What was that you wanted, dear?
I'm busy reading away in here,
Bookworms munching through the pages,
Words in print, creating stages,
A writer must read and write alone,
Get someone better on your phone,
What was that you wanted, dear?
Move on, I'm  busy reading here......

Look, the Church of Bourbonology, dears,
Look, all the faithless at the bar over here,
Bit tough on their wives and kids, my dears,
Time for the Church of Bourbonology, cheers!
Years, absolutely, my dears!

I listened to promises from a drunk,
"Bourbon Talking," I should have thunk,
The day passed, the weeks concluded,
I tried to work out who was deluded,
Waiting for red herrings,
The months and years were ending,
Decades rolled by, one day,
I realised he should be at AA,
Not so comical,
The vocab. was lyrical,
Centuries passed, millennia concluded,
The world exploded, universe imploded,
Worked out who was deluded,
Now for tradies, through phone books, I go walking,
So, girls, never listen when it' s "bourbon talking!!!"

This is an ode about boys,
Of any age, we're the toys,
The meat market boys make,
They're all a mad as snakes!

Can you really believe this?
Italian melons of steel got her kiss,
She latched on to the newsagent man,
Of Chinese culture, he was her fan,
They planned their weddings back to back,
Both bride and groom to wear basic black,
In multicultural Melbourne, anything's possible,
Buddhas as bombonieres, indeed quite probable,
Yes, melons of steel finally got her blip!
Can you really believe all this!!!!

Despite proposals along the way,
I never married again,
One was a transvestite, gay,
He did have better lingerie,
I turned him away,
I never saw him again,
I wear menswear, you see,
I would have been Bridezilla in fleece,
I guess that would have been a release,
Married in fleece, beyond belief...........

Yes, I'm still the bard of Bayswater,
Once was a doormat daughter,
Now as the song does say,
I have old grey hair and saggy **** these days,
Don't know if sparks ever fly from my fingertips,
Let alone my ancient fat hips,
Now there's broomsticks over Baysie,
Yesterday sunny, today sodden and hazy,
Floating on a broomstick above Baysie,
In a vision of solitude,
Why is ignoring football considered rude?
Tough, we are all unique,
Some old footy players are total creeps,
Dateline: crocodile tears:
Another classic loss to his team, no cheers!

Brothers on the beach,
Seaside in reach,
The two amigos,
Blood brother bros,
Fraternals and kin,
Pals and companions,
Sidekicks and playmates,
Coastline siblings,
Buddies in the shingles,
A forever brother band,
Golden memories of the strand.

I reminisce on  books I've read,
What, indeed, was the best?
Instead of dull contemplation of the ex,
Consider enlightenment as Buddha's best,
Some hard times put your faith to the test,
Maybe the Beatitudes was the best,
Let's not be drama mamas yet!
Keeping on smiling for a peaceful bless!

Once we were all young,
Bug catchers, supposed to be fun,
Was it for us? The bees stung!
Or for the bugs, poor insects,
They didn't learn much, I guess.........

I feel like Hamburglar,
I went to the Burger Bar
of gifts, like you did, hah hah!
Yes, there's a Burger Bar of life,
Who does get one with the lot? No strife,
We all have gifts, I guess,
A burger bar for life, no less!

A writer gawps at society,
I went to a bus stop after tea,
Littered with used syringes,
Drugs evolving, slightly unhinges,
Why do we accept this as normalcy?
It's a challenge for the authorities,
Or for changing norms in society..........

You can leave on your feet,
or feet first, sweet,
Is that a stir or what?
You look fabulous, male ****!
Don't let geriatrics drag you down,
They do get confused in this town,
They can get very boring,
All their scripts rotating,
You can leave on your feet,
Or feet first, sweet!

We set off for a long weekend,
Does this Carmageddon ever end?
Eventually, we arrive,
That was a long hot drive!
See our tent as it collapses!
"He" does bust all  his synapses!
I unpack, rain commences,
"Let's go home!" he mentions,
Yeah, right, now the dog wants loo,
Did I bring a coat and gumboots too?
Armed escort of mosquitoes,
Forgot insect repellent, oh Woe!
Never mind, not long to go,
Finally made it all the way home,
A weekend of staring at the rain,
Last word to him I say,
"I am never going camping again!"
(And no more I did)... from my brain,
The poet in someone's heart,
From indoor ablutions, I'll never part.........

