we're not as stupid as we were told, the years of abuse has made us cold
the love is gone and hate won't hold
we're not the ones to be bred and sold,
we're more then
a small heart beating, repeating the world over and over in a rhythm to make a song of life;
black river, blue skies, two faces in the crowd weaving sunlight,
grey world and white,
taught to be loved but finding not a soul by your side,
we have come from the same place, same stories and tales,
albeit different words but the same sounds, the noise;
when you've been screaming all night cold but no one is there to hear your voice;
words perish into the pages, tears cash in blood and ink-
reflection from the mirror, ugly and faded;
when did it matter when we began to think ?
when we began to sing, bowing to the queens and kings,
breathing the world in and watching all of its sins
and lies, what we know and have seen from our eyes;
unheard, what they don't see..what they can't see,
drawing the world in the shapes we want it to be;
always told that the mind won't hold over the matter,
and dreams are...just dreams, build and bred to be shattered,
in a million pieces to be scattered, so we never find ourselves;
the old road has been bitter, the steps ahead lost to the mist,
echoing the same reason that made us clench our fist;
spoken ill, made to be weak..blindfolded with what they had to teach,
but we learned, as they preached;
the one's who got away,
the one's who got away,
now we suffer, from another siege,
locked and chained, walked through years of tears and defeat;
made weak, enough scars that we won't leave,
tied in love, awoken in dusk..the dawn has always been on the far,
falling prey to their lies as we rust and bleed;
we could never see a mother weep, there is something hollow somewhere deep;
walking to the edge of the world, only to fall and meet,
the one's who got away,
the one's who got away,
they would never know our pain, as we watch another one die,
who are you, I've never heard them ask us why,
if only we could see them cry;
and they still pry on us,
now a black heart beating, repeating the world over and over in a rhythm to make a song of lies;
we have always been more, if only they could ever see the world from our eyes.

Young harry was staring down his own ****
When he heard his mom screaming through the walls
"Come down at once, little harry"
He knew it was his moms final wake up call
He stared in the mirror one last of time
And he could see that something was wrong with his eyes
Afraid if he sought too deep he would encounter what he isn't supposed to find
He must remember that sometimes nightmares are but a lie
He crept through the mundane routine of cleaning self
As if making himself pure of the disgust he had in store
Dreaming about saving the world from the ****** monsters
He was sure that if anything - he didn't want to be himself anymore
He touched the prisoners attire put ever so neatly on his bed
Something about the fabric made him wither in rage
Filling all of their disdain and beliefs all day in his head
He couldn't believe he was but a slave at this day and age
Recalling how destiny plays a certain part in deciding ones fate
He'll always have a deep seeded hatred against his faith
For he was born and bred without any control of his
And that if he knows anything - he'll know it was only a mistake
So, putting on the tie and smiling for the first time in weeks
Harry watched his reflection in the mirror change
I hope it's a beautiful day thought he
No one's in the joke yet of what now he had became
.
.
Little birds chatter outside safely in their warm nest
And the newspaper boy dives by the street in a breeze
Warm corpses ready themselves for another day of nothingness
Talking as if they really remember the stories they believe
But little harry had an ace up his sleeve
He wouldn't crawl around like another insect waiting to be crushed
Instead he would light the fire of his agony
And wait as he and his destiny slowly burn to dust
He must be ready before they find out what he has in mind
Nothing scares him more than the shadows he counts all night
There isn't anything that he won't choose to leave behind
For there won't be no tears as he watches it all go out of sight
Everything was perfectly stable till he joined the crowd
And now he has no place to call as his own
He has no clue what that circus is all about
And if he can claim anything - it's that he has no home
Now left only a wanderer in this place of rules and law
He has but forsaken any hope of retribution
Tired of learning their ways and flaws
He has but chalked up his own bearing conclusion
No more shall he bleed for their amusement
Abuse of their power must now come to an end
Cure is sometimes more lethal than prevention
And sometimes it's not easy to differ between a spur and an intent
.
.
Harry had by now walked out of his room and into a hall
And his mother was sitting still by the chair with ketchup in her hair
He assumed she was the reason why he wasn't as tall
And responded by spilling his moms own ketchup everywhere
There wasn't much left of him anyhow either
All but a face peeking through the atrocities of a time-line
As if wallowing in reckoning of the leading piper
It was now that he will claim his moment to shine
Those days of utter torment most difficult to forget
And how easy it was to pretend like someone actually cares
People don't have a clue how lonely it can get
Searching for magic wand that's nowhere
By now his head had cleared of the ills of the pills
And he could sharply respond to the environment he was in
He had but a greater role to now act and fill
A messiah to cleanse everyone of their guilt and sin
So, little young harry put his dads toy in his backpack
And soon he was on his way to carve a lore
Not about to give in to the pain and hurt he must've had
He thought to himself; what a beautiful day to be remembered for.

this life it *****, it rusts in dust
it lusts for the thirst of your blood
flowers in dirt and dies in dusk
count your scars in tears plucked
wearing a mask of mothers guilt
in the same home, a father once built
by the same hands that devoured love
of a few names that a box once filled
smothered by the memories tamed
unspoken words burning the remains
from all those dreams that were killed
none shall see the face smile again
standing so still against the wall
almost dead if not for your shadow
there is no room for you here at all
them lies are all buried in the meadows
whispering in the winds now again
how hollow is the lonely song
the piper keeps piling the corpses
only for more to come back along.

an old man sits quietly and watch the sun rise beyond the mountains,
a lonely young girl kisses a red rose fondly and throws it in the fountain,
a small boy runs past a mother of three looking for her daughter,
a man silently lights up a cigarette and stands by the corner,
a fat man eyes the candy shop and quickly turns his head round,
someone in black stares at the sky as they lower the coffin into the ground,
one little girl eye the beautiful lady standing next to her at the shop,
someone walking past the flower shop halts as the traffic stops,
two dreaming eyes gaze at the four eyes staring into each other,
one blind kid screams into the walls where echo lingers,
a lady in wheelchair smiles as she hands herself to her man,
two little kids in the Park slowly destroy the castle made in sand,
one man in uniform looks up at the New shiny building by the street,
a tall beautiful man looks past his eyes as they begin to weep,
a dog barks as the postman delivers the last of his chore,
a frail old man sits melancholy waiting at the door,
two young spirits race each other hand in hand at the shore,
a young boy sleeps merrily as a mother sings him a lore,
a daughter watches her father as he lovingly kisses his wife,
a mother sits by his boy as he battles death with life,
a young couple strolls down the street into their new home,
an old man sits patiently by the pavement cold and alone,
an old woman sits quietly and watch the sun set beyond the mountains,
a lonely young man picks out a red rose morbidly from a fountain.

