I used to write that date everywhere
Now I wish I could erase it

Before you I was clueless and I was broken
But when I found you I finally felt like I had a purpose
I was adapted to you
I was adapted to waking up every morning knowing that somebody loved me
I was adapted to people looking at us in awe because of what we had
We were beautiful
And I was adapted to that
I was adapted to doing things a certain way to make you happy
I was adapted to the way your hand fit in mine
And now I’m lost and clueless and broken yet again

Lets run away
For just a day
I don't know where
But we'll get there
Somewhere far
We can go by feet, train, or car
We'll stay and take it all in
While we watch the rest of our lives begin
Maybe I'll lean in and give you a kiss
Or maybe that's a chance I'll have to miss
But any time with you
Is time well spent, it's true
So let's go on an adventure just me and you

I really hope I can make this work
I've said a lot of hurtful words
To the ones I've loved before
And I can't take those words back
I kinda ****
I'm awkward
I'm pretty dumb
I say things before I think and ruin everything
But my intentions are never bad
I never mean to make people sad
I can also be a little too trusting at times
Yet I still get jealous very easily
If I ever seem like I don't care
It's just because I'm scared
I don't want to say the wrong thing and mess everything up
Also I get attached really fast
Because of certain things in my past
I'll get to that later
But right now
I just want you to know
You are the only ******* my mind at the moment
And that will stay that way for a while

I gave him the look like I've done with every guy around you
And when they touch you I freak out

Love me
Hold me
Never let go of me

I fight in this same battle every day
I'm losing this same battle every time I fight in it
Yet I'm still fighting
Why am I still fighting even though I know I will lose every time?

I've always looked up to you
You were always so cool and awesome to me
You were always so strong
You were so protective of me
You always knew how to make me feel better when I was sad
You always knew how to calm me down when I was freaking out
You would harm yourself and I never knew why until now
You've never stopped harming yourself but I don't blame you
And I promise I won't shame you
I am sorry
I know you think I gave up on you
But I am the only one who hasn't

I mean I'm trying not to be
But I'm numb
I can't help it

It's always the smile that makes me come running
It's just that simple yet so stunning
I found a new girl with a new smile
A new heart, I can stay awhile
I don't know if she sees me the same
But that's not really my aim
I want her, but at the same time I don't
Make my move? I probably won't

I don't know what you want
But I could give it to you
All you gotta do is tell me what to do
If you want me you have me
Baby don't play me

I make bad decisions
I'm sorry but I'm not
I'm sorry you don't agree with my decisions
I am not sorry for the decisions that I make
I am living life
Let me LIVE

I want you to be
My last dance
My last kiss
My last chance
My last wish
My last love
My last laugh
My last hug
My last half
My last start
My last end
My last heart
My last mend
My last day
My last night
My last way
My last right
My last

I'm sorry that I'm staring
I know it's kind of daring
It's hard to look away from something so beautiful
I'm giving in as usual
I feel so warm when I look at you
I know it's weird but it's true
You won't let me have your love
So at least let me have the view

It's been too long
And she's my favorite song
That I miss hearing
Something very endearing
It's the song I dance to when I'm alone
But I can't hear it now that I'm home
I miss her very badly
I'll see her soon though, gladly

I'm caught in the middle
I'm trapped in between
This is always happening
I'm constantly surrounded by emotions
Mine your his hers
I'm constantly giving my devotion
To both sides
Can't tell which one is right
I'm caught in the middle of both things I like
Caught in the middle of friends in a fight
I want a break I want an answer
Lord, please give me the answer
Which one should I choose
I have so much to lose
Is it just an excuse?

My options are limited
And my time is way too long
It's quite unfortunate
I don't know what I'm doing wrong
I know the problem
I just don't know the solution
I've hit rock bottom
Now I welcome prosecution
They see me as a burden
I shouldn't be here
I open up the curtain
And let the sun sear
Now we're all on fire
I let in the heat
They fight against desire
I'm the the one to mistreat
I must make a decision
I'm just too naive
One thing they always mention
I must change or leave

Everything happens for a reason
I made a terrible mistake
But in doing so
I found you again
I'm closer to you than ever before
You really do work in mysterious ways

I don't want to be alive anymore
I am a bad person
I cannot live
I cannot change the way people view me
I cannot change the way people treat me
I want to be better
I want them to know that I'm trying to be better

I don’t know who you are
And maybe you don’t either
But you are gonna be the love of my life
And I just can’t wait to meet you
I know I can be a lot to handle sometimes
But I promise I will always be there when you need me
And I will always love you no matter what
And I will never let anyone hurt you
And I will never break your heart
Just trust me and love me
And I’ll give you the world
I love you with all my heart
                                    Love,
                 ­                     Your not so secret admirer

I'll never be good enough
Might as well end it.

Don't feel
   Don't feel
     Don't fall for her again
       **** it you did it again!

