i gave wrong people the right pieces of me
my optimism didn't want to see
the way you really felt about me
i didn't want the truth to faze
the happiness i felt from the lie
the truth i did not know
until i opened my mind
and saw through your eyes
your smile was a complete disguise
what a terrible thing it hide
a "sorry" will not suffice
when my love is more
and the pain dripped out in every word

he was walking very fast pace
as if he was scared to lose in a race
but this wasn't a race, what was missing?
maybe someone he desires to be kissing?

i took steps forward, my eyes met a kind face
but how come when he turned around i saw a black rag in his mouths place?
liquid hues poured out of my head in deep confusion
is this the man in front of me only a delusion?

i tugged at it, and discovered his lips were sown together by purple thread
worried for his soul, his eyes and lips bled
he clench my wrists, chained them and injected my hips
i didn't know where i was going but i entered a lunar eclipse

i woke up as a light flickered and then focused on me
they stripped me of comfort, and placed lingerie on my intoxicated body
"four thousand?" " five thousand?" that's what i heard from a deep voice
"Sold for 5,000!" i was enslaved by a man, I didn't have a choice

blind folded, i counted the seconds it took to reach this location
i heard screams, moans, and violence. it was a workstation
he threw me in a tiny room and locked me out, no where to run and hide
i lie on a ****** bed, exhausted, and being tied

i saw a blur? a man, he stormed in and locked the door behind him
i tried my best to get him off me but i was too weak and the light was dim
tied down, no escape only submission to a man who doesn't have a name
numb and barely living, he slid harshly in between my legs, i couldn't scream, i couldn't cry, then he came

~a.h.

he said he was scared of commitment
but he had tattoos all over his skin,
i guess he didn't see me as a work of art
or maybe he didn't think the pain was worth it

He doesn’t look dangerous
He has soft skin
And baby cheeks
And playfully wavy auburn hair
And his saturated turquoise eyes
Look so honest
And his hugs are like marshmallows
And his hands are so warm
And his smile is like sunlight

Sure, he doesn’t look dangerous
But his eyes lie
And his hands are warm from
Holding so many other hands
And he has a sharp brain
And he isn’t afraid to use it
And he has a distant heart
And a mouth of manipulation
And hungry teeth
And a poisonous bite

He doesn’t look dangerous
And he knows that
But he is dangerous
You just don’t know it yet
-a.h.

i lost control today
a fool i am, for you flirt obnoxiously in front of my ******* face
i know you do not love me but i still feel pain knowing i will be replaced and that all i am to you is waste of space
sorry for the inconvenience
- a.h.

my darling is fearful
I want the best for her
she is sad but she's the luminous moon
you would disagree and cause a stir

I told you that you aren't your fear
you let it define you anyway
she called to her voices
told the darkness to stay

the moon was hiding from me
no where to be seen yet right in front of me
I looked right through her, she was not the same
locked up inside but her craters spoke I'm free

-a.h.

i can not help but speak inaniloquently
is this the reason for my cachinnation at the world?
the society is blatherskite to me in everyway
the cerulean is lacking truth due to society's view
why does comminatory slither through our eyes, like the perfect disguise?
i hope for a world of disenthral, without the leading of so much passion withdraw
i do not stand for exsanguine, or the end of our precious humanity

its been awhile
since i took a brush and swirled it in paint
a representation of my emotions swirling my brain into mush
each drop of hue into the other is a cataclysmic thought
each one carries the determination of destruction
i mix and let my head do the work
churning, a broken clock
i make something horrendous
death contamination
glass breaking skin
and i wonder
how they see color
on this canvas that pertains to my soul
when all my eyes see is black and white
a wither flower
hidden pain
and a depression unseen
not even
in inevitable hues

my skin is turning purple
due to your absence
you can't see the bruises you left on my skin
you are not who I expected you to be but it is who you have always been
I assumed you were kind by the way you looked at me
the way you touched my pale skin
I convinced myself that I deserved the love you provided for me
but I'm lying to myself because you are a sin
you never cared or loved for me
It was all an act
I could tell when we first kissed
the kiss we shared was not true because you weren't even there
your mind was pondering about her
I loved you but you loved your ex lover
I gave you my all and it wasn't enough to make you want me
so I'm begging you please
let go and accept me
~ a.h.

I hear you speak
way back when
but your lips
never move

the street lights dim
behind the glass
and the tires scream
beneath us

you see me
but I can’t tell
if you’re looking at me
or through me

because the lights
get eaten up
in your eyes

I can’t breathe
the world is so small
and my head is too heavy
and my heart is still

I sing
and you turn on the radio

black white noise
like your mouth.
~ a.h.

been awhile
since i took a brush and swirled it in paint
a representation of my emotions swirling my brain into mush
each drop of hue into the other is a cataclysmic thought
each one carries the determination of destruction
i mix and let my head do the work
churning, a broken clock
i make something horrendous
death contamination
glass breaking skin
and i wonder
how they see color
on this canvas that pertains to my soul
when all my eyes see is black and white
a wither flower
hidden pain
and a depression unseen
not even
in inevitable hues

