love, i can't say i fully understand
and i can't say i know how you feel.
i can't say what you want me to,
nor can i say that i'll be strong
when you aren't able to.
i can't say i'll be your anchor
for your rusty ship
i'm only human.

but i can say
i will always love you
no matter what.
even when you and i
can't understand each other.

you've got me
forgetting things,
like the key in my door
and my due homework.
you've got me
seeing things,
like your face
everywhere i go.
you've got me
thinking things,
like what'd it be like
to always have you in my arms.
you've got me going crazy
and it's hilarious
that you don't know a thing,
not a clue whatsoever
what you make me do.

they did say only fools rush in
and i daresay that's true,
because i am no wise man
when i'm in love with you.

like a flower, i grew
and you did too
our relationship flourished
in the downpours,
our smiles and laughter
feeding the happiness
in our souls.

like a ship, i sailed
and i think you did too
we couldn't keep
our feet on the ground
gravity didn't matter,
but the force between us did.

like the moon, i was drawn to you
i'm pretty sure you were too
the Sun's light reflected off me,
just a mirrored light
that you still loved to see shine

but like the night, our sorrows
washed away into the light
and i knew
we would be alright.

One year ago,
I met your eyes.
I met those beautiful,
brown eyes.
I saw your grace,
not only in your heart,
but in your movements.
I met your kindness
and I felt like I was valued.
I met your flaws
and you met mine.
And even though
you didn't know,
you stole my heart
right from my hand
and kept it for yourself.

it comes to feed again
it's claws scream,
my blood thriving
in its veins.
it scratches at my bed
my headboard is creaking
no, wait, it's at my feet now.
God help me, i hear it smiling
i hear it's evil joy laughing in my ear.
Oh, Lord, save me, please
the floorboards are creaking now
and something's tearing off my sheets.
i want to run, but i'm helpless
i let it crawl on my bed
i let it's fingers pry open my mouth
i let it's claws inside my throat
and still am helpless to the blood
pouring from my lips.
it's eyes are inside me
they stare at my nakedness,
waiting for my pride to lower
my hands from myself.
the blood from its teeth
drips down my chest
and seeps into my heart.
my floorboards no longer creak
and it need no longer seek.
it has found me.
oh God help me
my fear
is
a
monster.

Think about it this way, love.
I know you hurt bad
and I know they broke your heart.
So. Many. Times.
But think about it this way,
they were just standing in your way.
Because one day, my love,
you will find the other half
of your broken heart
and they knew that they
would never be able to be fit.

Take notice,
we are human
and nothing but.

i'm a trainwreck again
and it's all your fault, you know.
you took my world of black and white
and shook it upside down.

you filled my head with wonder
and my thoughts began to wander
back and forth, forth and back
they were only filled with you.

i thought i was alone
and i thought i liked it too,
but then you came along
i found i loved the number two.

i'm a mess, you see
i used to be neat and tidy
i pushed my feelings under my bed
and accepted that instead.

but you, oh you
you pushed my feelings back out
i was surprised to see them again
and wasn't sure about that route

but you, oh you
you gave me a sky
and told me to fly
and ditch my world
my world of black and white.

you told me to love color
because unlike any other,
my eyes were green and blue,
brown and black and grey,
all the way, through and through.

so now i love you
and you love me
me and my trainwreck

child, child, don't you know?
your legs and arms will still grow
even though you hate broccoli
but make sure you learn early
that your heart will grow big
bigger than you can carry.

child, child, don't you know?
mama loves you still, no matter,
even though you screamed at her,
but make sure you learn soon
that your heart will always sing
too beautiful a melody
and too beautiful a tune.

child, child, don't you know?
that knee scrape will always heal,
it looks deep, but it'll heal
but make sure you learn that
your heart will one day be so heavy
it'll drop onto the concrete,
and those wounds will stay
for a very long time.

child, child, don't you know?
the rain is beautiful because
it makes the flowers grow,
but make sure you learn now
that your heart will cry
you'll feel the rain hit your skin,
and it'll hurt
it always will.

