, voice mailed, and messaged and nothing.
You don't know pain.
You don't know Johnny Cash "hurt".
The past haunts me like a ghost and it won't let go.

It will no longer be a cycle, you going back to him and me coming back to you.
The chances I gave you were plenty, you’ve drained the last one.
You’ve done everything I told you, you were. You’ve dug your grave and I’m not going with you.
I’m not your stepping stone, your therapist, or the bounce back for your self-esteem.
I wont go back into a tug of war for you, it's worthless now.
Since in return I get only blisters and not some healing hands.
There is someone waiting for me, waiting to receive what you couldn’t see.
and if you come crawling back; I will not let you splinter me again.

I declare rebellious action upon the evils in authority.
Strength in my voice rises like the fist I lift up in the air.
Taking a stand against the machine!
Your democracy is bomb first ask questions later.
I got the right to protest if my government becomes a failure.
If continuing poverty is progress then you must be rich.
In a country historically rooted in corruption maybe its time we change history for the better.

Sticking my head out the window I feel the racing wind pass through my hair like wild horses.
I feel infinite and unstoppable
For the first time in a million years I can smile and truly mean it.
I am not forcing adventures but I'm letting them flow. A natural high.
I'm here, present like the Earth is present within the larger universe, I know I matter.
And as my brothers laugh with me, I never realized how good it felt to laugh.
I've been missing out on my happiness.
I haven't been loving myself but now I embrace myself with open arms and with an aura around me that is contagious.

The infinite movement of the universe expanding.
Time, the guiding phoenix.
Is it circular? Is it linear ?
Why is time endless but yet can vanish in an instance ?
Time, you hurry me with your impatience.
Why do we waste you time without caution in mind.
Will I continue to live once my time runs out?
Am I living right now?
Give me more Time.

The blue waves full of life carried me into the sky. Washed sins purified. Creativity omnipresent, burst within me into a thousand sparkling crystals.  Freedom arose as i flowed within all. A moving cloud collects every piece and forms a drop of holy water.
Now I fall, in the sea of love.
The sun shines down on me revealing the once hidden colors of my aura. Brightening the horizon to its most beautiful extent. Darkness will never again torment. The heaven created in my name. Swimming with the dreams and wishes I claim.  Infinite enlargement of the heart. An art that represents my utopia. I shared a vision with an artist, who related with my soul but took the drawing role.
- Christian Ek

I ask you to show me art.
Tear the normal apart.
Weary first impressions, I want to see you fall apart.
Smeared make-up like smeared paint on the artist hand.
Let’s save time and truly start.
I have notebooks full of holes.
Little do we know until one shows.
Their insides spilling out insights.
Spark an incent, in a instance, the smoke clears the tense and suspense out of a safe room where your nature can be exposed.
A cup containing wine acts like a truth serum.
Songs meaning equal same rhythms.
Candle light dancing paradigm.
Here we will meet on the same page.

Craters on the moon are injuries caused by the power the universe holds.
In the night you continue to shine down on us lonely strangers.
The saying "the freaks come out at night " best describes our relationship.
Your the light we admire.
Your the source of our creativity.
When I can't sleep, looking at you for inspiration is my favorite activity.
The relief I feel knowing someone out there is doing the same calms my overdrived mind.
I want to be brave like the moon, undiscouraged even though it's surrounded by darkness.
Still being able to shine it's guiding light.

This is classico amor, un amor con mucho valor.
Como tequila y limón, este amor tiene un poderoso sabor.
Baby you make me feel passionate like listening to a Vicente Fernandez song and you feel it hit you in your Core.
Everyday is Valentine's s Day when I'm with you.
Everyday I appreciate you.
You know how much I love to sing to you, how much I like to express how I feel through music and poetry.
Princesa, yo soy tu Guerrero De Amor, el único que sabe como quererte fuerte y suavecito.

I want you to look through my infinite playlist and see your eyes light up by my music.
We could spend a night talking about spirituality through the arts of shamanistic practices or criticize american politics.
Or we could lay down quietly side by side and hear our lungs inhale oxygen.
You don't get the same reactions at a bar or club. While the rest seek to hide the self, I seek to free it.
I am daring you to bring out your true self into the light and without any filters.
I am challenging your insecurity, to release the prisoner hiding behind solid bones, get me deep into your core and put away your sharp teeth.
Your with me, where you can feel free.

The ax chips away at the skin of the wood
The moldy parts that are no longer good.
(Useless)
If the wood should keep me warm throughout the winter nights, I need it to be of the best quality.
As I do my dance around the fire and chant empowerment into my limited being.
I am blessed with the removal of obstacles.
Dead weight that I had carried.
(Renewal)
I can dance for myself, I can travel through time on my own and I can burn like the strong fire before me.

We exist in difficult times.
When we have to choose between Them or They but we can't choose Us, this is a forced vote.
Our Nation and Government divided.
The media incredibly controlling.
We've let our thinking be shaped.
******* the sun because of a Hillary mountain.
We can not find love in politics.
Only hate and war.
Please look within your heart and soul.
This is a struggle for a new civil rights movement and a fair and equal government.
We are making America hate again, even though we know this country was also build by immigrants.

A true friend will text you to see if you got home safe.

Notice when your upset or are bothered.

Will make time and see you when it feels like it's been a long wait.

Be honest and get on your case
Better you.
Believe in you.
Wont give up on you.
Love you.

I question our friendship because I have seen these qualities disappear.  

Our texts set the example of what we have become, a " hello"and "how you been ?" relationship and I think our friendship might be at stake.