Hey yo, take a bow!
Cuz My god is 'gonna start the show
From last couple of days he's on a roll
Blood-shed, massacre's, bombs explode!
Propaganda of religion is a mind control
As guns and knives take their toll,
Watch the world burn as it un-folds
And My god is on it, like a ***** on a *****!



Mike testing..

1
.
2
.
3

Hello, hello!
Can you hear me, my dear fellow!
Let the beat drop and follow
Now take your best shot
Take me to a thrift shop and swallow,
These bitter pills of my devine power
Take a shower, calm down and be mellow,
Cuz i just trolled your god
In the match of 'who-kills-the-lot'
With the most ridiculous excuse,
And the margin was narrow
But i fed on some fanatic minds i borrowed,
From the pits of patriotism,
Coupled with some misplaced sense of nationalism
And the horror of narcissism
To arm these armies of stupid *** men,
To wage a war without any reason
Saints of '****-all-who-apply-logic' are on a mission,
To accuse any sound mind of treason,
Only crushed skulls and blood splatter this season
A truce with ***** girls and mad-hatter will bring your freedom
And the burned children
............. how can i forget the burned children!
Bearing the wrath of their god and his god-men,
But give me a pen and I'll sign the documents to annihilate all of them,
Problem solved, it's not like we have any shortage of *****!





Oh, my, my, my *******' lord,
Why hath thou forsaken ?
I know your divinity infinity,
But could you, possibly, maybe Mistaken ?
Or is it just this other God,
Afraid of your throne being taken ?
Or is it just these miserable men,
Who know only blood equation ?
Oh, my, my, my *******' lord,
Will we ever rise from this tragic situation ?





And **** thy neighbour, or enslave them for labour
Whatever you do never love them or lend them a favour
It's better to burn them if they ask for a different flavour
Let the husband die and ******* watchin' his wife die but don't you dare save her
And if you're feelin' that *****, here's the deal,
Convert her and enslave her!
And don't bother **** the ones, who try to **** you
If you don't die, all the blame will be on you,
Cuz lets pretend for a second, nobody ever truly liked you
Your momma gave birth to you out of the blues
Give up the chase, or a global hatred will ensue
And uncle Sam, who's the biggest player in the scam
But even he won't hesitate to sue,
Your bruised ****** up *** if they don't **** you,
So here's the deal,
Cut off your arms and maybe a leg,
Play the victim card and beg
Set your heart to the east and money to the west
Pretend they can't shoot you in the head if you wear a vest,
For your god will always be right, no matter how stupid he gets
And now you've killed your neighbour, his kids and daughters
Cut off your own arms and legs,
But hey, you can still **** the dead wife!
So no regrets!





Oh, my, my, my *******' lord,
Why hath thou forsaken ?
I know your divinity infinity,
But could you, possibly, maybe Mistaken ?
Or is it just this other God,
Afraid of your throne being taken ?
Or is it just these miserable men,
Who know only blood equation ?
Oh, my, my, my *******' lord,
Will we ever rise from this tragic situation ?

In the hour of slumber,
Shine of the stars conquer
Every nook and corner
Of my fragile Mind

Mute queen sings,
A gush of dream it brings
Give me my wings
In Lullabies of serene silence

I wake in wonders
My heart surrender
I can touch the thunder
With my eyes


I see
What I am
In the
Moon-light
That falls
On the ocean

I see
What I am
In the
Shine of stars
That holds this
Door open


In this moment of calm,
I raise my arms
Floating in the storm
Of my imagination

Made into a maze,
Every turn amaze
Of the worlds face
I can glance into

Brought back to life,
These puzzles won't survive
A memory of night
I could never keep



I believe
I am
But a traveller
Running through
This paradise
Alone

I believe
I am
But a dream
In night sky
I found
My home

I'm that fragment of society
That was cut before it could be reaped
Now I lie here in ecstasy
Waiting to preach





hate




My black heart blending in night sky
I will fall like rain
There'll be no clouds
Just pain


From me to you
You to me




We bite each other
I love the taste of your blood





Smear me all over
Cover me in mud








Bury me in the ground
Where I won't be found








And I'll make this land barren
With hatred profound








Kiss my feet
Are you worthy enough ?









I am that seed
That will make this land burn









And you'll perish for your mistakes
What you've done you'll never know









Ask the mighty one
What have you done





Why you deserve my hate
My vengeance and fury














Vision is cold , no ?
Sight is blurry











With you not knowing
What you made me become









The cold one









You're the society aren't you ?

savage men with army of teeth
mowing down the ancient life
in all of the curses god has preached
he's the one most wicked and vile
mangled veins chocking a mothers breath
Killing another child in wombs darkness
men eating trees, in lores of plants and death
walking on an old yellow road to nothingness
eating radioactive bites and pieces
in bits and diseases, poisoned veins
pouring an acid on time that bleaches
and reaches, where he's no more again
all those naked skeletons seem the same
only buried hand in hand in cold depths
now who's rich, what weight has a name
after all who died have wept and left


sane don't blow a head off, do they
angles don't cut themselves at birth
generations upon generations lost away
in strangers burning all across the world

My dad was my superman when I was small,
I was thin as a skeleton and maybe some four feet tall
And I felt nothing in this world could ever harm me,
Because I knew he was the strongest and brightest of them all.

He carried me on his shoulders for hours at an end,
And more than a dad - he tried to be my friend  
I had everything I could've asked for and then some more,
Life used to so much more colorful and magical back then.

And now I see my superman withering and falling grey,
He now looks nothing like the hero of my yesterday.
So many things I have kept hidden that I want to say
But I can do nothing as I slowly find my own way.

I'll never forgive him for ruining my delusion,
That nothing was even real and everything was a lie
And I'll pretend that whatever he was, was an illusion,
But even in my confusion, I see him through the same eyes.

