There is a big difference,
the way,
my heart was broken,
to the way,
a heart would usually break.
This is not a crack,
or your average fissured.
An explanation,
of how did this start,
would be in demand,
if ever eyes,
lay upon,
my awful looking heart.
It has a devastation to live with,
my heart is split,
with countless amount of openings,
that I feel,
every single day,
when I first open my eyes,
every single night,
before the last shut,
of my eyes.
The person responsible,
cleaved it,
with all her rights.
My heart is beating,
only because of the Lords grace,
among me.
Among the many,
shattered parts of my heart,
lies a big,
sharp piece,
This piece has a certain name on it,
It's the piece the doctor says,
is irreplaceable,
Untouchable,
and will eventually,
**** me.
The doctor told me,
only once,
everyday when I wake up,
To remember,
that the piece,
is half an inch,
deeper,
than it was yesterday.
Inside,
my poor little heart,
the tiny,
edgy bits,
of my demolished heart,
cover the space,
surgeons need,
to remove,
the big sharp piece.
My heart,
is not a heart anymore,
but a beating muscle,
that looks like,
a dried up anthurium,
ready to fall.
It has the bottom opening,
of an old fashioned bleeding heart,
but no color.
The heart,
I carry with me,
is very weak,
and unstable,
like water.
It has a day,
where it try's,
it's very best,
to pace the torture,
I put it through,
but,
the majority of days,
it cannot bare
and stops,
to scare me.

®*K.S

Today was a short day
I heard melodies within my heart
Saw the air breeze by with a pale face
Today
I learned to bleed without breathing
Sweat without physically moving.
I found that catching deep breathes is easy
Under water especially.

®KS

Imagine discovering yourself
what you love,
what excites you,
what makes you cry of joy.
All because you now know more about you,
Your happiness is cut short.
Everyone around you,
abandons what you think is true.
Now imagine they all tell you
it's not real.
Your excitement just comes and goes.
Although you cannot stare at what brings you joy
for too long because of tears
it is just
an illusion.

®KS

Dearest Dear,
What have you done?
In vain will be this death.
The somberness I carry,
finally,
will cross the finish line & breathe.
On the count of three,
I will make sure you sleep better at night.
Protect you,
as if alive,
As it should've been.
You owned  a
Soul,
here on Earth.
It wails for you.
Stand back,
after just fourteen days,
It would be as if,
I was never here.
You will be in peace,
I'll make sure from the Other side,
Because even after this life,
I will love you.
Yes,
I actually, really,
Love you.
One,
Two,
Three.



®*K.S

You became my heart
Four years and eight months ago.
Through the windows
Of love
I envisioned you
Forever
For so long
irapairable and
Microscopic
Was the musle
Left
of my heart.
Superwoman
Has nothing on you
An angel
Grace
you brought upon me

®K.S

Dear Father,

Bless her life with every wish her pretty little heart desires,
Give her the best in this lifetime Lord,
I hope You bless her with a husband that has an amount of love,
only mothers carry for their child,
May her tears be bottled up and sent up to heaven,
for double the blessings,
For if she ever is in fear Lord let me feel it,
I will pray and ask that You,
Father,
send angles to protect her,
and make her fearless,
May her walk through life be full of light and never derail into darkness,
May my prayers for her kids and their kids be answered for the blessing,
of her next generation,
May her kisses be cherished and hugs be adored,
Lord,
From deep inside my heart,
I plead that every surprise she receives will be wealthy,
and make her as happy as can be,
Though You have forbid me from ever tasting her flesh again,
I hope You,
O' Lord,
ravish her day by day,
I will be the loudest in Heaven when she arrives Christ,
For her spirit deserves cheers and the loudest round of applause that can exist,
May she never be alone,
but always happy and in companion with the Holy Spirit,  
God,
you know,
If I reminisce two hundred times a day about what we once had,
two hundred times I will bless her soul,
Let her have a life with no worries Father,
You have made her fortunate by much,
She is irreplaceable here on Earth,
An exclusive original sent from You above,
Lord,
this is from deep in my gloom and melancholy heart,
because every single day,
I remember the blessing afternoon we met,
It was a pleasure meeting her Father,
Bless her,
it was a gift,
It was more than what I could have ever asked for Father,
because what I ask for,
is diminutive next to Her.

Amen.

