Elin Roberts Nov 8

i'm not a broken toy, lying face first for your amusement
you fill in the gaps of my missing pieces with yourself
yet wonder why my emotional attachment to you is so strong
your very essence sticks to me
whilst your calloused hands stroke the broken parts of this being
molding and pulling at my soul
creating something that's very existence relies on your touch
but that isn't me.
i'm not to be owned nor bought
not to be made into something i'm not
i am my own person
i shall heal and grow without your 'helping hand'
so please, leave me be
in another time, another life, maybe
this would be needed
but this is nor here nor now
nor shall it ever be the case again
i am an eagle, and you the cage
so i shall set my wings free
take flight to a place unknown to you
and here is where i shall nest
until each heavy sigh is more to do with my sanity
and less to do with forgetting your voice
telling me to stay

it's time to set me free
  Nov 3 Elin Roberts

blood, guts, bombs
cries & screams

so prevalent
it inspires
one to kill

none of us are as innocent
as we claim to be, are we?

just a thought on how we
compare to those we alienate.

inspired by: ted kaczynski
Elin Roberts Nov 3

take another shot, ease the pain
drink away your woes and troubles
after all the fact of the matter is
it's easier to lay on the bathroom floor than to look in the mirror
see the reflection of a person you're not quite sure how you became
wonder where it went wrong or whether it was ever right to begin with
an unanswerable question that eats away at your mind
similar to depressions unwanted yet lasting touch
similar to a mothers worry, why did her baby turn out this way?
too emotional all the time yet emotionless at best
how can you think when you're mind is so avidly against your happiness?
you can't, maybe even won't, cos it's too hard to come to terms with this day, this life
and my brain feels like a machine with a cog in the works
constantly jamming my ability to relate to sensibility
because the person i am is unknown to those who care
unknown to the person you wish to be
and i feel unable to relate to this state of mind
that i seem to constantly find myself in
but oh well
fuck it.
run away to another place, another scene
change my speed of pace
get them to believe in yourself when you can't
cos they don't know what's what and who's who
don't know that this reflection is one of evil nature
and that's okay cos they don't know enough to care
whereas you do
and always will.

Elin Roberts Oct 11

i feel like i've lost myself
through trying to hold on to something that
has already escaped me
maybe i never even had it

you see
envisioning you is a poison i drink often
deluding me into thoughts that...
that we...

that maybe someday we'll reunite.
but my heart knows better than my head
my heart knows that this 'someday'
will never see a sunrise

so for now i'll lay my body to rest
place my head upon this tear stained pillow
and grasp for comfort in the empty space beside me

forever awaiting a day that won't come

you're back but not here
Elin Roberts Oct 5

travel is expensive
so i'll pay with emotion instead
get away from this frame of mind
to a place where i'm still yours
to a place where i don't belong to the pain i feel in my chest when my heart cries your name

Elin Roberts Oct 5

if i smoke enough
maybe i'll lose my voice
let it turn into a hoarse croak
only then will i not scream your name to sky
when familiarity doesn't know your touch

  Oct 5 Elin Roberts

i think my best friend
is dead

no joke
no lie
i think she has died

we haven't talked in
5 years
and i miss her like you miss
after you've been up all day

like you miss seeing
while your eyes are closed

like you miss smiling
when you're sad out of your mind

i miss her like you miss
your best friend
who has gone

i miss her like
the other half

of me

I just needed to talk about this
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