everyday i ask myself what should i do
lose motivation in a wrong simulation
was i born this way
all the pain i have
finally make me alive

the more i grow
the more that i knew
i don't want to live with no problems
i want to live to solve the problems
that's what make me alive
this is how i grow
the pain wouldn't go away
someone will take my happiness
how painful must it have been?

I've always dreamed of adventure, but now, I'm not so sure.
I grew up playing video games and playing pretend in the woods.
What I would've given to be Link with my own legendary quest.
But these are turbulent times.
Between my anxiety and the businessman-president and his blue-bird threats and the media, honestly, I'd rather curl up in a ball and stay inside my house forever.
But the truth is, no one ever caught a crocodile by hiding in their
house.
It takes real bravery.
And while I've got problems staring me down like I'm deadmeat,
I've got to be a crocodile hunter. I have to.
It's the only way to free the princess trapped inside.

It quickly became apparent that not all was
as it once was.
The mouth which governed the wall
(which was twisted and cracked)
smiled,

and proceeded to
grind its teeth
to the beat of the
morbid drone of
the siren.

Each a percussive
slab of yellowing ivory,
chipped, curved;
a grizzled toenail.
Being torn off
may solve more problems
than it causes.

At the door:
A  brushing noise.
If the mouth could see
how gracefully
I navigate the room,
it might be impressed
and let me out.

*Note to self:
Doors are best left closed.

i was chillin one night
sitting in the clouds
talkin **** with the insomniac
when we thought of the question
what if we could transform
i began to figure out
what might actually take form
understand my imagination is crazy
in my mind all is possible
im tryin to look forward
so it might be futuristic
not like the jetsons
its gonna be realistic
some practical that might
help us out in some sort
making the human race more lazy
making our life her not worth it
shortly after nature kicks in
we get fat and wont walk
then great *** we will lack
men and women get restless
and things will get grizzly
not for me at least cause
in my mind im fit and well
with the power to turn
the pretty girls into supermodels
and keep the bitter ones
lookin like a blue whale

as u can see i think pretty awkward
id wanna be gigantic
but i gotta take flying lessons
because i gotta get some wings
to fly over my problems
and fly straight to the meanings
super strength to beat them down
then a lot of marksmanship
to make sure they stay down
my imagination is cautious
so i threw that one in
just to cover my end

but then i begin to think
about those that need help
so i begin to imagine
a being to lend a hand
maybe a super hero
in a 3rd world country
giving children water to drink
so they can have a chance
to grow and develop
maybe have an imagination
and dream just like me
then make that dream
an all too needed reality
you never know about
that kid you call a habeeb
he might discover the death
to that monster we call ***

but who am i to say
my imagination makes sense
Jody Breeze would feel me
he agrees wit it all day
cause my bro and i
we fly in the clouds since
you cats aint think freely
so using my mind
with the function god gave me
ill wonder how we will devise
a shortcut in nature
to alter our appearance
in this market based reality
cause if enough people
step up for to the table
to sign the medical clearance
pigs will fly
madness will multiply
the cosmos would be fried
and half the world might die
that means police would have wings
to catch "criminals" who wouldnt
steal but whose cousin has steel
that gives pigs halos to match
those wings given in police training
but thats my paranoia
in my silly imagination
i might sound crazy to
most close minded fools
so ill stay in my clouds
and contemplate
a perfect transformation
to slap onto the slate
to help us better our state
of mind and put us in the groove
to soothe our stress
refuse to use our heat
and become completely cool

Peace is Love. Love is everything

I walked so far
And who I was, I left behind
Then I found something new
And now that I’ve lived this life
The time has come to stop
The direction has become a circle

Is there a God in my midst
Is it what I have already met
Or what has already left?

Who could expect more
To walk inside a dream
And then another
To know what you want
To become the dream

But to wake up
Not wondering what you saw
Or if it made sense
But instead knowing
All the pieces were there
Is it time for a new dream
Or to try to live it after it is over?

