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nif Nov 2021
do not attempt any magic
when the full moon glow
during dark magic hour
powers are dull
we are already dealing with more than we can handle
so draw a bath
burn Palo Santo
Light a candle
and rest your precious soul
when the full moon glow
it will come
we will cleanse
it will go
it will leave our magic low
only to regrow
and overflow
until the next full moon glow

~take things slow
11/19/21 Lunar Eclipse in Taurus
Nov 2021 · 1.6k
ithinkiwasborncrazy -_-
nif Nov 2021
clear signs of insanity
pacing
mind racing
dazed and unorganized
eyes look left
eyes look right
not enough contact
there is a clear detach

mad at myself
and laughing
hysterically I sing
a ring a ding ding
a crazy hymn
a dim dim a dim dim

I hear my thoughts
they're saying
**** him  
but I must not sin
I wanna take it to the chin
I can feel my grin
ripping skin
energy wearing thin
I am finally living

insane
I feel no pain
I am pain
I inflict it on the lame
I am to blame
Only to regret my shame
Time will tame
In the mean I clean
spotless spaces surround
I am nowhere to be found
detached again
just cleaning
alive and aging
insane
Nov 2021 · 1.6k
Saturn sounds better
nif Nov 2021
I want go to Saturn
sounds better
a place with out any developed pattern
school school school work work work
Saturn sounds better

Helium and hydrogen
never dealing with fake friends
abusive boyfriends
stubborn parents

Saturn has no gang violence
Instead, rings of rock and ice!
A place with no money; no price!
No footage, no comments on display
no replay or rewrite
no right to wrong
no ego to let go
its just now
a dot on a giant thing
with rings
waiting to hear you sing
my love; my life
take flight
A journey of no return
I want to go to Saturn
sssssssssssaturn
Nov 2021 · 347
dot
nif Nov 2021
dot
when you find yourself feeling bigger
than life itself
just know life is bigger
the universe even more
and you're not
you're just a dot

~ give it a thought
are you a dot on a blank canvas or a dot on a landscape?
Aug 2021 · 117
Checking In // Hello God
nif Aug 2021
checking in for my sanity
Hello God
it's me
Lately I've been going through some ****
Depression, lack of expression
thoughts of suicide
feelings of deception
I don't know up from down now
I only frown now
It's flooding where I ran
about a thousand miles out of town
wow.
its coming down now
maybe its the necessary cleanse
I've been needing
I could turn it all around

I know its not my fault
not blaming the tequila
or the salt
leading with the heart

not running
away from assault
I'm leaving
no reason to stay

Time signatures set a slow sway
the integers just don't add up today
so I stay
Oh God you know I pray

That this industry will recognize me one day
Gucci Dior Prada
Runway
NYC Fashion Week
you find me
the great runaway
effortlessly on my feet
you know that even
on the street I slay

Thank you God,
I'm okay
SLAY ANYWAY
I'm okay
Aug 2021 · 439
I grow
nif Aug 2021
I sat staring down at my seltzer
he was angry
he was disappointed
I use to call him mine
he calls me his
but he gave me nothing to be certain of
no job
no date night
all was flowing by nature
never to nurture
none

between me and you
*******  
the world can see
nothing new
no love
no care
only when he's there

he'll stay close
till he leaves me alone
with no warning
he stays close though
to know what he wants to know

he tells it how it is

no **** for you
I am the smoke you blew
straight through
away the only thing
I never really knew
you never grew

Gone again
there I go
there he goes
blocking my nutrients
thinking I needed them
no
I water my own
I grow
disappoint him forever
he is not the one
Aug 2020 · 78
attic pets
nif Aug 2020
Defined by thoughts
Acting Out
Defined by action

Portrayed  energy
Judging words
Defined acts

Choose to hold in
Keeping myself
Toxins arrive
Uninvited
I
Ignoring
You

Unaware and caged
Monster Mind  
Effortless Ignorant Enlightenment
Strong Born Weak
shader glued
Wear & Tear Routine


Into the world
demons tethered
No one search
No one find
the key
Drunk-in candy
Consumed coffee
Unbothered
Attic Pets
monsters on my mind
Aug 2020 · 71
clouds
nif Aug 2020
he said baby
you're my angel
tears rollin down his cheek

