clear signs of insanity
pacing
mind racing
dazed and unorganized
eyes look left
eyes look right
not enough contact
there is a clear detach

mad at myself
and laughing
hysterically I sing
a ring a ding ding
a crazy hymn
a dim dim a dim dim

I hear my thoughts
they're saying
**** him  
but I must not sin
I wanna take it to the chin
I can feel my grin
ripping skin
energy wearing thin
I am finally living

insane
I feel no pain
I am pain
I inflict it on the lame
I am to blame
Only to regret my shame
Time will tame
In the mean I clean
spotless spaces surround
I am nowhere to be found
detached again
just cleaning
alive and aging
insane

I want go to Saturn
sounds better
a place with out any developed pattern
school school school work work work
Saturn sounds better

Helium and hydrogen
never dealing with fake friends
abusive boyfriends
stubborn parents

Saturn has no gang violence
Instead, rings of rock and ice!
A place with no money; no price!
No footage, no comments on display
no replay or rewrite
no right to wrong
no ego to let go
its just now
a dot on a giant thing
with rings
waiting to hear you sing
my love; my life
take flight
A journey of no return
I want to go to Saturn

when you find yourself feeling bigger
than life itself
just know life is bigger
the universe even more
and you're not
you're just a dot

~ give it a thought

checking in for my sanity
Hello God
it's me
Lately I've been going through some ****
Depression, lack of expression
thoughts of suicide
feelings of deception
I don't know up from down now
I only frown now
It's flooding where I ran
about a thousand miles out of town
wow.
its coming down now
maybe its the necessary cleanse
I've been needing
I could turn it all around

I know its not my fault
not blaming the tequila
or the salt
leading with the heart

not running
away from assault
I'm leaving
no reason to stay

Time signatures set a slow sway
the integers just don't add up today
so I stay
Oh God you know I pray

That this industry will recognize me one day
Gucci Dior Prada
Runway
NYC Fashion Week
you find me
the great runaway
effortlessly on my feet
you know that even
on the street I slay

Thank you God,
I'm okay

I sat staring down at my seltzer
he was angry
he was disappointed
I use to call him mine
he calls me his
but he gave me nothing to be certain of
no job
no date night
all was flowing by nature
never to nurture
none

between me and you
*******  
the world can see
nothing new
no love
no care
only when he's there

he'll stay close
till he leaves me alone
with no warning
he stays close though
to know what he wants to know

he tells it how it is

no **** for you
I am the smoke you blew
straight through
away the only thing
I never really knew
you never grew

Gone again
there I go
there he goes
blocking my nutrients
thinking I needed them
no
I water my own
I grow

he said baby
you're my angel
tears rollin down his cheek

I said baby
wipe it away
and let me stay

one day maybe
my wings will grow big enough
to cover the clouds

Cuz I can stop the rain
I can withstand the pain
Oh I can stop this rain
Oh I can withstand this pain

misty days
of moisture and sun rays
grass as tall as tree trunks
rolling by
a breeze fills my eyes
with skunk

nose blind
we roll on
and on we roll
between the weeds
this private show
no one need no
what goes
on and on and on
inside misty
days of mine

kisses by the sun define
golden brown backs
where nails scratch
eggs hatch
we lay

message relay

you cannot escape fate
nor hide truth
but one thing you can do
is be you
honest and true

no matter where you learn
nor from who
relay races
ideas and encompassed facts
as a matter of lies
I feel that
this poem is out of wack

started writing
what I want
the universe only gives
what I need

always pleased to know
I need not much
but provided
and more and more
I remain faithful to you
and more and more
I give to you
you give me too

Full circle
everything everlasting
dance and sing
from night till morning
these are my days  
rich and plentiful
watch as my garden grows
under the misty rays of my
moisture

*******
I love this ****
I love my poems
what they encapsulate
and how they help me escape

it was fate
I never realized
now I know for sure
I must have always been a writer
nothing less
nothing more

it is
how I feel
why I drink
and know fake from real
it is
how I think
how I learn
and how I heal

I love my poems
so much
they are everything
in the end it is all that
will be left of me

nothing more
nothing less  
*******
i love it

my sweet
caramel candy
treat me
taste me
pair me with sierra mist
bite me on each end
i am licorice
**** energy through my body
my sweet

swim to me
chew me
swallow me whole
pair me with crush
for a fruity mix
i am
swedish fish
pucker my lips
kiss me
my sweet
caramel candy

good
the morning always bring
me and you
and little ones soon
open the window
by the bedside
breeze blows just right
into your eyes
I crawl  
knowing I would
feel
see
the morning will always bring
good

can't get out of the house
can't get out of my head
nothing to be said
no need to leave my bed
what a day
flipping hay
what to do
what to say
could pick up food
but to save money
we stay
inside my mind
a constant rhyme
a song plays on
repeat on
this line
straight on
again find myself
a slap of butter stick
melt me on repeat
into these sheets
turn up the heat
feeling weak i finally speak
up on what's
going on
inside is the world
I carry on  
with this poem

you are a man
with a plan
from where I stand
one hand
tied
to my backside

why
oh why
must i comply
one track
mind
flick onto
a folded blind

why
oh why
must you spit
into my eye

lie
on the floor
naked soul
survived.