Can I really cross the sea
When it won't let me be?
The revolution is the dream
But peace makes my soul free
I can't tell time anymore
What was so far has become today
The eagles I once saw
Are no longer leading the way
Hovering over the waters
The spirit still silently waits
The promise is still being kept
But this time it may be too late

What can be said
An entire religion has answered the question
It has been said
It has been lived
But I have not lived it
And I have not said it
What is left is gripped tightly
Held together by life
By responsibility
But is it unhealthy fight for every goal
Is it when it is not who you are anymore
When the challenge is not achievement
But instead sanity in the midst of someone else’s dream
A dream that is no longer worthy of your own
A dream from which you have awaken
A dream that cannot exist within your own

What is real is love
What is real is love
What is real is love

Where is the plan for this
Is it to walk the streets of a crowded city
To meet someone either as scared as you
Or someone who is not scared at all
Do you tell them who you are
What you have said
What has happened to you
But to which face in which you see do you speak
I could smile at buildings
And at a poor woman cleaning the building
Ask her how she feels
But what if she cries
Should I begin where her tears dry?
Should I begin where her problems lie?
Is it her problems that is love?

Where in the night is the woman who lives in another city
Where in the night is the woman who has heard me speak
Where in the night is the woman who loves but cannot trust

I made her that way

And now there is something else
Is it love?
Is it art?
Is it just to live
With memories
Or with hope?

I have to find a way
Find a way to be in my head with a new dream
But the last one was so perfect
And it ended the way it was written

The man that stood in black.
That man that was there,
When I always turned back.
He, That man,
Was there,
Standing still.
Cold as ice,
But eyes warm,
And mind so nice.
The Man In Black, and I
Spoke thru silence.
We stood there.
Eyes growing wilder in violence,
But yet the conversation
Was so sweet.
Tender enough to the point
I needed no greet.
The Man In Black,
Was hard to make of.
I couldn’t see much of his face,
Except that his teeth and eyes
Was as white as a dove.
He showed much remorse
Thru smiles, and love.
He covered me thru all of my
Hard times.
When I had to push and shove.
But The Man In Black
Was a scheme and darkness.
Every talk we had,
My silence grew angry.
My silence was violence.
My silence became a riot…
It became a riot.
A RIOT!
RIOT!!
RIOT!!!
RIOT!!!!
I couldn’t hide it.
I loved The Man In Black,
But why couldn’t he stay for long?
Why when I had problems he
Seems to always be gone?
WHERE’S THAT MAN?!
Why…
I thought I had a friend.
I just wanted a friend.
That man in black,
Was a trace of myself.
My guilt.
My conscious.
My trend.
I no longer had a friend,
That was in all black,
That man became me.
Every time I turned back.


                  Marci H.

Good-morning eyes that are quenched by the sun,
with breath that aligns to feel one.

Good-morning motor like steps that shall dance,
and dreams that I plan to romance.

Good-morning clouds that do drift in the sky,
with breath of inhale that holds sigh.

Good-morning heartbeats that sing joyfully,
and love that makes me feel so free.

Good-morning day thats a gift inside light,    
with candle in heart that burns bright.

Good-morning boats that move upon the sea,  
and source that gives comfort to me.

Good morning flowers of beauty that grow,  
with love inside life I will sow.      

Good-morning words that begin inside prayer,
and blessings that wash away fear.    

Good-morning trust that I carry inside,
with purpose I move in with pride.

Good-morning new day that has me evolve,
and problems that I can yes solve.

Good-morning God who brings pure love so strong,  
with path that makes me move in song.

Good-morning guides who I bow to in grace,
and I now applaud human race.



StarBG © 2017

i am the hypocrite,
whatever i will take that title
might as well, i would take any hit
to keep your *** safe, and i still would

but we are both *******
with good reason to be
you just bail on us to hang with the new people
but what about me

and your other friends you bailed on
and then come back when you are lonely
but ***** it, i am tired of be walked on
you act all innocent, and you will go complain

and whine to your "friends" about
this, and i really do not care,
you and most of my problems are now
out of my hair

your not my problem now,
and do not expect forgiveness,
because you will receive none,
and neither will i,

but when I touch you
it's just a spark to rubber
voltage extinguished

You may run from it.
You may simply ignore it.
You may forget it.
But when the time comes….
It will surely catch up with you.
One day or another.

