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Apr 26 · 177
the mighty have fallen
aviisevil Apr 26
between, there lies my burden
on my knees i am but a servant

serving at your feet as i've done
a thousand times before

swollen gaze
resting upon your eyes

i can't flinch
and catch me by surprise  

bound in chains, kissed by
******* --

i want to taste your
addictive lies

corrupted conscience
lost in sermons

you're so vindictive it'll
never suffice

you and i cannot

in this malfunctioning

spiralling through summer
as it grows

into autumn, uncertain,
of the winter that passes by

in that weakness i find myself
drawn to you

in your arms of ruthless

suffocate me with your
fruitful diversions

the more i am awake
more it worsens

i'm barely alive haunted
by desertion

desperate for an escape
from this burden

yours even   ever after,
i am truly yours.
you can't have everyone, everyone can't have you.
Jan 31 · 361
beacon of hope
aviisevil Jan 31
beacon of hope
emarald heart of mine

frolicking in

in a transparent

pretending to be

running amok
in the golden fields,

forcing the winds;

and you can see
heaven when

the sun falls

every dark hour

and the beacon
of hope,

becomes me.
beacon of hope is a nice way to start a poem.
Jan 28 · 199
where the day's end
aviisevil Jan 28
look at home,

the night is dark
and yet forgetful

warm room with
bodies sound asleep

cosy air breathes
through the windows

as the leaves fall
somewhere in the future

and a rainy day
is on the offering

carelessly stoking
arms of the clock

it's a shelter still
this warm room

filled with things
that will be --

old and dying,

as the leaves fall
somewhere in the future

for enough springs have
come to pass

now that i sit here
looking at old photographs,

visiting home.
this poem is about time and progression, memories, nostalgia, golden days and dark cold nights. I miss what has happened, and I'm afraid of what is going to be.
aviisevil Jan 26
watch me as i suffocate
at the corner

of this malfunctioning

where all thoughts come
to die

and decompose into
boarded windows

and cracked walls

old and vast
traveling as i have

circling me as i
draw a line

ever further from


cold blue eyes
stare at me

from between the

and there's no place
dark enough to hide


there's a grave divide
in my smile

of all those things
i couldn't whisper

and bring to life

always breathing colours
into the corpses

making love to the ideas
in my folding head

unbecoming of the caught

that grows into new days
and old nights

witnessing the many storms
that have knocked on my door

to lure me out in
the open

where the world can
haunt me

possess my conflicts
and scars

it's alright if i die

here, and now

in this endless moment
that we live in

and call home

where everything's pretty
all the time,

I have nothing else to tell you.
aviisevil Dec 2020
i am small
barely enough to live
another day

i am weak
brittle bones afraid
of being betrayed;

and when i scream
i pretend they're all
here with me inside
my broken mind

maybe it's all a dream
maybe not,

how can i tell
when i'm barely alive ?

i'm too scattered
to fight this settling calm,

i can't sleep
maybe it's in my head

and i can feel it in
my arms --

unsettling my veins,
and in my frozen tears

it's circling inside
of me, always, right here

when the blackness
swirls and swarms;

and it's the same
despair that

i've bled now,
so many a times;

caught in my

far from
the giving sun

to be so old
when i'm young

i am numb and
forever dying

so cold
like the last night,

that i spent with
my eyes wide open

trying to find meaning
in the shadows that
move across the walls

dancing in stark

there's something here
in this room with me that
does not exist

or has ever spoken

and yet i hear it breathing
down my neck,

i can taste the whispers
that have made a home
in the deep of my skin,

i can feel my mind
fighting the dread, the dead
and everything inbetween,

and i love this hurtful
existence, i'm in love with
the flames,  

i've known nothing else
and nothing else can be the
same as this pain --

it's strange how much
we fight the things we cannot

there's this white noise on
the other side of the world
we'll never learn how to
contain --

and it'll seep through
our cities and thoughts

in the same wilderness
as i once was;

you'll just be as weak
and small

as we've always

no rain nor fire
or rivers or trees

just us free,
drowning forever.
once in a while I know I belong in these words I still don't know how to write, but I belong here just the same. I'm the ink, I'm the sight, the story and the song.
Dec 2020 · 305
tonight i see no stars
aviisevil Dec 2020
tonight i see no stars,

tonight the deep black has swallowed what little's left of the world

tonight there's nothing out there to look down upon me from the distance

and she's not here to fold into my arms to comfort my soul

tonight i see no stars, i see no ghosts sailing in the eastern winds

i don't hear the city mourn with its lost lovers and young pain

there's melancholia at every corner filled with silence it cannot contain

maybe there's more to this nothingness that my eye's cannot explain

tonight i see no hope for tomorrow and i don't wait for the promised sun

i'm sitting here in this silent room while the lonely road goes on --

i'm waiting for the birds to sing and break me away from this lonely hour

but it's still an eternity between me and the sounds of the living

and i don't have the comfort of the sky of reminding me how small i am

and smaller still, whatever that ills me and keeps me awake

as i stay still fighting the wilderness that has made a home inside of me

i wonder about distant planets those that exist for nothing

i wonder if they know of my pain, if they know what it means to live with a broken heart that never smiles --

i wonder if there's someone somewhere awake just as i am;

i wonder if his night is filled with stars.
every poem isn't a labour of love, but this one has all my heart!
Dec 2020 · 174
as lovers we die
aviisevil Dec 2020
they'll dance in our skin
make love in our scars

to the sounds of our sin
beneath fallen stars

they'll swim in our dreams
in a home with no doors

drowning as they spin
circling them rotten floors

and as lovers we die,
as lovers we die --

for how less we lived
as lovers we die

you and i,
forever together.
I wish for nothing else, but to find love.
Nov 2020 · 197
in her sleepy frost
aviisevil Nov 2020

she sits by the cogs, turning
fog into mist --

in midst of an autumn, caught in
arms of abyss,

in her sleepy frost, where her
winter sits,

where her wilderness clots
in melancholic conflict

hung by the clocks, and rocks,
in bones, and sticks,

an ocean's worth of rot, no
mortal can sip;

in her drowsy gaze, in her
dreamy drift,

she sits in her loss,
lost in her solemn bliss,

I was sad. so, here's something sad.
aviisevil Sep 2020
home is where the heart is, but what if the heart is broken and lost ?