I don't want us to end it but you have to show me that you want us to survive.

The dance floor burned bright red when you stepped on it.
I could feel the heat a mile away.
Our eyes met in between the other dancers.
She moved with every song in perfect sync.
The freedom in her steps were clear.
Our hands reached for the sky as the clock stopped and our lives became eternal.
It feels good to be alive and with people who came out to do the same.
Butterflies coming out of their cocoons, celebrating under a new blue moon.
Wish I was a more confident romeo or I would have been dancing next to you.

At the velocity in which I'm moving it's hard to capture an image of me.
I have purple dreams, yours are green.
I don't pit stop, I don't need a break when money is the key to breaking free.  
But don't ever question my motifs, your only seeing one side of me.
So it's hard to find the right person who can sit in my passenger seat, so I drive pass her, because I am in need of someone who can catch up to my speed, indeed, one who understands loyalty, my artistic need and open-minded philosophy.
I am grounded currently but I'm trying to travel globally.
Unfortunately, we all have to go through the pursuit of happiness, meaning there isn't any security that you will reach your destiny.  
Will I receive someone who can be my gasoline ? 
Who do you have to lean on, when the bills stack up constantly ?
I'm breaking my back so I don't have to go back to the start of the track. Yes it is a race to the finish.
There's no way you can win it, when your team can't envision the same vision of being crowned first position.

Soy yo amor mío,
Quien golpea la puerta de tu corazón.
Deja me entrar,
Y te prometo que conmigo estarás feliz.
Una pasión bien fuerte quemándose como fuego,
Tú eres la razón.
Soy la solución a tu tristeza.
Al contrario, solo mírate reír.
Ríndete, no existe la palabra lastimar, solo amor,
Con todo lo bueno que soy.
Vine a curar y vivir en tu alma.
Soy el ultimo pedazo de tu rompe cabeza, lo que usted necesitaba.
Eres el aire que respiro, lo que me ase vivir.
Tú, Como un sueño real que quiero cumplir.
Te voy a ensenar lo que es amor y borrar tu dolor.
Las personas amables se merecen lo mejor.
Contigo, pudiéramos hacer lo todo.
En la escurrida, eres el brillante foco.
Al fin este deseo se hizo verdad.

In the secret alley of Culver City, i saw a painting of my Mexican American culture being celebrated.
The lights in the secret city sparkled like champagne bubbles.
Flowing with the city's energy our legs carried us around "No Trespassers Allowed" private properties.
I imagined a life were we could walk the streets and not feel paranoid by each car that passed.
The ideal fast food American City where there's bars and restaurants on every corner.
The alley took me into hyperreality, for what is real for me might be false for others and vice versa.

I love to make someones day.
Let loose! Let loose! I say.
Choosing inspirational words i can make the stress go away.
Tonight is your night, the drinks I will pay.
Dress up in our finest clothes, kings and queens toast like a parade.
There is a party and everyone is going in the city of L.A.
A brother asked me "show me your best dance move" and I said okay.
And like an energetic crescent moon I changed the tidal waves with one move.
Just for you.
Because the good times roll when everyone can celebrate and no one hates.

The winds of change came.
She guided me through fierce storms.
Now the sun rises.

You were the last blow to seal me in this coffin.
A nightmare i never woke up from.
You were poison disguised as a sugary treat.
I can still taste your cherry chap stick but not the venom.
You stole my heart and I want it back.
I can't rest in peace until i have what was once mine, my peace of mind.
You commanded and I submitted thinking I had found the one, but the joke was on me when I finally saw the beast that ate my soul.
-C.EK

There is love and there is hate
And there is pleasure and there is pain.
I'am driven by both.
Both the axe doing the chopping and the tree doing the growing.
A split personality.
A lover, not a fighter but a fighter for love.
Alone in a world full of others feeling alone too.
When will all these contradictions come to a compromise?
The day you realize you can't control everything in life but you can pick and choose what has more control over you.

The times are a changing and with it people change too. There was this cosmic tool handed down to me and I am obliged to use it. The ancient’s voice their opinion through my being, I simply add the eyes that see the New Age approaching. The Old Trees and the land is shrinking and their cries fill my eyes with tears. The ghostly natives whisper wisdom in my nightmares of apocalypse. Their heart is the heart of Gaia and Gaia’s heart is having an attack. The blood of man has spilled for too long and I don’t want to use that as my ink. New face of war, technological war, info war, consciousness war.  
It’s up to the artist now to open the third eye. Whatever that Art maybe I hope its an Art that leads to peaceful freedom and if it doesn’t, it is the Art of death.  Battle of light & Dark.
The light in you will spark the light in others.

Let me show you what it's like to be me.
Step inside my wrinkled, falling apart working shoes.
Do you know what it's like to wear your beliefs on a pin, "**** The System".
Or wear a shirt with the logo "Brown Pride."
I who dresses for himself.
I who learns from every one and every book.
Opening the doors for you in each chapter and then closing them once you've read too much.
Now do you get me ? Or have you just been thinking of yourself lately ?

Have you ever loved so hard, you felt a pain in your chest ?
Or were left with dried tears ?
Did you torture yourself at night wondering if they were doing the same?
What do you do when days feel like months and months feel like years?
Food starts tasting bland indicating nothing else matters.
I wanted to close the blinds during my blindness love.
Permenantly destroying our memories together and forgetting you existed
Love is a drug, it will feel like ecstasy and then you turn into a fein.
Hoping you get another fix from those sweet tender lips.