See you make me hate life and refuse to smile at everything!
I hope ya know yo son loved you more than anything!
But now you just another no trusting ***** who lost all of my love!
You say Thomas quit crying but see this is the **** i'm tired of!
As much as I wanna die right now but i'm not thinking so clearly!
I want you to read this **** and understand how severely this is making me weary!
I got NOTHING I hope you understand this *****!
just like when you lost everything cause you had that itch!
I ain't talking all this **** out of anger or frustration!
I'm saying it cause you were my motivation someone who knew my problems without me giving an explanation,
I thought today would be a celebration but now I now sit and wonder about my education but honestly it don't mean **** to me if ya not even gonna be at the graduation so I now I yell **** the world and back to isolation!

We went from “who loves orange soda?” to take a shot for me.
To waiting in lines at the DMV, from waiting in lines at the school dance like “bruh hold my spot for me”
From N64 controllers to leasing a Toyota Corolla
Dealing with these adult life problems we don’t have no control of

From pillow forts to the rents due
From action figures to hopes of six figures
From razor scooters to shaving with razors
From love letters to car notes
crazy right?

The only losses we worried about were argued through Rock Paper Scissors.
Now we worry about losing jobs, material things and on the news daily we lose our brothers and sisters.

The only pain we felt was scraping our knees on the concrete.
Now we scrape change tryna pay the bills hoping that our ends meet.
I wish I could go back, I close my eyez with my memories and feel gratification.
And the thing I miss most of all at that tender age is my imagination

I can’t believe I couldn’t wait to get big

don't worry for me
i will be fine, as always
problems dissipate

I'VE HEARD OF SHANGRILA - THEY SAY
THE HOTEL IS  NOT TOO FAR - JUST STROLL
IN, ORDER YOUR MEAL AND THEN I'LL
TELL YOU ABOUT THE DEAL : FIFTEEN
THOUSAND POUNDS FOR TEN PEOPLE,
SOUNDS A BIT STEEP AND I'LL ASSURE
YOU IT'S NOT AN ERROR - FROM SHARKS
FIN SOUP TO ABALONE, MUST BE BETTER
THAN HOME-ALONE OR IS IT? GROSS
OPULENCE FOR MOST OF US - ANY TRAVEL
PROBLEMS - WE'LL BUY THE BUS - A MERE
SNIP FOR MR. ABROMOVITCH - WE WOULDN'T
WANT TO QUEER HIS PITCH, PERHAPS IT'S
TIME TO PAUSE AWHILE, JUST TO SEE MY SICKLY SMILE.

Beat down your door
As I scream your name
You left me alone
You left me with my shame
How could you expect
This would be okay
Change my life
Then leave it in shambles
Tear my heart out
And smash it to pieces
Stomp on my insecurities
Keeping me in painful silence
My mouth sewn shut
Keeping our old love secret
I sit here and see you laugh
At the women you left
A sobbing child
I stumble over
Every step forward
While you sit an
Blow away life’s problems
I am stuck in the muck
While you watch me
Sink farther
Into nothingness

i watched the earth
consume the sun,
a rampant fire blazing within.
the sky turned orange
and pink and peach and purple
and everything in between,
it was like an explosion had gone off
and left the beauty and dust behind,

i eyed the green trees
become dark silhouettes,
painting themselves
against the backdrop of opalescence.
smoke coming from chimneys
took on a dark grey shade
and outlines of houses and rooftops
began to separate the gravel from the welkin.

i adored the sky ablaze
and watched it scorch and blacken
with rage.
it was everything and nothing,
and as angry as it was, it felt peaceful.
and at once, the sky was dead,
and small fragments
of the previous blaze dotted the dark coat above.

it was as if to say,
the world is sleeping,
but our problems are not,
for though the sky is dark
and no longer ablaze,
stars still coat the interstice
to remind us of what is unfinished.

if a goddess from above and lucifer had a kid, it would be you.
every weekend with you was new, but always started with you giving me a face full of make-up & one of your raggy shirts that i so desperately loved but you just picked up from your closet floor, not even thinking twice if it smelled or not.  i didn't really care though, because even if it was ***** & smelled like your usual pack of malboros that i hated, i would try to find the slight smell of your lavender perfume that your ex-boyfriend got you from a cheap kiosk in the ****** mall we refuse to enter.

