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At the end of the day
all I want is to be me
but the cup is empty
the tank is dry
there isn't any "me" left
and now I know the reason why.
#self love
Jun 11 · 28
Product of Nature
Andrew Layman Jun 11
Not my soul
that I rip aside
not my form
nor bleeding hide
not my fault I was born
the two parents
I thought were mine
brought me to this world
and left me behind.
Jun 11 · 48
Luther's Door
Andrew Layman Jun 11
To all the enslaved
that are still in debt
I nail this note
to a wooden frame
that you still need to open.
for all of you,
that have tasted society's boot
I tell you---
bide your time
turn the other cheek
and learn to respire
you will outlast the fake
outlive all the ungrateful
and become the one true legacy.
Jun 11 · 149
For My Niece, Jasmine
Andrew Layman Jun 11
Dear one:

You are a quiet conqueror
I know it
because your voice will make avalanches
and rouse the sleeping mountains
your words of kindness will heal others
and in doing so
it will break your own cycle.

I believe all these things
and in you so strongly
for I have seen it
in a future that presently waits for you
remain steadfast
and please realize
you will do many wonders
because you are one yourself.
Jun 9 · 279
Butterfly's Remorse
After being smothered for so long
I'm finally breathing on my own
peeling off the layers
that held me still
this strange freedom
that I feel
now becomes anxiety
and much too real.
Jun 8 · 33
The Miles that Pass
You used to run beside me
but now my body is run down
all the miles together
through the changing weather
wherever I was, you could be found
ever since the silence
I miss you more now
because I finally know the math
the both of us were works in progress
with feelings always equal to this life.
Jun 6 · 132
Blindingly Obvious
Talk about fashionable---
bars were once
the modern day ***** den
now replaced by a newer drug---
and with so many track marks
I know we will never recover.
Jun 3 · 167
Last Rites of The Worm
I remain the worm
no one gets me
only the early rising bird
that opens its beak
and swallows me whole
down the endless gullet I fall
not stopping
no chance to wonder
if life was ever truly fair at all.
Jun 3 · 59
Don't send flowers
I think I've been forgotten
nobody knows
how long I've been away
however, in the details
the uncertainty shows.

There is no grave,
no marker
no way to pay respects
so please just move along
and just continue to forget.
May 21 · 18
Regret take flight
Andrew Layman May 21
The monster of things
brought out the man in me
the boy that emerged as a man
from the trappings to be
and with all that I know now
it becomes a home I can never again see
Andrew Layman May 12
This land was once an eternity
until the gray line dissected it
now there is gasoline and chains
the sinew that winds around every bit
this is not an illusion
but in the end,
it makes you ill enough.
May 10 · 133
Architect of All
Andrew Layman May 10
The only true promised land
is built on the promises
that you learn to keep.
May 8 · 29
Cagefree Human
What if the moon keeps rising
from ceiling to sky
will I try to stand up
despite it pushing me down
or give up
without further a try?
Out of all the millions
it was me who reached the end
the walls were breached
and a person
yet to be, curled up dreaming.

Do not feel unworthy
and this reason alone will resonate
you fought against millions
never asking for conception
and here now you stand.

An army of white
filled with personality
pushing past
surging, searching in purpose
making the threat my existence.

At this stage there are only impulses, programming that breed
moving onward in the labyrinth
not truly knowing
but blindly going
against potential brethren.
Apr 27 · 40
Let's be honest
Andrew Layman Apr 27
Do not misunderstand me
I am not in love
with your beauty
it is your brand
of ugly that interests me.
Andrew Layman Apr 18
My feeling have issues
I'm trying to live
aside from the anger
I'm trying to give
nerve endings scream
you cannot go numb
breeding the theme
that I'm coming from.
Apr 17 · 257
Musician's encore
Andrew Layman Apr 17
on an empty stage
for the applause
the curtain to raise
echos here
sound like praise
simple silence
is not a phase.
Apr 16 · 71
Lock, stock and barrel
Andrew Layman Apr 16
Like a magazine
locked and caged,
in between
sweaty hands
cast away the shells,
the bullets and me
tell it all away
it's just a dream,
just a dream
and hope you're still awake
when the shooting ends.
Apr 11 · 34
Seek out the womb
Andrew Layman Apr 11
This world is an ugly place
when it has shown its terrible face
after heaven's fall
I've heard the call
and I'll never go back again.
Apr 8 · 42
Enter the hive
Strike out
at the largest vein
that traverses the honeycomb
and finally reveal yourself.
Life is not fair, friend
when I am here
and you are not
when you were ensnared
by addiction and desires of flesh
a soul left here to rot