No, we can't get enough,
Of our concept of love,
Fleeting glances, tough,
Drown in your eyes, love,
Do you want mouth to mouth,
Is there a snog for you, down south?
No, we can't get enough,
Of our own concept of love.....

Here I am, captive to your charms,
Dreaming of embracing in your arms,
Enslaved by sweet addiction,
Gazing at a ceiling of satiation,
Slaking our thirsts of timeless fire,
of each other we never seem to tire,
Captured by the love light in your eyes,
Laughs together, no sad sighs,
Is this compatibility? I ask,
Is loving you a futile task,
or is it  our mutual delight,
Like years of endless nights,
I reflect on a man and romance,
I share in your endless dance,
Dreaming of embracing in your arms,
So, here  I am, captive to your charms.

We're golden oldies, you see,
This is a concern for thee and me,
When your friends look so desperately,
Found the car but lost the keys!
Welcome to senility!

By mistake,  I joined the rat race,
A one off, felt so out of place,
All speeding at a hectic rate,
So, I was in the wrong lane, great!
When changing lanes was a risky business,
Home in one piece, that's all to say, I guess!

Don't let thoughts drag you down,
No need to wear such frowns,
Don't let the bastardos win,
Greet such people with a grin,
Make your own motivation, indeed,
Productive, but rest as well, prithee,
Make the most of today's interim,
Yes, that's the way, carpe diem!!!

Of fur friends I am a fan,
Have you tried a Catscan?
I wander the dark backyard,
Finding Kitty is really hard,
Where are you now, naughty thing?
Do not me any dead mice bring!
I do not need such morn offering,
Catscan for you, do please come in!

To focus on things celestial,
Does include the twinkling stars, astral,
And a love divine, love eternal,
Then there's  guardian angels, ephemeral,
Before Infinity, universal,
We're only humanity, infinitesimal,
Did we come from the stars, historical?
Do we return to the stars, celestial?

We are the celestials,
Different from these terrestrials,
Above such things *******,
I'm an old age girl,
You are my world,
I love you to the moon
And beyond, none too soon,
We wander as stars,
Orbiting afar,
In universe above,
Endless divine love,
Deep in galaxies,
Across time and centuries,
Above the terrestrials,
We are the celestials......

We are the celestials,
Different from these terrestrials,
Above such things *******,
I'm an old age girl,
You are my world,
I love you to the moon
And beyond, none too soon,
We wander as stars,
Orbiting afar,
In universe above,
Endless divine love,
Deep in galaxies,
Across time and centuries,
Above the terrestrials,
We are the celestials......

C'est la guerre, c'est la guerre,
Who's being manipulated, him or her?
How do you spell futile?
Give up bullying meanwhile,
C'est la guerre, c'est la guerre,
Who's being manipulated, him or her?

The tiger pounced,
Arrived unannounced,
She's Chairman Meow,
Don't know how,
Here anyway,
What to say?
Fine thinking woman this,
Doesn't take any blip,
A femme of self-esteem,
A misogynist's dream!
All dance to her tune,
Is this a tiger moon?
"Yes, dear," men reply,
I only look and sigh,
Why can't I be like that?
Training men--old hat?
Really don't know how,
She's Chairman Meow.

Seeing our life's stuff through,
Cheering all champs,
Surviving, thriving, we are
Thoughts, love for human race.

Can anarchy have empathy?
Yes, in our land of Aussies,
We say no wucking furries,
Always more snags on the barbie,
Still listen to a bit of Acca Dacca,
More burgers and fries from Maccas,
Frocked up in trackie dakkies,
Yes, it's the land of Aussies,
Our form of anarchy has empathy!

Imagery of our childhood,
Way back when, are patterns good?
Did we get the pieces to fit?
Is there closure, to get 'over it'?
We're only humans, can make mistakes,
As forming lives, our oldies shaped--
Environment versus heredity,
What is their true legacy?
Is there no closure on way back when
Are puzzles really what childhood meant?

