The icy air surrounds us,
Your scent almost overwhelms,
I feel your heartbeat on my cheek,
Your warm hands on my back,
The whispers in my ear,
I breath it all in.
I inhale our beauty

You were the strong one,
You didn't cry or break,
You stood up to bullies,
And fought your own fights.
Until you stopped.
You cried alone but I saw.
I saw you cry.
I saw your mask slip.
I want to know what happened.
I want to help,
But I won't push.
Maybe you'll tell me next time.

Sometimes it hurts.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do.
Sometimes it doesn't stop.

I want a boy who looks at me as though there's something worth seeing.
I want a boy with eyes full of mischief,
I want a boy who isn't afraid to be vulnerable,
I want a boy who sees my flaws and continues to love me.
I want a boy who can love me.
I want a boy who I can love.

I write away the pain,
I trap it in ink,
These pages hold more then words,
They hold me.

A war rages in my heart,
The only casualties are my feelings,
My tears threaten to spill when we speak,
How do I tell you that I love another,
You are my brother,
If not by blood then by bond,
I can't live without you,
But I can't live with you,
If I tell you how far will you go?
Could I still reach you?
Can we go back to friendship?

I told you once, twice and many more times,
But you can't seem to release your grip,
Or even get a grip,
You're not the one for me,
I'm not the one for you,
But you can't stand the thought of me with someone else,
He is kind,
He treats me right,
He is trustworthy,
He isn't you.
You need to leave me alone
Learn to forget me,
Just let go

I need you to just stop,
Go away,
Don't look at me with those big brown eyes,
I need some time,
Please, you're going to make me cry,
I know how it feels to be on you're end of the bad news,
I'm trying to hold back from old patterns,
but you're difficult to forget.

Don't be sad, depressed or lonely.
"Follow me!" they say,
Belivieve us we will show
you the way!
The cures just an arms reach away!

Sad?
Well joys just a little sniff away, you can even puff if you'd like!
"Look at you, all grown up!"
Depressions easy!
Meet the lips of a bottle to your own, till you forget you're down!
"I think you're getting it!"
And if you're lonely,
Just find another body to lay with.
"See! You can take care of yourself just fine!"

Oh honey they never tell you,
The sniff becomes necessary,
The drinking nightly,
It's only lust,
Never love.
but it's just a little to late,
You drank their Kool-Aid.

I'm not afraid to fall,
I'm afraid to land.

What are you so afraid of?
...
That you'll leave me like the last person who said that...

If you don't intend on staying
I'd rather you leave now.
I have no interest in temporary love.

Don't love me if you don't
expect to be let down and for
the love of god, don't trust
me with your heart.

Look through a liars eyes,
See what betryal,
What pain,
What fear,
Has turned them into.
Only through a liars eyes.

If you can't go on dates,
You aren't old enough to date.

You never have to get over something,
You just have to get through it for now.

We may have kissed,
But not the lips.
We didn't mean to last,
Just distract.
One rule,
No lips.
Lips are for lasting.

I say I hate you.
Little do you know,
I'm scared to say I love you.

You told me I'd never do it,
That my dreams are unrealistic.
Well maybe they are, but I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it twice and look **** good doing it.

I'll give you pleasure,
Then show you pain.
You'll never smile so wide,
Or cry so hard.
It's suffocating in silk.
It's drowning in daffodils.
It's a strange addiction

If love is a battlefield,
Doesn't that make life war?
And what's war without casualties?

After building yourself up
so many times after being broken down,
You learn to cherish the pain,
And love your destruction.

I am a magician!
Just watch me go,
I can make the tears disappear when you open the door.
I can hide my feelings,
You'll never find them,
****!!
The frown turns upside down.
I am an illusionist,
Caught in my own snares,
Only seeing my own tricks.

I am weak,
I feel sad,
I feel tired,
I feel used,
But I look strong,
I look happy,
I look alert,
I seem helpful.
But only because that's what I want you to see,
My perfect mask.

They say you can't miss what you    
never had,
But I still miss you.

You fight tooth and nail
Until you're sitting on a throne,
On top of a monarchy.
Not only will Society fear you.
Society will surround you,
It suffocate you
And it will tear you apart.
Until finally,
You're a shattered soul beneath a crown,
Nothing but the luxuries you
****** yourself for.

If you blame me for being
a monster,
You must first know what made me this way.
I wasn't born into it.