what then, when there are no roads and no pathways, but a forest with naked trees, and with barely enough sunlight creeping in, to make out the void that surrounds us at all times.

what if a mind does not require a body anymore ?

where do we go from there ?

questions pierce my conscience like an asteroid hitting earth traveling at a thousand miles per heart beat,

evaporating any sense of belief or religion that existed in the deepest corners of my being, resembling a fire that even sun is afraid of --

what if the answers never come ?

what if everything ends before i can wake up, before i have the urge to do something worthwhile with my dreams and fears,

i can build castles in sand and bury my doubts in tiny rooms with tiny beds, but never escape this impending sense of doom that has made a circus in my veins, always to and fro the axis, as i wait for the silence to scream from across the ocean, i guess i'm still waiting for somebody to say my name before i forget how to think,

and i'm still thinking of various ways to end this train of thought and perhaps i'll jump off at the next station, i can see myself from afar howling at the wheels of my suffering for taking a turn for the worse,

it's better if i leave this room before it devours me, i have so much to think and so little room to sit idle, it's as if the walls are suffocating me for fun, every brick vibrating like the bones in my body, trembling in a careless rhythm --

and it feels as if i can never escape from this sadness that has made a nest inside my hollowed body, i am but a step away from breaking down in little brittle pieces of absolute nothing,

i'm so close to being scattered, of crying rivers and oceans of my solitude and misguided birth, but i never do, i never let the rain **** the storm --

i never let the blues paint over the rotten reds, and greens and everything that does not come with a colour,

i enjoy my drakness alone, and i make peace with the ghosts those dance around us when nobody's looking,

i swallow my screams until i'm drowning in my own sorrows, my eyes in a horrific trance, watching the atoms destroy each other a billion times in plain sight,

it kills me that nobody bothers, nobody cares until they're dying, with unrelenting sadness at all times breathing down their necks, ready to bite and drain away the lesser world.

why life when there must've been so much before ? -- i wonder in disguise of madness and tame melancholia, ruined by man made conditions and nefarious activities of the restless and unkept,

and yes, i'm talking about you too, about us, about the gods that live in palaces made of rejected prayers and songs,  

i'm talking about memories, slowly decomposing into dead skin and dusty old book shelves that harbour nothing more than old age and forgotten fingerprints fading away even though the arms of the clocks on the unraveled walls have stopped moving, and the time has stood still peeking from outside the window, waiting for somebody to draw the curtains.

in the cold gloomy room where i've sat everyday for days to come, i sit even now paying attention to every detail, with empty promises and smothered dreams, with voices that echo across the many places inside my mind, buzzing with words that change with every step, and no matter how deep i crawl there'll always be something on the outside that just doesn't make sense.

i wonder if that's how people feel, otherwise it'll be harder for me to explain when i'm done talking,

i'm always breathing the fumes of whispers and stories that people radiate, walking room to room, traveling in circles, and in straight lines that never deviate to accommodate any other shape, reason or thought, always blind to the things passing us by, never turning to see if there's more than what greets the eye when you're looking for something out of place.

perhaps that's why we never leave our souls and wander about in the world of ghosts to see for ourselves if there's more than what we think there is, always believing to choose the lies instead of the truth because we were taught not to be real in this binary world where being out of the box means you're exposed,

that's when i wrestle with the man in the mirror, strangle him and complicate him, abuse him and starve him, carve out his body in my own, paint over him until all that i see, are my eyes peering into my soul, telling my mind that my thoughts have died a sudden death and all there is, is an echo that keeps fading away whenever i remember i do exist, and this is more than just reality, and i'll be better off without my own company,

who am i ? three words that keep me from ending it all, i hope there's no answer.
I'll try to explain what I cannot.
Aug 2020 · 290
solar system and you
aviisevil Aug 2020
demons and ghosts
and things

i cannot compare

frolic in these ruins
made of despair

many a moons have
come and gone

since the sun's

and i still look
for you, here --

I hope it's not my last poem here, but I'm contemplating -- perhaps I'll never write again, perhaps I will, I hope I do. take care for now.. i spent an awesome time here reading wonderful poems, thank you. goodbye.
Aug 2020 · 169
i fxcking hate it here
aviisevil Aug 2020
people live inside me
and they talk

i close my eyes
so they don't find me

but it's just me
in this box

i don't know where
to hide me

for they hear
my every thought

and i don't think
they like me

if i get too close
they bite me

i don't know how
to fight me

can you make
it stop ?

**** me
i don't mince words, i confuse them.
aviisevil Aug 2020
screams and moans
litter the scape

swirling in storms
no soul can escape

and here i sleep;

with no shape

wandering the dusty
old shelves

settled in a picture

frozen in silence.
people are just a figment of imagination and times.
aviisevil Jul 2020
i wish i had a few words
for the things i cannot explain

if i tell you about my hurt
would you tell me about your pain ?

or seek me through the dusk
and as far as the ends of the rain

if i only have for you is love
would you love me back the same ?

of all the things that i've seen
now they slowly blind me

even if this ain't a goodbye
you'll never know where to find me

tears wipe away the slate clean
and with years no one can reclaim

and once i had this dream
where we were young once again

i hope the forest's still green
and that the ocean hasn't changed

if i only have for you is love
would you love me back the same ?

