ik vraag me af of de de tijd
- die zich onherroepelijk voortrekt -
soms een moment stilstaat
bij datgene wat ze met zich meebrengt.

the sunflowers had withered
gracious had they once stood,
competing with the golden hues of the sun,
there exuding radiance had been a delight to gaze upon;
now left to be fetched when morning came.

my dear, do not worry
too often
your flower is still young —
green, barely has it rooted.
the time will come
you will flourish,
as it will bloom.

individuals, dozens of them
prying until the sun
lit up the grounds

it felt like the heavens
when you did not

yet my smile
appeared too soon
faltered when you left me

bounded with affection —
crippled butterflies
leaving to never
fly near again.

when the flowers started to bloom
they withered
all of them  —
in my mind, at least
for the eye it is pleasing

i do not feel this ease

the wind does not calm me
it acts more like the turbulence
of my emotions
weighing me down
to earth.

my dear, do not worry
too often
your flower is still young —
green, barely has it rooted.
the time will come
you will flourish,
as it will bloom.

it was with me,
intimate
as a lover’s kiss

like invisible wings,
just the feathers that had
darkened a bit

an inescapable shadow
i was passively existing in.

a dozen gold horses
galloping around the fields.
dusk is upon,
their manes are dancing —
a strong wind in our presence

how do they not stumble?
i do.

light — featherlike —
risen into the depths
of tranquility

my butterflies adored you;
attracted by the soft lingering scent
of the flower crown that ever so
graciously rested
on your pretty locks.

as a phantom of the night
i wandered into
my state of euphoria
where none of my ponders
oppressed me.

i was the one Almighty

i vividly remember us together
sitting by the sunflower fields
they were all turned to you
it had been a cool summer day
yet i had felt warm
next to you

a bucket full of withered roses
two repeated sentences —
both still lingered in the room

Echo repeating:
he loves me
he loves me not

she was not heard
another unrequited love
in the midst of a stillness

i guess i should feel
somewhat honored
to have seen past your
mask painted a deer

you left me
shattered, everything
we had gathered in that
glass box —
into pieces

i should have known
glass is vulnerable

yet it is the most beautiful sight
when the light hits it,
it refracts
covering its surroundings
with rainbows —
thousands of them

but now it is gone
i am broken

i can feel you
if you can feel me
an ensemble of two
in this heartfelt misery

you must know all my secrets
by now since you are in
my mind from the moment the
sun lights the flowers until
the moon illuminates the waters

thoughts feel clouded
but precious are they so

i should embrace them
like endless endearments
whispered in my ear
so pretty and sincere
making the cherries blossom near

yet when you are oceans away
why would i let this feeling stay?

my dear
you made it quite clear
that you do not wish me here
so why come near
when all you do is sneer
is that just to make me shed a tear?

narrow
spaces
unidentified
faces

both looked so grounded
as if they were guarding
me with their lives

certainly, i did not mind
it made me feel quite at ease

watching the two red roses
in front of me,
tranquility at its finest

i had felt so calm

as if i was swimming in a lake
nearing two am on a summer night
the water still
warm from the sun
that had set hours prior

floating while gazing at the stars
with the moon illuminating
the subtle waves
rocking me into my sleep

a certain tranquility had
washed over the place

once crowded and populous
now as if any event of the past
had never been present

you could call it the end of times
at the start of a new day

i flew away
to an unusual reality
their skin had a faint glow
matching the vibrant hair

the personas were moving
while i was at a still
i caught myself smiling
through my numbness

as my conscious returned to me
the colours in my vision
turned dull once again

i think i would still enjoy
watching the sunsets with you
yet i am now not quite sure
on how to

i think it is safe to say
you are avoiding me
our paths are not colliding
any longer i see

i think i am better off
without you in my presence
but in these moments i wonder
what is the essence

forgive me for i have
belittled myself

the grand picture
has disappeared

i seek guidance
yet defy the system
that also just
injects me with treason

this is going to sound cheesy
but even if the sun would shine its brightest
the moon being at its fullest
and that together with a million stars
you would still be the brightest light
in this world and others

being willing to give up an eternity without you
just to spend a day in your presence

i remember you said that
you would travel the world for me

why did you leave me in a trip?

