isn't it funny how
you can feel everything all at once
and then
nothing at all.
it feels like you're in the center of a bottomless void
where light doesn't shine and
happiness has lost its warmth
you're unsure of how to be
because you don't know how to dream
cos in reality they never come true
unsure of what higher power
decided to suddenly turn off the lights
and the shadows play with your mind
breeding beasts so horrifying that words can't describe
birthing an insanity that's only belief is
no one truly means what they say
and you're always second guessing
glancing over your shoulder to look for something that only exists
because your mind has personified
all your darkest secrets and worries
and you can't help but flinch
from the helping hand that tries to feed you
for the food might be poisoned
with beliefs too immense for others to comprehend
someone please put me on the mend
i can feel my mothers worry from miles away
and her smile
it fades
like a summers day
she's dying and you feel like
you are too
but no one knows cos
weakness is a weapon used to destroy all the good
so you hide your depression under a hood
a cloak that shuts everyone out
but leaves you drowning
in darkness so suffocating that you question if

there was ever an answer to begin with.

who knows

you break my heart
when your empty looks give more clarity
than the words coming from your mouth
trust means so much more once it's disappeared
and wouldn't i just know its truth

Elin Roberts Jan 12

we sit here and sesh our lives away
crack another can, fight over the last sip
satire is the topic of conversation when
the real issues are too deep to indulge
do we really know what we're doing?
probably not
but who really cares when
the smiles of your friends melt the world away
like butter in a pan
when this atmosphere is truly the only place
i'd ever want to be
in this moment
this life
away from pain and worldly woes
where cigarette smoking is a past time
meant for making memories far deeper
than the fear you feel when looking in the mirror
see a face that has felt so, so much
too much pain and uncertainty
for a collective soul as young as ours
we feel and breathe as a singular being
and that is what friendship is about

and i feel blessed to have finally found a place to call home.

pretty rough but oh well
  Jan 3 Elin Roberts

I've fallen behind you, I cannot escape. I'm hung up to dry with the truth. I cannot turn back from the life I've chosen. I cannot come back down to the land of mediocrity. You'd be better off not even knowing.

This is the question before the answer,
this is the thought before the action.
I have to move before I'm called out.
I have to speak, won't hold my breath.

I'll just have to see where this goes, who thought I'd be in this place? Never looking where I'm going, I'll dodge the traffic in front of me. I've become something you could never comprehend. Living life free from emotion, free from your control. I cannot get enough.

This is the question before the answer,
this is the thought before the action.
I have to move before I'm called out.
I have to speak, won't hold my breath.
Tomorrow becomes today.

Baby if you call me at 4 am,
Too sad to even say hello,
I will listen to your sadness,
Until you fall asleep.

I’ll name my price
offer a body to contort
make you mine
to extort.

I’ll paint shadows
with the curvature of my spine
snare you in the anticipation of ecstasy
until you feel your heart beat
of skin.  
before I squeeze it in
that little bit extra
I’m already on fire
like Carmen Electra
you’ll never be able to afford me
after the VAT.

Someone tried testing my poetic ability and asked me to write an erotic poem about VAT. How did I do?
  Dec 2017 Elin Roberts
rachel huberty

sometimes just to think of you
feels like dying because i believed
we shared a soul
but i had to grow my other half
after you left and the roots are still
sinking into the soil and the flowers,
they haven't fully grown yet,
but one day a garden will flourish
from my body and my mind will be
the sunlight that feeds them
- carranam

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