I said baby
wipe it away
and let me stay

one day maybe
my wings will grow big enough
to cover the clouds

Cuz I can stop the rain
I can withstand the pain
Oh I can stop this rain
Oh I can withstand this pain
Jul 2020 · 313
Me Too
nif Jul 2020
I love music
he did too
he played lead guitar
in a band
it was his everything
he never wanted
hear me sing

I love training for a sport
he did too
he was a pole-vaulting
on a scholarship  
together we learned how to get fit
but he'll tell ya
everything I am
he created it

I love fashion
he does too
he has a style
I admire
and from this
I am inspired to bring out my inner style

I'll be the first
to admit it
from the outside
it seems inorganic

like I don't know me
so I try all these new things
but you see
I know what I like
and I know I need more
I too have a need to go out
to explore
and to find new passions
and to grow
and to fall
in love with you
but you must realize
I am woman
I like what I like
and
I am strong too
guys always think they make you?
May 2020 · 160
plant polish
nif May 2020
poor plants
I pulled off so many dead things
off these
poor plants
polishing
riding them of festering ants
watering
quench their thirst
helping the hurt
plants first
as a mother
I have an overwhelming urge
to nurture
to care
to leave this earth
as beautiful as it ever was
so forever I will pull
off with this dead
plants first
polish
pulling weeds
May 2020 · 2.1k
a capricorn & a taurus
nif May 2020
your gross
you Capricorn
never let you be the host
your gross

clean up
like how hard is it
harder than living locked up?
surrounded by stuff?

not my responsibility
you have some too you know
we both have to do our part
fill my heart with humility
when the family visits

living without tranquility
**** this nasty
like seriously
you talk big classy

you think I'm sassy?
tough
I am so over it
clean up
Capricorn
please
Michelle do your dishes
May 2020 · 227
moisture // my days
nif May 2020
misty days
of moisture and sun rays
grass as tall as tree trunks
rolling by
a breeze fills my eyes
with skunk

nose blind
we roll on
and on we roll
between the weeds
this private show
no one need no
what goes
on and on and on
inside misty
days of mine

kisses by the sun define
golden brown backs
where nails scratch
eggs hatch
we lay

message relay

you cannot escape fate
nor hide truth
but one thing you can do
is be you
honest and true

no matter where you learn
nor from who
relay races
ideas and encompassed facts
as a matter of lies
I feel that
this poem is out of wack

started writing
what I want
the universe only gives
what I need

always pleased to know
I need not much
but provided
and more and more
I remain faithful to you
and more and more
I give to you
you give me too

Full circle
everything everlasting
dance and sing
from night till morning
these are my days  
rich and plentiful
watch as my garden grows
under the misty rays of my
moisture
all over the place but somehow stuck at home
Apr 2020 · 118
my art, my love
nif Apr 2020
*******
I love this ****
I love my poems
what they encapsulate
and how they help me escape

it was fate
I never realized
now I know for sure
I must have always been a writer
nothing less
nothing more

it is
how I feel
why I drink
and know fake from real
it is
how I think
how I learn
and how I heal

I love my poems
so much
they are everything
in the end it is all that
will be left of me

nothing more
nothing less  
*******
i love it
am I the only one obsessed with this ****?!
Apr 2020 · 484
cheeks
nif Apr 2020
cheeks
above her feet
and lil tummies
cheeks
above her teeth
tiny necks
and chubby arms
in final form
a female physique
all cheeks
i am woman
Apr 2020 · 1.3k
caramel
nif Apr 2020
my sweet
caramel candy
treat me
taste me
pair me with sierra mist
bite me on each end
i am licorice
**** energy through my body
my sweet

swim to me
chew me
swallow me whole
pair me with crush
for a fruity mix
i am
swedish fish
pucker my lips
kiss me
my sweet
caramel candy
bonds over candy
Apr 2020 · 198
flow
nif Apr 2020
off I go
out of my mind
into my soul