®*K.S

I am a leaf that just fell off the tip of your branch,
I am heading to where the wind takes me.
I have no direction.
I am the empty space besides the grave
of a dead one.
I am that waiting soul expecting death.
I am the roof of a house with no entrance or exit.
the ghost town no one wants to go to.
When you go to a farm,
you can find me with all the other grass.
I'm no different
every other man regrets deeply what he did
daily he deals with his affliction.
In a hospital,
I am the white paint on the wall
everyone looks at but doesn't touch or talk about.
My days past
now this memory is a song on repeat.
Inside of a house,
I am the garbage bag.
Everyone knows
but no one cares,
they throw me out at the end of every day.
I stand firm everyday
like the railings of a bed,
but this love is dying,
like the man with cancer inside his heart.
I am the bomb created by men
Having a time and day to go off.
Is it not true?
the heart bleeds
when trying to escape the dungeons of love?
Maybe,
I hope,
I'm going to wake up and light
what shall be the death of me,
I shall light
whats going to be my afterlife,
all because of you.
I will light a flame
But feel the burns on my body
the rest of my time
here on Earth
all because of your beautiful memory.
I'm not ok with your memory,
I cannot have you in my mind,
It's a torture for my soul.
I can feel the energy shoving my soul
out of my body
every single second
I think about you.

®*K.S

I pretend you died.
This way,
It's easier to breathe.
My envision was getting married,
after seeing you,
walk down the center of a Castle in the middle of an island.
There was a day in a year,
My envision was lost.
The day you left,
I lost faith in life.
My imagination,
does not run without you.
Now I live,
with a loose bull inside me.
After you,
My red cape.


*K.S

The vision is unique and deserves praise.
How can you send vibrations without saying anything?
Frequencies have nothing on you,
As you step,
the world stutters in front of you.
Despite the energy in the air,
you control the mood swings.
I am outside of my body,
looking into a mirage,
looking at you.
Come back to life,
It's easy to fall out of love,
hold my hand,
hang tight.
Seat belts could save your life
You are the seatbelt never fastened.
I am the car whose life means
less.

You reading this have no idea
the depth of love,
the frequencies of lust.
How far they raise beyond
when our eyes meet.
Each time our souls met,
I saw your sensuality,
Our signs permitted
spiritual connection
linking our emotions to
'cupid'

When I awake,
Take a look in the mirror,
Staring at your soul
I realize
How can I
Or will I ever,
See my mind,
Again.
I know, says him
I know exactly what you need,
Nothing is there for you to do,
Shall you **** first?
Take the snort instead,
Than the Stars of the now
And past
Will be bits,
Put along side next to you.
The cameras won't stop flashing
Every block you turn
Every one and their mother,  
cannot wait to find
you.
Dressed in fashion too,
A spoiled brat,
You will be.
Everyday,
Will be perfect.
With your favorite small luxuries
of Life

®*K.S

You will never be able to enjoy life
Without beauty behold your eyes
That ignition to a flame inside
Breaking down tears to your eyes
Full of charm is the world
But only one aroma is perfect
Only beauty is spoken out of your lips
Witness the extravaganza

®K.S

I've been racing,
Fighting against time to get away from you.
Swept up from behind,
Was the love I bled;
It was gone.
I've been sinning,
Blasphemy my tongue never knew,
Drugs my lungs couldn't take
Enemies cried seeing the evil my eyes gleamed.
I was awful.
Look at my blood;
It's blue.
Peep into the heart inside me,
See how there is only half?
Bet you never knew.
Calling me a liar?
Because it's been a century,
And,
I still love you?
Switching up your emotions never works,
My emotions have never switched,
The only switch was you.

®*K.S

What's not to love?
The obvious always seems so boring,
With you I jitter and laugh.
I now live,
Expecting unconditional love.
Constantly I miss and adore,
your touch.
We float with no gravity.

®KS

I believe,
All along you were a waste.
I believe that you,
Have been a hypocrite since day one.
Expecting me to change,
Not knowing my love is only yours.
Knowing there was no air,
between Us.
I need not,
Crawl to what you do not understand,
is already mine.
Knowing I yearned your wrath every,
I said every,
Last breath of air I take.
Now you see?
You were an actor of first,
Deceitful piece of garbage.
You don't love me.
You never did.
As much love as I have,
I deserve forgiveness,
countless amounts of time.
Leave
get away from me,
Only when you die and,
let God explain,
How much
time you should have wasted trying
to make it work.

