People come into your life with a purpose.
The universe gives you support or gives you a challenge.
In the last three years I had a person deliver both.
The truth will always surface no matter how hidden it can be.
I've been on the highest mountain and in the highest peak.
I've been submerged in the deepest ocean and drowned in it slowly.
But somehow I've come out more alive than ever.
These hard lessons have made me grow wiser, become kinder, more disciplined and more loving.
I wish you could see me now.
How I'm learning to finally fly on my own.
I cry now because I'm ready, ready to let you go.
Jack is my best friend.
***** burns my sorrows into ashes.
Tequila never leaves my side.
I smell alcohol on my shirt like it's cologne.
Bottles lay all around me and they make me feel empty and alone.
I thought it would make me forget the pain.
It did for a moment but the next day I awake in more pain.
This isn't the way, it never was.
Yet, I drink another drink.
Because it's my only friend.
Let me show you what it's like to be me.
Step inside my wrinkled, falling apart working shoes.
Do you know what it's like to wear your beliefs on a pin, "**** The System".
Or wear a shirt with the logo "Brown Pride."
I who dresses for himself.
I who learns from every one and every book.
Opening the doors for you in each chapter and then closing them once you've read too much.
Now do you get me ? Or have you just been thinking of yourself lately ?
Biography August 30, 2016 ✍
You think you know what it's like to give up your heart completely?
To drink your heart break into a shattered glass with your blood & tears?
I blamed myself, I didn't think I was good enough, I was hateful of myself.
**** me, *******, **** everything.
Tears dripping on my pillow like a broken dream.
****, I fought people thinking that it would fix my pain.
Knuckles feigning to fight.
All the times I texted, called, voice mailed, and messaged and nothing.
You don't know pain.
You don't know Johnny Cash "hurt".
The past haunts me like a ghost and it won't let go.
Learn to let go
We exist in difficult times.
When we have to choose between Them or They but we can't choose Us, this is a forced vote.
Our Nation and Government divided.
The media incredibly controlling.
We've let our thinking be shaped.
******* the sun because of a Hillary mountain.
We can not find love in politics.
Only hate and war.
Please look within your heart and soul.
This is a struggle for a new civil rights movement and a fair and equal government.
We are making America hate again, even though we know this country was also build by immigrants.
No matter your religion.
We are all the same.
No matter our class or race.
Because in the end, we live and die sharing a world we all get to experience for a short amount of time.
Here it comes again; the losses that disappointed me every time I've been close to a win. This time around I've dealt with it differently, since I have you. Since I have you, I don't only support myself and I have you to hold me up. I use to drown myself in solitude, mourning, what was dead in me. I would let the cold make my bones freeze, because I didn't want to feel a thing. Those bad habits are gone, since I have you now.
The buildings crumbled down into scrap metal.
Architects failed to see their structural flaws until it was too late.
Blueprints told stories of what would come.
I'm a constructer that helped build a titanic mistake.
We build on land that was unstable.
We were born to fail.
Born to taste the ground of defeat.
This is classico amor, un amor con mucho valor.
Como tequila y limón, este amor tiene un poderoso sabor.
Baby you make me feel passionate like listening to a Vicente Fernandez song and you feel it hit you in your Core.
Everyday is Valentine's s Day when I'm with you.
Everyday I appreciate you.
You know how much I love to sing to you, how much I like to express how I feel through music and poetry.
Princesa, yo soy tu Guerrero De Amor, el único que sabe como quererte fuerte y suavecito.
There is love and there is hate
And there is pleasure and there is pain.
I'am driven by both.
Both the axe doing the chopping and the tree doing the growing.
A split personality.
A lover, not a fighter but a fighter for love.
Alone in a world full of others feeling alone too.
When will all these contradictions come to a compromise?
The day you realize you can't control everything in life but you can pick and choose what has more control over you.
At the thought of having me as yours, you rushed.
But when I needed you the most you were not willing to take the next step.
Nights I could have slept but instead I bled in silence from the frustrations leaking out of my chest.
Where were you?
Times when I relied on a drink to relieve my pain.
Where were you?
Where was your love then, why didn't you hold me or tell me things would be okay, instead you cast me aside like a helpless stranger.
You always imagined a love between us but you never cared for the imperfections that came buried under these covers.
The winds of change came.
She guided me through fierce storms.
Now the sun rises.
Summer love has vanished.
Snowflakes settle on her lips now.
Frozen and pale.
The dance floor burned bright red when you stepped on it.
I could feel the heat a mile away.
Our eyes met in between the other dancers.
She moved with every song in perfect sync.
The freedom in her steps were clear.
Our hands reached for the sky as the clock stopped and our lives became eternal.