but child, child, don't you know?
guarding your pain,
pretending your heart
doesn't exist, never did, and never will
is hurting you more than
it needs to?

child, let your heart fly
just don't let your heart
fly away.

i'm here.
and i won't
take no for an answer.

take a moment
to silence yourself
and listen
to others.

for whatever reason, lovely
you decide to love me,
let it be gentle.
I am broken enough.

i fell.

like a rock in the ocean, i fell.

i fell in slow, but i fell in deep.

but you let me scrape my knees

in this ocean

of concrete.

to show you
would harm you.

to tell you
would break you.

the light never gets
to see darkness
because the darkness
is afraid of the light
and so am i
with you.

so please
leave me
alone.

i think
we're
all
sanely
insane
somewhere
deep
within
us.

that you could come back to me

that your love could warm my frozen heart again

that you hug me with tender touches of moonlight

i wish and i wish and i wish

that i could have you back

flower petals
seem to travel
on the wings of birds
on the outstretched arms
of the wind
fluttering like eyelashes
like the rustling leaves
of dying trees
down to the ground
at your feet
if only
i could get to you
just a little faster

people tell me to be bitter
you broke me after all
but is it bad that all i can do is smile?
you're finally laughing and i'm happy
even if i was never a part
of the happy ending

the mist is frosty and cold
my finger draws upon it
tales and myths of old
i wonder if they bought it

the lies of loving who i am
slide from off my tongue
i ran and ran and ran and ran
to get away from blazing suns

my childhood calls like a mother
waiting for her precious child
as if she knew the others
had been abusing me with smiles

i told them over and over again
that i was grown and truly an adult
that i truly didn't need my friends
disproved sorely by my childish sulk

the window panes are cold
and it hurts to touch my memories
i felt so young i feel so old
i'm just a heartbroken trilogy

i was a babe and then a teen
i grew into my full grown skin
so hard-hearted and awfully mean
that i couldn't ever fit in

i hated growing pains
they reminded me of my age
that i was always always changing
always always a newly flipped page

it hurts it hurts it hurts
these unbearable window panes
it hurts it hurts it hurts
these horrible growing pains

a heart so pure forever mine
it took a while and long to find
but i love the warmth radiating
it's a good kind of alienating

your kindness evident in all you say
the times i talk to you everyday
it makes me happy all the time
that you're my friend, forever mine

i wish you only saw yourself
as a book and not a shelf
as if someone couldn't love you
as if their adoration isn't true

i hope one day that you see
how beautiful you can really be
if you smile and remember
that you're kind and tender

and i hope that you'll know
that i'm not putting on a show
i truly love you outside in
i truly think of you as my kin

love shame and
it will heart break,

eyes hurt and
confusion hurts

lovely falls
and kind cracks.

times broken
and healed clocks.

all lead me
back to you.

you give me paper cuts
small, yet deep
and i still happily,
readily,
joyfully,
bleed for you.

you and I
must be balanced
in order to be
loved
by one
another

i never knew the definition
of heartbreak and stipulation
agreements of dedication
love in deep hibernation.

it hurts to feel nothing
a sense of dignity and loathing
a rotten egg coating
over a sense of boding.

shatter-free me
it's all i want to be.
he's just like a bee
unnaturally sweet like honey
with a hidden deadly sting.

A rose of budding blossoms,
Your eyes glitter gold.
The laughter of a meadow,
sounds like yours I'm told.

I hope you're doing well,
even though you're far away.
Just know I still love you
even to this day.

Our bond might break again,
but I'll always hold you close.
I hope you make new friends
more than you needed me most.

Don't be afraid to forget me,
just don't wipe our memories away.
I hope you still love me,
even to this day.

I loved you like a sibling,
but then again I still do.
I will never be able forget
how much I cared for you.

I can't stand distance
because we're far away.
Just know I still love you
even to this day.

Maybe we'll meet again one day,
and we'll talk with kindled friendship.
But that's just a maybe,
it's not exactly definite.

Stay healthy and take care,
even though I'm far away.
I hope we'll still love each other
even into the future days.