I walked down the path, watching my steps intently, trying not to fall. My face formed a light smile that annunciated my cheekbones. I was happy now; this was the first time I was in the longest time. I never knew why I was sad either, all my emotions always seem to blend together. I pushed everything aside for the minutes I was walking, clearing my wandering mind.
And there he was ahead of me. Jeremiah.
Oh, what was I to do? He was in the way of the pathway, I couldn’t leave now. The wind stung my face with its worry. As if she was speaking to me, asking,“Are you alright?” patiently.
Oh, I was properly scared. No, not gut wrenchingly frightened, but the hair on my neck stood on its edge, ready for attack.
As I was about to prance away, our eyes met. His were green, brown- hazel. Beautiful. I didn’t dare breathe one word.
He walked up to me, grabbing my hand slowly. I reached out and we touched. The cherry blossoms fell onto the ground all around us.
My mouth didn’t want to speak, but I did. My brain was telling me to say how much I adored him. How much I loved him, but oh no, I could never.
“What’s the matter?” Jeremiah whispered serenely.
“Nothing.” I gently replied, but my mind blew up with many sparks.
“I missed you. You know that?” He asked sweetly, his breath smelled like candy that I wanted to put in my mouth and engulf.
“I missed you too,” I said, beaming.
We hadn’t seen each other in a whole month. I missed him the entire time, with my full heart. Even though he was gone for so long at war, I didn’t want to see him anymore. Those forbidden words clung to the back of my tongue, ready to protrude out of my lips at any given moment. But I kept silent. Even though it pained me deeply.
“Everything seems off…like I missed a lot.” He gave a sentimental expression to me and looked straight up at the glowing sun.
“You never miss too much. You’re always gone when there’s a problem, always gone when I’m grieving.” I was petrified that those words came out of my foolish lips. I told them to stop being so loose.
I could tell that he felt sympathetic for me, while also terrified of my honest remarks.
“No, that’s not what I meant-“ the words didn’t feel right. Not at all.
Jeremiah didn’t say anything else. Neither did I.
But he grabbed my hand and we started waltzing. The sun was beginning to set in the bleak horizon. The sun lit up both of our indignant faces, something we had in common.
While he waltzed calmly, he whistled. The songs he was whistling sounded so familiar. So familiar.
War chants. That’s what the whistle sounds were. They tore me towards his skin. I saw landscapes from Greece, Italy, and Spain painted on his skin. Dreams so faint, I could barely read them. Tattoos of what our lives could have been. If he never got involved in war.
As our dance ended, he pulled me in so close I could almost taste his disappointment.
His eyes told me stories from his time at war, but that wasn’t what he was trying to tell me.
“You shouldn’t resent me for going to war,” he said. “You know before…before my life….I had another one. And before that, you weren’t mine, I was you.”
“What?” I asked doubtfully.
“I was you before. I criticized you for going to save your country. I denounced your accomplishments complacently. I said you were worth nothing. And the next day, I found you on the floor of the dining room. Burning alive. I ran to your side but..” he struggled forming these words, “I was engulfed into the flame. Both of us went down to the evil storm of jealousy. Both of us died in vain. Useless. So God sent us back for another round, when we would swap roles, I would go to war and provide, and you would, you know, wait around. But look, we’re right back where we started.” He finished this statement firmly, leaving out no small detail.
“Oh, Jeremiah! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean anything. I promise. Oh, I missed you at war! I missed you dearly! I will never say anything else about you leaving! Never!” Yelling at the top of my lungs felt all good and well.
And we gripped each other’s bodies so tight, I bet an earthquake happened.
“Oh, Jeremiah! Maybe you were me before!” I shouted into the pitch black darkness.
Jeremiah whispered quietly under his breath. “Maybe.”
Soulmates who?
1/4/22