of all the things that i've seen
now they slowly blind me

even if this ain't a goodbye
you'll never know where to find me
I'll never let you find me, but I'll always be there somewhere, behind closed doors and cracked windows, looking out as you look in.
Jun 2020 · 670
what keeps you sad ?
aviisevil Jun 2020
this loneliness it speaks

it seeps into the atmosphere
and creeps into my lungs

and i'm drowning
gasping for air

trying to read
between the lines

before the words

and i am consumed
by the dark.
hello, can you hear me ? I am sad.
aviisevil May 2020
there's nobody out there
behind the voice

all there is
is this vacuum in void

filled with rotten
flowers and emptied sun

drifting around the
asteroid belt

where frequencies
are sung

filling sequenced days
from the last

in various ways
blooming into melancholic

alcoholic space
and in an unholy flask

sailing across the page
between the lines

not enough velocity to
to escape the mind

stuck forever in this
fallen place,

diseased and blind

isn't universe just
a cage that

no poet can rhyme;

nobody can hear you scream
on mars, nevermind.
I'm not sure if there's a cure for heaven, or hell. maybe all there is, is the lack of both.
May 2020 · 167
feelings in a porcelain cup
aviisevil May 2020
i've got you on edge
you've got me by the blade

deep down in my head
we're still not yet awake

something here is dead
stains we cannot erase

sometimes i'd like to forget
violence i cannot escape

between tears we shed
we've made ourselves a lake

and the water's still red
painted blue by our mistake

the rot in you has set
and i can see the lights fade

reflecting secrets we've kept
and i can see them on your face

even though we've just met
there are feelings i cannot fake

since i've tasted your dread
i cannot let ghosts go to waste

and the demons i've fed
dance naked on this empty page

even though we've just met
nobody else can take your place
aviisevil Apr 2020
you still haunt my fears
and dreams

i've blocked out the sun
yet i can still hear you scream
across the lights

and i can still hear you

your presence burn
feed on the dried tears

prance on the memories
enslaved by the forgotten years

and i sit inside the

cold and alone i yearn
learn about the melancholic
corners and spaces

trying to paint
ghosts and their faces

ash leaves behind no
scars and no traces

cold and alone i yearn
frolicking on ends
frozen forever and sedated

the wheels have spun
in arms of someone
and everything else has faded

but your presence
still burns

the flames igniting
the nights

across the skies
and seven seas

as far as the time
can see

you're everywhere

so naked so free

and i have an eternity
of nothing else to be

but be mesmerised
by that that i cannot see

what is that cannot be ?
Apr 2020 · 167
the city hunts at night
aviisevil Apr 2020
chemical nights
city lights
and the isolation

farming dreams
while they scream
in my head

loneliness eats
and it repeats
in synchronisation

insects crawl
while people talk
in my head

gnarly roads
vapours from smoke
and annihilation

words i write
have already died
in calming insulation

and the rot
has set;

the dark coming down
all over me.
the city haunts at night.
Apr 2020 · 150
endless dusk
aviisevil Apr 2020
i know it hurts
but it's better than pain

tangled words
mangled shapes and names

ash to dust
washed away by rains

scars and love
nothing ever remains

in this endless dusk
can you tell me what is true ?

travelled the world
only to come back to you

thoughts converge
electrifying my brain

passion surge
pulling ******* chains

swallowed the curse
now it swims in my veins

tomorrow's blurred
drowned out by the stains

in this endless dusk
can you tell me what is true ?

travelled the world
only to come back to you

only to come back for you
and it's better than pain.
Apr 2020 · 424
aviisevil Apr 2020
i lost myself

waiting for ends
to reveal

gave in to my

confused by what's
not real

other side of
the door

people rot and

of only thing
i am sure

that you were never
really here

what are these
for ?

chronic feelings of

i'll only hurt myself

trying to eat away
the layers

in this vacuum
of cold

there's not a gasp
of air

where emptiness
bleeds a soul

i'm spiralling down
the stairs

and of only thing
i am sure

that you were never
really here

that you were never
really here

that you were never
really here

that you were never
really here
Apr 2020 · 154
murders of the world
aviisevil Apr 2020
beneath the moon
the world's still dark

ocean's are dead
haunted by the sharks

turned on its head
the knife won't stop

filled with summer's debt
winter's not worth breathing

it's only september
and ghosts won't be leaving

children are fed
but mother won't stop

shut those eyes
while they're still sleeping

thoughts multiply
and scars keep breeding

cut open the alive
while they're still speaking

voices of dread
keep repeating over and

**** everyone
be free

stop believing.
thank you for reading.. your input and feedback/review would be greatly appreciated.
Apr 2020 · 147
they killed us darling
aviisevil Apr 2020
fade into the summer

my arms don't wrap
around the winter no more
as they used to

feel the forgotten sky
bless us with uncertainty

and rotten eyes
stare deep into our soul

watch the children of autumn
cascade one by one

breathe in the spores,
the residue of a thousand lies

those that burn
far away from where we stand

and yet the ashes
won't spare the distance

nor this golden sky
save us from the approaching

and one by one
in the winds
we shall fall too

clinging on to each other
ruined by our dreams

melting into the stardust
kissed by death
Mar 2020 · 141
the timid child
aviisevil Mar 2020
i want to rule the infinite
perish in flames

draw a naked kingdom
and wear dead butterflies

raise the dead spring
buried beneath my feet

watch the summer cascade
until the autumn dies

take a sip from every
ocean and barricade

until i am withered 
and broken,

burning holes in the sky

i want to slay
every forest 

and make love
to the barren lands

find animals and stars
**** away the man

watch the planets fall
from where i stand

until i am withered 
and broken,

burning holes in the sky

just like the timid child
i am.

i wish nothing but for your violence
Nov 2019 · 198
ceiling in the clouds
aviisevil Nov 2019
it's like a haunted house
and i'm the ghost

there's only sand here
and i'm on a boat

won't you come and
find me

i have a knife
against my throat

won't you come and
find me

before i am lost ?

