stop comparing me to the sun,
i like the stars better,
stop texting me at 3 am,
i'm actually trying to get sleep now.
stop quoting that ****** song
i've already thrown away that CD.
stop trying to break your way
in through the cracks in my skin
and stop trying to push me back
into the ocean, it's the winter, and
you know i don't want to swim.
please stop talking to my friends
because they want to hear from you
even less.
you came into our lives and broke a
few hearts and smashed a few bowls.
i don't need to back to stop my breathing,
because everytime you start to talk
i start to shake, and
shaking leads to screaming at 4 am
when you've stopped texting already.
anyways, you can't see the sun at
3 am, only the stars,
so why are you trying to get
a sun tan then?

the world is in revolution,
kids are dying on the streets
and there is screaming at all hours of the day.
your oppressive ways have got to go
because the world has finally took off
the 'cool and collected' mask that stated
everything bad happened "in the olden days".
each new thing is like another
****** plate broken after a breakup.
everything's adding fuel to the
fire and soon the whole world
be up in flames, and it's a real
revolution.

when i was younger they told me
all those things were cured.
they told me that war didn't really happen anymore,
and that people just didn't die for nothing,
and they told me that racism was a
thing of the past, it didn't leak into
everyday life anymore.

so I believed that they were all gone,
but it's time to open your ******* eyes
and realize that there's a reason
the world is burning up.

recently i watched this movie
((you all know what is,
its named after a singing bird))
and this girl said
"what if real life was like this"
but as I sat there I realized
that there was almost nothing different.
((except that was fiction,
and this is real life))

please wake up and smell
the burning before it's too late,
and you're caught up in the flames.

this world is in revolution,
and no one's going down without a fight.

Yes #AllLivesMatter but I'm told my life
matters everyday in the essence of white privelge.
We don't need to be told that our lives matter,
because we're already told that.
you can't even grasp that can you??
so when your life is being torn apart and people
that look like us are being killed in the streets,
then you can get bad that the movement to stop oppression
doesn't include you,
but right now it doesn't, and I doubt it ever will
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT ******* OPPRESSED

your thoughts don't even fill the universe when you
think about it. they float about looking for someone
to cure their loneliness while they try to be heard.
but what if no one hears them?
what if they float out there forever reaching
empty heads and empty hearts and exploding
into stars.
what if those unspoken words are those
stars you look at every night, and what if
they're slowly killing you like you're slowly
killing me. Your unspoken thoughts are stars
that explode and travel in the universe,
but your spoken words fly through the earth
threatening everyone. They fill the sky
and turn it blue, making everyone gasp
in awe. It's important to have
your thoughts heard but sometimes it's
nice to see the stars from so far away,
and it's so hard to choose.

you wear a band aid over a paper cut,
and then laugh when you hear that this
country was built on blood.
and now the blood is overflowing onto
the streets,
but the people have had enough.
while they're out there trying
to stop their kids from drowning
in blood,
you're in here laughing, and
spewing some philosophical ****
about how violence isn't the answer.
but please come talk to me
when our children are dying in
the streets (but they won't.
me and you both know that so
just accept that this is wrong
and that the world is like an immune system.
it gets rid of the things that
make it sick.)
you and your oppressive arguments
make me sick so go look
outside,
go look at the people drowning in
blood and tell me
why you need that band aid for your
paper cut.

You used to talk about how
much you needed coffee to
keep you awake in English class.
so you could pay attention
(but you were always texting
me in English class so it didn't do
you that much good.
i think you just liked the
way the teacher glared
at you when you drank it in class.)

one time they told me you ran away,
but you left your computer at home,
so i knew you'd come back.
((you were stuck in the forest for 36 hours
and for 36 hours i could barely breathe.)

you acted like you were saving me,
but i don't even need saving
i just need you to *******.

one time you drank *****,
just so you could taste it,
and you hated it.
but now you're back and
you're pretending,
you're pretending that you
actually buy your coffee
(instead of grab it at starbucks
when the barista isn't looking).
you're pretending that you've
never been in the woods and
when someone offers you *****
you gulp it right away.

it doesn't matter that you're
pretending because you're still
trying to be above everyone
and im so ******* done with you.