®*K.S

I see you here with me now,
Over many years ago,
You left.
Guilty and latched in my own heart,
My soul was sentenced for his conviction.
Writing about things that one day we discovered,
It seemed normal.
The day had a blue sky and the sun was out.
It was not normal for my soul,
When I saw you,
I found my other half.
It's hard to love you without saying anything,
It is harder to demonstrate such love without ever seeing you.
Difficult is my life,
Without the love you carry.
Never  have I seen a man so deeply in love,
Before the age of 14.
I said "I love you" and as my mouth closed,
Between my teeth was a pistol with a bullet.
You put it there to get away.
I pulled the trigger.
Dead was I from that moment on,
I am a chicken laying eggs of a scorpion,
A wire brush cleaning teeth.
When I get to heaven,
It will rain money.
My spirit tries to get back to you twice a year,
by the time you are aware
God came to take his people.
only in that rush will you know I will forever love you.
I am a *** dog in the streets,
My owner says I'm dead,
I have no teeth to eat.
I keep walking slowly during the day,
Hoping my spirit is bought back to me.
The hollow wall in my heart was never closed,
My chest hurts to think about it.
Let my spirit go,
I do not want to love you anymore.
I find it hard to forget,
And I do not earn enough to clear you out.
I write or paint my dire hunger for you,
I release pain this way.
I cannot wait to be awake.
Heaven or Hell,
It must be better than in love with you.
If this dog is lying down,
I feel the bullet inside me,
I feel like what I am,
A dead animal.

®K.S

Coffee is my favorite drug
It glorifies
my saintly desire
To improve.
Greeting life in the sun
With ice cream
For breakfast.
Curiosity
Factors
every motivation.
We love to
Die for pleasure
Yet
We wonder
how pleasure
Dies for you.

®K.S

No matter what happens here,
One day,
It will all end.
Despite the love,
Every day
I think about my wake.
Will you be there?
I will.
I'd love to know,
What your tears look like,
A shame is this I
tell you
I
Have to past,
To see you again.
Look at me,
I'm smiling
I
Breathe and I breathe,
Knowing
It'll all end .

®*K.S

Exquisitely surrounded by the color of peace,
Out of your face jumps the notion of

"how can this be?"

Your eyes look down to move forward
As if
the floor is lighting up taking your steps.
Behind you the sun sets,
your highness?

"where is your crown?"

The golden curl leaf's match your red shades,
in between the weeping cherries are white heels
Only you
can tie your hair up
wear a light green dress
and runway walk in a garden

You were my way of living,
My happiness.
It was never my objective,
It was Gods plan.
Meeting you and greeting love.
My ways are those
That you perform
Subconsciously.
I'm behind your mind,
Inside your heart.
I was and forever
will be
What you preach and practice.
You are mine,
Meant to be is our legacy,
Forever will my soul,
Be yours.

*K.S

What makes your emotion grow?
Is it the same things that make you
hallucinate?
There has never been a more visible
Emotion
Than in anger.
For when you are sad even the sky
Cries.
Laughing and smiling
Are so distant
Yet inside,
close.
You may envision flames,
I may see flowers.
Where thy is placed
Is what sets us apart.
Like a bomb
My tenderness ends,
How rude am I when annoyed,
Says my body
Says my tongue.
Humans get excited with money
What am I?

®KS

Bashful Liar.
The world is evil,
You took the walls inside my heart the day you left.
Under my eyelids are your initials,
I wake up,
Only to think about you.
I used sharp glass to carve our date on my forearm,
I sent my veins the wrong message.
My good weaves all have doubt,
They vent on paper when I write forever,
my veins notice as I smoke.
My smile was light to your eyes,
as your eyes would light,
My eyes would tear with joy.
Catching that same guilty taste on my tongue.

I'm walking down the fishing pier at this moment,
I'll dip the jar I have been using to save the tears I shed for you,
I'm watching them go down into the water now,
Like my body going towards hell,
when it dies because of you.

®K.S

Let me ask
Your answer is meaningless
I will never have you.
Melancholy is my life,
Let me thank you in advance.
You've been missing in my heart,
For exactly seven years,
Why am I still counting?
Where is my gun?
I can't find my bullets
The one with your name on it,
Finally,
Something to fill your void.