And it makes it even more unbearable and full of pain,
That whoever he was back then, he'll never be the same
Only an ailing corpse with nothing better to do with his time,
I don't even know what he is now, he looks so strange.

Those memories, I won't be able to clear from my head,
And I would hate him as long as I live, till my last breath
When I see him dying, I have nothing but regret,
I loved him too much I guess and now I wish him dead.

My dad was my superman and now he's frail and old,
Sometimes I pretend that he died a long time ago
He was my everything but the age has taken its toll
And he's the reason why I can't love, he made me cold.

I remember how he used to make me smile and laugh,
Tell me that I was a piece of his soul and heart
Now I have nothing but empty tales to feed my being,
And I watch him slowly fading and it breaks me apart.


I hope he dies and I never have to see him again,
I know I am sick, but there's not a thing I can change
He should have kept his distance and now it's too late
I am his, and he's mine- but I can't take that blame.

It's almost revolting to see how pathetic he actually is,
Even the sight of him is enough to make me sick
I hope he knows how much I hated his magic tricks,
And he made everything magical, with that sly laugh of his.

My dad was my superman and I think he'll always be,
The reason it's too hard is because he means the world to me
And when I see him struggle, I wish I had never known,
That no matter how much you love someone-
someday they'll leave you alone.

In this dark and demoralising time
Herds of sheep walk along in a line
Deaf and numb reeling in despair
Look at the pawn shops , they've sold their minds
Instead buying a propaganda of lies
Too blind to see , too dumb to realise
They are the Soldiers of faith
The army of hypocrite eyes
And they march on , left and right
Straight to the moon
In the shadows they hide , as they walk to the doom
Puppets in the hands of the lords
Rage and fury are the new gods
As they open their infant mouth in their names
As they bestow their misguided enlightenment
To be a part of this game
They are filled with words and a thousand sentences
They feed on the present and forget the consequences
And leave their caves only in the time of unification
A part madness , a part hallucinations
And they march on and oh they march on
The soldiers of fate , the army of hypocrite eyes
Straight for the moon
And not even one stands up to steer them of the inevitable doom...

You're eyes are closing
It's hard to even stand now
Your head feel so heavy
And it feels like you're falling down

I reach out for you
Will you hold me one last time
Before I fall and break away
Will you tell me you'll always be mine

Sunshine screams at the winter
Struggles to remind us of the spring Where we were once young and free
Winter took away our wings

The flower lies dead in the vase
Forgotten as we forgot ourselves
Now there's no time to be alive
Love is gone and the pain has wept

Now we walk where nothing remains
Hollowed out of all it's life
Maybe we'll reach that crossroad once again
Where we'll finally leave behind this night

That haunts our sunshine
We're afraid to embrace its warmth
For it will now only burn
And now we're too fragile to even love

We'll keep on walking away
Till we feel each other no more
Further than the fading stars
At the end of the world were we can be alone

Away from the prying eyes
And the secrets they hide
We run as far a we can
From their tearful eyes

The sun is fading away
Sky is lost to the stars
We're bleeding as we walk
Leaving behind pieces of our heart








So we can find each other again




Can you hold me now
Tell me its 'gonna be alright
That i don't have to **** myself
You'll always be by my side

Will you look in the mirror
What do you see
Do you still see yourself
Or now its just me

Will you smile for me
So i can feel like i belong
In your arms all night
Will you take me along

Where you keep your secrets
Will you show me a part
So when its a gloomy day
I have something to keep me from falling apart

Will you dance with me
In the dark , one last time
So i can hold you once more
And never let you leave me behind

Will you tell me I'm beautiful
And its just the scars that are ugly
Will you give up all for me
And just love me

Can you still love me
Will you fall for a ghost
Lost in the darkness
Every word is so cold

Will you be cold too
When i hold you in my arms
Or will the ice do its magic
And make you feel warm


Will you reach out for me
Like i reach out for you
Will you ever love me
That way I've always loved you





we can still find each other again

Let the man love his man
Let the woman love her woman
its not yours , its their lifes
they're no animals , its their right
Loving can never be a sin
Love can never be immoral
A lover can never be a sinner
For love is eternal
So maybe it's time to shut those mouths
No one wants your opinion , quit the shouts
It's their life not yours
Stop interfering in something you know nothing about

Let the man love his man
You don't have to judge
Let the woman love her woman
What is their crime: love ?

as they came and broke the silence
the violence in my red heart raged
not enough blood to avenge and
quench the thirst locked and caged

more than your guilt can harbour
there are always more wars to wage
and you think it must be a dream
so you scream yourself awake

only to have birth in the mirror
a reflection perhaps more than self
words fade into the cold whisper
on the other side, as far no one can tell

only a dream you whisper again
as if monsters pity a forsaken child
counting memories to keep sane
slowly turning poisoned and vile

they break down the walls, as if
nothing had stood there all these years
if they have to take my all, so be it
I've always known more than my tears

i have struggled to wear them masks
painted black and white, grey and sorrow
one-day they'll be here to take me at last
but even now my days feel so hollow

so they say we all bleed the same
tell me, have you ever tasted blood
how can they be more than my blame
when I've never known as they have such

in every drop of ash spilled and combust
burns an ocean of dawn and dusk
in the depths where rotten flesh rusts
breeds the darkness, bones and dust

from there I will find myself again
so deep, even scars won't reach there
and the dead would heed my claim
I will feed, on ones far and dear

a few noises and then morbid silence
silver haze falling through a window
there by the stars in the sky, I see
drops of love falling as cries a widow

I've seen it all before, I have had
enough to make you mad, and trapped
I've known them talk to me, and go back
only a glimpse of hell makes you go black

they can eat me as they would like
i am more than the bones they can break
what do you do to the dog who bites
you bite that dog back than be a slave

one hand and two doves
an elephant hiding in the gloves
three fingers and one ring
a broken boat that wouldn't sink
seven ounces written in
words in the air without ink
a wizard dancing on the moon
making the flowers bloom
In gloom of the room
weaving stars in mid-air
for the witch on the broom
falling down in rain and petals on
a body cut half in two
doctor wouldn't know what to do
severed head served on a plate
eyes admiring the view
a gypsy sitting on the chair
wrapped in clothes and hair
Talking to a floating head
asking for directions
to a headless body awaiting
an embrace and dissection
a man hiding in anothers flesh
vanishing in thin air
the scent of ****** blood
eclipsing all everywhere
candles burning in shadows
a river of wax dripping from an ear
molten corpses whispering
in more tongues they can hear
near the box that swallows
every word that has been spoken
flesh falling from the bones
fresh and rotten
as the wand touches the hat
and a hand caresses an eye
reaching deep inside the abyss
so every card can live a lie
in the shade that falls across
glittering butterflies in the sky
the ones staring in the mirror
might lose their eyes
and go blind
before they can even hear the words.