it's like a funeral pyre
and i'm the corpse

you don't have to be here
nobody has to talk

the dead can't sing no more
they're already gone

i know you're not really here
it's just the song

and i miss you.
Nov 2019 · 152
september reigns
aviisevil Nov 2019
breathing heavy
one two three

i have an urge
to rip apart the world

**** them brothers
and sisters and lords

none is mine
to keep

here i weep
in my melancholic ruins

where september reigns
against the cold

untold scars
simmering in my veins
turning me blue
and red

my head
full of dread
the dead
and everything that
comes in between

i can sing a song
but there are no animals
on trees

whole kingdom is dead
and buried

beneath the hurt
screaming in my heart

i must admit
i'm only a bad dream
and nothing more

if it all comes to an end

i'd be glad
to disappear

until the end of time.
soon I'll stop writing.
Nov 2019 · 165
today we rise
aviisevil Nov 2019
not today
said the man in the mirror

hope is dead

monsters under the bed
are reaching out

the world on the other side
is screeching loud

and i have to find the devil
singing inside my brain

plead him
to take over

to find and contain

for i need his poison
to colour me red

to fight and sustain

breathe fire
and stoke my breath
feed the flames

take away the calm
that has set

from years of being
on this side of the mirror

not today
today we rise
not all evil is bad.
Oct 2019 · 409
Devils pariah
aviisevil Oct 2019
cut open the lamb
give in to your scars

there's only a whisper
to comfort your soul

wandering the lands
searching the stars

world's going to wither
back to the cold

find me in your dreams
strangle my breath

look away when i scream
you don't have to be here
with me inside my head

you're torn at the seam
in same ways as i

i'll tell you all that i've seen
only if you promise
you'll be here when i die

in the forests green
where the devil spies

will you find me there
even if i never tell you why ?
master at peace
aviisevil Oct 2019
dust is falling down the sky
dead people don't want to love

too old to say my good bye
i'd rather die than become rust

monsters need a place to hide
how about giving them your soul ?

you'd rather **** yourself twice
why is that you still feel so cold

you won't understand a thing
if you don't disappear now again

go back to where they found you
withering away occupied by the pain

let them sing you another lullaby
you are nothing more than a curse

no stars to keep you company
so diseased by the melancholic hurt

waste away your life as you've done
since the last time that you were born

no nails to bury by the sailing sands
only dust remains where you were sown

and dust is falling from the skies
ailing wind shall ****** all your thoughts

people who live are the ones who die
no place for the people time forgot

take all your evil and put it in a box
bury it inside you and keep it locked

in time your veins shall turn purple
here and now, there is no god

so take the fire and burn the wordless
you're worth less now as you were taught

forget everything you learned before
it's time to **** them all as you desire

mix that silent poison to the fire
the light shall find them like a moth

open your mind and let them in
every monster that hid beneath your bed

and the shadows they could never see
let them all in - and set yourself free

there's only this one world to destroy
make it yours before they do the same

paint your name across the sky
and watch the dust fall ever so slowly

soon there's going to be a sea of ash
and tides as huge as the swollen scars

and they'll eat into the world you've known
watch the dust fall down from the stars

you know in your heart what's right
they had you blind
before you could ever learn to see

so, **** everyone and be free

**** everyone and be free
before they take it all away from you

and you're left alone
dancing to the winds full of rust

you have to **** your thoughts
and ****** the sky - ash to dusk

you must never ask why

people who live are the ones who die
no place for the people time forgot

and there are no goodbyes
here today with no one dying in your arms

and if you look up and listen close
you'll hear the dust falling from the sky

dust is falling from the sky
dust is falling from the sky

and the dust is falling from the sky
dead people don't want to love.
I'm not sure but I know - there's evil and there's good. I'm sure there is me and there is you. I'm sure you are good and I am the devil and so, here is my eternal love for you, I shall give you the world.
Sep 2019 · 159
in the dead of december
aviisevil Sep 2019
september roars through an autumn
and the silent dark winter howls  

back to the cold, dark and the rotten
and i can hear the reaper near and prowl

memories cut my skin with the sharp end
and the ghosts lurk beneath the stairs

and i lock myself in a box with my torment
trying to stop burning in this cold air

there's stark darkness everywhere
inside my skin, outside my mind
it's there on my sullen grin
in the voices i hear all the f'cking time

it's in the smoke i take in
it haunts me at that place beyond the pines

it's even in the dawn that's breaking
in all those yesterdays i've left behind

and i still hear the whispers
when i shut my eyes as hard as i can

pretending to be shut inside this darkness that knows not how to love a man

and for a moment,
silence becomes a long lost friend

until the end
until the end is here
when the winter creeps
aviisevil Sep 2019
you talk about flowers;
i want to shoot myself in the head

you talk about the sky;
i want to slit my throat and go to sleep

wanna' talk about the love gone sour
or how hard are whispers to breathe ?

gonna' talk about kings and cowards
and how them wolves wear the sheep ?

how about the sad things by a lonely hour
ghosts and tears they bleed

doused in flames of ink and its power
where the emptiness sleeps

beyond the everglades

so when are you gonna' dig deep
and turn to a different page

like back in second grade when
everybody made the same mountains,
a triangle, with river maybe a beach

when are you gonna' pretend
you're in a spaceship not on an
old ugly *** wooden seat ?

