Crying,
Over the bathroom scale because I think the numbers are taunting
Smiling,
Because if people actually saw how I was feeling they'd avoid me.
Hurting,
Because I'd rather bottle it up than tell anyone
Dying,
Because not eating is more appealing than being happy.

I feel it
I hate it
I can stop it. I can eat.
Food tastes guilty.
I lie,
I starve.
I hide the fact that I'm hungry,
But I'm not going to eat.
Not yet.
Not until I've taken control

You are
Paralyzed,
Dreaming,
Resting,
Resetting,
And Calm.

While I am here all alone,
Waiting for the next day,
For the past to fade.
But it all blurs together
When there was never,
Right hours to reset my mind.

They lost themselves.

Buried within their own lies,
They lie awake at night
Dreaming of what it might be like
To relight, the candle
which once lit up their eyes.

They are alone,
With no one to hold.

My heart,
torn to pieces by the love you never had for me .
My thoughts,
overcome with the someone who can't understand,
this burning feeling in my chest,
this unrequited love that won't let me rest.

And yet...
I'd rather live this way,
and keep you close
Then tell you,
and lose you forever.

I gave them the words
that I never thought I'd see.
The ones I wish were said
in my time of need.

Now you have them.
and I'm glad you made use,
of the things I could never have,
but gave to you
when I needed you to,
give them to me.

You crushed my heart
with your beautiful soul

Depression to me feels like a heavy weight on my head and heart.
Always there and hard to ignore.
I wish I could push it away,
but who am I without it.

Lost most of my friends,
most of the trust,
nearly all of myself.

Depression is a black hole that takes everything away from me.

Spring break is...
going out
partying
and having fun with others
But all I do is...
sleep
over think
study
and be alone

An invisible,
unattainable,
unfathomable feeling.
I wish to have it
I wish to give it,
but sadly I cannot find it

They don't believe me.
They don't trust me.
They don't listen.
They think that it's all in my head...
and even if it is,
they're not feeling what I feel.
They don't know,
so how could they possibly help.

I'm sick of waiting
I'm sick of falling,
I'm breaking
I'm tired,
but I can't sleep.

You're breaking me
while I'm falling for you.
I'm just waiting for you to notice,
the pain that you've put me through.

For the first time I noticed,
that I am not the only one.

For the first time I saw,
that they knew how I felt.

For the first time I felt,
how hard confrontation is.

For the first time I saw,
how what I did hurt them.

I tried to fight back,
but the demons took over
and now I feel lost

It's happening again.
I let them back into my life,
and now they've brought me down.

I knew,
but I didn't stop it.

I could've prevented this pain,
but it's my fault.

So now,
I'll have to go through this misery again

School is like a prison.
not in the traditional sense,

Students must do as the warden says,
completing work or receiving a penalty,
act a certain way or be punished.

And if they don't complete their sentence,
they are doomed to a life that could be better

In this room full of people ,
I feel as if I do not exist.

My words dissolve into the air,
And leave me in dispear.

How I long for the day when,
They see how wrong they've been.

Longing for the day I am not *invisible

I need help,
anyone that can take me away from myself.
Someone to say that I'll be okay,
that it'll all go away someday,
and that I'll see the old me again.

First there's silence...

Then comes anxiety,
the fear and wondering.

Then comes stress,
the future and unknown.

Then the sadness,
the loneliness and crying.

Then comes depression,
the thoughts and self-inflicted violence.

Then comes the end,
the suicidal thoughts and actions...

Love is but a rose,
Beautiful for a moment. then wilted in the next.

Love comes like lightning,
then leaves just as quick.

Love is reachable,
yet seems so out of reach.

Love is like the ultimate goal,
that can never be substantial.

Love is obscene.

I wish upon a shooting star,
That this pain won't go too far.

I look misplaced.

For I don't see,
We are the same.

We are unique,
in our own way.

But we are all wilting in the same way,
Slowly,
Surely,
Shamefully,
And soon completely gone.

You may be older, but
your immaturity says you're the younger one.

I may be younger, but
I've lived long enough to know whats right.

You may be older, but
your stories show that you haven't learned a thing.

I may be a child, but
I do not judge by appearance.

You may be the adult, but
you only show the goals you've reached.

I may be a teenager, but
I am lead by the unreachable.

You may be older, but
I am not a child.

Another day she will not see.
As she left an unknown legacy,
she left a mark
upon the center of our heart.
She shall never be forgotten,
for that was all she ever wanted.
The reason she left so soon,
will never be known to me or to you.
But she will forever remain,
because she did not go in vain.

Alone I lie awake,
sitting in an empty room.
Another long night.