I. you don't even know who you are yet, but you still have to stand on top of buildings and scream what you stand for. people won't hear your values unless you write it on their skin and tattoo it into their minds, so that’s what you’ll do.

II. you aren't vain or stupid for idolizing singers with blonde hair and blue eyes, because they look like you, and yet they’re strong and beautiful. it’s okay when you connect to their music then you connect to your favorite boy band. they’ll teach you how your resident ******* means nothing compared to you. they’ll teach you how to winged eyeliner, and how to put your hair in a messy bun. they’ll teach you a new love for songwriting and you’ll probably want to start playing guitar, but the biggest thing is that you relate to them and they give you confidence.

III. wear your ******* choker and straighten your hair (or leave it wavy if you’d rather). wear your dark eyeliner and cover your eyelashes with mascara. if you want to wear blue knee high socks, please do. keep your hipster shoes untied if you want. ignore the ******* who thinks you look nice but not in the right way, and go buy that dark lipstick you've been wanting for weeks.

IV. don’t trust the people that tell you Taylor Swift has too many boyfriends, and that Beyonce dances too ******. they are the people that will criticize you for wearing a crop top and ripped jeans. they’ll pull you out of math class to change out of your short shorts, and you’ll be forced to watch as the boys you were ‘distracting’ succeed in class while you’re crying in the middle of the night trying to catch up.

V. take more pictures of the scenery. those pink clouds you thought were pretty deserve to be photographed, so do it. they won’t always be around and you have to follow your instincts sometimes.  stop taking so many pictures at concerts. they don’t really mean anything to you, and it’s more important to listen to the music that helps you breathe. cry when they sing your favorite song, and feel your dreams expanding as you watch.

VI. please take care of yourself. when you need help, ask for help, or everything will spiral out of control too quickly. get enough sleep and stick up for yourself when you’re being pushed down. stop caring what other people think, because you’re really the only one that matters. when you’re sad go do what makes you happy, because even if it doesn't make you grin from ear to ear it will help. always remember to love yourself before you let someone else love you.

the universe is spilling its secrets,
but you're not here to see it.
i guess you rubbed off on everyone
because i keep seeing you
everywhere.
there's a new song by your
favorite band, and you aren't
here to listen to it.
but i don't understand how it's not
about you, every single lyric
bleeds you just like every
single cloud in the sky
bleeds you.
so maybe the universe
is spilling all it's secrets
but i don't want to know
any of them unless it tells
me where you are.

stop.
put that ******* alcohol down
i just want to look into your eyes
without seeing the ghost of your
past trying to drown itself,
because this isn't an ocean, and
i'm not an angel.

i don't understand why the
sky is still lit up,
it's 12 o'clock and the sun
should be asleep but you're crying
and i'm shaking and we're a mess
on the floor.

you're not really broken you're
just pretending.  you
don't even know how to breathe
without an official diagnosis,
but you're not broken and you
have to stop hiding.

you know i love you,
but you're hiding and you
know how much i hate it
when we play hide and seek.

now it's 1am, and the sun's about
to come out (who knows why).
the dog next door is barking,
he must have heard your echoing
sobs and felt the emotion radiating
from our house.

but i can't stay awake for another
second so you have to let go,
and you have to help yourself
because i can't even handle
putting the coffee on in the morning.

maybe in the morning you'll be
stronger, and maybe you won't
but either way we can still do this,
i still want
to hold
you.

it's 3am,
and you're sitting over there,
with bruises covering
your body and you came to
me for help, and there's
nothing i can do for you
but hold you, and
you don't want me to
because my hands are
shaking and i can't seem
to reach them up to your
face,  i can only
feel the blood pounding in my ears,
and see the way your eyes
light up when you're
looking into them,
screaming and crying
for me to help you
but i don't know
how to and no one's
around and your hands are
letting go and your
breathing is getting
shallower as your tears
are getting deeper.