may the corpses rest in peace
killed by them scars and disease
cutting a smile in half
awaiting the sweet relief

tears spilling in grief
breathing the ever lasting pain
until it's too late to leave
I don't know what I became

and ran through those doors
out in the ocean
climbing up the walls
that are now old and broken

swam with the sharks
and I danced with the clouds
as a symphony of thunder played
beyond the reach and loud

lightning up the fiery stars
as they fell down from the sky
exploding in a thousand pieces
and no one could hear me cry

that was a rather lonely time
there was not much to find
in dark that consumed me whole
i lost all that was ever mine

i turned to see but it was gone
nothing but empty space all around
i screamed and wept for the names
but there was never to be no sound

then a shiver ran through my bones
and I felt a stranger in my own skin
thunder was raging up and high
I thought that would be my coffin

and then I saw the dead crawling
in numbers on the shore
a sea of rotten meat
like they sang in the old lores

winds blew me to the herd
as they grazed beyond a red sea
the sky was full of birds
more than it was supposed to be

there I stood in the shadows
mesmerized by what I had seen
memories spent in mourning
how long could it have been

I'm forgetting all that matters
time has never felt so wrong
in the ages that have been withered
have I been dead for so long ?




i remember dreaming of a ghost
in whispers I heard him sing
he told me that I shall too be
swept away by the northern winds

It rained cats and dogs
as I stared at a lions creed
one heart and two arms
and a broken clock to feed
As I slept with angels
dreaming about the scars
every needle that melts
powdered white and cold stars
looking beyond my eyes
in my pretty smile and ugly teeth
he who spoke must have lied
for I see no god come and leave
nor a piper smoking a pipe
burning words and inking tears
i see a shadow play and hide
silently killing all of his peers
my words consume themselves
empty spaces howl hollowness
four walls keep me safe from myself
and a fragile bubble of nothingness

I watch them hurt themselves
by edges of a broken mirrors face
so clearly they see ourselves
before they can draw and fade
and combust before they sing
names and colours they've seen
no master has ever loved a king
In tales of red they have been
I have known them ponder
upon a ocean they cannot drink
in dark depths fall and wonder
walking themselves to the brink
and I see myself holding a crown
they will never know who I am
throne is mine to keep and drown
in crowd of too many I am but a man
cats and dogs will eat each other
before they ever kiss the ground
and there's plenty on this good earth
to make the world move around
monsters won't devour my soul
in the end, my skin is my creed
an old lion can never be whole
i am universe when I fall asleep

Stan woke up in confusion, in midst of white almost blinding light,
The last thing he remembered was falling in the lake last night.

Ted was still screaming when he opened his eyes,
A moment ago he was sitting in his car blazing past a red light.


Stan saw ted and whispered in confusion
- " er, where am I ?".

Ted was confused himself but slowly replied
- " I think we've both died"


And at that moment a strange figure emerged from the light,
He had a long beard and was covered in white left and right.

The stranger whispered
- " I am god and I welcome you to the otherside".
He looked at ted
- "follow me my sweet child".


The two of them then walked through what felt like an eternity,
Still confused if what they were witnessing was indeed reality.

They came to a large gate and a deep pit on the ground,
There were rows of cubicles and men with files all around.

God turned to them and said
- " we'll go through your files and send you to heaven or hell "
A chill ran down their spine
- " if you have anything to say in-between, please do tell ".

God cleared his throat
"come forward who ever the hell Stan Bundy is"
Stan took a step and god began
- " you died last night when you got drunk and decided to fish ?.

- "aye, I think so" replied Stan.

God: " you ******' think so, do you think all this is for fun?".

Stan: " I..i don't..er..sir..i mean god.. I was drunk".


God: " whatever, so you are an atheist, Am I right ?"

Stan: " ah..yes.. I mean I was.. Now I am not..that i've seen you from my own eyes. "


God: " later on that but let's check out your profile.. So you have three kids, two dead parents and one wife".

God: " it reads here that you regularly donate to the orphanage"

Stan: " yeah."

God: " you have also helped four hundred and thirty nine people in your life out of pure kindness ".

God: " man O' man, you are directly responsible for bringing fifty two people out of darkness ".

God took a breath and said
- " seems like you are a kind decent man, you respect women, and have equal love for nature and all men ".

God: " ..and you also believe in ..wait..WHAT..equality for homosexuality....! "

Stan: " all men are children of god... I heard that was your philosophy".

God: " .. You think you are really funny don't you, eh punk!
- " i will not answer your question, you can call my attorney, you...you.. Kind little drunk!"


Stan: " but..i..see.."

God: " ENough..step forward ted!"

Ted was scared to death

God: ".. You died while speeding a red light, no kids, two dead parents and a dead wife ".

Ted: " yeah..."

God: " its says here that you killed her but it wasn't proven ".

Ted: " er..god.. You are god.. Don't You know everything "

God: " listen kid, I am far too busy..pardon my french ..to give a **** about you.. And your little things!"

God: " it says here that you were an addict, an abuser, a convict, a murderer and a clown..wait a minute a clown ?"

Ted: " I had a gig with small children"

God: " it says here that you were also a peodaphile.. ".

Ted "..yeah..a peodaphile clown ".

God: " oh that makes sense".

Ted: " but I served my time for the offence"

God: " yeah, yeah.. Whatever..."

God: " you also stole and hurt as many as one thousand two hundred and sixty nine"

Ted: " but I confessed and found you god, I was cleared of my crimes "

God: " by who ?".

Ted: " them priests, who are advocates of you".

God: " oh, I see".