The existing situation is not so great
born of our differences
where we did not gain a scar
knowing love did not spare us pain
moving us forward into unknown embrace
and only served to make us who we are.
Apr 8 · 210
The shadow grows
My decision made
only air caught me
resigned to fade
from the highest place
with the most shade
I'm coming down
that hand I've played
sent me below
but I'm not dismayed
when beckoned by the ground
I heard and I obeyed.
Apr 4 · 88
As the Romans do
Mother I bleed today
much in the same way you did
all those years ago
different battlefields
different scars
but we learned the value of life.
Apr 4 · 313
Wealth and Realization
Once you realize
you're part of a dying machine
marvel at your worth
and the part
you play in the movement,
little cog.
Mar 30 · 35
Cold narrative
Andrew Layman Mar 30
Am I asking too much
to be recognized
do I want too much
to be heard
day after day
all I'm after
is relief that is found
from one kind word.
Mar 30 · 55
Gift of the ages
Andrew Layman Mar 30
Darling child,
there is nothing I can give to you
except for the fear that was placed in me
a long time ago
once when I crowed loudly as a youth
then was bludgeoned with words
lessons meant to cage and keep me
and my ribcage still houses that fear
however, you should be glad to know
that my love for you now speaks louder.
Mar 29 · 110
Running of the bulls
Andrew Layman Mar 29
Another few seconds pass
before the minutes are flung into the chasm
the next skeleton that rattles
will bear the mark of the hour
and so greedy it is,
as the pair of hands reach for our lives
all consuming, but never full
the swinging tock sound of the pendulum
has now provided me
with a tic of my own
only now can I---
almost taste
the impudence of the clock
the eyes on its face
ever alert,
its grin,
more still---
until it seizes the day.
Mar 25 · 214
Reflected Narcissist
Andrew Layman Mar 25
Let's not be coy
I said,
wagging my finger
you are here to talk about me
I said repeatedly
to the mirror
so talk---
I said, playfully
or I will.
Mar 25 · 259
Even Flow
Andrew Layman Mar 25
The roads are blocked
like my arteries
and when I come to a stop
there is only a dead end.
Mar 20 · 245
Roll the stone away
Andrew Layman Mar 20
Looking at this world
the old gods will say
let it expire,
it's far past decay

When flesh rots its form
there is nothing more to find
leaving only the stench to remain
and the bones that remind.
Andrew Layman Feb 26
I'm reaching for my happy thoughts
But I'm only grabbing air
looking for that life time
with no one else to share
the more I start to wonder
the more I really care
how I was never here
and I was not all there.
Feb 6 · 34
Specter of the norm
The weight of thought falls on me
as life understands its gravity
such a small room I think
but such a big world I tell
which leaves me to wonder
as I stand upon the chair
are ghosts haunted by regret as well?
then by taking the rope
and pulling it taunt
I then decide
I'm not so sure
but time will soon tell.
The loneliness of it all
still haunts me now
called an animal
a beast, a deplorable
chained as veal
deprived of resources
be it sow or cow
sang to, out in the field
bludgeoned with violence
told to submit daily
or else, threat
or else, ****
I can not be owned
God and Mother Nature
could never allow
yesterday I was once a man
who tasted freedom
upon his tongue
and tomorrow---
I will be a man still.
Jan 27 · 34
Sniper, sweet sniper
Andrew Layman Jan 27
A glint of scope
then a life is gone
send me home
I miss my momma
and everything that is my home
you gave me a gun
taught me to hate
I tried to soldier on
but a bullet can't wait.
Andrew Layman Jan 13
is the regifting
of the soul
when life takes it toll
left to drown on dry land
when no one else can understand.
Jan 2 · 93
Last Will
This is the last conversation
the final goodbye
looking at our life together
and the mess we made
we found our sweet disaster
when there is no pain
no downpour,
no outcry,
and no more rain.
Dec 2020 · 48
What color is your love?
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
Have you forgiven me
I ask aloud
as I hold the knife
unlike you
it shines
just like you
it becomes personal
an object which will never apologize

It holds my gaze
and I hold my breath
it seeks to deepen our relationship
as it cuts once
then twice

I'll bleed you from me
I think privately
all that is love is
has a liquid flow
shaded red
as I extinguish me
with no friendly place
to rest my head.
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
I just wanted to say hello
I saw you sitting there
lost in a far off look
and wondered---
what was on your mind.

fellow human
I tried once to connect with you
and failed to get your attention
once that electronic gaze met your own
You didn't notice my eyes or smile.