there's
a room full of lights,
but you're blinded
by the way your
eyes change from green
to blue, and the way your
body seems to bend
when you try to look
around you,
but your eyes aren't working
and neither is your soul,
if you keep on falling behind and
laughing at the lights on the wall.

you wore me down faster
than you wore down those
old combat boots you
found in your closet
(a relic of your dad's past
maybe, or maybe you
just hid them there
to create a mystery
behind them,
a mystery behind you.)

my skin was paper,
and you finally figured out
how to tear it.

my blood was ink,
and you finally found how
to use it to write.

and i didn't even fight against you,
because i am an empty book,
and i wanted to be filled with
something, i wanted to feel something
real, even if it was as toxic
as your breath.

don't sell your soul to him because
he'll turn around and let go of it the
first chance he gets, and it'll
be 3 am and your skin is ripping off
your heart and your bones are
crunching but you can't change
anything.

it's too ******* late,
because he's stolen your
innocence when he stole your
soul and you'll never be the same
again, no matter how hard you try.

i hope one day you realize
that he doesn't define you,
that when he grabbed at your pants
he didn't take away your
worth.

and no matter what happened,
no matter how many times you invited him
back to watch a movie, or go for a walk,
it was never your fault,
IT WAS ALWAYS HIS FAULT AND
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO
CARRY THE WEIGHT ON YOUR
SHOULDER LIKE YOU'RE ATLAS
HOLDING UP EVERY SINGLE BIT
OF THE WORLD, BUT YOU DO
AND I'M SO SORRY THAT YOU HAVE TO.

IF I COULD I WOULD CARRY ALL OF
YOUR WEIGHT AND MORE, JUST
SO YOU COULD BE FREE, BUT
THE WORLD ISN'T LETTING ME
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

JUST REMEMBER THAT HE IS NOTHING
COMPARED TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU
ARE THE SUN AND HE ISN'T EVEN A SPECK
OF DUST FLOATING IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE OCEAN.

you can hold me tonight,
but in the morning remember
that i don't belong to you,
and i can walk away
when i need to breathe.

your words tore my skin apart
which was stupid because my
skin was supposed to be like
iron, and no blade could
break it, but i guess you
twisted your way through
and tore my skin apart with
your ******* stupid words
that will mean nothing tomorrow,
even though they
mean everything today.

and you are every star in the sky to me.
it hurts that the whole world knows who you are,
because even though you're my whole world
i know i'll never be that important to
you again. i remember how i held
you and you held me and you whispered
sweet things that stopped me from
going to the darkest places of my mind.
you're my whole world- every single
star, every single ray of sunshine, and
every single blade of grass all adds up
to you, and it hurts because
every single person that knows your
name is part of the world,
and you're getting bigger and
i can't hold onto the way
you were my everything

your voice makes me want to touch the stars
and burn the ground down.
i know people can't do that but somehow i will,
and it will be your fault.
it's your fault that the world burns
and that beautiful castles crumble
because this is not a fairytale darling
and we're not even in wonderland,
but oh how I wish we were.

my bones start to crack
when you start to sing
your wicked lullaby and
i don't understand how
you can have a voice so enchanting
that even my mother falls
in love with it
(her ears haven't heard a sound
for three years because
the sound of her own
voice drives her mad).

and sometimes you wear a
crown of gold and sometimes
you wear a crown of
heartbreak.
it's funny how no one can tell
the difference,
not even me.

when i'm 85 years old,
i'll still remember what
it felt like to hold you
in my arms
(and about how neither
of us would've let go).

woah okay.
i just realized how much
i cared about you.
when the thought of
not seeing you had
me sobbing on the floor
and the sound of your voice
made me giddy with happiness,
i realized that you are the
most important thing in
the world to me and i
actually don't understand
how I can care so much.

it feels like you held me
when my body was
falling apart and my arms
held scars and my face
held tears.