Ted: " I always had faith and I was raised by the holy book "
-".. I hate homosexuality and condemned them as much as I could".


God: " that's impressive".

Ted: " I also despised the ones who don't believe in you, my faith for you is as pure as dew".

God: " yeah, but you have done too much wrong"

Ted:" ..but god.. After I found you I became strong".

Ted: " I was told that all men who believe in you are your children and who don't are satans men, women and children".

God: " I think we should let past be past, you had faith and you found me at last".

Stan: " but.. He is an evil man".

God: " shut the **** up, you don't believe in me..so my laws you won't understand".


Ted: " Stan is a blasphemous pig ".

God: " oh, calm down but I feel you kid"


And so the fate of these two young man was put on hold,
God sent his staff to earth and a survey was done.

The clear majority chose gods law over the rational verdict out cold
And thus in the end it was clear that ted had won.


God went over to Stan and whispered in his ears
- " I am but a mere belief of men, holy books define me and I can't be rational in the end".

And Stan spoke in tears
- " to have no faith but only kindness was what I thought you would always preach,
Even though I didn't believe in you, I always thought this would be what you would teach ".

And ted spoke in fear

- " and I embrace him the way I was told, it isn't my fault that people have made all of this a big joke ".

And thus Stan was cast in hell and ted was made in heaven,
God stared beyond the stars and there was a smile on the face of Satan.


And god whispered to the lonely spaces of the universe..




How a kind man is found ill,
-They speak of it in my will
Faith was never a weapon,
To by used to inflict pain and ****.

I was meant to be,
A guidance to be brave and love
In a world of stones and idols,
My words were used as a curse.

My name is taken in vain,
To spill blood and cut veins
And they seek me when it's done,
So they can be pure again.

I was but to be in thy hearts,
To be found in every face
But instead they found me in books,
Them idols and holy place.

And now I wonder,
who I am ?
Father of my child,
Or king of a man ?.

Tim wasn't the only one infected,
But he was the only one who wasn't turning into a duck.
It had been more than two years of horror,
And almost every part of the world had been struck.

This new disease was carried through the shiny electronic devices,
That had gripped the world in a photogenic way.
Every wall and post reeked of the self centeredness,
And all that led to this last man standing scenario today.

Tim was resisting his fate by throwing away all the devices he could find,
But his hope was slowly degrading, as they were scattered everywhere.
He was experiencing what scientists called as a celebrity syndrome,
The last stage before he would give in, it was almost too hard to bear.

His soul was being crushed within his hundred dollar shirt,
But he was far more inclined to break the mirror in front of his eyes.
The disease was spreading through his arms and hands now,
And in sometime there would be no place left to hide.

Everyone at his school had turned into a duck the other day,
He had seen it from his own eyes, as all his friends got stuck on the web.
Scientists were baffled how it spread impervious of one's religion or faith,
They said the only part recognizable after the infection spreads is the head.

He found his moms name last night too, posted on the wall of lost people.
Tim could only rub his eyes, she was only fifty -five.
He had no clue of what to do, he was already feeling so miserable,
His father had already died, lost sister at twenty-five.

Tim was growing restless by the second, wrestling with his own arms,
But it was too much to handle and finally his hands got free,
He flashed the electronic device at the mirror, it felt warm,
And that's how Tim became the last casualty on earth to catch a selfie.

It's four in the morning,
And my eyes are still open so wide.
A pen shivering in my hands,
Waiting for me to breathe into it-
Some Life.
I wonder where my sleep is
-Does it ever miss me too ?
I ponder over it like a mad-man,
Such a trivial thought,
But it paints me my blues.
There's nothing but silence-
Or maybe,
Silence and nothing.
Which way does the road leads ?
-A dark descent in madness.
Would I bleed emptiness,
If nothing is left inside.
Would silence prevail my screams,
And it would seem I am alive-
From the outside.
Is there a way to feed on the silence,
If not-
Would I be hungry forever ?
I seek solitude in disguise,
Served in solace-
With a hint of serenity together.
Moon-light is the preferred sauce,
And I don't feed unless-
I have no cause.
The clause clearly states that-
Dark clouds may hamper the supper,
But I had one the other night-
And the moon disappeared.
Would it be still here, somewhere ?
Can it hear me,
With all the dreams it bears.
So many souls lost in peace,
A buffet of tales,
For it to feed upon.
But I am sure,
It must feel alone-
For we haven't seen each other,
In a while.
It's so exhausting to walk so many miles.
Only to find scars and a barren land,
I hope someday I would understand,
Why I see a man-
When I stare in the night sky.
Is it a trick of the eye,
Magic ?
As they say.
Delusional fusion of illusion,
Escalation of my confusion-
If the man wears the crown of scars,
Or if those scars wear the man.
Is it not tempting-
To be so close with the stars,
In reach of his hands.
Do they kiss his skin,
Whenever he stands.
Or do they disperse in star-dust,
With dusk,
As if he's waving a magic wand.
I wonder if the earth can still find him,
Even if the eyes don't seek him no more,
I remember before,
Every-night he would sing a lore.
The time swept the tides,
And now I see no moon-light.
Only street-lights grace this oasis -
Made of star-dust,
But a heaven no more.
Pillars of concrete emotions,
Rise through the air.
Who ate the sky, I wonder,
I see no sign of it anywhere.
My world isn't big enough,
But how big really is life ?
Would I deserve my answer,
If I walk through it alive ?
Or is the question too fragile,
Dangling by a noose of faith,
My fate, isn't mine at all-
So how am I a master,
Of the journey to be made.
Would not the reflection,
Touch the mirror and break.
The pieces lost forever,
Even though the time won't wait.
A curious curiosity of reality,
Side effects abundant-
But can be cured easily,
By a daily dose of fantasy.
Though it can alter mentality,
Patient won't suffer from duality.
Fantastical whimsical array of-
Spectacular rectangular view,
Drawn in circles,
In three dimensional fashion.
A factional directional window-
For rational,
Though the mind would-
Serve thy passion.
Only if they understood,
A name isn't what's true.
An essential equation of reasons,
As seasons change hue.
My ink is due,
But the words still scan the page.
Every moment is grow,
With All these memories I age.
Won't the world sing me a song,
It promised when I was born.
Heavy and sinking,
With all the past I have borne.
It's not five in the morning,
But it feels so close.
I left my dreams to die, again-
And yet, I feel no remorse.
The barren wings lift the sky,
Enough to keep me awake.
The eyes keep begging for more,
And tears have yet to make a lake.
The mighty must have lied,
There so no philosophy here to learn.
All that is, will be gone,
His chosen gift ever-ready to burn.
And the angels have all but died,
Mighty bridge of darkness,
Burned all through the other side.
No more trips to the dark corners,
Only four walls and no trees to oblige.
how would I ever taste the fruit now,
Will the leaves still kiss my feet ?
I miss the meadows of naked -
Whispers,
As they wither,
For the hours that cut inside deep.
No more ashes left to keep,
As the sun now consumes our all.
Taking with itself,
As it falls,
The last ray of hope too.
Wish the men had known,
Diamonds grow in the sky.
To be cultivated and grown,
Till they cover all of our eye.
That's where the dreams are gone,
And that's where the moon hides.
Behind the haze,
That litters the horizon-
Is where the universe resides.