every time i come over i have to wake you up because you always oversleep whenever you take a nap before we go out, leaving a half-eaten bowl of soggy cereal in your lap & i always wonder how the hell it doesn't fall on you but then i remember that whenever you sleep by yourself you never move because when you were eight you were scared of monsters sensing you in the dark & you didn't want them taking you so you never moved from your spot in your little twin sized bed.

you made sure to always take your moms car quietly whenever she fell asleep which was  usually around ten at night & i always listened to your instructions on how to follow you because i didn’t want you to be angry with me because you were known to have anger problems & that was one of the reasons you were sent to utah for a year.

you gave cats & sinners feet the path to run into mischief. you gave them wrath & you gave them love leading both to leave you & me wondering where you are now as i sit here writing this. hopefully thinking you’ll be in that little twin sized bed with your cereal & ***** shirts the same way i left you.

you called me the other day, to ask for your textbooks back.
it got me thinking, you know.
i remembered the first time you said hello to me in the Starbucks on 4th street.
the way your ring finger and pinky curled as you waved to me.
it was november 7th.
i didn't see you again until after thanksgiving break.
we had a creative writing class together.
professor calhoon.
he told us that if we were to work together, we would be two of the greatest writers to ever study at Reed.
our first date was december 15th.
we went ice skating and drank horchata.
it had began to snow as you walked me home, where i didn't let you kiss me.
it's been a year and a half and i still remember the way you laughed when i rejected your lips.
you seemed to have no flaws for the first three weeks.
you were perfect to me.
i think i liked they way you made my problems feel. as if they were just a speck on the road map of my life. and just because everything seemed to focus on the moment in time, they weren't as big as i perceived them to be.
you told me you liked the way i bit my lip when i was deep in thought.
when you came to pick up your books i bit my lip to see if you would ask what's wrong. but you didn't. please don't think i'm crazy but i know she doesn't understand you the way i did or the way i do.
i see the way you interact with her in public or when she tries to hold your hand on the train and you refuse. i see the way she gets upset when your deep in thought. do you tell her everything is going to be okay? like how you used to tell me that? when you say that, what do you actually mean? do you mean that when you walk out my door you won't catch the feelings i caught on november 7th?
or maybe you're talking to her about yourself. and saying that everything will be okay with you.
i don't know why i'm pouring my every thought about since i saw you last into your voice mail.
you don't even have to call back or maybe i just called to say i want my textbooks back.

I strive for any sense of sanity my body has left
and you could inject lithium into my bloodstream
all you wanted but that will never take away
the stream of conscious to which I face every **** day.
And I speak these words in a volume only sincere ears
could hone into and leech off of for their own sanity,
but things are never that easy.
Affirmation is like a drug and sanity like a ghost
you get addicted to those things in which
we are not usually accustomed to
that sincerity so comforting it's hard to let go.
Most people do drugs to forget,
but ******* with you,
I want to remember every single moment-
harness it inside my memory and save it as draft
so I can post it to my retinas later that night
when I'm loosing sleep because I cannot rid of the ghosts
I've spent both my night and day fighting off.

I want to crash and burn
I want to live a life like all the crazy poets
and authors and writers that never held dear to their sanity
they embraced their madness and embarked on a journey
throwing away any sense of normalcy they had.

But maybe, I should do as you say
or do as my father says-
ya know,  just deal with my problems on my own.
It's kind of crazy because you both say the same thing
which leads me to believe that women do end up
marrying their fathers which I fear-
more than any other obstacle in my life
because my broken wings were built upon my fathers shoulders
and upon mine is more weight than I can carry,
So i'm sorry you've become a muse for my misplaced sanity
and a drawing board for my dilemmas
but baby, you have not seen dramatic.
Not from me at least and it's not safe for me
to hide this part of myself away from you..
But it's like you want me to.
And one day, oh god one day
I will crack under the pressure placed upon these shoulders
and try to fly with these broken wings
and I will crash and burn like alll those people
and it's then I will realize
that hiding away this part of myself
in spite of everything I know,
will be the best and the worst thing I've ever done.

and I'm so ******* tired,
that tired isn't even the word to describe it,
more like futile or unavailing because
I hide away parts of myself for the ones I love
and they itch to come at the surface like a growing tick
ready to explode distracted by euphoria filling it's stomach.
I am not okay, and I'm kind of tired of acting like it.
I am a ticking time bomb
ready to blow your ******* head off at any second
one you will never be able to disable-
and this, this is manic depression.
I wish it was as beautiful as Hendrix made it seem.