I do anything for a little bit of her attention
She’s become so distant, losing all connection
I haven’t heard the soothing excitement in her voice in months
Instead “I can’t right now” is her favorite response

It’s always been bad, but my god, has it gotten worse
She’d tell you that her life has been cursed
While she locks herself away in a bedroom that surrounds of hoard
Walls filled to the brim of things that she can’t afford

She’s so unhappy and yet, convinced that items will bring her happiness
While she clings to memories that weigh her heart of heaviness
Holding on to what life use to be before her parents passed away
Forgetting that she still has children that need her in their life to this day

Sometimes I wonder if she’ll be able to pull through
When I decide to exchange my I do’s
As of seeing my first home, she had to postpone
But above all else, one day, I’ll have children of my own
And I hope you’ll show and be there to watch them grow

Mom, I’m not asking for perfection
But sometimes I’m not sure where you’ve gone
And it’s just been so long…
That I’d do anything for a little bit of your attention

my corpulent heart is shrinking
the skullduggery has really beat me up this time
im still impavid but hurting
limerence
my power house, so weak i might not last this week
ubiquitous hate takes a smoke just to suffocate me
vapid head from education with no imagination
someone save me from this cataclysmic place

one mistake and im wilting
all because of the lack of attention and love i receive
always lonely always sad
wanting to be happy but continuous judgement will never make me glad
you call me sneaky but that is due to you being strict
you do not believe in me or acceptance
you make me feel dead inside
sorry for not being enough even when i am at my best

-a.h.

here's to the dreamers, to the ones who believe
to the ones who understand,
who look at and perceive

here's to the artists, to the ones who create
to the ones who invent
who still patiently wait

here's to the poets, to the ones who imagine
to the ones who are different
who try to take action

here's to the authors, to the ones who portray
to the ones who tell stories
who discover the day

here's to the dreamers, to the ones who can see
to the ones with compassion
to the ones who believe

my smile was tainted
until you came along
face didn't need to be painted
you told me how naturally beautiful I am, covering it seemed wrong

If you asked me to show you God, I would not read you the bible,

Or the Quran or the Vedas or the Torah or anything with a holy title,

I would not take you to a temple and I would not point to the sky,

I would not even tell you to look in your heart, because that would be a lie



Instead, I would take you to the subways in the heart of New York City,

and I would point at the violin player playing so euphoniously without self pity,

I would take you to California and give you a tour of the high tech laboratory,

and introduce you to engineers working the next chapter of the human story



Or maybe, we would fly to the slums of Brazil where it so nice and warm,

And see the 12 year old zooming past 10 kids with a ball, a legend is born,

Or we could visit the villages of India, where time is not the same it is now,

And we could see the women, using magic to make food that is sure to wow



You might ask what the point of all this is, and what this has to do with God,

And I will tell you that God is made up of many peas and this world is the pod,

And you will think I am crazy but will look at the world with new admiration,

Because it is only with this perspective, that the world can reach true salvation

As he walked into the coffee house
his luminous blue eyes saw right through me
he grabbed a cup of joe
I took a sip of my hot tea

He claimed the seat beside me
He had a story to share
About the day he lost his love
the day he lost his care

He gave her his affection
His body, mind, and soul
She never opened up to him
She lied and lost control

Something changed within my love
Darkness contaminated her brain
His sad eyes clearly realize
the darkness running in her veins

He continued to fight, with tears falling forth
His strength is a lions bite, and it grows
She disappeared, gone like a glow on the cloud at the close of day
Only my lover knows

Yet he ends up at this coffee house
Depression not his look
I see though your eyes full of sorrow
You don't want to be judged like the cover of a book

Coping with this cataclysm
A woman once very sweet
A woman remains hidden in the shadows
His despair under her feet

~ a.h.

my love we have had some wonderful times
being with you i get a taste of your grape vines
juicy and sweet from the very core
drowning ideas from your mouth pour
abruptly dreams flutter around my room
every single one about you not letting yourself bloom
i'm not quite sure why your interest is on her
but i'm confronting this continuous blur
i have loved you from the moment i saw your eyes
just because it was you, i adored all your lies
hearing your pain on a late friday night call
restriction of comforting you makes me ball
for you're my paint, and tonight ill be making you into how i see you
as art as love as beauty as mine at heart, but you have never had a clue

the wonders in the skies

embracing the connection of light

take my breath, consume my eyes

the planets try to clear my sight


I am a work of art

i give my soul to the universe

my tongue tastes something ****

words that kissed lips are not terse

she is all things beauty, head to toe,
yet she contains a mind full of sadness.
she doesn't reply or externally give a ****.
nor does she acknowledge me prying of the chains
chains of desolation she protects as if ill scar her
clinging on to the darkness
with the firmest hold
as a caution of not being slaughtered again on a continuous loop of unfortunate events
what she doesn't realize
is herself, idolizing, the depression veil covering her.
the demons that keep her mouth shut yet
continue to scream loudly in her brain.
lost and afraid in her own mind aka her death cave
her back starts to concave due to the weariness
of the rocks piling up in her, **** her not so softly
your eyes tell everything, all the pain
just give me a single moment
our hands intertwined
an antidepressant
~a.h.

poetry sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear pretty words about the way you make me feel