here I am
ugly and weak
old and rotten
forgotten in my sleep
dreams are just whispers
nothing more than lies
darkness of the world
hidden in closed eyes
sometimes I find my pain
sometimes I scream a name
night after night I mourn the same

here I am
breathing the cold
as I numb my skin
there's a fire raging within
ashes fill my veins
and tears kiss my lips
as I wither in the thought of you being in arms of his

here I am
like I have always been
and there you are
a beautiful dream
sometimes I drown
sometimes I remember
you were here once
now it's another November
before the dead of December
bring me back to life

here I am
walking in circles
and seeking in the mirrors
of what fades with time
disappearing with all that was mine
no reflection shows your face
soon there will be no trace
of the place that rests just beyond the pines

here I am
still holding on to the pieces
as they cut me and scare me
and as I bleed the last of my emptiness
you will never find me

here
I am
there
I was
lost.

"stop, Avi you make no sense,
What is so wrong with you, eh
when will you understand?!
You, your words are chaos
You don't write poetry,
you write crap man!"


That's how it is, I am but a kid,
My words make no sense,
My thoughts?
They say i've to get rid of it
The world outside maybe cruel,
But I thought i'll be whole with the ones my kind,
But no!
To them i'm just someone with no depth in his rhymes
Maybe I never read enough,
So my words don't echo the dead voices
I just began to write when I first learned to spell
But again I never had many choices
I tried to break away from the herd,
Those rules and conventions never held me down,
But they always found faults in my method,
Made me turn around


"wait, Avi haha what is this ?
Do these words even mean a thing ?
Your poems are so bad,
Mate, you are good for nothing
And what's up with this one over here,
Do you think anyone will read it ?
Even if they did by mistake,
Don't you think they'll find it stupid ?


He walks on the lonely trails,
Forgotten with passage of time
Every sight is a word,
Painting a picture in his Mind
He picks a blade instead,
Time to draw some scars
Even if we run to the end of the world,
We can never escape who we really are
He makes a wish and lets go,
May the winds reach their place
He looks in the mirror and stares hard,
But he can't recognize his own face


"today I feel like dying,
Its 3 am and everyone's asleep
I guess i'll go for a walk
Been weeks now but I just can't sleep"

"it was quiet dark and lonely,
But the silence held some kind of magic
My hands ache to write something,
But I won't, I know it'll be too tragic"


Take me as I am,
If I am nothing else, i'm pure
Even though I can't write
I still feel like a poet down to the core
I know you'll frown,
But I cant lie, I dont want to live anymore
But I know someday i'll die,
So i'm 'gonna put up with life somemore  
All I want is to be heard,
Guess that's not too much to ask
To move someone with my words,
A quiet feeling that would last
I don't want to be remembered
But I want someone to know who I was,
That I always found my way back, alone
No matter how lost I was
That even though I kissed the blade,
It never was a friend,
that I am sorry for all I did,
But sometimes I just wanted it all to end


"why are you sad , Avi ?
Don't you have everything ?"

- I guess something's wrong with my brain,
It just keeps coming back all over again


"why don't you opt for therapy"

-them drugs could never make me happy

"you don't have to be so ******* yourself"

- sometimes it's the only thing that helps


"Avi, remember we're all here for you"


-I don't care, i've fought all my battles without you


"if you go on like this you'll even lose the ones that are left"


-I guess it's true what doc said, no one can save me from myself



I wait in the hall,
She calls my name out
"he is ready for you"
Rings a little loud
I walk inside the door,
There he is , so old and grey
I wonder what he'll say
But there's just silence today
"Avi, i saw your reports
It shows improvement
i guess those sessions are working"
-what about my inner torment ?
"it's all in your mind"
- i know
" these pills will help you "
-i know
"take one in the morning
And one in the night,
One when you feel sick
And one when you feel alright"
- will it ever stop ?
"it's hard to say
- why me ,doc?
- Avi, you were born this way...




"avi, I'm sorry but i can't stay"

- i know , just go away


"i wish you could change"


-I'm comfortable in strange


"you don't have to be this way"


- but that's all who i am today..




Take me away and bring back my remains,
Standing on the other side won't make  the winds change
It'll all be as it was and I'll be lost,
Burning me won't fade my name
Hurt me with your lies,
And **** me with your truth
If i had a chance to be happy
Trust me, i would
But there's no hope,
I can't live in lies
This is all who i am ,
And i don't even know why
Maybe I'll learn to pretend,
Maybe I'll die
But no matter what happens,
I know there'll be no one by my side





" you're at it again , don't you?
You just make a fool of yourself,
Stop showing them your work
Or they'll start making fun of you themselves,
What's the matter, Avi ?
Did my words made you cry ?
Now write a poem about it,
That no one will ever read , oh my!"


I always struggled with words,
They were so hard to come by
And when they finally did,
I froze and couldn't write
But when I did write,
I never stopped to see what they meant ,
I could finally fight my demons,
And I could do it over and over again
I wish I was better,
And could fuse beauty in my lines
But I know i'm ugly
And this world never misses a chance to remind,
That I am not a poet
I am but a kid
That no one will ever take me seriously,
And I'll have to live with it


"avi, do you think they understand?"
-some of them

" do you feel alone?"
-no,i have my pen


"Avi, you have to stop writing so dark"
-why ?