value sweet friendship
be quick to resolve problems
don’t let the sun set




Mark Toney ©️ 2023

I'm a one man army
Running solo cold like the polo
Oh no don't test me ***
**** you slow in a choke hold
Alone droping like a one ton stone
Please check yo mouth
You barking loud?
Leave you dead in the crowd
Like a one hit wonder
Striking down like thunder
Left dead six feet under
So don't mention my name
You can keep all the fame
I'm in the game, with only one aim
To shower down like rain
So everything's getting hit & wet
Now you know what to expect
Shout outz to my nut dweller
Spit you *** out like acapella
Placing you on your knees
Duct tape thick rope no hope
At ease tough mind no sweating
Drilling killing blood spilling
Ripping gripping blood dripping
Torture I introduce my culture
Tie your arms and legs
It's too late to beg
When I'm cutting off both legs
And your arms
They will soon be disarmed
I'm sorry I didn't mean no harm
But I felt threatened
Almost taken, surely mistaken
Keep this in mind
You'll be left behind
What a shameful crime
It's time for coronas & lime
At last, just a thing in the past
I never intended for problems
But it's the only way
I could solve them, toss them
Now I lost them...

Magic Marker Mistakes.
Hop-Scotch Hurts.
Tick-Tack-Toe Troubles.

In the world of the shrewd there was the land of innocence.

Candy Heart Cares.
Playhouse Problems.
Silly String Scars

But the young grow and the innocence dies.
What we had was just a chalk outline of love that washed away with the rain.

Rusty Hinges

The wood showed its age and its time of neglect it creaked open slowly onto the courtyard the
Individual standing there was you or me the time varies from hours days and years our circumstances
Are different but they do flow with a commonality as one being human so many life experiences happen
To us all but controversial identifiable problems make them Taylor made for us as individual and at there
End they are retold with tread that has a universal constant that can mean many things to a lot of
People that in one degree or another applies to us but in the arena of life and its lustful expositions we
Turn and are in tough straits loss slights disappointments fall across our paths as shadows and in them
Are portents of more unknown difficulty no one gives much thought to the quick and vanishing problem
Unless it holds after the fact considerations that will be a continued problematic ongoing occurrence
These are the ones that we will fight a running battle with they tax our resources emotional or financial
Possibly both are effected nerves and stress makes for quiet an ordeal never to treat something in a
Light manner but that is the very success and exit that all desire the quote its darkest just before the
Dawn is in fact infallible truth but take it a step further with purposeful pause call to a halt all the anxiety
The voices silent or audible picture clearly the situation as best as you can see it and as hard and
Unanswerable as it surly is at that moment your need is to garrison your mind behind high walls
Making any thoughts that would enter at least they will be high unattainable thoughts not just
The little thoughts that have no power they only undermine and play to your fears in this haven begin
To undergird and reinforce stress points that are easily identified make the grandest leap of all deface
The diabolical disjointed confusion that has arrested your mind so terribly and scoffs you with the
Central means of attack confusion scatters your will your God given abilities to combat the war like
Ways that are found in life decisions need to made in clear eyed settings that are not similar to a
Volcanic upheaval but the scene should be a table and chair the floor smooth with sensibility the walls
Hung with diplomas and other unquestioned achievements that vouch of steady prolonged success
No matter the undertaking the chair the place and focal point of a fount that bares on and in it a grand
Ancient hall lined with shelves and shelves of books the gathered power of many minds implements and
Symbols that show in deep detail by their very appearance those that have entered here were men of
Gifts and striking abilities that they now gladly share they set around the table awaiting your questions
With answers that disarmed all foes not one loss was found and all this rest on one hinge and that is
Faith rusty of truth but by humble supplication and expectation you polish it to its formidable formable
Brilliance and Excellence burning away all shadows leaving in brightest detail the answers you seek
Nothing comes to your life without attending gifts attached the greater the struggle means in accurate
Measurement of how much growth you can expect

When a project has been abandoned, creators of said project will solve small, irrelevant problems, so as to give themselves an ounce of satisfaction, rather than just solve the problem as a whole.

