I cloud my mind
with thoughts of You
as I drive myself out of
and sometimes into

a crime of one
a conspiracy of two
one was in love
the other was too

this love was arbitrary
t'was asserted by both
this love was ordinary
a relation that quotes

the names of You and I
and of how we're meant to be,
how we were not to try,
and of how we'll always be.

nothing was really asserted
nothing is really true
it was just from me to myself
and how I'll always love You

and so I cloud my mind
with thoughts of You
to remind me of sanity
to deprive Me of truth.

~She is graceful, elegant, and beautiful.

He loved her
from the depths
of his heart.

A heart She broke,
because She
never looked back.
        
—

They were not perfect
But that did not matter.

He knew no chance,
for it was Impossible.

—

But he Loved her
as if it were not so
and spent his days
thinking only of Her.
      

thoughts that consume
and make his heart
break even more.

—

But He Loved Her,
not caring about the risk,
without bounds,
without fear
That She
would not love Him back.  

—

And He Loved Her
Ad Infinitum.

I lie aside, subside
in pools of bright,
ice cold water

I look into thine eyes
in shades of night
skies and evening stars

in heights of towers
I feel the power
of gravity pulling me

and oh, how the wind
comes to an end
and again will never blow

and oh, how this pool
loses its cool
then leaves you alone, afloat.

Flashing lights from the window
How they blanket on my face!
A calling back to reality
That leaves without a trace

of dreams and of fantasies
and of bright morning stars
as memories and fragments
lead us back towards the start

ringing bells, closing doors
and two-hour dates
long walks, without a tire
no, we don't need to race

in and out the halls we go
as i try to tell you something
chasing tails - back and forth
to ropes we still keep clinging

Ah, tethered souls! Yes, You and I
Search deep in each other's eyes
as the mourning wakes my soul again
reality becomes my prize

~The blankets are on
but the sheets still fall off
maybe it's time to fold
and get on up.

'Tick-tock', says the clock
You're too late

But he knew to himself
that he could never be early
and could have never been

But he only knew this
when the clock had chimed

It's time to go
she said

though it sounded more like

It's time to say

                                                  
                                                    Goodbye­  



he didn't hear
for she
had deafened him
with the sound of
her voice

he gave her a broken smile
and a stare that would last forever

will this be the last?
he asked
knowing this was the first

he knew she loved him too
in his dreams
at least

I love making people happy
but to see You smile
is what I have always
longed for

I like to.....

to drink a cup of coffee
to listen to mellow tracks
to sit beside the window
to stare into oblivion

as I think of you,
as I watch my teardrops fall down from the sky,
as I watch them turn into floods of emotion
as I feel the cold breeze remind me your touch
as I taste coffee turn into blood
as I listen to mellow tracks become as enraged as myself
as I sit beside the window with the rain pouring on me
as I stare into nothing    


...as I think of you
    in hopes that you're thinking of me too  

these are the things I crave for on rainy days
but what I crave for the most is you

O' Lord,
seek me and see my frailty
I have become weak
my heart has become weary

Help me understand
When I cannot comprehend
all these things that you have planned
Heal the wounds I cannot mend

Bring me to your peace
in the refuge of your arms
embrace me through the cold
and bring me to your warmth

Help me not to be anxious
Help me to be strong
Help me to be thankful
Help me not to do wrong

all of these I entrust
all of these I commend
In the Name of Your Son Jesus
all of these I pray
Amen

such a lovely time
to be my Valentine
if only our words
could ever rhyme

no, I won't give you flowers
or chocolates in a box
I'd rather give you a mixtape
and a case full of luck

I'd send you a letter
with words of my own
one so poetic
one so very grown~

out of love, out of sight
love as warm as the night
O' thine eyes shine so bright!
mirrors the elegant moonlight

**** me softly with your hug
send me off with your kiss
grant me heartily with your words
as I marvel at the bliss~

of how You say You love me
as I fall in it again
as the cold breeze tries and makes me
freeze in time,  asking when~

I'll be seeing you once more
in this Valentine time's dream
save the date, **** the luck
for when reality hits me clean

a poem so lovely, a poem was she
a poem so written perfectly
with every verse, such lovely rhymes
every syllable, like the sound of chimes

on summer's morning, i decide to read
the words engraved, so great indeed
such marvelous schemes of painted words
with sound, hushed cries, not simply heard

on winter's eve I read again
every word is as it was back then
the standard lines, still elegant
living harmony, so resonant

she was a poem, once upon a time
a poem so lovely, I could not rhyme
as I look back at autumn's dawn
at midnight spring, the lines were drawn

of eyes so sore, a storm has come
where calm may truly rest
where flashes burn and trails all turn
the trials into tests

the sun was dark, the clouds had fade
my prayers into dust
then shadows turn, and memories change
all sorrow into lust

O how days have grown, like space and time
the distance between us
a force so strong that pushed and pulled
the tides between our trust

the haunting image of you and i
still so far from above
whose shades are not of black nor white
the Spectre of Our Love.