"it's not what they want"
- a lie


"so you think they like it?"
-i don't care

"are you any good?"
-no, but I'm getting there



I speak to you with all my heart,
Oh, let me be, just let me be
If I ever write my heart out for you,
Close your eyes, don't you see
if I ever try to make you understand,
Remember, I am not what I claim
Even if I think I belong somehow,
I know, you and me are not the same  





I am but a kid, one sad sad kid...



Bleed away and sleep away,
All your nightmares, dream away
Oh child, step down
From your bed of thorns, walk away...

It's 4:31 am and I'm sitting alone, more dead than alive
I watch as darkness invades the moon, a tear falls from my eye

Old stains of hurt, left on these blank pages to remind where i am
Lost, in despair and so cold that sometimes i forget i am a man

Not just a shadow that i see falling across the room on a wall
Cursing my life, for making me who i am and destroying it all

4:35 am, and it feels like days and weeks have passed by
I don't remember much, i have no clue why i started to cry

It's been always there, inside of me and it feeds on my pain
Winter turns to spring, spring to summer and fall, but it never change

4:40 am, i pick up the blade and poke my wrists
I made it this far and i can't carry on, i have to end it

I remember being happy when i was young, i remember being sad
Being alone on birthdays, 'cause there was no friend i had

I remember having fun on the beach, going mad in the snow
And all this while i was decaying inside, i just didn't know

I knew what love felt like, but i could never replace it with pain
I could never fit in, i was the odd one out, a ******, 'the strange'

4:57 am, i feel the urge to **** myself increasing every minute
I pick up my gun and start putting bullets in it

I can still walk away, if i can make it through this night
But the demons have consumed me, I'm just too weak to fight

I know I'll hurt many people, people who still care
I don't know what to do, i can't find my strength anywhere

I know i've let you down and you were always there for me dad
And it makes it so much more unbearable, that mom, i can never get you back

5:11 am, i guess the only time i smiled was when i was with you my lil' sis
I wish i could take you to the park one last time, there's so much I'm 'gonna miss

I wish i can turn this noise down, which compels me to pull the trigger
But i can see who i am, who i will be clearly in this mirror

I don't want to live in pain, i don't want to be like this
Enough of these lies, therapy and pills, I'm full of that ****

It's the only way out, but i know life can still turn around
Everyone has a story, they don't die and one day they're found

But what if, i won't ever be?, I'll regret i let this moment go to waste  
For i know I'll never do it again, if i don't now, it's a lifetime of wait

I'll die with nothing but hate, at least i can feel the love today  
I don't want to lose that too, get old and die anyway

I don't want them to remember me as a monster, but as a man
Who loved them in his own way, but i know they won't understand

5:30 am, i wish i had been the son you always wanted and couldn't have
Even though you love me, you deserved better than me dad

Lil' sis, i was there when you were born, the most beautiful thing i had ever seen
You'll always be my angel, you and i have always been a great team, sweet dreams

I wish i was there by your side mom, when you took your last breath
You know i loved you, but i felt betrayed when you told me you're 'gonna be dead

I just want to die, i can't shut down the voices in my head
It's been weeks and months and i haven't slept

5:40 am, i pick up the gun, i know what i have to do
I'm sorry sis' but i guess from now on it's 'gonna be just dad and you

6:00 am, sweat trickles down my forehead, I'm afraid and scattered
Maybe I'll meet you soon mom, if there is someplace better

Finger on the trigger, i know it's time for me to leave
I won't let pain take over, i have to put it to sleep









door opens















Little Leslie - yaaawwn.... You forgot to wake me up! Who's 'gonna...... WHAT is that timmy ?









Timmy - I'm sorry but i have to...





















(minutes pass by)








Little Leslie - ok, go ahead, do whatcha 'gotta do, but...... remember you're leaving me all alone by myself, mom is gone now..... and dad barely speaks, all i had was... you,now.... you can too leave!






Timmy - i don't know what to do..  












Little Leslie - just come down and make me breakfast, I'm late for school








(moments pass in complete silence)










Timmy - Leslie.... (starts crying)...i'm sorry i won't....even think about it....... ever again, i....i..i promise!









Leslie - you know i love you and so does dad








Timmy- i know, i love you more than anything









Leslie - than just be my annoying older bro and dads pain-in-the-*** son, it will get better, and that's my promise!








timmy puts the gun down and takes her in his arms, smiling while tears trickle down his eyes and says " how about some ice-cream for breakfast today, princess ?"





































It's 6:31 am and the sun is beginning to rise.

a cold wave sweeps about
as them leaves dance in the air
the road paved with golden hue
and bare trees in mist everywhere

mountains peaking in the distance
and a white sky to cover it all
feeling the gloom as some feel
in the hours before a snowfall

stood one man clothed in black
as black as the darkest night
yellow eyes and red teeth
in the shadows shade he hides

prying upon the withering weather
he watches the moon grow dark
in this hollow there are no whispers
one who speaks gets ripped apart

as the cold sets in the stones
the air becomes dense with despair
this forsaken land grieves and mourns
bleeding in frozen tears

the white eats into the ground
and the beautiful silence bleeds
one can't help but feel drowned
in more beauty that he must keep

the lone man ran for the shelter
but the trees had shed their leaves
the serene path of the golden hue
goes through mountains deep

trapped in this lethal paradise
Intoxicated by the white powder
the winds blowing harder then ever
thunder roaring up high louder

the lone man was disappearing
and the old man had no place to hide
whatever there is has fallen asleep
and the rest have already died

his black cloak soaking in white
sky is falling down with cruel wrath
his footprints disappearing in ashes
now there are no trees and no path

Only one man clothed in white
as white as the whitest white  
red eyes and yellow teeth
upon a paradise he hides

mountains peaking in the distance
and a white sky has covered it all
feeling the longing as some feel
in the hours after the snowfall

He walks upon silver moon-light,
Dancing upon an ocean of stars
Seeking truth in age of darkness,
Wishing upon every morbid scar
To see through burning curtains,
As they fall back into the flames
Blind to what is beyond the stage,
All he can do is see his only pain

That hears the song of night,
Of the dark and dreams untold
Bled of all that there is to hold,
Love is gone and tears are cold