®K.S

The energy in the air has found wind,
it took off
Looking back was only
I
The whole time, it was only
I
Now the days off,
look like every other
The sun wasn't lying,
The moon kept it secret
all this time,
a lie.
Feelings of butterflies,
aggregating
with vivid ideas
hence,
the lamentation

®KS

They never come without
love or cuddles.
Despite what anyone may say
they never end.
An absolute necessity,
craving desire,
you always find your way back too.
Loving this much
has made you weak,
kisses are what keeps your soul sturdy.

®KS

Upon ye,
The mercy will never be seen.
Reckless am I,
Settling for less
Visualizing the more
Behold,
We are alive
Another piece of meat
in the air
Controlled
by the next demon passing by
We are
Filled up like a balloon
With the blood of Christ
Yet thou,
Only believe
In
what you see,
What you feel
Forever
is inside,
Let us not
Weep.
Weak is the heart
At the time of death
There,
thy eyes bleed.


®K.S

Happy,
But alone.
You miss me so much
I can see it in your eyes and look
The make up screams at me
The quotes are indirect
It's beautiful to see and quite frankly
I miss you too

Smelling gasoline is really good,
I want to be bad.
Loving you is wrong,
I don't want to be right.
Beware of the fence of love,
I head straight in.
If you've forgotten how to love,
Yell it to me.
Black is the color of my heart,
Let me speak the way I speak.
You and I are dead,
you text, I call you back.
A ****** building a house,
I made mine in the sand.
Sleeping near death,
Get me a pillow.
My body is lit in flames,
Now I shall sit.
Cigars with alcohol is soft,
Coke with ecstasy is just right.
Being suicidal is okay,
I only cut my throat half way.
Replaying memories from the past,
Relying on my future is meaningless.
I have no goals in this life.
Go run
until you throw up,
I do that in my sleep.
Give yourself a break, they say,
I keep going until it breaks.
Showering with you again,
The sewer is much like my bathtub.
Love me again
Repetition is for a naive.
Forgive and forget,
a spell with no solution.
A dog not eating its own feces,
yes, that's exactly
how hungry I am.
Waiting for the sun to come up,
yet
The sun waiting to explode.

®*K.S

We are hurricanes,
leaving behind traces of who we are.
Separated by categories,
are the souls of every individual.
We seem to be dangerous,
others catastrophic.
One leaves you alive,
for you to later
find a way and get back up.
To think the next one could be,
one of your parents,
a new or old lover.
Bashing through your soul,
a friend or relative,
rips.
Leaving your body uninhabitable,
seizing to exist.
The soul inside can take it all,
but for how long?

®KS

Can't stop me now baby,
This rhythm is just starting.
If anything
it's building up,
Getting stronger by the second,
Like the baby we first had
Remember that,
The baby called
Love,
It was born and is still growing,
by the moment,
As you read,
Something you cannot stop babe.
Look at me go beautiful,
Im sticking to it like a fean,
I am on it,
This is where I get better baby,
Right in the middle
****,
I'm pumping love,
Every second of my heart,
I am nonstop,
So believe me I have no end,
No slow pokes around here lovey
All I see is green,
I'm on the chase,
How about you show yourself ?
Do it,
I might stop.

®*K.S

In January I am weak,
Late at night when everyone is asleep,
The cold makes my heart jump a beat.
Every February hearts roam the air,
Why am I so weak,
my heart is barely there?
March is full of three leaf clovers,
but my high wont leave,
I am drunk and cannot remember the last time I was sober.
I play the fool every single day of April,
clearly the world can see,
that I have never been stable.
In May the flowers are rising,
but my flower died,
I am only feeding water to the roots inside me.
No June has passed without me over-thinking,
every beginning of summer my head is over heating.
I see myself in the mirror every time it hits July,
the clouds move slower,
just like every lie,
I ever told you!
August is your birthday,
I am here about to throw myself,
into a bay.
September is like my refugee,
I torture myself,
by putting my hand on several bumblebee's.
On every pumpkin I carve a mad face in October,
These rhymes are driving me crazy,
put me to sleep,
I want to be sober.
November the month of my Scorpio,
Virgo, Leo, Cancer  Xanax is the cause of my slowness,.
The end is finally here,
the month of December,
three hundred and sixty five days has passed,
Hopefully next year,
your name I wont remember.