O' Succubus,
               weighing me down in my slumber
                                                   Keep me still till the morning
                                                                ­                    your embrace is all I need.

You were only a dream
A dream so real
but a dream
I could never achieve


Like the sunlight
when it reaches me
but I could never touch
With its brightness
such a blinding light
I could not hope to stare

So instead
I look at the moon
and forget to
sleep at night
because its beauty
elegance
the same as yours
reminds me
of the light

The stars that shine
them I desire
the light's still reaching me
but the star is dead
just like my dreams
My heart in morbid beat

do you feel it?
the drought that
striketh thy heart
when the nights
aren't cold
and the winds
won't blow?

can you see it?
the shadows that lurk
who dim the soul
when eyes have changed
and turn thy
perspective into dust?

can you hear it?
that loud banging noise
inside
the waking sound
in the morning
that is your heartbeat?

have you tasted
life without flavor?
like a rainbow
whose shades
are only of gray

can't you smell the aroma
of freshly picked flowers?
soon to die
soon to wither
soon to fade a w  a    y

-

as you have picked me up
from the ground
so shall you leave me be

without cease nor rest
no heartbeats fast
no color trails behind
how long will we
the waters test?
Until our eyes go blind?

the hour hand comes
so slow at night
though it leaves me tired at day
exhausted of what's left behind
content with what's to stay

a morbid heart
you carved into
the perfect shape of pain
tainted with all your memories -
blurry image stains

I love you still
though it's only ache
that is reserved for I
go and carve the way you like
no need to answer why.

You speak of my frustrations
in memories aloft
High as I was in the sky,
so as low will be my drop

In most of days I long for you,
and in most I feel the weight
of the pain that sears and scorches through
my arteries and veins

How long, how long shall your stare remain  
to torment my heart and soul?
The hades of which now fills my mind
had once felt much like home

and now I hide in solitude
from suffering and from pain
To escape the toils of loving you
To sleep and never wake again.

O' how they rise above each other,
the descendants of Babel!
Rebels to forefathers.
All as righteous as they seem –
to the law, but not to reality

Towers Among Towers!
unreachable by mere ones
mocking the lowlands
with their heights  
Even dreams could not fathom!

And oh, how Towers fall too,
at the top of their limit.
Catastrophe! Phenomena!
their power too is frail
because there is always
One that stands taller
than any other could avail.

I am Strong


because I have loved you for this long

because I am able to look to you with another

because I've spent all these days without being with you

because I still loved you even though you would not love me back

because I went through all this pain without you even knowing

because I wrote my heart out, breaking it over and over again

because I looked into your eyes and deceived myself with false hope

because I've had nightmares of you, believing they were dreams





and because  I Love You







Yes, I am Strong...

                                                  ­      
                                                            ...j­ust not Strong enough to tell you

                  
  
                                                                ­      
                                                 I Love You.

In the driest times of my life.

When the days were young
and the skies were clear,
You stood at the midst
of grassless plains and soulless trails,
of footprints made by one
who had none at all
but his void of a heart.
Sick, depressed;
waiting for his demise,
his very own destruction.

but,

You were like rain pouring
to quench a desert's thirst.

You were like wind blowing
upon still and quiet pastures.

You were like fire burning,
consuming until nothing -
was none at all.

You were something.

until

Your winds blew harder
and Your sails grew wider;
until the shine in Your eyes
could be seen no more.

I grew weary,
tired of being a vessel so empty.

I could not run away,
because at every end —
and at every stop —

I would always find myself
wanting for more of You.

I may not be your destination,
but I know that You are mine.

I will always find myself
coming back to You.


The dreamer dreams
of nightmares too
of visions,  so clear
so bright and blue
But we always know
that dreams end too
too late to say that—

I Love You.