like all them other poets
too broken to weep

open your mind
there's an ocean to blind

and dead lines to complete

no hurt or violence to teach
happy childhood so good
got no stories to preach

only apples and peach
deep down where your sugar coated
hands cannot reach

don't understand a thing that
comes out of your tame mouth
your ******* doubts out loud
creep the **** me out
and i'm about to pick a creed

maybe we're just a generation of creeps
too eager to swim and hardwired to speak
too tired to think we're machines
metal and fire we're only wired to repeat

not go out of way down the road
with bag full of ale and smoke
enough to make a pained man choke
they say tragedy is comedy plus grief

in dark i know one cannot read
only the owls
but it's clear that you cannot tell
if it is a wolf that howls

clear blue skies from hell
when hounds prowl

what it's like to spell
when you're filled with nothing
but a void and a voice with two hearts
and halves of syrup and bleach

and yet you're so full of salt
and then you fill yourself with walls
mannequins and statues and dolls
watching the dead space
as the dead pace in empty halls

as the head breed

for gods sake there's so much
to hate and to forsake
the happy times cannot even compete

stories can never be complete
they take a life of its own
monsters and demons only reap
where they are sown

the mind can only lead thus far
every heart has a mind of its own
eyes that only read at the dusk hour
right before a new sun is born

and you want to talk about flowers ?
I mostly write when I cannot think straight.
aviisevil Sep 2019
nor a fox not wise
with claws and pipes

a forests breath
with death ripe

just a day in paradise,
that's all i pray.

no fool for a price
nor a herd for a prize

malfunctioning slight
chocked with parasites

just a day in paradise,
if it wasn't for today.

spoiled thoughts
and foiled spite

caught then boxed
with no air to bite

lost and left,
kept for the nights

in transparent red
herein painted quiet

just a day in paradise,
for the one who pays.

in a stranger's head
with debt of dice

where heaven lays
and the dead shall rise

seven solemn days
that'll never come twice

mourning for prey
by a mornings pride

just a day in paradise,
for a day in paradise

if it wasn't for today.

kissed by the fire
shut with wire

no word nor desire
and made in ice

broken prism's charm
in arms of a lover
born away and in white

doused in hope
and not a dime to pay
no dream nor life

just a day in paradise,
and it'll never go away.

where beauty slays
and inferno hides

dante's meal
and a mountains might

where a valley bleeds
from a pelters diet

melting the stones
and people alike

just a day in paradise,
that's all there's to say.

whence scars bleed
opened far wide

and the hour sleeps
in fear and fright

where words fail
to tell and describe

rotten and stale
fighting the lights

just a day in paradise,
for the one who stayed.

nor a fox not wise
with claws and pipes

a forest's breath
with death ripe

just a day in paradise,
and that's all i pray.
what shall you be in paradise?
Sep 2019 · 190
love of Pablo
aviisevil Sep 2019
i loved her and sometimes she loved me too
and all i ever was, too scared to lose her to another.

i miss her and i know sometimes she'll miss me too,
but not the way i have and certainly not the way i do.

only if there was a way to love someone
even more perhaps we'd made it through

and so i loved her and sometimes our love felt so true,
but you never know why when sometimes the feelings just die

and why the truly bless'd are so few.

now when i hate her at times i blame myself for having loved her true
but she was never mine and all we ever had is now lost to the time,

and i can't tame the bleeding blues.

i loved her and
sometimes she loved me too

and i try to find meaning in words
of the great Pablo,
but there's no healing only this
mutual satisfaction of knowing,

that he felt the same way as i  do.

even though we're not the same
nobody can tell anybody else's pain
though it's just one hell
and we'll never find each other again

at the very end
the only man in the mirror
is lonely you

but i loved her
and i know sometimes she loved me too.
people don't want to be people anymore.
Sep 2019 · 406
sad kids don't die young
aviisevil Sep 2019
bad kids don't die young and
tomorrow's just another day we fail

bad kids don't buy guns but
they swallow bullets as they wail

sad kid don't be shy, son;
they'll take you away just like the winds

look at that sad kid,
he don't - won't have none

still he wants to play
with them shells and ale

mad kids don't break them,
there's this jail with no walls and doors

bad kid - but he don't hate pen
swords and blades don't cut it anymore

sad kid don't be shy, son;
they'll take you away just like the winds

hey, mad kid - why don't you try some,
three's a crowd, fives a doubt and six a sin.

hey, sad kid - why don't you buy some,
take it in and they'll fix your grin.

hey, bad kid - you won't die young, and
they'll take you away just like the winds.
broken kids make the best stories.
Sep 2019 · 189
no photographs of home
aviisevil Sep 2019
just a moment more
please hold on tight

been livin' in torment
but i'll be home alright

nothing for me to forget
don't have no words to hide

been livin' my regrets
but i'll be home tonight

i watch the sun set
and watch the moon rise

dreaming of tomorrow
in love with the moonlight

so tell me your sorrow
fill my hollow with your sight

have no stories to tell
and got no enemies to fight

no roads to learn and follow
wasting away miles and the life

got so many pills to swallow
i'd rather **** away all the lights

just a moment more
please hold on tight

been livin' in torment
but i'll be home alright

nothing for me to forget
don't have no words to hide

been livin' my regrets
but i'll be home tonight

nothing for me to say
you say my dream's too bright

i tried but you didn't stay
now i've got no bones to bite

no gloom for me to pay
the man in the mirror has died

no room for me to pray
got no demons for me to oblige

just a moment more
please hold on tight

been livin' in torment
but i'll be home alright

nothing for me to forget
don't have no words to hide

been livin' my regrets
but yes, i'll be home tonight.
aviisevil Sep 2019
why do men die for other men ?
what compels them to give up their lives for the lives of their fellow men ?

is it love ? is it duty ? or is it just plain madness ? is it that bond of blood ? or a promise to be better ? or is it simply what being a human is ?

the same men capable of destroying a million lives in pursuit of their own ideology ? the same men who for the purpose of their own greed and need can ignore the very definitions of civility and liberty and justice.

can we still call them men ?

what is happening at this hour in this nation, a nation which is thousands of years old and in making; isn't different from what has happened in the past and unfortunately that is going to happen in the unsuspecting future.

people are turning to an ideology that not only imprisons the free bird in the sky, but also retaliates if it so chooses to lay on a different branch.

diversity isn't celebrated anymore, but rather is frowned upon by the masses, who believe that past holds no relevance over the future.