AND I DON'T *******
UNDERSTAND WHY I CARE
ABOUT YOU SO MUCH
SINCE YOU DON'T EVEN
KNOW I EXIST.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOW YOU CAN BE
MY WHOLE WORD AND
I'M NOT EVEN
A STAR IN THE SKY TO YOU.
I AM NOTHING AND YOU
ARE EVERYTHING.
THAT'S HOW IT'LL ALWAYS
BE SO I DON'T KNOW
WHY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
(LIKE MORE THEN I
LOVE THE SUN EVEN
THOUGH IT GIVES LIFE
TO THE WHOLE PLANET).

I accidentally love you more
than myself and I don't think
I'll ever stop.

you're just a little girl,
lost among broken glass and
porcelain tears.
and today i found you
lying in broken glass.
your skin shone red
and you started to cry
when i picked you up.
you were only a little girl,
how did it get to this?
i don't understand how they
can beat you and bruise you
and leave you there to
hurt.
you're just a sweet little girl,
who loves folk music and
who used to smile every time
she talked to people.

you used to love glass.
the way it shined and the
way it reflected the real you.
but now the glass lies broken
at your feet and

you are the one that
broke it.
or are you the one
that's broken?

I FEEL SO EMPTY.
i'm just sitting here trying
to bring the feeling back to my
limbs and i don't understand what's happening
why did the lights just turn off.
i don't understand why is it
hard for me to draw breath.
and where did the stars go?
they might've exploded into
millions of pieces of color and light
but i'm still sitting here, empty
and alone in the dark wishing
i could find a way out and
i still don't understand
what's going on.

i can't stop writing poetry about you.
it's all about you and the way
you make me happy or the way
it makes me sad that you're not mine.
I CAN'T STOP WRITING *******
POETRY ABOUT YOU SO STOP
BEING SO EASY TO WRITE ABOUT.

it's the middle of the night,
and i feel so empty that
not even the thought of you
will make me feel better.
not even the thought of you
will put my burned bones
together and reattach them
with elmer's glue.
because that's what always
happened in the past,
but you're not here next
to me, and i've forgotten
what it felt like when
you hugged me the
first time.
i'm sitting here in
the same spot on the couch
feeling empty
and thinking about you.
i wish you would come
here because i don't like
having broken bones and
tears that don't go anywhere.

you told me you were dead inside,
but when i lie next to you i can
still feel your pulse beating.

WOAH.
the thought of you overwhelms
me and sometimes it's hard to
breathe.
i like the way your muscles
move when you sing
(because by the way
you stand i can tell you
care so much about
what you're doing).
and sometimes i can't
sleep at night because i
remember how you smiled at
me
like i was the most important person
in the world
(even though i'm not anything,
it's nice to pretend when i'm with
you.)

and whenever you talk to me-
even when it's just to send me a silly face,
i get so happy that it's hard to move.

HOW CAN YOU HONESTLY BE
SO PERFECT AND MAKE ME SO HAPPY
EVERY SINGLE DAY WITHOUT
REALIZING THAT YOU ARE
EVERYTHING TO ME.

i remember the first time i laid eyes
on you. i never thought you'd
mean this much to me, but
here i am five months later,
so deeply in love with you
that it hurts to remember a
time before i knew you.

i doubt i'll ever be able to
talk about how much you mean to
me (about how you make
me cry because i love you so much)
BUT I GUESS EVERY TIME I TALK
TO YOU I TRY TO SAY SOMETHING
MORE
like 'i love you so much' or
'thank you so much'

because honestly 'so much'
describes how i feel about you,
whether it's how thankful i am,
how proud i am,
how much i love you,
how much you make me happy,
how much i think about you
or how much i talk about you
because honestly you are
so much to me.

in five years i'll still feel the same way
as i did after five months,
and when i'm old i'll always remember you.
BECAUSE THE THOUGHT OF YOU
OVERWHELMS ME AND I CAN NEVER
THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR
EXISTING.

YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU
******* HATED ME
BUT REMEMBER THAT I
STAYED UP UNTIL
3AM TALKING TO YOU
ABOUT HOW MUCH I *******
LOVED YOU?
I ****** LOVED YOU,
AND I STILL ******* LOVE
YOU. MY HEART
IS BROKEN JUST LIKE
THE MIRROR I LIKE
TO BREAK WHEN I SEE
MYSELF AND I SHOULD'VE
******* KNOW THAT
YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME LIKE
I LOVED YOU AND I SHOULD'VE
LEARNED TO LOVE MYSELF
BEFORE I PUT ALL OF MY
HOPES AND DREAMS INTO YOU.
NOW I'M STAYING UP UNTIL
3AM AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME
I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
HOW TO LOVE MYSELF,
INSTEAD OF LOVE YOU
MORE THAN ANYTHING
BECAUSE I CAN'T *******
DO THAT ANYMORE.

False hope is
dangerous.
It is like giving someone
medication and then-
knocking it out of their hands.
I can't believe that you could sit there and
lie
to
my
face.
Because nobody cares,
maybe not even you.

but maybe some drugs you
can take back after they've been
knocked onto the floor. not this
one.
you broke my mind as you
just dropped
countless pills on the floor.
my world fell crumbling down
(just like the tears you cried
when your great grandfather died).

I watched and waited and
hoped that you would start telling me
the truth,
and all you did was smile,
and I cried into an abyss because your shoulder
was too far away.
I don't know where I am or who
they are,
but I can tell that you mean something to me,
right?
I'm not sure,
I haven't taken medication.

i am addicted to my makeup,
because it makes me feel pretty.
i am also addicted to you,
but you make me feel ugly.
it bothers me that,
to everyone else,
my addiction to you
is the more logical of
the two.

you smelled like strawberry candy
(which was weird because you
didn't eat candy).
the minute I saw you I fell
for you but I didn't realize it until
months later when I
was crying into your shoulder
and I needed you to hold me
or else I would slip and fall.

and then I fell anyway,
but instead of falling away,
I fell for you.
I cried and told you that
I was scared,
I was so scared.
and you said that everything would
be ok, and you wouldn't leave me-
when things were bad, or things were good,
you would stay.

I was never sure that I
wanted you to stay until
I brought you to my favorite
place, and realized
that it wasn't my favorite place
anymore, it felt so wrong,
because you were my favorite
place, and I don't know
what I would do if I
didn't have you by my side.

Every time my eyes shut,
I hugged my arms close to my body,
trying to pretend I didn't see the end,
everything wrong,
and my worst nightmares.
you pressed a hand to my neck and
promised me
that it was just in my head,
and you begged me to open my eyes,
and see the truth.
so when I finally looked up,
I saw the truth-
I saw you.

i remember the day we started talking
(i mean really talking,
when you looked into my
soul and i into yours)
and i never thought it would
get so close.
like i couldn't breathe without
knowing you were inches away.

you told me i helped you
breathe too but
then why did you leave like that?
why'd you leave me outside
cold in the dark
when you stayed inside
and forgot about me,
moving on to happier times
(yeah maybe we didn't
always have the happiest
times but it was nice
to feel you next to me,
and you were alive next to me).

but now you're so far away
(it's funny, seconds ago you were
so close) and i'm finding it hard
to breathe again.
where are you?

one time i told you not to let go,
and you swore on your life that you wouldn't.
you pinky promised that you'd
never let go of my hand if i didn't let
go of yours. when we hid under
the bridge and kissed i could feel your
heart beating, and i grabbed your
hand harder, trying to hold onto it forever
to keep my end of the deal,
never wanting to let you go because
you were oh so beautiful

i never thought that you would be the
first to let go.
because i didn't.
i didn't let go, ******,
and you let my hand slip away.
you promised, but i should have known that
you were just waiting
to find something better to hold onto.

i grabbed your hand in the
dark (when the only lights were
the glow of your eyes) but then
this morning you rejected it
for someone else's
(someone who deserves you
way more than i do, i'm sure,
but it's hard to see you leave
when you promised you would stay).

