one look from you
and my body
softens and bends
in response.
i see nothing else,
and i know
i couldn't fight it
even if i wanted to
- you are my gravity.

i have realised
why it still hurts so much;
i have too many words
inside my head,
to describe the way my heart
burst from my chest
the moment we met.
too many memories
of your fingertips
tracing the curve of my hips,
keeping me up at night.

i had a paper heart,
you played with matches.

you might not
have been my first love
but you were the one
who hurt the most.

you asked me once
how real it all felt
sometimes i wonder
if it had all just been a dream
but then i remember
your gentle eyes
under a summer moon,
the scent of oranges
hanging in the air
and the feeling of stars
bursting out of the sky
the moment our lips met.

i thought i could let you go,
yet you pour out of me
each time i pick up this pen.
i guess i just wanted
to love you
a little
l o n g e r.

it takes 27 days
for skin to shed,
which means i've been
5 different versions of myself
since we last touched,
but i still remember
how your fingertips
left me burning.

the moonlight
glistened on your skin
on those tangerine nights,
your sweet moans
my own gentle lullaby,
in sweat and blood
we sang through the dark.

as i lay
in this eternal slumber,
i hear your voice
and my heart
skips a beat again.

you were that laying back
sipping coffee,
sunday morning kind of love.

your love is deadly;
only you
could break me twice.

i know these words
never need to leave my lips,
i know you feel
the same void
in the pit of your stomach
tearing you inside out
but i'll still say them
for only you to hear;

i miss you
more than words
could ever express.

you turned me
into dust,
so i turned you
into w
     o
          r
      d
             s.

i miss you
and then i remember
you broke me first.

there was no escape
your soul bewitched mine
the instant our eyes met
on velvet nights
our bodies bled into one,
moonlight kissing flesh
a love so full of fire
the stars themselves
faced inwards to watch
our nightly worship.

i long to be
your first cup of coffee
kissing those
sleepy eyes awake,
whilst you feel the warmth
spread through your bones.
i long to be
the reminder of home
felt with each
gentle mouthful,
now an essential part
of your daily ritual.
i long for you
to spend the day thinking
of when you might
taste me next,
leaving hints of cinnamon
and sweetness on your lips.

we bled into each other
so naturally
as if our love was birthed
from the earth itself,
yet i seen constellations
each time our eyes met
as if the universe had planned us
this whole time,
willing us to make it.
what a beautiful thing
it could've been
if we had.

the scent of incense
hangs heavy in the air
the constant murmer of voices
comes crashing like waves
but your eyes meet mine
and the faces disappear
the voices die,
all that remains
is an unspoken invitation
from my lips
willing yours to kiss them
and yours happily
meet their request
leaving our love tasting
like oranges
tenderly plucked
from moonlight lips.

we aren't all
still waters and roses,
we each have
our darkness to embrace
our deepest desires,
demons in the shadows
i wonder if yours
has crimson hair
and saucer eyes,
if they hit you
with burning kisses
while you sleep,
just like mine
have eyes of ocean blue
and writers hands
that feel like home.

once again
i'm falling alone
there's no hands to catch me,
only a foolish heart
with a glutton
for p u n i s h m e n t.

if you cannot
unravel my soul,
then you do not deserve
to undress
my body.

time can change
alot of things,
but you dug your nails in
and now, despite the
oceans between us
you're still the only one
my heart beats for.

it is said
that there is
a strange power
in the joining
of unlikely things,
perhaps that is why
our love
was other worldly.

sapphire nights
spent with your body
pressed on mine,
hearts racing
stars aligning
moonlit promises
forgotten by dawn,
each bittersweet memory
a reminder
of what could have been.

you are,
you will always be
my sweetest haunting,
i loved you first.

i feel you pulling at me
drawing me back to you
with each whisper
my bones react,
your hand on my throat
my blood singing your name,
craving destruction.

to put it simply,
i would've gave it all up
for you.