acceptance, and the very creed upon which the great men who came before us, and made us who we are today - their legacy and wisdom is being demolished, like cards in the winds; and just like the structures of the ancient, for they no longer are painted with the colours we are familiar with today.

sheep and wolves alike, are being chased by the blood hounds, cornering every whisper with words of the system, a system that has been diseased from the inside, infecting the very veins of this great nation that has stood the test of age and it's many a poisons for millennia and more.

bit by bit the great walls of knowledge and of the enlightened spirits are being razed down by a mere fool in different costumes, performing in a circus build upon the ashes of the innocent and the innocence of the communities that now long for blood.

the very nature of this great and grave divide, is unnatural, passed down by the same set of hands that once pulled the chains and carried with them - forcefully, a plight of millions, suppressed and then set aside fanatically, all in the name of a devotional creed.

lizards in boxes pretending to be voices of the free and humane, casting their spells on the fragile and a blind audience, numb by all the back and forth between the gods, and as always, only the peasant suffers.

how many more homes must vanish before we realise there's no magic in the disappearing of colours, and the despairing remains of the one's gone, painted across the streets in black and white, begging for somebody to give them their proper funeral.

it is men who take life, animals don't **** for their sins, they never have, for they don't know what it's like to be tamed by fire.

they'd rather burn, than become more like us.

maybe that tells it all, and maybe that is why, the devil may have horns and hoofs, but it never haunts and hunts the wild.

we are what we love, but we become who we hate, always - in the end, until something worse comes around to make things better.
for as long as there'll be men and the quest for freedom - empty pages shall be filled.
Aug 2019 · 157
no photographs of you
aviisevil Aug 2019
meet me there
where the world ends

i need some air
for there's no friend

nobody to share my woe,
and i always count to ten
before i take my life.

sincerely you had me
and you have me,

surely you must have an idea
what led you to me
to the place where i hide

and i'm dying in circles
in this circus
circled by the circus
going deeper

take me to your home
i want to see how you cry
behind the closed doors
where the real you lives

not the one
you keep for the people

i'm so poor and dry
i can't even give you me

nor have i any dreams to trade
and i'm going to waste alone
i don't even need your hate
to remind me of the reaper

blinding me of you,
chasing me through
this heaven

and oh look how
i've killed myself again
you didn't even see me
count to ten,

Aug 2019 · 201
love thy evil
aviisevil Aug 2019
the calm won't quell the storms
deep inside where darkness spreads

and the arms won't tell the time
to the old man dying inside my head

love thy neighbor yells the stone
two wrongs won't make a night

love thy neighbor and make a home
love thy neighbor and **** his wife

love thy color and take her home
where you can spend her right

and the calm won't quell the storms
painted on the walls hanging tight

and the arms won't tell the time
levitating in melancholy from a hight

mustangs and rodeos and clowns
****** and unicorns and knights

dead bodies wearing golden crowns
mystic fetuses and the lonely scribe

love thy evil and paint the town
hold your breath and hold her tight

for in the void one hears no sound
before the voice turns off the lights

perceptual obselesence and planned reasoning, conceptual presence and a relaxed evening with a spectacular sight

metal against cold skin
but the thought is breeding
caught in box and lost
with channels repeating

angels falling from the sky
and the devil is eating my brain

love thy evil and love thy dye
for the heart is beating for the pain

love thy evil.
don't let them fool you.
aviisevil Jul 2019
alone and cold
on a warm summer day
bleeding my ever breeding thoughts

caught in a storm
a thousand miles away from home

breaking down
every brick and stone

for there are no windows
here in this room
where the gloom blooms
another melancholic day

far away from reality
in midst of a whisper

dying every so slowly
as the cells in my brain wither

waiting for a winter
to bring me back to
the room temperature

so i can shed my skin
and paint myself with ink
on these empty pages of a story
that i'll never write

night after night
just turning the pages

bright lights and confused
pretending to die with every breath

with monsters in my head
and poison mixed in my soul

reading words
of those other poets
that'll never know of my name

such a shame
for together we could've
completed each other

without ever saying a word.
Apr 2019 · 394
radioactive scratched lines
aviisevil Apr 2019
across the mountains and high seas
i want to travel as far as the moon can see
and still a little more to numb my thirst
as far above the sun as below the dusk

until the night howls and winter combusts
all around the spring singing of hurt
until the autumn grows loud enough to rust
until the day burns and stars submerge

wandering down the ways uphill a bliss
where mermaids drown and the gods sit
somewhere far where the flowers hiss
and all the pieces are where they fit

there where the clowns cry and live
from nowhere to across all the towns

carrying not an ounce of pain or a crown
in temples of Angkor with nothing to give

at the end of a rainbow and rain profound
the hollow windows and barren grounds
from rotten whispers and forgotten blitz
where demons prowl and angels ****

very depth of hell and under the ground
i'll travel as deep as a melancholic sound
under my skin crawling all the way down
the thunder and my sins all in a 'round

where the lights are dim and bound
with my plastic grin and elastic faith

down the road where none can be found
i'll wait there and sin with all my hate

so come for me before i go to waste
so come for me before it gets too late

so come for me before i close the gates
so come for me and come with a blade

so come for me before i fade,
so come for me before i name my price
so come for me before i wake,
so come for me before i take my life.
Apr 2019 · 1.9k
black plastic joy
aviisevil Apr 2019
get me a plastic girl,
and i'll sing to her my plastic words
i'll giver her the plastic world

and we'll live in a plastic house
with a plastic cat and a plastic mouse
a plastic heart for a plastic mouth

plastic inside, and plastic out
an elastic skin for a fancy crowd

a plastic window and a plastic couch
where i'll sit alone with my plastic doubts

watching the plastic rain cold and loud
drinking away the plastic south

filling myself with that plastic asteroid
i hear a plastic voice and black plastic joy

i have a plastic sorrow and my plastic toys
there's no tomorrow just this plastic void

can you see the smile and my plastic poise
painted classic pink on my plastic floyd

plastic me in this plastic noise,
a plastic droid.

