Drain the venom with your pen
write it out,
until it wraps around you.

Stem the bloodflow
use it as a tourniquet
spit out the poison onto paper.

This world was made to devour
unhinging its jaw,
seeking to binge on us.

Do not be afraid
be forewarned;
take off the head of the hydra
and be resolved to continue with the cause.

I want to know you
but you are another world away;
a barrier stands between us
my words don't reach your ears.

I need to know you more
to love you better,
or my feelings remain incomplete.

Within your eyes I see a distance
it becomes a cancerous growth,
and our relationship shrinks,
from lack of communication,
redeemable therapy.

The action is mine
a decision held within my hands,
to give away, jettison my pride,
and finally speak to life that you recognize.

Raise the ******* high
to salute the fairness of life,
a signal to the clan of the world;
to those blameless few,
content to merely pass through,
it becomes a warning
to those other wretched ones.

The fur and pelt of clothes
becomes a second skin,
animals on the mountain once more;
half covered by white curses
bodies pocketed in snow,
the chilling embrace of eternal season,
reaches all that know
and are deeply felt in the bones,
by brethren and coven alike.

It is the flag of Everest
to mark how far we have come;
ignore the scar tissue
hunger pangs and brokenness
and climb upward to find a perch,
as thin breath of the lungs remains.

Come out from the caves
and seek your mantle;
where others have fallen,
from the towering heights.
Despite the consuming frost-bite,
the finger remains on the tallest peak,
as a cross to bless other weary pilgrims.

You are exhausting---

The constant hammer
that falls upon my head;
driving me to fulfill a goal,
making me always think,
with ideas that keep me fed.

Years before---

I was feral as a man
wild of tooth and tongue.
Uncaring in my approach
both aimless and blameless,
from the badge of being young.

Still---

Out of the faceless crowd
I chose an expression,
imprinted now, only you would do.
To save me from my sickness,
and secret life that only you knew.

That stubborness---

I can not quit because of it
and so I reach to climb;
through thorn and thistle,
moving higher, higher still,
until I reach that azure sky.

However---

Once I'm staring at it
I feel it's just not true.
Thinking ******* the challenge
I dig up through cloud and heaven,
and continue on my way...

Because you taught me to.

When it settles
it clings to my lungs
and I breathe in,
until it becomes me.

Whether ash or rust I can not say
but it binds to me either way.
What I am becoming
from setting sun to dawning day,
be it man of dust or man of clay;
I do not know
I can not say.

Perhaps----
mercy forfend,
the breeze will carry me away.
Cast down the street in piles and droves
spread out to where other humans stay,
forgotten like scattered salt,
or neglected ashtray.

Flakes of prayers
left to swirl about,
and gather in the storm,
or lay sleeping in the gutter.

Perhaps---
There might be a day
in my sojourn,
where it shall be
my humble priviledge,
to renew the ground where youth can play.

But with arid lungs,
without mouth and tongue
I do not know
and I can not say.

I've lied once
I lie now
I'm venomous
I'll show you how
Come in close
Don't look away
Illusions dance
Creations dream
Gods can't die
But they can scream
So many pretty things
Block your way
Now I've done my trick
And here you'll stay.

I think I've been forgotten
nobody knows
how long I've been away
however, in the details
the uncertainty shows.

There is no grave,
no marker
no way to pay respects
so please just move along
and just continue to forget.

This land was once an eternity
until the gray line dissected it
now there is gasoline and chains
the sinew that winds around every bit
this is not an illusion
but in the end,
it makes you ill enough.

Each day is of the phoenix
so let us leave the former ashes behind;
rise above the strife that plagued us
as only yesterday could,
and stand on the newly formed magma
of today's covenant,
when it finally cools on our lips.

Please---
shelve my wounded pride
and without flowers
with no mention or memoriam
bury me alive.

Darling child,
there is nothing I can give to you
except for the fear that was placed in me
a long time ago
once when I crowed loudly as a youth
then was bludgeoned with words
lessons meant to cage and keep me
and my ribcage still houses that fear
however, you should be glad to know
that my love for you now speaks louder.

This is the last conversation
the final goodbye
looking at our life together
and the mess we made
we found our sweet disaster
when there is no pain
no downpour,
no outcry,
and no more rain.

Systems cease
organic beast
lies ever still.

Memory remains
observing stains
of the ****.

Think about it---
with so many things left undone
and so many words not being said
no wonder there are so many ghosts
and so few bedsheets.

Drowning,
I can see the shore
I am closer now
than I was before
a playful breeze at my back
the feverish sun sinking low
only a little more left now,
a few hundred miles to go.

To all the enslaved
that are still in debt
I nail this note
to a wooden frame
that you still need to open.
for all of you,
that have tasted society's boot
I tell you---
bide your time
turn the other cheek
and learn to respire
you will outlast the fake
outlive all the ungrateful
and become the one true legacy.

A call to brokenness
A call to arms

Recall our love
Recall our charms

We are not done
We are not through

I bleed for us
I bleed for you.