He melts away into the unknown,
To be made in a whispering bird
Circling along the edge of the sky,
Trying to forget their every word
That cuts right through his skin,
Deep into his ever burning Soul
As he dives into the empty sky,
That'll slowly swallow him whole

Drowning in the song of night,
Into an abyss of suffering and pain
There won't be no more dreams
As the dreamer lies buried again


He is feeling the wrath of sorrow,
That falls on him like winter's rain
Searching for a man in the mirror,
But all that reflects is just a name
To be seen across all the universe,
camouflaged in the empty space
To tread where ever the heart is,
And to always find self in a maze

Slowly filling with the song of night,
Empty puddles are full to the brim
They will combust all that is must,
If they take anymore of tears within


He floats in an ocean of dread,
Consumed in his own pagan guilt
To feel the rust in his loneliness,
With walls of solitude he built  
And to be made a cage of lies,
That lay trap to the hidden wait
Bearing the stains of disguise,
There is no otherside of this gate

Wanting the song of night,
To grant him his key to freedom
And be the king of his own self,
Be the master of a lost kingdom


He wants the dark of the night,
To remind him what he once knew
And find him a trail to otherside,
So he can finally pay his devils due
And to be not forgotten by time,
As he moves back to the unknown
To burn and fade after every step,
And break fire with sparks borne

Made in the song of night,
A tale of dark to be left to brew
Deep in the pit of boiling lies
Finding one lie that will be true


He rots away in a depraved corner,
To be found again in heavens lair
And neglect questions as they come,
To find those answers every-where
In midst of an approaching storm,
That brings fear to guide his prey
To have wings but no direction
And every wave takes 'em away  

finding the song of night,
In the hollow of empty reason
To be swept away in illusion
And find self in a different season


He knows the embrace of winds,
Slowly caressing his lonely walls
crawl back to surface from within,
Back from the dead to take a fall
And seep through the cracks in time,
To a place that's in abandoned hope
To be gone forever when awake,
Fall back dead and find no road

Walking in the song of night,
In rhythm with words spoken
To be held against a morbid tear,
And be flooded by an ocean


He rests upon a bed of thorns,
To find comfort in his only hurt
painted in blood-stained flavour,
A withered rose to kiss every word
that die in the chaos of thoughts,
Running dry with every breath
That lay claim upon his nightmares,
To echo silence of a moments death

Melting in the song of night,
Hanging on a crooked wire
That swings by the frozen time,
Cast into a face of ice and fire


He wounds himself of love,
For the love of everything black
Memories that were left to haunt,
A door that won't lead him back
But to an ocean of nothingness,
Where he'll be one with his pain
To be made whole in emptiness,
And find self at a crossroad again

To see the song of night,
Gliding through the night sky
Woven in silvery threads,
A touch that'll miss the eye


He dissolves in the poisonous fumes,
Of the haze that blinds the sun-light
Falling back in fragments of his own,
Searching for another puzzle to hide
And find comfort in a broken mirror,
A thousand faces made to scream
What of a dreamer without a night,
A lonely place to be alive and dream

Singing the song of night,
Till the dawn of the morn' hour
To the world of lost dreams,
Of the stars and a broken heart

To Sing the song of night,
On every step that leads him afar
From the ruins of his home,
Sunrise falling back to his heart

rattling in the cage
'tis but an animal
'tis but a sage
set on fire
for amusement on the stage
breathing rotten smoke
birthing infected curse
here behind the metal
one can hear emotions surge
purge on the innocent mind
back and forth again
like it did the first time
like a pendulum that never stops
and a door that never locks
what about the tears guilt then
if it never drops?
'tis but a tale
of bones old and frail
rusting behind the walls
watching and consuming all
like a pharaoh on a throne
above all but oh so alone
drowning in a sea of eyes
begging a question that never lies
in words and stories
of past and the glory
splurging on wisdom
of the animal
scene morbid and gory
fearing the stains
of another scar
that will rip apart the pieces
and set the animal
blazing through the crowd
oh, will they still scream so loud,
like they did the first time?

.
.
.
.
.
.
echoes and silent noise
drifting apart inside the layers
with a piercing voice
dancing so naked and bare


stop breathing
stop repeating
it's only a dream
it's only a dream
do not scream
do not scream
or you'll wake up









prayers and guilty tears
I was, but I am not here
I watch it all coming near
only to break apart again

I touch and it withers
nor a scream or a whisper
in the depths it will linger
howl till I perish the same









stop breathing
stop feeding
do not make a noise
do not hear the voice
it's only a dream
it's only a dream
do not scream
or you'll wake up








hearing the dusky roads
wearing forgotten steps
fire consumes and chokes
as I will collapse on myself

singularity of the sins
silence learning to sing
there's a face deep within
that will not speak

lights growing dim
smoke travels deep within
I see, I see it take me in
I cannot, I cannot leave













stop breathing
stop bleeding
it's only a dream
it's only a dream
do not scream
do not scream


stop breathing
stop repeating
stop feeding
it's only a dream
it's only a dream


stop bleeding
stop keeping
stop weeping
do not scream
do not scream
it's only a dream





stop breathing
stop breathing
stop breathing
stop breathing







*stop
stop
stop
stop
stop now
or you'll wake up

Look at me and fill the gap, ever wondered, if these empty spaces are just a trap?

If I was you, I won't ever come back, what have I, in these silenced moments which you lack ?  

If you ever tried, why not just kiss it good-bye, is life not enough to make you want to die?

Escape them lies, if you know how to fly, do you think you'll find any wings in the night sky?  



Let my heart rip, ain't no where I'll ever fit
Lit, with fire on the bed of wax where I sit
Won't get rid, of who I am, even though you want it
Leave me be and i'll leave you Disappointed



Take my pain and change my name, look in the mirror, is everything still the same ?

I wait in shame, come again, smear me in your scent, don't you want me to take your blame?

I knew you would ask, if I wear a mask,  what of solitude, if the disguise won't last ?

Look past, what you want me to be, what you see, will it be enough if i break your heart ?


Do you ever feel confused,  when I refuse,
To be made in hurt, when you abuse
Of the lonely nights, when i make love to you
i know what i need, bleed the tears you so wanted
Leave me be, and I'll leave you disappointed