®*K.S

Observe a cup
detailed with Urdu letters
Sitting down
You only understand English.
Concentration
does nothing.
Do you ever find new reasons to try harder?
Understanding
is objective.
Grasp a rose without bleeding,
I found the purpose to watch the blood drip
Pretext before your eyes.
Watch me not clean the floor,
It's all red.
The way it should be.
Try being
happy
Without reason.

®K.S

I tried looking away
your beauty still lingers on me
mesmerizingly evil.
A shame to look at
I rather bleed on paper.
A sin to think about
I much rather talk in sly secret.
Suggestions?
Being fed to the wolves isn't too bad.
get away from this dangerous,
Devious thought of
desiring you.

Driving tractor-trailers,
We switch gears because we feel the gear is giving out,
because there is a hill or curve approaching.
We learn that we are to inspect our tractor and trailer before
and,
after each trip.

In life,
our tractor motor is our soul,
our body is the tractor.
We are driving along the road of life.
Some of us are still learning how to switch gears.
Many of us don't know when a curve is approaching,
nevertheless a hill.
Many people inspect their bodies,
forget they have a soul.

®KS

This pain is so deep,
I love you but
you don't love me.
This agony I feel to leave you
behind
is so strong,
my mind can't bare
this feeling.
I love you so much
but
you do not love me.
I feel as if I don't leave you
I'm never going to be happy,
and yet this pain only grows stronger.
Love I cannot stop loving you
although, you cannot love me.
I've left you far behind and threw you deep
down into the sea,
but only in my mind,
because in my heart
your as animated as can be.
I cannot believe I have loved you for so long,
but you seem to never have loved me.
Alcohol kills
my liver,
as I drink
in a fine glass cup
that has sharp edges,
my lips begin to bleed.
I have loved you for so long now,
but you never once loved me.
At times I want to shred
the glass into bits,
put it to boil with rice,
take a few bites and call it
'The End'.
For I do not want to live,
loving you
knowing you
don't love me.
I never had you because
I once let you go,
yet your return I await.
I still do not have you today.
I really only loved you
Love
but it is just so sad that you
really never loved me.
Goodbye you said to me,
and goodbye I said to my life,
goodbye
love.
I will always and forever love you.
But must I remember,
You cannot love me.

®*K.S

And there I saw your face in the high waters,
it was ugly.
I hated it because you discovered,
the real me.
Unselfish and wanting to distribute,
unconditional love,
Original
falls short of an expression.
I lost the sight of you along the hot water
it was love
it looked like
lust.

Being trapped,
is
Loving someone,
whom you know,
you will only and forever love
yet
will never see again.
You are trapped.
You feel the pain
that person went through
everyday
as you awake.
Yes,
that single and
one night
they spent
crying
for you.
Every tear that came down
has been a year
of suffering.

®*K.S

I was always gone,
Bliss will be the music at my procession,
Smiling am I inside my see-through glass hearse
February,
The month where most flowers end up in the *******,
Sick am I of being a lover.

I can make pretend everything is okay
As if the rose I once planted was not dead long ago.
It's as beautiful as you can think.

Discovering dimensions of death
Look at how beautiful life is without you.
A millionaire on his throne.

I discover more of me
the more I find in you.

I am the air that sings inside your heart,
before you lay to sleep at night.

®K.S

You remind me of what it feels like
to know the smell of pancakes are being made,
when first waking up.
That single letter reminds me of a Mother's face after labor,
the eyes of her holding the child,
Have you ever layed in the grass and gaze at a sky full of stars?
Every smile and glare with happiness,
is what that one letter,
makes my mind recall.
I saw a picture of you,
in me today.
The knot you tied on my tie was off by just a bit,
you always said perfect does not exist.
There they were,
My eyes shining with you
I was smiling and your teeth were white.
That morning,
my toothbrush was made with toothpaste,
before I got to the bathroom,
you had it ready to go.
Like the letter that will never disappear,
I will always have to brush my teeth.


®K.S

It's not easy.
finding a way to breathe,
a true sigh of happiness.

I despise when,
every beat to the heart,
is miserable.
Makes everyone surrounding that soul,
cry.

It's more difficult,
to live without purpose.

How do you,
Spend your hours of the day inhaling,
what seem to be
joy.

Without exhaling toxic,
before bed.

®K.S