It feels good to be alive and with people who came out to do the same.
Butterflies coming out of their cocoons, celebrating under a new blue moon.
Wish I was a more confident romeo or I would have been dancing next to you.
Harley motorcycles and leather boots
I burn rubber, so don't even try to pursuit.
Addicted to heavy metal and the people unafraid to jump in the pit.
I got a high for danger and a curiosity for the forbidden.
A speed freak pushing it to the limit.
Energy drinks, the adrenaline just keeps going up.
Fill my tank up with gasoline because i don't want to stop, until my flesh turns into dust.
Because my wild heart is ticking and it wont slow down.
The Panther in me will claw you down.
Sweet sweat from last night sprinkled on your smile.
I want to wake up like that, next to you. Smiling at this beautiful gift in front of me.
Breathing in the smell of your intoxicating fragrance.
Our deliverance was brought on by our favorite bands persuasive melodic, hypnotic, attraction.
Our kissing is a symbol of our impulses at action.
And your lips the sweetest sugar I've ever tasted.*
The ax chips away at the skin of the wood
The moldy parts that are no longer good.
If the wood should keep me warm throughout the winter nights, I need it to be of the best quality.
As I do my dance around the fire and chant empowerment into my limited being.
I am blessed with the removal of obstacles.
Dead weight that I had carried.
I can dance for myself, I can travel through time on my own and I can burn like the strong fire before me.
The person that finds their own voice, tends to get their tongue cut off by the rest of society.
Ultra Violet magnetic field of high voltage adrenaline showers the streets like speeding sports cars.
It's a rare occurrence of unregulated foreign madness.
I felt my inner chambers open and through them I explored my city in a new fashion.
Pulsating skies and electronica vibes.
Golden halos fall all around and the people, all friendly faces, liberated from their steel rooms.
I can hear the cries in the air.
A step closer, a heart willing to beat louder. A flower courageous enough to grow within the industrial tombs of the living dead. A divine light is what is lighting their way out of miserable decay.
The power I get from your personality.
You're a lion, a natural born leader.
King of the jungle, in this barren valley you give me hope.
Hope in a savior, in a presence so uniquely rare and strong.
I want to be like you, I want your charisma.
You make everyone seem so simple.
Far above average, your capable of emancipating glory.
A righteous and kind soul.
Your energy spreads through the beastly sinners and compels their spirit to change into something beautiful.
For my best friend
Right your wrongs.
Clear your conscious of guilt, if you want to have precise focus.
Convert anger into motivation, don't let it be what holds you down.
You want to be a warrior of light ?
Then hold your torch high above the rest.
Invest in your dreams,
Invest in your drive,
Invest in yourself.
A Red Ruby, if placed upon the chest, can melt through your rib cage and engulf your entire body with flames.
It's delicate appearance of a heart was purposely constructed that way, in order to desire with a fierce blaze.
Red Rubies were made to crystallize your eyes and make every single sensual thought behind them harden until they crack and find its way into your blood stream and into your love making.
Red Rubies are a euphoric gemstone stimulating your need to love and give into the desirable.
Sticking my head out the window I feel the racing wind pass through my hair like wild horses.
I feel infinite and unstoppable
For the first time in a million years I can smile and truly mean it.
I am not forcing adventures but I'm letting them flow. A natural high.
I'm here, present like the Earth is present within the larger universe, I know I matter.
And as my brothers laugh with me, I never realized how good it felt to laugh.
I've been missing out on my happiness.
I haven't been loving myself but now I embrace myself with open arms and with an aura around me that is contagious.
Hell no, you don't want to be compared to one of those models idolized in magazines.
True beauty lies outside the fashion industry’s visual constructions.
Fall in love with what you never expected to love, imperfection.
Brand-less self expression.
There are no cameras or flashing lights there
or visual effects.
We come in different range of sizes.
Shame on shallow marketing.
A pretty face can have nasty vices.
Hearts of Gold, now those aren't sold.
A true friend will text you to see if you got home safe.
Notice when your upset or are bothered.
Will make time and see you when it feels like it's been a long wait.
Be honest and get on your case
Believe in you.
Wont give up on you.
I question our friendship because I have seen these qualities disappear.
Our texts set the example of what we have become, a " hello"and "how you been ?" relationship and I think our friendship might be at stake.
I don't want us to end it but you have to show me that you want us to survive.
They say poets can charm with their words.
That they can create the most romantic verses,
But where do you think our inspiration comes from?
You, so who's really charming who?*
Have you ever loved so hard, you felt a pain in your chest ?
Or were left with dried tears ?
Did you torture yourself at night wondering if they were doing the same?
What do you do when days feel like months and months feel like years?
Food starts tasting bland indicating nothing else matters.