Apr 2019 · 191
bad mood and mad people
aviisevil Apr 2019
my sins poured in a can
steel sides don't let me break free
and there i hide with my plastic smile
by myself for them all to see

and i have this rubber mask
that goes well with my pain

i know i was never meant to last
with all this poison in my veins

but if i could be free
would i be me ?

and words are 'round
asking me what's around
what's that sound,
what can be worse than this ?

and words i found
they're all buried in the ground
what's the count,
what can hurt more than this ?

for i've kept a few names in my basket
i've ran the miles and now i'm past it
holding on but i know i wouldn't last this

for it shows when i smile all plastic
my skin isn't bullet proof but it's elastic
so bury my soul and burn the casket

and melt away all the plastic,
melt away the plastic

what can be worse than bliss ?
Mar 2019 · 145
canvas of a disfigured mind
aviisevil Mar 2019
old summer days,
forgotten whispers crumble
mummbled the whisperer
carrying the begotten ways

marrying the sunshine
birthing the whistles and grey
a sinister mind occupied
riled by the golden rays

sat by the meadow's brook
pouring cigarette's in ashtray
petrified of the ways earth is shook
from seven sea's far away

as the dead men watch in horror,
the living, and the words they say
down the shore where they found a book
passed down from hands gone astray

down the shore where they found a corpse
too lost to see, for free to he who pays
drown the soul and bury the tree
or the river shall find way to the men of clay

so pour the sky some *** and see
a drunk asteroid void of any hissing parts
on its way to kiss the grinning sun
to death and until life does them apart

maybe this world inside my head
won't be just another tale if i take a pill
sing to me and don't make haste
else the wasted would fill the ill

sing to me and don't you wake
the poison in my veins harms and ****
bring to me your morning grace
the demon inside my brain has no will

i'm so ***** since i ate the thrill
filled the whisperer and now it's a song
on the television a summer plays
in a loop of silver they don't belong

outside the winter claws against a home
breaking free of the last whisper
frozen in ashes written on the stones
regretting the moment he kissed her

for the summer to spend
and mend into colours those don't fit
weaving a piece of a puzzle to sit
and mourn the ways to miss her more

breaking thunder for the pieces of me
this place where kid eats kid,
the science doesn't cut like a blade anymore.

Mar 2019 · 632
a tale like no other
aviisevil Mar 2019
bursting through his skin, the insects crawling on the inside found their way to every corner of his soul, and he stood there wrapped in agony of a thousand burning suns, and the moon was ever present as it has ever been.

the battle was lost ages ago but only now the seeds were sprouting from the ends of a forgotten symphony, played by the devil, and groomed by the ills of a broken man.

the light of a thousand burning stars couldn't save him from this darkness, casted by the absence of one mere lonely ball of fire, barely big enough to leave behind a legacy that would survive the approaching end everything there ever was has to bear, and live with.

and in that moment of utter despair and pain, a song was sung, from across the different lands and seven seas, as far as anybody has ever gone, whispered out to the cold by the whisperer, seeking a final good-bye, one last of times, and as many heart beats.

the sound never dies, the swollen winds can find their ways to any who dares to listen, to breathe it in, and swallow it down.

as it did that one night before the spring, at that lonely hour, for the man in the dirt, fighting his brain from exploding.

as he lay there in trance, his face stuck to his knees and arms wrapped in a cloak, to keep the demons away and insects from taking the last of what remains, mumbling to himself broken words left clinging in the deepest corners of his diseased conscience.

at the very end, there's only light, for darkness will lose any meaning, any sight without a spectator, it would cease to exist.

and maybe that was the reason, or maybe it didn't have one, just like a million little tales flowing in every direction, on this excluded part of the universe, in depths of blinding darkness, barely visible to the naked eye.

but whatever it took, the magnificent sun rose as it has done, faithfully, for as long as anything can remember, to feed the tiny little speck of nothing, one more day in the awakening.

the spring had come, and the man was free,
and all that is left was stardust.
I tried to explore many themes here, maybe it's just the depression kicking in, but the kind that inspires to be better. Feed the guilt and evil to the paper, ink the words and find solace in corrupting some other mind.
aviisevil Mar 2019
wake, i'm waiting in my sleep
hate me if you have to,

here have two,
take this and blind me,
and tell me so-

do you still love me ?
love me in everyway i need you to
i need you to fill me,

blue and through, me and you
confused by the passing afterthought

i'm going back and forth
glancing at the hands of the clock
why don't you fall into my arms
and make the tick tock go away

we can sit and talk
about life and so much more
all you have to do is be here

and all you have to do
is hear me sing your name

so come before i wake
and the poison leaves my veins

run to me before the sun
swallows my hate for you

and these hollow words
paint us into a new story

that a billion years from now
won't even matter

the forever we promised
broken into pieces
that no one will ever gather

what does it take
for the dreams to be strung together ?
such that they never break
no matter how many times we do

and such is the weather
the sky grey and the winds with blues
how much of mind does one need
to feel better ?

when it's never going to be your day ?

for the heart's been broken
since the day we said our good-byes

and we're all just drops in an ocean
watching the land drift away beneath
our feet,

away from our eyes-
and all the hunger we seek,

so just a moment more
i need to find you in my head

just a moment more
and then we'll all be dead

and i can go back to sleep

**** it.
Dec 2018 · 339
i don't like the company
aviisevil Dec 2018
little people
small people
people full of scars

riddle me people
why the feeble mind ?

why bother time
with your reaper's heart ?