This commute is hard
No. Not the bus, or the train
The distance between us all
That keeps growing
The warning signs are all there
We're falling behind.

We don't see nature anymore
Content to replace it with our own
Habits pile up then consume us.

How much more can I own
Until I care
I can't carry it with me
when I'm called home one last time
what will be our legacy
Our children or our possessions
Dec 2020 · 34
Behold the castle
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
You hold your body
like a Bastille
and you never let me in
love becomes an issue
with time you never spend
I wait in the watchtower
seeking a somber reprieve
despite the chains
and noise of the dungeon below me
I know that I don't want to stay
but find that I can never leave.
Dec 2020 · 268
Happy tears
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
I'll tell you a secret
that nobody knows
no king nor queen
or wayward vagabond suppose
ever see tears from a clown
purposefully stain his clothes

King unto himself
the jester like the rooster
only beckons when he crows
inviting the day to come
before he quietly goes.
Dec 2020 · 19
Standing firm
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
I'm here
I shout
I am the one who made it
Out of millions
I stand singularly
Born from a mother and father
Determined to embrace
And now witness my presence
See my face.
Dec 2020 · 54
A series of confrontation
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
Let us join hands
and signal the deity
with prayer, with bonfire
omnipresent being
the forever seerer
sadly, dispite all else
even with all our efforts
the universe still doesn't care we're here.
Dec 2020 · 80
Muted joy
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
When our eyes open for the first time
there is a reason we do not speak
no words to express
nor feelings explain
more of difference
but more of the same
yet the only truth
that is known by waking
this world that I see
I accept
I feel
will soon become the death of me.
Dec 2020 · 117
Where's my invitation?
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
There is so much
want in me
sometimes it's scary.

It becomes---
a hole I cannot fill.

Giving birth to
a whole other person
that I can not please.

Bound up in anxiety
then left outside myself
to freeze.
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
Huddled together
the night doesn't hurt anymore
there's no chill
and no ghosts still hovering
just above our lips.

Blanketed under the night sky
we find the warmth of each other
and we ignore all else
even the intrusive barking
far off in the distance.

There's only us now
in the smallest of worlds
creators of finite moment
that hold only important things
and the most gravity.
Dec 2020 · 200
First show then sow me
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
When the darkness came
it claimed him;
then it named him.
"Seed of mine",
it said.
"The light, left you here instead
and now,
that you are warped
like me;
all these verses
and letters remain in red."
Dec 2020 · 57
Lukewarm lovers
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
Forever Vows:

I promise,
that I will keep loving you

I hate you once again.
Dec 2020 · 534
Beauty is skin deep
Andrew Layman Dec 2020
Your skin,
is the color of a rusty gate
your teeth,
collapse like the colliseusm
your arms,
flap gracefully like an albatross
and your eyes,
remain a mausoleum.

(EVIDENCE: Prior to her arrest, this romantic Valentine's Day card was found next to the bullet riddled body of Mrs. Hubbert's husband)
Nov 2020 · 40
Into the hard cold ground
Andrew Layman Nov 2020
The shovel bites shallow
as the dirt flies
and after a few cuts more
the earth yields its vein
the metal flashes again
with its angry face
and I know
I'll carve out a place
somewhere, deeper still
until nothing of this world remains.
Nov 2020 · 70
A Pilgrim in Holy Rome
Andrew Layman Nov 2020
Alone in the coliseum
the dust swept cage
I hear the lions come
all people of wealth
add to the roar of the crowd
I offer a silent prayer
in order to drown out the beasts
the terrible gnashing of teeth
persecution offered as entertainment
an execution becomes spectacle
and my only crime is belief.
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