it was bad,
you know  

yet i still cannot leave you

promise me
when you come

i will go on my knees
and beg,
to not make it a one night

stand with your values
handle with care
please do not leave me in despair

i would travel three oceans far
just to see your face
when it lights up
as you smile

the angels had cried
a few moments past
the sky now tinted a soft grey

morning dew still fresh
on the various roses
that covered the fields

she sat alone
cheeks a bit wet
and her mind slightly numb

the only thing she could feel
were the spirits in her presence
her shaking hands
went up to her face
drying the tears

am i in love with the mind
or do i just mind

please do not call me kind
they will just make me a martyr

strip me bare
make it so there is nothing left to bare

these ways can not be called fair
yet my name
has already been shattered
into pieces

defeated by the losers she was

her wanderings were cut short
as she reminisced
the girl sat in the valley
of the withered roses
face scarred

hoping one day
she would find light

even if it was just a spark

her eyes had met more
than just the surface

it went further
than shallow waters

her thoughts were deeper
than the lowest point in the ocean

as she sat on the hill
covered in pink flower petals
with the wind silently flowing by
bringing a soft cherry smell
oh, how bittersweet it was

we should move
to the castle
on the hill above

we could spend our moons
singing songs so sweet
while watching those
beneath us

we would find the light
between the clouds
while the wind brings forth
a violet like perfume
dozing us into our dreams

if you were an atelier
i would take a visit everyday

treasure all that is inside of you

you are a wonderful piece
created by the masters

your smile could light up
a million different candles
while your eyes then formed little crescents
as ethereal as the moon

you felt as a summers day
in the middle of December

my cheeks would change colour
just at the mere thought of you

you were like a delicate flower
standing out in the fields

let us go to where
one can hear the angels sing
and the sky is painted
a soft pastel violet

let us go to where
one can jump on the clouds
but not fall
and the wind carries the melodies

let us go to where
one can dance all night
surrounded by light

oh, that would be
a wonderful sight

the last rays of sun
refracted through the window
paint the girls’ skin
a faint honey gold

dusk is upon
she sits at the table
brows furrowed

as her mind wanders
to those sweet days
not occupied
by cares

it was a mere figment

clouds in the water
drops in the sky

her wonders went up high

while orange and pink turned
dark and blue
the two young sat together
on the hill covered in flowers

the wind, now cooler on their skin,
carried a faint cherry smell
the two young exchanged words
that were just now set free

on this spring almost summer night
where there was no thunder in sight
the two young felt something bloom
as they each left their private room

on a warm summer night in July
a young girl settled down in the valley of roses
lips curved up in a smile
while the grass tickled her fingers
her eyes wandered up to the sky
at the stars who were beaming

the moon felt bright
she was in love with the sight

‘’we should live on mars”
she said
the boy turned to face the other
saw the stars in her eyes
and swore the girl was worth more
than the days and nights combined

“where even the fairies can’t find us”
she continued
the boy looked up at the sky
that had long turned dark
over the moon he was for her

together,
the two young sat on the hill
covered in pink
in their own little world
and the boy softly held her hand

angels were dancing
underneath the violet sky
they had found the light

drops fell to the ground
while the sun was beaming

“c’est trop beau!”
they sang
at the end of the rainbow

he carried the ocean in his eyes
it had never been flooded
till that one day
it spilled, flooding his mind
drowning his views
making him lost
until he would one day find,
the eye of the storm

plummeted into the depths
sounds were heard
yet too faint to be received

drowning in her thoughts

swimming in her never-ending cycle
she was out of breath
before she even knew where to head

as she spiralled down the rabbit hole
expecting wonderland
yet frightened she was
in the world of the aces

as the daisies began to wither
and the cakes now tasted bitter
doomed, her mind became
the list of impossible things was nothing but a card game

‘’off with her head!’’
she heard, faintly in the distance

mad had she become
and numb she went
in her wonder-turned-waste land

on the platform i stand
waiting for the midnight train to Paris
the wind brings with her
a sweet strawberry scent
i follow its lead
and am met with a pair of emerald eyes
carefully studying my complexion
i look away
a soft rosy colour on my cheeks appears

i can count the stars reflecting in your eyes
it brings joy to my heart
you give me a soft smile
as i return it
your eyes light up
as beautiful as the moonlight
gleaming over the water

my tears had dried out
like Sahara’s dessert
Oases no where to be found

as I lay there
almost alone
With company; the stars

‘what can be done?’
‘to one who can drop no more?’
The void did not answer

while moonlight gleamed over my self
i cried out for help
But it had lost its way

lonely I had become
so I was now
‘could it get worse?’

I was testing it’s limits

The darkness under my eyes
reveals for the observant
my ongoing struggle of
the way of going, being and finding
for the majority it is yet concealed
under a mask I appear
looking bluntly bliss

Around me is a cycle
spinning worlds all over
dazed and confused I turn
as lightning it hits
leaving a burned inside
with tension through the veins
I lay struck but awake

Chaos in my head
i’ve been feeling no regret
just chaos
chaos in my head

for a long time i have silently shun
not wanting to know what was there
avoiding that feeling out of place

being the omega
yet aspiring for the alpha

time has drastically changed
i feel more in place

but now this ache emerges
heading to my inner me
framing an image
something unlike i
picturing a fright
of this undesirable oblivion
remodeled into the mediocre masses

aware i am this will pass by
frankly speaking,
this angst brings determination
eventually leading to me
now with ongoing inspiration

chaos brings me balance