I wanted to close the blinds during my blindness love.
Permenantly destroying our memories together and forgetting you existed
Love is a drug, it will feel like ecstasy and then you turn into a fein.
Hoping you get another fix from those sweet tender lips.
Fights break out within every person.
Everyone has a battle they need to win.
Overcoming trials and tribulations;
It is hard to lose a loved one or to get rid of a traumatizing memory.
Some are running, some have stood their ground and some have lost their way.
I remember this when I smile, I remember this when I bring joy into people's day or inspire them to try something new and tell them to stay positive.
Because I've been there too.
And I don't want you to fight this battle alone like I did.
Until she came along and saved me with a smile and began to believe in me.
My universe wants to collide with yours.
I tremble at the sight of your eyes.
I smile when you smile.
You are Art to me, you are a greek sculpture built to perfection.
A creation better than i could imagine.
Protect you my fist tell me.
I could write a whole book of poems inspired by your beauty.
I want my touch to be the only touch that makes you lust for a body.
In the morning when the sun brightens your face, i want to be laying next to you and witness the reason to start my day.
My heart beats for you, it soars high like a rocket, it's literally about to jump out my chest.
Surround yourself with positivity. Appreciate the sunrise.
Take care of Mother Earth because she provides you with the fruits of life.
Be humble with what you have because there are others out there less fortunate.
And when you breath take it in like its the last one, release those worries away.
Be brave, step out of the cave and love
And laugh, think, cry
And laugh, think, cry.
Now isn't that a full day.
Your a jaw breaker candy because you dropped my jaw.
My head spinned back like an owl as you circled me.
Long nails tingling down my spine.
A voice that could ****** any wild animal into submission.
Her body heat made me sweat.
Her intimidating attitude was ****.
Her reading glasses foggy.
Her coffee breath wasn't off putting but rather enticing.
She was a blue moon and i was howling for her, I was bound by her power.
In the secret alley of Culver City, i saw a painting of my Mexican American culture being celebrated.
The lights in the secret city sparkled like champagne bubbles.
Flowing with the city's energy our legs carried us around "No Trespassers Allowed" private properties.
I imagined a life were we could walk the streets and not feel paranoid by each car that passed.
The ideal fast food American City where there's bars and restaurants on every corner.
The alley took me into hyperreality, for what is real for me might be false for others and vice versa.
I want you to look through my infinite playlist and see your eyes light up by my music.
We could spend a night talking about spirituality through the arts of shamanistic practices or criticize american politics.
Or we could lay down quietly side by side and hear our lungs inhale oxygen.
You don't get the same reactions at a bar or club. While the rest seek to hide the self, I seek to free it.
I am daring you to bring out your true self into the light and without any filters.
I am challenging your insecurity, to release the prisoner hiding behind solid bones, get me deep into your core and put away your sharp teeth.
Your with me, where you can feel free.
The hour is here.
The stars are align.
The stage is set for your entrance.
Good fortune is in your favor.
Welcome the courage to take the next step.
- Christian Ek
You were the last blow to seal me in this coffin.
A nightmare i never woke up from.
You were poison disguised as a sugary treat.
I can still taste your cherry chap stick but not the venom.
You stole my heart and I want it back.
I can't rest in peace until i have what was once mine, my peace of mind.
You commanded and I submitted thinking I had found the one, but the joke was on me when I finally saw the beast that ate my soul.
I've given people various pieces of me.
I have come to them in different shapes and forms.
Offering help that could wipe away their pain, but when you give yourself genuinely without wanting anything back, you are drained.
And you will fall, fall into a whirlpool of uncontrollable emotion.
You swallowed their bitter secrets and now you feel hollow like an empty glass on the verge of collapse.
I love to make someones day.
Let loose! Let loose! I say.
Choosing inspirational words i can make the stress go away.
Tonight is your night, the drinks I will pay.
Dress up in our finest clothes, kings and queens toast like a parade.
There is a party and everyone is going in the city of L.A.
A brother asked me "show me your best dance move" and I said okay.
And like an energetic crescent moon I changed the tidal waves with one move.
Just for you.
Because the good times roll when everyone can celebrate and no one hates.
We will survive a Blackened world because we want it more. The moment will come when Metallica will raise hell and the last dying flower is crushed by an iron boot. These heavy guitar riffs shooting out lead will prevail. Awakening the masses and making them step off the conveyor belt. Another Brick In The Wall broken by the people just like when the berlin wall fell.
Freedom is right around the corner.
I am not your Stepping Stone, your seat to enjoy the show. May the Gods of Rock blow your mind with electric mania, liberating their children in the pit. They beg for this music we call metal, ******* and punk to continue.
Rage Against the Machine - "******* i wont do what you tell me!"