i can't pretend
to be in one piece
because i'm an actress,
but i'm not that good.
i built my life around you,
so solidly
that it crumbled when you left.

it's like a castle that only needed
one brick.
but you are the brick and i am the castle
no one expected me to crumble
this easily
(but here i am, lying in a heap by
your feet).

i don't know why
i let you do this-
i should have built my own foundation.
instead, what did i do?
i broke just because you said
'goodbye'

we were in love,
but i didn't realize that you were
such a good liar and that i was so gullible.
i didn't realize that heartbreak and love
go hand in hand and that a boy like
you will always break my heart
the same way you broke that window
with your baseball in third grade.
I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YOU LIKE
GIRLS WHO DON'T TRY SO HARD TO
BE PERFECT

AND I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YOU
NEVER REALLY LOVED ME EITHER
BECAUSE I WANTED SOMEONE TO LOVE
ME BEFORE I DIED AND YOU
VOLUNTEERED WILLINGLY
BUT IT WAS ALL A JOKE AND
I WAS THE PUNCHLINE.

sometimes i care about you so much
that it takes a couple of minutes for
me to realize you don't care that much about me

it's weird that you and I
are the ones that don't question
how you can be a superhero
if you don't wear a cape.
you understand how you have
power to breathe air into me
and you have the power to take
my breath away.
you probably mean more to be
than the sun
and that's probably so
wrong but then again
loving you was always wrong,
wasn't it?
just because you don't wear
a cape doesn't mean you're not
a superhero and just because
loving you is wrong doesn't
mean i'll stop doing it.

it's kind of funny
that i fell in love with the idea of you
BUT SOMETIMES IDEAS
ARE SO FAR AWAY FROM THE TRUTH.
I EVEN HATE THE IDEA OF YOU NOW
AND IT'S KIND OF HARD TO HATE THAT.
YOU MADE ME HATE THE AIR AROUND ME
YOU MADE ME HATE MYSELF JUST
AS MUCH AS I HATE YOU.
YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS BECAUSE
YOU COULD AND NOW WHEN
YOU'VE TURNED ME INTO A MONSTER
INTO A CREATURE GASPING FOR AIR AND
SPITTING OUT BLOOD AT THE WORLD,
YOU WALK AWAY.
you are prince charming, but
only in fairytales is prince
charming actually charming.

you,
you are pathetic.
you think the world is a playground
and that i'm your toy.
YOU THINK I'M YOUR TOY
BUT I KNOW I'M NOT.
I AM A PERSON
A GOOD PERSON
A NICE PERSON
A PRETTY PERSON
I DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME
THAT I'M 'HOT'
ONLY TO MAKE ME HAPPY
AND BELIEVE YOUR IDIOT LIES
"she kind of looks okay without glasses,
less makeup, and straight hair."
EXCUSE YOU? I LOOK GREAT WITH GLASSES,
MAKEUP AND CURLY HAIR.
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I AM
BETTER THAN YOU
AND I AM NOT YOUR TOY.
I WILL NEVER BE YOUR TOY AGAIN
AND I WILL BURN THE PHOTOGRAPHS
OF YOU IN THE SCHOOL YEARBOOK
BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE
TO BE REMEMBERED BY ME.