I crave a new feeling.
That near death thrill,
The one that makes you feel so alive.
The falling,
But never landing.
The light,
Followed by darkness.
The knowing,
That you'll only be guessing.

I couldn't explain how you made me feel
Never before so anyone care,
Never before has someone looked
at me like that,
Never before have I felt it.
It was Love.
But I noticed a little too late.

Our love wilted and died.
I left you behind.
I said I'd never look back,
I lied.

You never needed me
Though you always used me.
I'm part to blame because,
I let you
You didn't even hesitate
when you left.
It was one sided love,
only more complicated.
To you,
I was expendable and replaceable.
Next to nessasary

Night and Day
I laugh,
I joke,
But that only lasts the day.

Then at night,
The sun goes down,
Along with my walls,
I  break,
I cry.
And just a little bit,
I die.

Then when the sun comes up,
So do my walls,
My smiles fake,
My tears dry.

My emotions are night and day.

I'm not falling for you.
We don't work.
I'm not falling.
You keep smiling.
I refuse to fall.
You deserve better.
I won't fall...
Because I've already fallen.

Not What I Meant
I told you to leave,
I said I was fine,
I laughed it off,
There was something in my eye,

But that's not what I meant.

I needed you to stay,
I was falling apart,
Later I cried,
I just wanted to die.

She fell to her knees,
In a open field all alone.
She prayed,
She cried,
She screamed.
Nobody answered,
She tried to end her life.
Life left her,
But Death loved the girl,
Death took her by the hand,
Rose her off her knees,
Breathed life back through her lips,
And he whispered
" Not Yet"

I can't stop thinking about her.
We drank and laughed,
I think it was the first time I drank to remember rather than to forget.
She asked me to kiss her and I laughed.
"Anytime" I said.
I meant it
I backed up to grab another drink,
afraid that I might give in to the strangth of the ***** in my hands.
Even after you had thrown up,
you had looked at me and laughed.
You were pretty all the time
That night I slept with your head on my lap,
hoping it was you who asked, not your drink.
That was months ago and Ive been waiting for another sign.
Im afraid it was only me

I laugh,
I smile,
I play,
I don't feel it,
Any of it,
I am afraid I'm dying,
Slowly,
I am fading away,
Slowly,
I am numb to any joy,
I scream,
I cry,
I fall apart,
Slowly,
But you are numb when I do,
You don't see it,
You don't hear it,
I am dying,
Slowly,
And you won't remember me.

Her weakness wasn't her love,
Instead it was her greatest strength
It had driven her to win,
to be the best,
Too drive for excellence.
Here only weakness was her hate,
It burned through her,
Like a forest fire threatening to devour every thing inside her
Her heart constantly battling between  her greatest strength and her greatest weakness.

"Do you dream of me?"
No. I but I think of you often.
I don't hid you in the corners of my mind,
Only to be seen while sleep,
I love you on purpose.
It was not love at first sight,
I saw you, I met you
And I decided to love you.
On purpose.

I remember that night like yesterday.
When I was on top of the world until I wasn't Suddenly I was brought back unto the bathroom floor.
I rolled over, closed my eyes, and passed out
I remember thinking
"Maybe I was meant to die alone"
I accepted it as I floated out of my head
And for the first time,
everything felt okay

You don't get to pick and choose,
Cutting me apart to fit into your puzzle,
I am whole,
And if you want my body you have to take my heart.
Sorry, but it's a package deal.

This feeling in my chest,
This pain,
It's only when I think about you it hurts.
The pain you hid,
It eats you alive,
I've only seen you cry twice,
But I know I'm my heart that's not all that happens behind those deep brown eyes,
This pain, I thinks it's called love.

You ask me to paint for you.
You said you love all my paintings.
I know that I will never be satisfied,
nothing could ever be good enough for you.
Im trying but all I want to paint is you

You stoke my disire,
Your personal fire.

You are my dark side,
Personified.

It doesn't have to rhyme
all the time,
You just start
And let it flow from your heart.

It kills me but I've never been so alive,
My vitals drop, my temperature rises,
All because you're near,
You keep me on the brink of death,
But if you leave today, I won't wake up tomorrow,
Your my perfect poison,
My only antidote.

The closer I get,
the farther I'll go.
Your Brown eyes pull me in,
Your amazing scent lures me closer,
Your warm hands bring me to you.
The closer I get,
The farther I've gone

I was a ride or die girl.
Now I'm a dead girl.