Life is creation, if you look close enough you can even find it in cemeteries.
The promises you have avoided every new year, make them a reality this time around. Its a fresh start, wiping clean the grime off the window.
Procrastination is out that window.
Priorities have entered, therefore, I must accomplish what I've been putting off for so long. A friend told me each person is destined for greatness and each year i want to remind myself of that saying. If your trying to reach above the clouds there is no looking down. Cruising through the city, rocking and a rolling completely satisfied with knowing where i am going, that's going to happen NOW.
I want to be able to breath and smile every day without a worry. These are the best years of my life and I want to keep that going.
I put my signature upon your lips.
Poison in our cups, I grab your hips and the fun begins.
Two maniac's carving names into each other's chest.
Your a graveyard queen and even in death we seek each other's company.
I wouldn't feel the difference between heaven and hell as long as I was with you.
You are mine and I am yours.
Two lost souls ripped apart from one another, would wonder endlessly in search of their better half.
I declare rebellious action upon the evils in authority.
Strength in my voice rises like the fist I lift up in the air.
Taking a stand against the machine!
Your democracy is bomb first ask questions later.
I got the right to protest if my government becomes a failure.
If continuing poverty is progress then you must be rich.
In a country historically rooted in corruption maybe its time we change history for the better.
Our love was like a roller coaster with it's up's and down's
A spinning round circle we both got caught in.
The expectations were high in the beginning, but the thrill died when we reached the top and realized we did not share the same view.
Our love was a like roller coaster with it's up's and down's.
We felt like passengers in our seats, we felt one another constrained by our seat belts like we didn't want to be there and that the pretty lights that once attracted us there now blinded us.
Our love was like a roller coaster that ended with us getting off and both of us leaving what we thought was love, on that doubtfully safe, old metal seat to rust.
The most powerful revolution I've witness has been that of the individual because that causes a chain reaction like no other. I love to see the naked human, the untouched by society human, the true human, be that.
Some might say I'm too passionate and that I only speak the language of poetry.
There is a spirit animal who appears to me and the primordial instincts it values turns on inside of me.
They ask me why I close my eyes when the music begins to play but they don't understand how I completely dive myself into the music.
I fall in love with the simplicity life has to offer and with the complexities I can't explain.
Am I a victim ? because I want more than the normal or am I the one who is still waiting for those animalistic passions to pierce through to my soul.
Caramel skin that got painted on by the needle.
You are inked from head to toe.
Art done to you by different hands, they must have felt privileged to touch such a tender canvas.
Like the butterfly on your stomach, you have transformed, tattoo metamorphosis.
Pain, the sting of the honeybee.
Bearing the ****** even though you bleed.
Written on the flesh, drawn upon the flesh, a story of who you are eternally expressed.
I want to read your body and understand each chapter.
Tattoos and piercings modify your outer appearance, exactly how you want it to be.
The person I was,
The person I want
Every morning I shed my skin.
A snake whose scales alter constantly.
At the velocity in which I'm moving it's hard to capture an image of me.
I have purple dreams, yours are green.
I don't pit stop, I don't need a break when money is the key to breaking free.
But don't ever question my motifs, your only seeing one side of me.
So it's hard to find the right person who can sit in my passenger seat, so I drive pass her, because I am in need of someone who can catch up to my speed, indeed, one who understands loyalty, my artistic need and open-minded philosophy.
I am grounded currently but I'm trying to travel globally.
Unfortunately, we all have to go through the pursuit of happiness, meaning there isn't any security that you will reach your destiny.
Will I receive someone who can be my gasoline ?
Who do you have to lean on, when the bills stack up constantly ?
I'm breaking my back so I don't have to go back to the start of the track. Yes it is a race to the finish.
There's no way you can win it, when your team can't envision the same vision of being crowned first position.
My throat blows out fire.
You can't stop this sun burning in my lungs.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel.
A dragon lurking through the shadows.
Enter the unknown and i will funnel magma into your cold lifeless body.
OH NO! my little fireflies! they want to capture you in a bottle!
But the blood of the dragon in you melts the glass that held you.
We have become the mythical creatures they thought only existed in their imagination.
And now the power we've withheld for so long has got them running.
Running into the silent caves, waiting to be saved.
They fear what they not know.
I will not apologize for spreading my wildfire and you shouldn't either.
There was no way I could make her happy. The only sympathy I could offer her was my shoulder.
A place where her black tears could dry on my collared shirt.
How could I numb her pain.
I couldn't tell her "this is not the right place" or "people are looking."
Feelings aren't meant to be bottled up inside I figured but relinquished like the make up leaking down on her cheek.
At that moment I had the privilege of witnessing the uncovered human in her.