and she emerges, her wings
taking shape into the spring of youth
a crimson butterfly painting with her blood
against your words of expectation.
she is
                 beautiful,       free.
deciding against the whims of men
so intent on criticizing her very nature.

and she becomes the sun, burning brightly with her blade.

Family values, disintegrate with every sip you take,
With every lie, with every accusation you make,
You want me to die, so take me out,
Remove me from your lineage, I'll be free of doubt,
Growing up with no direction, no where to go,
So you drag me down deep, you drag me so low,
How can you love me and hate me the same,
You keep me around to have a place to project the blame,
An innocent child, grew up way too fast,
Always running from and fearing what's in my past,
I long for the day that I'm strong enough to forgive,
For that is the day I finally start to live.

i haven’t written in forever
even though i know it lights up my soul

sometimes it just scares me to unleash the girl within these ribs and see that she’s dying to grow

i love the comfort and stability of having it the same

change scares me, no, it terrifies me
but no change is my middle name

but here i am writing these words onto paper

expressing myself
shining my light or whatever

diving deeper into my brain
breaking open my chest and allowing this woman inside me out

she’s here, and she has so many words to shout

His hands were in my hair one moment and around my neck the next
He is the epitome of complexity
He is the man I love the most in this world
He is...

Our relationship is complicated
He loves me and I know it
When I am sad, he will comfort me
When I cry, he wraps me in his arms and holds me tight, telling me everything is going to be okay
When I succeed, he cheers on the sidelines, his face filled with pride

But I have become accustomed to being a doll
A trophy
When he is not right, he is right anyways
When he is angry, there is always someone else on the receiving end
There is always another to be blamed

Until now, I never knew I could be right
I didn’t know the freedom I could have
I didn’t know that there were guys who could be patient, would let me have an opinion, would let me be me instead of a trophy
I didn't know I was a person

My own entity

born in illusory chains
gnarled metal
encrusted in my broken skin
the copper colored dust
of rusted steel
infectiously envelopes

shaving off antiquated layers
of fundamentalist religion
encrusted for generations
unpeeled until raw
an unsophisticated method
unveiling
ancient lodged glass shards
colored with deceit

brought before their court
interrogated
unfathomably skewered
an eerie salem witch trial
in modern times

barbarically they shun me
banished
i wander aimlessly
smelling the rotten decay of deceased community
as splinters pierce my feet
from the crooked wooden plank
i walk alone now

an unfathomable inner ache
kindled a residue within
igniting a wildfire from the darkest shadows
uncontainably erupting
i dance savagely
naked in the orange moonlight
and in every shaded edge
lit my soul ablaze

i am a nomad sheep
‘tho not one of their color
no pasture to contain me
no shepherd i can follow
theological safety nets
no longer there to catch me
bohemian-like
i plunge

free falling
plummeting
stripped wide open
magically
fearlessness
reverses gravitation

floating
untethered
i soar amongst
apricot tinged clouds
my skin still wet from rebirth
and rise with the flaming coral sun

you cannot destroy me
i twisted in your decrepit pencil sharpener
and with fresh mettle
cut through the chains that bound

you can have my ego
but you cannot have my soul

dismantling domestication
transcending limitation
wildly untamed
i fly

©2016janetaylor

i am a passenger
free to roam on the east sides
of redundancy and table manners

flower markets thrive on dawn skies
arranged as tourist spots
the baker's fair selling eggshells
cracked on cobblestone soup
meatpies sold out too soon
appleseeds scattered for birds

i sweep them all up
and see patterns grow on my skin

let it not be said i did not try, i did not do
for too soon the the heat covers the shade as well
and not even the acacia can go without thirst

fill my cup with honeydew milk
and add bittergourd and salt

i can let philistine warriors come from the backroads
and enter the frontlines
if only to join you

how beautiful
it is to be alone,
on my own,
for i am
complete, wonderful
and without a need
to be loved
by anyone else
because this Light
remains real
especially without you
and your attention;
this is not bitterness,
old friend, it is grattitude
for leaving
and letting go
has been more than
I would have ever planned,
so, let the winds blow you
away, away, away
and the rains
drop, drop, drop
that will lead you
far from me
from us
from those you left
left behind