So I hear,
just today,
in fact,

I'm not certain exactly when it was said,
a reliable source,
NPR,

So, I hear that great wall,
the BIG & beautiful one
on our Southern border,
the one HE wanted to build?

The one he raged about,
& of course,
while it was always preposterous,

Anyway he says,

It can maybe be a fence,
instead.

Oh my ****.

Huh, interesting,

Well, that's not wishy washy,
No,
At all...
solid guy, he is,
& along with all the other rapidly,
changing things,
that he was so very,
passionate about,

And given,
the absolute myriad of obstacles,
from forcing Mexico to pay,
(haha- good one)
yeah,
making Mexico pay,
sure,

By the way,
do you want to work for his immigration?

Cuz' he's gonna need a bunch of new
recruits,
if so,

Not to mention,
workers to survey & complete,
that ridiculous project,
the complex geological complications,
in an interesting terrain,
humph,
indeed,
& the endless wordly implications,
that and so MANY other problems
we face,
far worse,
& BIGGER ones too,

Seriously,
check it out,
it would literally take,
FOREVER to build,
true narcissism,
exists,
apparently,

Though,
he might have single-handedly stopped illegal immigration by being elected.

Mission accomplished?

Do you wanna come live in the U.S. now?

Hahaha,
So stupid,
not REALLY funny,
still good to laugh,

This?

This is who we elected?
were we ALL high,
on propaganda?

God help us in times of war.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

I was reading a dating profile...

"I wish I could find someone normal"
She says

I'm normal
I'm heternormal
Heterosexual
Young, Male, Middle class, White, Just normal
Not a minority - too normal
No label - just normal
People see me and just think "normal"
Too normal
I don't stand out - Abnormally normal

"Someone fun but normal"
She says

I'm fun
I'm funny
I'm a fun guy
With a toe covered in fungi
Your clothes would get flung high
While I passed on my fungi
I jest
I'm not just fun like a normal guy
I'm the best
I don't think or act like every guy
I'm a bit different I guess, to other guys
But I'm normal

"Why are there so many freaks?"
She says

I'm not a freak
I'm unique
I'm kind of a geek
I like antiques
I'm confident - I'm just meek
I'm slim, but I'm not weak
I draw and paint every week
I over critique
I go to this group where we speak
So, I'm different, but I'm normal... If you know what I mean.

"There must be one guy out there who hasn't got any problems??"
She says

I've not got a problem
I tend to overcome 'em
I take them down; I hobble 'em
Until it's not a problem
Give me risks and I gobble 'em
Solutions - I can cobble 'em
Unless I'm hurt - That can be a problem
It throws me off my thread
It gets stuck in my head
It throws me off my thread
I lose track of what I was thinking
"Why did she say that?"
It throws me off my thread
"That's not me is it?"
It gets stuck in my head
"Why do they think that?"
It throws me off my thread
"Am I meant to change?!"
It gets stuck in my head
"I don't want to be that anyway!!"
It throws me off my thread
"Why are we all meant to act the same?!"
It gets stuck in my head
"What's wrong with discussing it?"
It throws me off my thread
"I don't understand!"
It gets stuck in my head
"I want to know why you think that!"
It throws me off my thread
"Just *******!"

Next profile reads
"I'm looking for someone different. Let's take time and get to know each other."

I need to stop over thinking stuff.

All nutrients stopped our connection is lost, dead flowers on show it's cost has grown old.
The shell still shines but insides seem so rotten, are problems afoot now foundations have gone?
Invested energy transferred in a team to entertain, the state of fans patience often the last to remain, others in charge soon slip down to be replaced.

Restrictions enrooted are cause for concern, training affirmed to restart from step one, whilst some mistakes are made to be learnt from. The clarity of a curtain call can affect us all, when feeling the woe at the end of this game, no one likes to be played with in poor taste.