These are our millennial kids,
On them we should not keep lids,
As the future is for children,
Teach them to grow oxygen,
Else there'll be no air to breathe,
A dullton world one day, it seems,
Children grow up too fast,
Which generations shall breathe their last.........

I passed a Chinese café,
After my café au lait,
I read the sign with a moan,
Your cat is not here-go home!

I was sitting by a pond one day,
Through sun motes came the glitter way,
A tiny fairy appeared,
"What's the matter, my dear?
I'll grant a wish, then disappear.."
What to wish for indeed,
A silly book to read?
Or, I know,
my cheeks a'glow,
An endless choccy biscuits pack,
Even if get hideously fat,
So, I asked her, that's that.....
Now I sit by my sunlit pond today,
Munching choc biscuits for ever and a day,
A *** of tea, biscuits neverending,
By my pond, bliss unending......

Listen, girls, it's time to stop stalling,
Can you hear? It's chocolate calling,
It's midnight, not even morning,
Listen it's chocolate calling,
Creep through the house,
Quiet as a mouse,
You've bought a box for your mother,
Well, you can buy her another,
Shhhh, don't tell anyone,
Unwrap chocolate number one,
Eat me, please!
So what for fat hips and knees,
Do you hear?Time to stop stalling,
Listen girls, it's chocolate calling.....

Chocolate heals,
Substitute meals,
Our new faith,
The prophet sayeth,
Chocolate heals,
Break the packet's seals,
Grow cocoa beans,
Better than ****,
Choc's the new religion,
For all of us pigeons,
Good for endorphins,
Fat hips a'morphing,
So what for fat hips?
Chocolate's the blip,
Substitute meals,
Yes, chocolate heals.

What's your opinion,
All you Santa's little minion,
Is commercialisation a treason,
When this is the holy season,
And Jesus is the reason for the season........

I, Angelus, bring you Good News this day,
Joyous the world, one blessed day,
Infant King born on Christmas Day,
Now we only see the Nativity in a play,
While commercialising Christmas Day,
Good excuse for a holiday,
Celebrated in diverse ways,
Too much cant in Christmas Day?
Baby Jesus still blesses us,
As the world turns, spake I, Angelus,
Let' s worship our Infant King with giving,
Life is, indeed, for the living,
The future is for the young,
Their world has now begun,
Jesus spreads His healing love,
Let's bless our lives like peaceful doves,
I, Angelus, bring you Good News this day,
Every day National Peace and Happiness day,
We ain't dead yet, I, Angelus, does say,
From bad shall come good one day,
God blesses us on this Holy day,
This, the true meaning of Christ on Christmas Day,
I, Angelus, bring you Hope and Good News this day.

Hail, Hail, ole Chuck Berry,
I'll write you an obituary,
Baby boomers not so merry,
Hail, Hail, ole Chuck Berry,
His rock'n'roll shall never die,
The legends rock on in the sky,
Now none of us are quite so merry,
Goodbye, bon chance, to ole Chuck Berry,
God speed, you made us all feel merry,
Hail, Hail, ole Chuck Berry....

I see a city one day,
Beneath the world, one way,
When the air disappears,
Climate change is here,
Future city below,
Earth's undertow,
With vertical farms,
Surface is harmed,
Damage control,
A world now old,
Future can shock,
Giant building blocks,
All underground,
No air left around,
No habitats, you see,
In future centuries....
Who will survive?
Anyone left alive?
Below world, the way,
I see one city, one day......

Decluttering was  my intention,
It was like a holiday detention,
But! I found such lots of things,
I couldn't part with anything,
Rummage and ye shall find,
More cupboards when I've got the time,
Cleaning house, not such a bore,
When decluttering is your chore........

Seduced by clichés of love,
We signed on for wedding doves,
Being at those wedding receptions,
All clichés of norms' conventions,
Having a cream puff wedding day,
An expensive way of getting laid,
All clichés for the bridal industry,
Trite cant, and hypocrisy,
BUT--the appliances outlived everyone!!
Wedding gifts when once were young,
On film noir weddings I ponder on,
As these golden years I wander from,
All that phony hypocrisy,
Cliches and norms of society,
D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
(Who didn't hate going to the in-laws for tea?)

