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1.1k · Aug 2018
Prisoned Self
Jamilla Aug 2018
For me
   Happiness is illegal,
And
   Sadness is my addiction.
897 · Jul 2018
You & I
Jamilla Jul 2018
You made me do the things I was scared to do
You pushed me hard to try new things
You let me explore the world
You give me strength all the time
You likes to see me smile and laugh
You made me feel warm when you give me hugs

I wish I know you better
I wish I have known your suffering too
I wish I get the chance to help you too
I wish you're still here
I wish I got to save you too
I wish I'm not blind to see it in your eyes

I miss you, my happy pill...
I made this because from a movie I watched.
672 · Oct 2018
Who?
Jamilla Oct 2018
I stopped being me long time ago
I can't even remember who that was now
670 · Jun 2018
I Wonder
Jamilla Jun 2018
Most nights
At 3am
I wonder
Where will I be in
Five
Ten
Fifteen
Twenty
Years from now.

Other nights
At 3am
I wonder
If I'll gonna make it that far.
Or lose the chance
Making it that far.
566 · Jun 2018
Stop
Jamilla Jun 2018
I wanted to scream
To ease the pain
I wanted to cry
To let it out
I hate to admit it
But I wanted to die
I want this to stop
To stop being sad
To stop being stuck
To stop becoming I avoid to be
401 · Jul 2018
Baby
Jamilla Jul 2018
You say you love me
You made me feel like I was the only one
You make my heart flutters a lot
You give me butterflies in my stomach
We imagine what future will be for us
If we will be together at the end.

Now,
That you're gone
I still love you
You're still the one I love
How will I take this pain away from my heart?
How those butterflies back in my stomach
Instead of this little creature?
I imagined my future to be with you.
With our supposed to be happy family.

I'll see you there, soon my love.
But for now, I'll be the best mother to our baby boy.
Thank you for giving me this precious gift.
I love you with all my heart.
Hi! I just made this not because this is happening to me. But because I just got inspired to make this one while I was watching a movie.
398 · Jun 2018
Angel in Heaven
Jamilla Jun 2018
Its been months,
Since we've lost you.
Its been a week,
Since I last saw you.
And its been an hour,
Since I last felt your presence.
396 · Oct 2018
I'm Am Not
Jamilla Oct 2018
I am not addicted to alcohol or drugs,
   I am addicted of escaping reality.
390 · Jul 2018
End?
Jamilla Jul 2018
Everytime I close my eyes
All I see was your sad face
All I can do is to cry
I'm sorry we have to part ways
You're still my love
Memories of us is all I have
I won't say my farewell
Coz' I believe this is not yet the end of us
Not yet.
388 · Jul 2018
Sparkle
Jamilla Jul 2018
When you see her
She looks perfectly fine
Look closely into her eyes
You'll see a hundred reasons
No, a million reasons
That you should have stayed.
373 · Jun 2018
Sabi mo pero...
Jamilla Jun 2018
Sabi mo'y ako lang hanggang dulo,
Pero bakit mag-isa nalang ako sa dulo?
Sabi mo'y ako lang ang iyong iibigin,
Pero bakit ako nalang ang umiibig?
Sabi mo'y walang bibitaw,
Pero bakit ikaw ang unang bumitaw?
Sabi mo'y walang iwanan,
Pero bakit ako'y iniwan?
Sabi mo'y tutuparin lahat ng pangako,
Pero bakit lahat ay napako?

Naniwala ako sa lahat,
Pero sana'y di nalang.
Kung lahat ng pinangako,
Dulot lang ay matinding sakit at lungkot.
Dec. 10, 2017
12:59 AM
365 · Jun 2018
What if I ask you?
Jamilla Jun 2018
What if I died today?
Would anyone miss me anyway?
What if I died today?
And I never had the chance to say goodbye.
Would you hate me,
Because I just wanted to stop the pain?
What if I died today?
Would you forget me that easily?
What if I died today?
Would you say good riddance
If you saw me lying there
No heartbeat, just a cold body.
What if I died today?
Would you trap me in your arms,
Like I was trapped in my own mind?
What if I died today?
Would you cry like I did
Every single night, Alone.
Because of the demons in my head.
What if I died today?
Would you realize how much
I wanted all of this to stop
And wish to see my worth.
What if I died today?
Would you see my scars
And wish you'd have noticed
How I was in so much pain?
What if I died today?
Would you care?
Like nobody does.
What if I died today...
360 · Aug 2018
Words become Voice
Jamilla Aug 2018
I write what I feel
I let my emotions sprung free
All this letters make a word
To be a poem-
  And be my voice
355 · Jun 2018
One Big Fight!
Jamilla Jun 2018
I see you smile so bright
I heard you laugh so hard
I felt your touch that so warm
I know that your heart beats so fast.