Why can't you just be happy with me
Stop getting mad
I know I'm stupid
But that's just too bad
Let me be me
And you can be you
I don't get mad at you
Cause I don't have to
Just be okay
Let me be enough
Don't make me mad
Don't make me stand up

Don't talk
Don't think
Just walk
With me
Just listen
To the sounds of the breeze
You're my addiction
I'm begging on my knees
Don't talk
Don't blink
Just watch me
As I move closer and closer
As we move slower and slower
Put your hand on my shoulder
I'll let you take over

"Welcome," I say loud enough for the whole world to hear me
"Wipe your feet on me. I don't mind."
Some have even stomped their feet on me
It hurts and it has left many marks
I don't think I want to be a doormat anymore

Too much work
I don’t wanna work that hard for peace
It’s too painful too
I want to feel something but not anything that extreme
Not the right way

All those games of Duck Duck Goose
I'm the one you never choose
The geese before me couldn't catch you
You're scared to choose me because of what I'll do
I will run faster than ever
Just to be with you "forever"
Please choose me, give me a chance
Just let me hold your hand

I feel empty
I feel as if every bone in my body has given up on me
I feel as if my heart no longer exists
I feel so broken
So alone
I can’t look away from my phone
I’m hurting
I’m crying
I feel like I’m dying
Maybe I’m already dead
I’m stuck in my bed
I can’t get up
Maybe my bed is my casket
And maybe my engines missing the gasket
Because all my loved ones have left me
So maybe that’s why I feel so empty

I want to be alone
This is rare because I like people
They keep me sane
But right now
It's just the opposite
I'm tired

We are bonded
Unbreakable
The stupid things we do
Just bring us closer together
We have super powers
We are indestructible
We are more than just friends
We have three strong qualities
Faith, Hope, and Love
We would crawl through each others windows just to be together
We find joy in the dumbest things
We stay up and watch the sunrise together
We are crazy
We are a beautiful mess
We are best friends for life
Best friends forever
They hate that I'm not confident
They see me as
Funny, crazy, smart, a good friend, a great friend, their best friend
And I see them the same
The time we spend apart from each other is torture
But when we see each other all the pain goes away
I could be filled with rage
But they would be able to calm me down instantly
Can we be split apart?
No

It's funny how things happen
Always at the perfect moment
Whether you think it's perfect or not
Soon you see why that happened
And why that happened when it happened
You might hate that it happened
But it happened for reason
Just like the weather
And all of the seasons

I've been told one thing my entire life
Grow a pair
I've been tossed around from house to house
I've been abused and mistreated
I've been hurt a lot
I've never been taught
And I never ever retreated
But they still tell me
Grow a pair
I've seen some things
I can't unsee
And I've been told some things
That really hurt me
And I act okay on the outside
But on the inside I'm not alright
I stay up all night
Cause I can't sleep
All the memories
Are surrounding me
And suddenly
I find myself
I'm a position
Where I'm helpless
And I remember what they used to say
Grow a pair
And yet again
I'm stuck thinking
About the things I been through
And yet again
I'm wondering
If what they said was really true
Do I still need to
Grow a pair
And yea I let them not me
But it's not because I'm a *****
It's because I don't really give a ****
And that **** don't really bother me
Now words are different
Cause they sink in deep
And torture the **** outta me
Till I can't sleep
And now I'm stuck crying in my pillow
Worrying about tomorrow
And now through all these tears
I'm realizing that I still need to
Grow a pair

I'm happy
Because you're here
It's a weird feeling
A foreign feeling in a sense
I like it
But I'm afraid to lose it
It's okay because I'm happy
If I lose it so what
It was fun while it lasted
Thank you
For being my one source of happiness

New year
New me
LOL

Watching you cry yesterday was like drowning in a pool of your tears
I hated seeing you happy
But now, I wish I could take all those tears and see you smile again
But what were you thinking?
Did you think that you could get away with that?
You weren't in love
You were just entertained
By the idea of someone new
Someone different
But you broke the code
And that's hard to repair
I have to side with her this time
I'm sorry

I get mad
And I say things that I later regret

I'm not going anywhere
We can work things out
We always do
This only makes us stronger

Your smile kills me
Because I can't see it all the time
Your heart breaks mine
Because it doesn't beat for me
Your scent makes me suffer
Because I long for it when you're gone
Your laugh makes me cry
Because I don't get to hear it when I wake up in the morning
Your pain makes me scream in anger
Because you don't deserve it
Your love has left me incomplete
Because I need it but can't have it

You make me smile
You make me warm
I can’t let go
Even though you are the storm

I’m thinking about you again.
I told myself I would stop.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
Your smile is stuck in my head.
I miss you.
I want to run to you and hug you for a very long time and tell you
I love you.
I want you to be here next to me.
I want you to tell me
everything is going to be okay.

Man y'all **** me off
But I wouldn't trade any of this for any amount
And honestly sometimes I wish I would

I did it and I like it
And for once I'm not afraid of what people think

I don’t care about your girlfriend
Be my girlfriend
I’ll treat you better
And do things she could never
She’s cheating on you by the way
But you’ll find out someday
And when you do I’ll be there for you
Like you wanted me to
When I wasn’t okay
But now I’m okay
I have changed
And I want you to be my bae
Again...

If I decide to leave this world
I want to say a few things first
Number one: All I wanted was love
Love, the only thing I wanted
I fought so hard for it
But never got it
You think you're doing the right thing, you're not
I'm not okay
I'm broken and love can heal me but I don't have it
I'm exhausted
I need to sleep
But I have a few more things to say before I make my final decision

Number two: To my friends
Y'all did a good job
A great job
Y'all kept me sane for a good bit
But now I'm left with nothing
I can't be left alone
I keep on making mistakes and y'all can't help me
Let go
I love y'all