it's just a band like you
are just a person.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW WHAT YOU JUST DID AFFECTS THE REST OF US?
no, of course you don't. if you have your daily dose of tequila, then you wouldn't notice if the world shattered (like the pottery you broke that time you got angry at your bandmates). you'd just pop in your headphones and keep on listening to your 'punk rock' music while the rest of us feared for our lives.
SO LET ME TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED AND HOW THE REST OF US ARE AFFECTED BY YOUR IDIOTIC ACTIONS
you left your brothers lying in a ditch (but then again, they always cared more than you anyways, didn't they?). AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN CARE THAT AS YOU DISCARDED THEM YOU ALSO DISCARDED OUR HEARTS AFTER YOU RIPPED OUR SOULS FROM THEIR SOCKETS. YOU DIDN'T EVEN LET US HELP YOUR BROTHERS UP BEFORE YOU PUT THE BLAME ON THEM AND MOVED ON WITH YOUR LIFE. YOU TRIED TO PAY US OFF WITH PROMISES OF BETTER DAYS, BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME OR MONEY TO WASTE ON YOU ANYMORE. YOU LEFT YOUR BROTHERS IN A DITCH AND GOT ANGRY WHEN THEY TURNED OUT OKAY. IF YOU'RE UPSET BECAUSE THEY SEEM LIKE THEY'RE DOING FINE WITHOUT YOU, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT THEM TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LIED TO US AS WE HUGGED YOU AND TOLD YOU HOW MUCH WE LOVE YOU. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LIED AS WE GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR YOU (BECAUSE WE TRUSTED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING). YOU DISCARDED US WHEN YOU LEFT YOUR BROTHERS IN A DITCH. STOP THINKING THAT YOU CAN START RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT OFF BECAUSE IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT. YOU CAN'T COME BACK WITHOUT YOUR BROTHERS AND TELL US YOU'RE GOING TO DO GREAT THINGS BECAUSE ONCE YOU TOLD US FOREVER, AND YOU BROKE FOREVER. REMEMBER WHEN I READ YOU A BOOK ABOUT LOVE? IT WAS YOUR FAVORITE BECAUSE IT TALKED ABOUT INFINITY AND YOU THOUGH THAT IT WOULD BE YOU, BUT THAT WAS A ****** BOOK ANYWAYS, AND YOU ARE A ****** EXCUSE FOR A HERO.

she is the heart of the party, and he is the soul.
the soul goes on much longer, after the heart
has stopped beating and the girl has grown up,
but the soul will always exist. her heart is already
starting to break as he glows with life and her
breathes come out faintly, but he doesn't even notice.
she is the heart of the party, but he is the soul,
and they would never really work, even though
they hope they would as they cling onto each other.
(they do that because they already feel their grip loosening
and soon they'll loose each other in the middle of the party.)

once you told me i was pretty
with a different girl plastered to your eyelids.

i miss you
(do you miss me?)
we are torn apart and scattered
into the corners of the world
into high schools
(into hell.)
we are judged
because we do not have
either to
complete the other.
so we are incomplete,
and at night we cry because
they took you from me
and I will never get you back.

i am in love with you.
but you are poison.
i can never breathe as i stand
next to do,
fluttering my eyelashes
but not being able to see
because the poison you
bleed has clouded my vision.
i am in love with you
but you are not in love with me.
HOW COULD YOU
DO THIS
YOU ARE POISON
AND I HATE YOU SO MUCH
THAT ALL I THINK OF IS YOU
WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES THERE IS YOU
AND YOU ARE
SLOWLY KILLING ME
BUT I CAN'T GET OUT OF THE
DEADLY CYCLE BECAUSE
I AM ATTRACTED TO YOU,
LIKE A MAGNET.
you will slowly eliminate me
like a contestant on your favorite gameshow,
until i am no more than
*nothing

hi.
hola.
live life to the fullest.
but my darling,
this isn't wonderland.
(it's a school bathroom
where the rejected students
hide, crying because
of the bad science grade so)
help me.
who are you?
I'm bored.
(save me from myself,
save me from the way
my hands shake when I
pick up a pencil.)
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I hate you.
lol looser
(we're both stuck
here in the same bathroom stall
so save yourself before
they find us and chain us back
onto the blue chairs
we used to drown in.)
hot girls list
-you
-you
(it was nice to meet you my darling
before the world exploded
and we had to return
to reality.)

your lips are coated in poison
(full of death)
but mine are coated in lipgloss
(full of death).
He'd rather choose the poison
then fall prey to a girl
with cherry lipstick
and a pretty face
pulling him in and never
letting him
out.