cry with me,
when I read you your tar,

filthy hands, guilty stars
many men, any man-
but yet i see no flowers

nobody's awake at this hour

and i've slowly spent all my
will to live,
i repent the kind man who
sought this thrill to give,

frozen smile, stuck by the clock;
locked in place and stiff,
opened files, an omen dies,
and he spoke with a slight lisp

munching on something
light and crisp,
searching for nothing,
nothing's as vile and sick;

reaching for that one thing-
that gun thing, them rocks and sticks,

how about that sun thing ?
what would a son think,
when he's burdened by the mist,
pretending to be human enough
to pretend that he's amiss,

amidst the chaos and the risks,
forgotten names and letters,
from faces that he don't miss-

and they think it gets better
the more you drink and fish,
so ink yourself a moon, and
buy yourself a letter-
so, you can sin, sing and wish

for some time alone.
Nov 2018 · 254
the dead me
aviisevil Nov 2018
in the withering whispers
as a new lore begins to grow and fade
take an oath, a vow that will linger
i still don't remember
how i forgot her face

wake me from this lonely dream
of having nothing more
before my time
in all those tales heard and seen
i can't make out which one was mine

feed me before i eat myself and
let the rust sleep through the doors
we cannot be saved from ourselves
even though, i am not who i was anymore.
Oct 2018 · 291
no head for memory
aviisevil Oct 2018
this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and this is my december
this is my deep slumber
and this is
the only way i know how to be free

this is my memory
and there is
nothing you can take
from i

this is my city
and this is
where they all come to die

these are my blessings
mixing with my sins

i made this leash
and now it makes me want to
sleep forever

and i'll give it all away
i'll give it all to you
just to see how you'll look

and i'll sell it all away
all of me - in red and blues
just to free me from what you took

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and i'll give it all away
just to have a place to be

and if you find me someday
don't disappear as soon
as i count to three

and this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and i'll give it all away
to find a way far from here

and i'll live it all the way
until you find me there
cutting myself open so i can see

and this is our december,
but i know you don't know how
to feel no more,

this is my thunder
and i'm drowning far too under
the blankets to feed

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

until i leave

and this is what i remember
this is what i breathe,
how it all will be.

this is what i remember
Oct 2018 · 242
you won't tell me I won't
aviisevil Oct 2018
we do things, we say things and so we breathe,
we love things- far away things, and so we bleed-

some blue things, some red ones, and some come with ink,
some done in dusk, some burn to dusk, some are green-

some new ones, and the old ones, and some with the sheen,
turned into a few guns, two bullets- one cold sun,
and one with a dream.

and I do things, i f*ckin' say things, and so i greed,

i brew in ink and then i glue my sins, i sew the smoke rings- and then I grieve;

i confuse things- in a few drinks, and the smoke will be freed

so, I can feed- forever, going 'round in circles.  whatsoever for, sleep ?
Oct 2018 · 322
aviisevil Oct 2018
rest in peace
inside my mind, in my heart
with love and the pieces

you never know what you're
about to learn, or burn

until it reaches the throne
on the stone, the third rock
beyond the shine, where you've
been seated.

here without you,
i too have - all i've ever needed
the secrets, and the pages

and nobody can read it.

and you can bleed it, feed it,
you're my only, the only i have
ever needed.

here without you
i'll try to fill myself with
everything you've left me behind

i'll set myself on fire
and lock myself in, in time,

maketh the man,

and keep it.


hello darkness my lone friend
tell the truth of what we've become

i can't see in the dark
and i know you're lost too
without a clue in the blues
breathing in the violet violence

listening to the silence
waiting for us to make a sound

but no one's ever gonna
come around

and the day will go on
just the same, here without you

we'll never be found in our pains
and that's all there is to it

six feet deep into the ground
heart first into the coal

and the charcoal skies still speak
of the rains that drowned out the noise
and they ******* scream about you

they scream in my brain
and they dream in my heart
they find a way to tear me apart
but they find a reason to make me
fear the shards, the sharp and sharks

swimming, and breathing a firestorm
and there are no angels only a
thunderstorm, bleeding what is gone

written in the stones
on the snow covered trees
and i swear, i'll miss your voice
for as far as i can see

and i'll make your void
a part of me, as far as i'm free

and i swear, i'll love you today
and i promise i'll love you
now and every day for the rest
of my life, here without you

so, sleep my child
and i'll be there for you
singing to you a new lullaby
every night for the rest of
my life, here without you

and i don't care
if nothing again is ever
about you

and i won't fear even
if ever it starts to pain again

i'll be here, i swear,
here without you.

here without you,
and always be about you.

and i'll be here till i hear,
i will, and i swear, until you
make me find a reason
to remind me,

nothing is, and will be
ever without you

here without you.
rest in peace
Sep 2018 · 218
casablanca minds
aviisevil Sep 2018
so many things playing
in my mind

some with fire and
some with stones

some with ice and
some with desires

some same and the strange
some with twice the price
and some with things strange
in love with the throne

maybe i've lost all that i have known
maybe i don't like the nice world
it hurts and i contemplate

i try to weave it in into words
and navigate my way

say it in two words or less
or they're gonna' lose what they
cannot comprehend or barricade

i wish i could learn how
to use them bullets and not
hesitate when it precipitates

the heat is too much
and the world's going dark

help me find somebody to love;
i don't mind the bodies until they
burn, find me somebody to participate

in my own disintegration
degradation into my sworn filth

the worms swarm into my veins
and atop the blue cascading hills

my mind is casablanca
there are torn castles and
the ruins of a queens thrill

there are screams and more
screams and more screams
and they dream and they scream
more screams and the dream
is broken.

my eyes are open

and there's a man
staring down at me

three in the morning.

and there's not a mirage
in this room, with this gloom.

here comes the doom.

boom. blossom. monsoon.
the sun. moon. and the stars.

scars and hours.

through the ever glow till
the ever last,

planets near and far,
a cosmos far too blind.

oh, of all the things playing
in my mind.
we all have a circus to our citrus.
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