The world seeks out the youth in me
waiting to devour it eagerly
wanting to remember the flavor.
Lukewarm without seasoning,
consuming it---
first body, as sparse appetizer
then soul, as both dessert and entree.

Mistakes are used as marinade
drowned in salt and vinegar
the recipe of all humanity
before I am tenderized,
with each violent flash of the silver mallet.

Finally plated---
on the finest china
surrounded by soft flowing table cloth,
and folded napkin of regret.

Mind the spotless silverware
once cut, the juices begin to flow.
The menu is carried away
and the wine list is red.

I am revealed
then served with a green garnish;
under the nose of unforgiving critics
whose taste buds had withered long ago.

In a sacred garden
where no one treads,
the wildness claims all;
overrun, overgrown
none can observe
nothing is known.

There is no friend here for you
once trust is betrayed
no paradise to be shown
the path is blocked
no way to return to home.

Yet, I---
here I remain, here I become,
for all seasons that come and go;
a living epithet of past Adam and Eve
I am the angel
who holds the withered branch
with a story none shall believe.

There is so much
want in me
sometimes it's scary.

It becomes---
a hole I cannot fill.

Giving birth to
a whole other person
that I can not please.

Bound up in anxiety
then left outside myself
to freeze.

My heart stays on a hill
always out of reach
just above the crashing waves
well below the lighthouse keep

Salt is thick in my veins
with lungs that breathe too deep
I can not turn back now
because the price would be too steep.

I'll sing a song
of Sophie
and the life I've left behind
I've kept all your love notes
but I never found the time
to write you back
I lost track
it always slipped my mind
until the day I lost you
and I could no longer
call you mine.

Such angry hunger pains
how the world quivers and shakes,
while men and women
fresh from their work,
whisper the toll it takes;
as clay forms lay listening
glistening, and salted in their beds.

However, not an alarm is raised
not a single head turns
we are safe, comes the lie
we are secure, comes the swallowed pill.

As we close our eyes
and prepare for borrowed sleep
I think with great dismay:
oh, what a difference,
does indifference make for us sheep.

Your skin,
is the color of a rusty gate
your teeth,
collapse like the colliseusm
your arms,
flap gracefully like an albatross
and your eyes,
remain a mausoleum.

(EVIDENCE: Prior to her arrest, this romantic Valentine's Day card was found next to the bullet riddled body of Mrs. Hubbert's husband)

Alone in the coliseum
the dust swept cage
I hear the lions come
all people of wealth
add to the roar of the crowd
I offer a silent prayer
in order to drown out the beasts
the terrible gnashing of teeth
persecution offered as entertainment
an execution becomes spectacle
and my only crime is belief.

Sometimes---
I just don't know
I just say I'm fine
when really I'm not
my soul is on fire
screaming on the inside
and my sense of worth is shot.

Sometimes---
I don't know
what makes me breathe each day
the hand that stirs the ***
the urge that pushes me to the end
I have never seen this book being written
perhaps I am just waiting to transcend.

I raised my voice today
You only tuned me out again
The pregnancy wasn't planned
But it was a chance to begin

You reached out to me
then knocked me to the floor
feeling betrayal
at how my body
so willingly accepted the gift of yours

You were scared
And so was I
the choice was ours
and it became our guilt
as the life inside me went away

Finally----
as day led on to coupled day
the only surprise left
was departed touch
as did our love
until nothing stayed.

Relax,
and breathe in the sour mange,
tread marks etched into asphalt.
what can it be?
what was it before?
only the smell of tomorrow.
I guess---
we'll never know now
why it tried to cross the street.

My life is on the tethered line
as I watch you go by
dirt caked, through dusty eyes
on those legs that have no restraints.

Those young ones leave the yard
and return to it without issue
I am amazed
there is nothing chained to them.

Why do I have chains...
What is my purpose...
Where is my master's presence...

These questions do little to give me warmth
as the earth gathers around me
and collects inside my nostrils.

I keep the seasons in my fur
And snow and leaves cover me
Like a ***** blanket.

Where is my kind master...
He brought me here
to share this life
then deserted me
just out of reach
I think of you as God
so please don't cast me aside.

I'll sit here as faithful servant
beside my empty bowl
and pray some more
for the master to return
when my tears turn to mud
I will know
that I have been on my leash
far too long.

Shallow breathing
where my lungs reside

Hollow soul
speaks from deep inside

Heavy yearning
as these feelings subside.

A man without a country
husband without a home
man with many secrets
human that is unknown.

My name can't be recalled
used up, broken, lifeless
dead inside
to everything that life is.

It's dank
It's dark
where my other half hides
Strike out at the head
Strike towards the heart
The air is different here
it closes in
if you fight
you cannot win
fair warning
I welcome you
come on in.

Huddled together
the night doesn't hurt anymore
there's no chill
and no ghosts still hovering
just above our lips.

Blanketed under the night sky
we find the warmth of each other
and we ignore all else
even the intrusive barking
far off in the distance.

There's only us now
in the smallest of worlds
creators of finite moment
that hold only important things
and the most gravity.