you treated her like she was worthless
so she began to believe that she was.
her body was priced and put on the
market,
and she always fell prey to bargain hunters,
she was on sale
two for the price of one
(when they got her, they got her best friend.
neither of them believed they meant anything,
because of you.)
how does it feel to know that you were the merchant,
that handled the selling and put them on the market,
so they would be almost worthless.
you left her lying there,
in the clearance aisle,
and she didn't think she was worth it
to move from that aisle.
it's because of you that girls bodies
are sold off like nothing more than a
new pair of shoes,
to to trash that thought nothing
more than her curves and her
winking eyes
(you always taught her how
to wink, it would make her seem
more worth a fight for that.
but you and me both know
that's not what it did.)
you are the enemy that kills hopes and dreams,
and you've put the idea in her mind
that she is nothing.
You will never be forgiven for that
awful act.
(not by me, or her,
or anything else)

i.** I need you to survive,  I tried to breathe air in the sky, but my lungs only receive it when your eyes fill them up with air. Then, I can breathe again. The functions of my body begin to work, like gears in the clock I used to love (before you told me you hated it, then I forgot all about it). My eyes don’t fill up with water unless you pour buckets from the ocean into them. (my eyes sting but I’ve forgotten the pain, if that is the only way to survive with you by my side). And I cannot eat until your fingernails have broken, by the way you dig into the sand with a beach shovel, because that is the only way you know how to feed me.

ii.I cannot live with you by my side (it is impossible to have you anywhere near). When you help me breathe, my heart stops (but not in a good way, the kind that signals a bomb going off). It’s hard to walk alongside you while my heart wants to beat to the beat of a clock that you despise. That clock used to be the thing keeping me living, but now it is you. You are also the reason I am slowly dying. My mind is starting to fade, so I only remember you and the way you dig in the sand (and even though I hate the beach, I’ve forgotten that too). My fingernails are chipping as I scrape the paint of the wall of my bedroom, to make it beautiful for you to enjoy. I am slowly dying because you, because of the reason that I am surviving. (I’d try to get out, but either way I die, and I’d rather die with you holding my hand then you taking the air away from my lungs).

iii. I do not matter to you at all. I am not the air in your lungs or the force that is slowly killing you. To you, I am just another summer day to enjoy, but forget the next day. You wouldn’t even let me breathe if my best friend did not call everyday to remind you (even fake people care about me more than you ever will.) I cannot live without you though, and you have made sure of that. You have taken away my clock, that beautiful clock that helped me move without pain. You have pushed away all my friends, and my enemies (I shall miss my enemies more though, they were beautiful wars we fought each other at). Perhaps it does not even matter that I mean nothing to you, because I will easily slip out of bed one day to hide in the cracks on the wall, and I doubt that you will even notice.

iv. You told me you didn’t care, so why did you lie? why did you lie through your skin and bones to the edges of my heart, until I had no choice but to climb to the top of the clock. That clock that you took away from me, but I still carried with me even in the ocean (it was the only thing I had besides the memories of you that pushed away even the thought of breathing). “tick tock” you have made this sound a million times, yet you have lied through your teeth that you hated this clock. it’s kind of odd, but I have no time to do anything because your enemies have confronted you, and you are pushed up against the wall. (you told me your enemies were fake, but I know they are real, because they have skin, and a beating heart. they even remember how to breathe sometimes).

v. oh. it all makes sense now. You are the clock. I am the air surrounding you, giving you mystery, and that is why I am still here. That is why you even care enough to listen when they tell you I need to breathe, or to scrap yourself trying to feed me. That is why you have told me you despise the clock, because you are the clock, and you despise yourself most of all. “Tick tock” it’s almost night, and you are afraid of the shadows. Your enemies lurk in the shadows, and you cry in the shadows. You're the clock and you will feed me, but will forget to help me breathe unless you are reminded, because you are busy hiding from the shadows that scare you, and you are busy showing the world when the shadows will appear. I wish I could mean more to you (I wish I could be the hand that strikes every hour) but that will never be, so I will settle with holding your head as you cry in the shadows and tell me how much you despise that clock (we all have our demons and perhaps yours were never visible until I confronted mine).