The challenge of climate change,
Our atmosphere grows more deranged,
Weather patterns even more strange,
How can we protect our climates,
From multinational eco tyrants?
Big business still defiant,
How can we change our climate?
In defence of **** Sapiens, primates,
We need more than panaceas,
To save our atmosphere,
Heed and listen to constructive ideas,
To change our climate here!

It was all a mystery,
Part of human history,
Was it a doorway with no door?
A portal closed for ever more,
Was it all ancient knowledge?
Forgotten in human's college,
The door to the in-between,
A closed door is all that's seen,
It was all a mystery,
Part of human history!

Closure--"No hard feelings",
What's that, you're speeding!
Last words to end a marriage,
That's what you call a stoppage,
Talk about survivor baggage,
That was our cessation,
Mixed marriage of diverse nations,
Not exactly a happy ending,
Is that closure? "No hard feelings!"

This is a true, but amusing tale,
Hope your laughter does not fail,
'Tis a saga of a cockatoo,
Of life, he held a jaundiced view,
At the going down of the sun,
Cocky embellished his own fun,
And at the rising of each dawn,
Cocky's catharsis our ears did adorn,
The parrot kept talking, none listened to he,
Cocky had such a vivid vocabulary,
All starting with "F...ing C...'s"!
We heard his morning matins, you see,
His vespers were hard to believe,
'Twas sociolinguistic acquisition, prithee,
His jaded look at society,
Swearing is cathartic, but so lazy......

So what did happen to old Cocky,
Swearing away, profanity?
We gave him a new abode,
A cage in a nursing home,
Old Cocky struck it lucky,
Full of parrots, like he,
Cocky believed in sharing,
Oldies heard unique caring,
In his inimitable way,
"You fat f...ing c...s, get out of bed!"
Not sure this is what geriatrics meant,
Cocky and Co. abuse the residents,
Yes, Cocky was communicating,
Soon every cocky was proliferating,
Cocky's happy ending! Let's pray,
He is  still alive and swearing today!

Pathological neurotic co-dependency,
Rhymes with toilet brush gastroendoscopy,
I visualise that toilet brush,
Shoved down his throat thrush,
Or up his male ****,
Not even an excuse for a man,
Bullies don't get, says my nan,
Way too early to be awake,
Way too early to cook him steak,
What does he think he's going to eat?
That toilet brush he'll meet and greet,
Pathological neurotic co-dependency,
Rhymes with toilet brush gastroendoscopy,
All budget friendly and medicine free,
(Guess who swallowed the dictionary!!!!)

Here's a verse for you to say,
As I sip a coffee, hooray,
Yes, my dears, a coffee per day,
Keeps all the grumpies away!

What's the furthest you've been from home?
Not a wanderer,  I rarely roam,
Once I went to Rottnest Island, yes,
Even the ferry was seasick, no less,
Along with its passengers, I guess,
But it's a lovely place in the sun,
Young and old have lots of fun,
Once upon a lifetime ago,
I travelled to Rottnest Island, so!!

I must confess my love,
Ships in the night, my dove,
I do but see you driving by,
I'll love you till the end of time,
But I do not to pieces to fall,
Fragments of love, that's all,
A smile, a wave, a brief hello,
I confess my love, where did you go?
Or where do you come from, my dove?
To you,  I confess my secret love..........

Here's a news item story,
Cost of housing, not such glory,
We all strive for the Great Oz dream,
In suburbia, is it what it seems?
Connect the dots here, folks,
Is affordability a  joke?
Has Dystopia taken command?
Who owns what so grand,
In Oz, Great Southern Land..........

In my burb, cool cars are superstars,
They never seem to travel far,
They drive off to the bottle shop,
Head off home, dodging the cops,
Maybe they seek lively young babes,
I think the **'s are giggling away,
Another trip to the bottle shop,
Your fun police, I am not,
I do not care where your mufflers are,
Cool cars here are superstars!