You hold your body
like a Bastille
and you never let me in
love becomes an issue
with time you never spend
I wait in the watchtower
seeking a somber reprieve
despite the chains
and noise of the dungeon below me
I know that I don't want to stay
but find that I can never leave.

Once the bombs fall
and the sky grows heavy with fireworks
you'll never see beauty again

Forests no longer bleed green
laughter does not echo
childish games become war exercises.

There is a darkened need
to overwhelm neighbor,
friends, enemies.

Only scorched earth remains
charred memory on your boots
as the taste of yesterday fades.

There is only advance, advance---
when footsteps fall, marching on
and it is the nothing that is shared by all.

Tell me something good
something I'll believe
make me choose to stay
or make me want to leave
our time is over now
nothing up my sleeve
you know all my tricks
but grant me one reprieve
I'll say very little about this
and even when I dare
know that I'm forever lost
when you see that distant stare.

It is a vacant place now
this world didn't deserve you
you were incandescent in nature,
when all the lights went out.

The lies they told you
were designed to hold you
the wounds that never healed
you wouldn't speak of them;
you wore your camouflage daily
and I never understood,
how that smile was your tourniquet.

Awaken
then recede
ebb and flow
so much has been lost
when memory has faded,
and has been left to yellow in the sun.

Without notice,
over there---
sits a solitary person,
flesh and blood cage
a defective cup that no longer holds
who has become another empty page.

A collection of white now exists
in a nonsense world, home to Alice
unkempt books with capsized spirit
and tattered page and spine;
where vacant stations play
only garbled static on the radio.

Lucidity has been banished
to a place where names and noodles
can no longer stick to the wall.
food can no longer nourish or satisfy
and add appetite to comprehension.

Where words once stood in stone
now a cemetery grows its garden,
and gray vines hang low
ensnaring all passing travelers
waiting to mark them in their place.

With closed iron gates
there can be no welcome neighbor
no way to tell friend from foe,
as grown children are orphaned of thoughts,
and former feelings are lost to the hourglass,
forever sand-filled, cracked and broken.

Uplifting
is the regifting
of the soul
when life takes it toll
left to drown on dry land
when no one else can understand.

Go to sleep
you broken thing
you tired, tired
sack of tissue
say your prayers tonight
get up tomorrow
and be ready
to be broken all over again
Amen.

The well is dry now

I...

When the sky goes dark you'll know

I'm...

The birds in the trees are quiet

I'm ready...

Even the wind is calm and hushed

I'm ready to...

God throw down your hardest rain

I'm ready to die...

Let nothing more be left unsaid,
Let nothing more of me remain

I'm ready.

A vision of weeping

I...

Faces of my family pass by

I'm...

I have left a hole in this world

I'm ready...

I didn't want to see my worth

I'm ready to...

My grave is still shallow

I'm ready to die...

Remorse sets in from my actions and deed

I'm ready to die another...

There is sudden realization as gray appears beyond black and white

I'm ready to die another day.

Please---
Let me live.

She's not you
she doesn't kiss me
those times I'm absent
she does not miss me.

Her eyes don't shine
when my name is said
she doesn't like to get close
or sleep in the same bed.

She doesnt like my jokes
or when I smile too wide
she gets angry so quick
that it's like a prison inside.


I wish life could be the same
but everything is different now
and it's only getting worse
since I can not speak your name.

Blink first please
I need this win
when you're always right
the argument will never end.

What bookends, are we:
you, a verbal conquistador---
who seeks to conquer the conversation
and I, an unwavering peacemaker---
who extends the olive branch
ready to give right in.

I remember
despite it being crass
what my wise grandpa once said
"You've made your bed
Now shove it up your ***!"
while that is disturbing as sin
however, the real problem is
I forgot what nursing home
we stuck him in.

At the end of the day
all I want is to be me
but the cup is empty
the tank is dry
there isn't any "me" left
and now I know the reason why.

Have you forgiven me
I ask aloud
as I hold the knife
unlike you
it shines
just like you
it becomes personal
an object which will never apologize

It holds my gaze
and I hold my breath
it seeks to deepen our relationship
as it cuts once
then twice

I'll bleed you from me
I think privately
all that is love is
has a liquid flow
shaded red
as I extinguish me
with no friendly place
to rest my head.

I'm reaching for my happy thoughts
But I'm only grabbing air
looking for that life time
with no one else to share
the more I start to wonder
the more I really care
how I was never here
and I was not all there.

You used to run beside me
but now my body is run down
all the miles together
through the changing weather
wherever I was, you could be found
ever since the silence
I miss you more now
because I finally know the math
the both of us were works in progress
with feelings always equal to this life.

Am I asking too much
to be recognized
do I want too much
to be heard
day after day
all I'm after
is relief that is found
from one kind word.

Let us submit to fate
both you and I
we were never meant to live
and never resigned to die.

Our hands crafted to gather
then push far away
all those fragile little things
that raise our emotions high.

To say we truly understand
is to be understated,
and to live on those terms
is bound to be a lie.