i only hope you know,
i would've followed you
to the furthest horizon,
across the whole universe
until the very end.

in spite of the failed attempts
in spite of time
never being on our side,
you are my sweetest hallelujah.

i know now
that i get you in phases,
from having all of you
with your ocean eyes
and sleepy hand holds
to having only glimpses,
before you disappear again
leaving me in the darkness
once more
just like the moon,
only you have the power
to captivate me
and send me to madness.

i hear your voice
and i know nothing on earth
will compare to how my heart
skips a lifetime for you
until there are
no words left,
i'm yours.

i stare at these pages
as if the words
are going to be enough
to bring you back,
as if the blood spilled
will be all you need
to see that i'm right here.
yet once again,
all i'm left with
is ink stained hands
and a fracture in my chest.

i keep you with me always
you visit me
in the space between
sunset and moonrise,
in that world i belong to you.
keeping our memories
loccked up tight,
keeping them safe
in their heart shaped boxes.
i go back to them each night,
a land of whispered promises
and starlit worship.
i know if i could go back
there's not one i would erase.
despite the hurt,
despite the loss,
you were my masterpiece.

perhaps i should
hold you with
a little more caution.
after all, we've done
this dance before.
you love me in seasons,
giving me your all
before disappearing completely
leaving me to wonder
if i ever knew you at all.
your absence withers me,
yet i'm desperately hoping
for an endless summer.
despite everything,
you are the reason
poetry soars in my veins
and i'll always love
you for giving me
these words.

we were but a myth,
you were the deity
that i wanted so badly to believe in.

my darling
my love for you
will outshine
any star in the sky,
until there is nothing left
but blackness
and the memory
of your lips on mine
you are the only galaxy
i never tire of exploring.

hand in hand
we ran down the cliffside
wind howling
the waves crashing
crimson hair
dancing in the breeze
we sat for a moment
lost in the beauty of it all
thinking that the ocean
hugging the shore so calmly
before violently
breaking at it's feet
is much like how
our love feels.

even after everything
if i could go back
to the first moment we met
i wouldn't run
from the heartache
i'd only tell myself
just how worth it
you were.

i'm drowning
under the weight of our goodbye,
knowing i'll never
catch my breath again.

i said never again,
but maybe this time
you would be different.
maybe it would hurt less,
when you handed
my love back to me.
maybe we were still
made of stardust,
desperate for another chance
to make it.
wanting to do better,
to finish what we started.
but you walked out the door
and once again,
i'm left alone
with my ******* heart
and the unwavering need
to love that which can destroy me.

more than every drop of water
in every ocean
more than every grain of sand
in every desert
more than every single star
in the night sky

i'm going to miss you
just as much as i would've loved you.

we find ways to steal moments together, knowing our time is running out. clinging to each other like inmates on death row, facing the realisation that soon we will no longer exist. each time your eyes find mine my heart breaks. you move the stars in my sky and send fireworks through my soul. the ghost of you stays with me, the feeling of your body against mine and of my lips finding yours in the dark are infused in my very being. in those moments we were immortal. i'd give anything for one more night to surrender to you, to fully explore what was robbed from us the first time. **** i'd even take 10 minutes. just you & i hidden from the world, left to speak in the only language our souls understand. i dream that we got that. that somehow, somewhere we got a real goodbye. they say at the end you see it all infront of you, now you're all i see and i'm terrified of a life without you in it. you are my inferno.

again i find myself
drowning in you
****** together
like waves on the shore.
i'm ready to go under
and feel you fill my lungs
you are my oxygen.

i sometimes wonder
what i did wrong
perhaps i was too much to handle,
incapable of loving small.
i tie myself wholly
in an act of pure devotion
ready for worship
maybe that's what made you run
but i can't apologise
for wanting a love
that eats me whole.

you were the first snowfall in winter
your fragile soul
broken from a haunted past
like a rose amongst thorns,
teaching me how beautiful
it can be to bloom after the frost.