So please hold on tight
And fight for your life
So us can survive
And every dark will be light.
331 · Sep 2018
Its Over
Jamilla Sep 2018
Badly need someone to lean on
My knees are weak, so faint and down-and-out
My tears are falling, my pretention is over.
330 · Jun 2018
Done
Jamilla Jun 2018
Can't run from it
Stuck in the middle
The worst is I'm trapped
In my own mind

The end is near
I can't keep trying
Stop asking if I'm okay
Cause I know I'll answer the same

My fake smile is getting heavy
My eyes can't hold it back
My mind lose it
Done living in the dark

Going through the motion
I guess its time to quit
Most people fear death
But some pray for it.
327 · Sep 2018
Fix
Jamilla Sep 2018
Fix
I was busy fixing other's life
But who fix me?
325 · Jul 2018
Brain Asks
Jamilla Jul 2018
Do you ever get the chance
To ask yourself
"Why you're still fighting?
In a competition you know your not gonna win?"

Forgive me...
If I die...
320 · Jun 2018
She
Jamilla Jun 2018
She
She cries at night.
She questions her worth.
She always finds her purpose.
She hates herself for loving too much.
She keeps putting the blame on herself.
She gets easily emotional and upset.

This is her story.
She is trying to fight the demons inside her.
310 · Jun 2018
Anxiety
Jamilla Jun 2018
I can't talk to anyone
I can't call you and ask how you are
I can't be friends with anyone
I can't raise my hand
Without the fear of being wrong
I can't hangout with new people

I can't live my life
That I wanted it to be
It's like being in a big ocean
I can get up but I feel numb
It's like wanting to do my best
It's like your drowning but you aren't
It's not a way to live
It's a way to die
302 · Sep 2018
Dying
Jamilla Sep 2018
I was dying to hear someone say
That I didn't need
To try so hard to be perfect,
That I was enough,
Its okay to cry,
And
To be just
Be me.
299 · Sep 2018
Would You
Jamilla Sep 2018
Would you look at me the same
      If you saw all my scars?
      If you knew all my pain?
294 · Jun 2018
Someday...
Jamilla Jun 2018
You held my hand,
When I'm in the verge of giving up.
You caught me when I fell down.
Your one of my inspiration of being strong.
And everytime I think of you,
My mind kept on remembering your words.
Though I'll miss you,
I will remember all the memories that we shared.
In laughter and in sorrow,
In sunshine and through rain.
I know your there,
Someday we will meet again...
281 · Aug 2018
I like the ways
Jamilla Aug 2018
I like the way your eyes sparkle,
It makes me happy.
I like the way you smile,
It makes me smile too.
I like the way your heart beats whenever you're with me,
It makes my heart beats as fast as yours.
270 · Sep 2018
Crush
Jamilla Sep 2018
Met this man before
Wearing a simple gray shirt paring with dark blue jeans and a sneakers
I promised myself I wouldn't fall inlove to him
Never knew that an angel-good looking guy would make a stone-hearted women fell inlove to him
257 · Jun 2018
No Title
Jamilla Jun 2018
Stop saying it's okay
Because you don't get it, okay

Its not easy for me to explain
What was really the pain

I'm not trying to be lazy
I just wanted to escape

I don't have motivation to succeed
And I don't even know why

All I want is a peaceful life
Or maybe give it to me after I die.
254 · Sep 2018
Mon Soleil
Jamilla Sep 2018
The sun watches
     me while I smile
But the moon hears
     me when I cry
244 · Sep 2018
Acceptance
Jamilla Sep 2018
How you accept yourself
Is how you teach
Others to accept you
238 · Jul 2018
Silent
Jamilla Jul 2018
Frozen times and burning memories
Rising faith and new flowers blooming
Faith I had for so long
My heart was the words
And this is my voice.
214 · Jun 2018
Help
Jamilla Jun 2018
Help me find my way
Help me to take this pain
Help me to be what I really am
Help me
Don't ask anymore
Just help me.
204 · Sep 2018
Goldie
Jamilla Sep 2018
Time is gold
But
Someone with a good heart is precious as gold.
197 · Jun 2018
Ransom
Jamilla Jun 2018
Kidnap me
From my reality
And crushed pieces
Of my soul
Color me
Instead of black and white
Until my shattered heart
Back in whole
Again.
179 · May 2019
Sleep?
Jamilla May 2019
I didn't sleep. Coz I'm scared
Scared of what might happen in the next morning.

— The End —