movement mentality
I flow
the only thing I truly know
the body grows

contracting and relaxing
adapting
I feel everything

if something is off
it will show
off I go
because I know
how to grow

plant the seed
water
sun
leave be
till pressure is released

a painful expierence
of importance will commence
I promise

so
go
slow &  flow
yogi thoughts during playtime :)
Apr 2020 · 134
morning good
nif Apr 2020
good
the morning always bring
me and you
and little ones soon
open the window
by the bedside
breeze blows just right
into your eyes
I crawl  
knowing I would
feel
see
the morning will always bring
good
I love mornings with you
Apr 2020 · 172
no decision made
nif Apr 2020
can't get out of the house
can't get out of my head
nothing to be said
no need to leave my bed
what a day
flipping hay
what to do
what to say
could pick up food
but to save money
we stay
inside my mind
a constant rhyme
a song plays on
repeat on
this line
straight on
again find myself
a slap of butter stick
melt me on repeat
into these sheets
turn up the heat
feeling weak i finally speak
up on what's
going on
inside is the world
I carry on  
with this poem
mental health check during quarantine
Apr 2020 · 336
S'words
nif Apr 2020
******
sensations I feel
soft words
slide into my

slit my throat
soak a toe
silky
smooth
some words do
slip into
sweaty palms
scrunch tightly by the tip of your
second finger one time

surrender to this lack of
silence
seeking
solidity
so deadly my words
sedate a
slave for you  

sold for gold  
saved and brought home
safe and
secure by the  
side of a
strong
sweaty

still night
strip right
shoes
socks
shirt

shut the door
shh, "I like it open"
sneak me
slow

*** between
someone i love is
something innocent
scribbles unlike any
scripted in my; as I breathe
see you in me in, these words you read

so true
send nudes
thiS  waS
s'fun :)
Apr 2020 · 229
man, why
nif Apr 2020
you are a man
with a plan
from where I stand
one hand
tied
to my backside

why
oh why
must i comply
one track
mind
flick onto
a folded blind

why
oh why
must you spit
into my eye

lie
on the floor
naked soul
survived.
abuse is forever embedded on your soul
remember you are a survivor
and now you're made of gold
Apr 2020 · 76
mine
nif Apr 2020
from lands near
I still here the whispers of your strong tears
streams of consciousness

down

your cheeks of rose
kissing toes

you're mine

waves of gold
mindful
of stories untold
I know,
you know

you're mine

rows full of roses
on this
eight fold path
walking with promise
into your innocence

this age of grievance
has come to an end
the time has come
to send the message
to publish the poem
to write another rhyme

fused at the start
our lives combine
no more leaving
no more crying
singing and sweeping
sweat dripping

down

your neck
your nose
slides down my spine
I know
you know

you're mine
hello you :)
nif Apr 2020
slide me sideways
never hesitate
take the long way
right on the wet line
let it slide

kick out the back side
don't know why
never question
trust him
seeing passion
in his eye

drinking after drifting
we were slipping
in the rain
got me dripping
now sipping
switching lanes

no hands just pants
and feet

gotta eat
hit up Aldi's
no mask no gloves
King & Queen
of quarantine
staying healthy chasing green
smoking clean staying lean
getting cozy
in between

and when your mine
the time
it flies
always looking up
into the night
sky
never able to say
bye

lay by you
in the morning light

tell me,
"you're beautiful.
you're mine."
baby,
lets ride
"kick out the back side.
let it slide"
Apr 2020 · 65
Yin Spill
nif Apr 2020
Yin Spill    
Still stand still
Ice cold till turn in    

Off balance in these frozen lakes  
Floating on reflection
Covered clouds  
Falling leaves of absinthe breath
Visible chills
Organic compounds
Headed downstream
Paring energies
Shifting grounds

Diving deep
No tank
Gassed and thrashed
Well spent
Tis the season of  
Dipping toes in venomous molds
Liquid gold

Currency for creativity  
Sold for souls
Breeze rolls
Through tall grass and forgotten trash

A Land of Ice & Sin
Two cold
Turn in  
Still standing still
Yin Spill
Dec 2019 · 112
Building Bodies
nif Dec 2019
Responsibility for Building Bodies
Armored for no War
Readily in pain for future Pain

A confidence festers in the cracks of moldy walls
Rusted by the discipline of its occupancy
A room responsible for building bodies
Foundations that hold
Tightly bound by cables and bars

Our Warriors
Preparing for no War
Steady as They grow to be known
Needed in the dark corners of sidewalks End

Walking Tall next to you Walking Tall
We Are Ready for no War
With Pleasure in Pain  
A sense of Peace of Mind
Among bodies building Bodies

— The End —