Captured in the psych ward part 8




You see after Martin Kelly's sister arrived at the hospital to pick up her
Brother's body and take him back with her to England,,Robert had a sleepless
Night, and decided to go out and watch the TV cause he was too ****** bored
And he had a lot on his mind, you know, really Robery wanted to go,,and being
A kid, he didn't know much about respect and Kate came out and said, would
You fucken turn this TV down, it is keeping me up all night, and Robert told Kate
To *******, and Ron just got up out of bed after getting a phone call from his
Grandson Billy, who was 12 Years old and coming to stay this weekend, which
Is 2 days away, and work was so tight, he really couldn't get time off, but he did
Have some extra over time credits he could use, but Ron liked to use them on
Big holidays, but having his grandson come over, is a big holiday, so he went into
Work today, like normal, go to the cafe talk to the Fran and dan, and today's topic
Was about families, mainly because Ron said his grandson billy was coming in 3 days
And Fran said she had 2 kids, no grandkids, and Dan, said that she has 1 son named
Bill, who was 12, and every night, bill runs around me and my hubby all time and then
Ron said, well my grandson is 11, how about we meet, over the weekend, and both of our kids can meet each other, and Dan said, ok if you were living in a run down property
In the middle of the Victorian alps, I would love you to come and Ron, these are modern times, why the **** are you in a run down property for, you should be getting heaps of
Money from this cafe and dan said, well, you would think so, wouldn't you, but my dad
Wanted me and the kids to live with him, I have to get my family up at 4-00 in the morning
To get here on time, and Ron said, life is a *****, well, we can meet at my place, you are
An adult, well yes, said Dan, I will let you know, and then Dan went to the HDU to check on his patients and he was told that Robert has been sitting watching TV all night, and
He hasn't had breakfast, maybe we should see to have him released, I don't think he very
Well, and he might be under suicide watch, he is too young for this place and Ron said, ok
I will have a word with him, so he went over to Robert and said Robbie what's up and Robert said, well, I have been in here too long, and the patients are too weird, like that stupid phoney that arrived here at 3 this morning, who sat next to me, and Ron curious about what Robert was saying, said, who was this phoney, and he was this was man who had the hood type jacket and blue and white canterbury bulldogs shorts and Ron said, he
Is the night time volunteer who works here at night, to look after younger people like yourself, if they can't sleep, to make them feel better, and Robert said, maybe, if I knew that, I might not have been so rude, now thanks to you I feel worst, no he ain't allowed to
Say he is a volunteer, cause, he is there for you guys, but, he ain't allowed to ignore you
For being rude either, ok I will have this dude look after you in the future, and Robert said,
No you fucken ****, I want out of this hell hole, this is clearly not working for me and
Ron spent the day trying to find out what is wrong with Robert, while the nurses handled
The medication, and Ron said, I really think this boy isn't ill, so we shouldn't push drugs down him, and Naomi suddenly came out saying, we are captured captured captured
Us young dudes have been captured in the psych ward today, Naomi and Robert and
Ron came out and tried to settle naomi down but this was hard, and Naomi was still refusing medication. And the staff because of this still say she is threat to people around her, and when Ron had finished talking to Robert, he had a few words with brad, as well
As Susan and Pete. And mind you Pete was having a lot of problems and yes Ron took
His time off to look after his grandson and, said he won't be back till Wednesday of next
Week, and Robert and Naomi were sitting there watching TV together, and patty came out
Saying that he missed the plane to Washington dc and needs a private jet, and said, can I go on the Internet, to book myself on one and the nurses, said, you can't expect a free ride
And the doctor said, ok patty roe, sit down and I will make you a hot chocolate and patty
Roe said, neh, I need to get to the white house, I am meeting Obama and the doctor said
Here is the medication that is right for you at the moment, go to your bed, and relax, cause
This place is close to prison, ya can't expect a free ride here and Susan said, yeah, you will
Never get a free ride to the states in your situation ya **** and Ron went home, to get the
House ready for his grandson, and he is off work till Wednesday he is happy and
He visited the cafe and told Fran and Dan that he will bring his grandson in


Sent from my iPad

I had  some problems  im going to be away for a while
Gonna miss you my friends
Just writing this to say goodbye

Want to play a game?
You know that one where,
The first person to break a heart wins.

The one where our anxiety is so bad,
We think that if we stay in bed all day,
That'll wash our problems away.

The one where the crippling pressure that still lingers from school,
Is killing you in college,
And you don't know how to tell anyone.

Want to play a game?
You know that one where,
We place a gun to our heads,
Count to three... then press the trigger.

Every time we meet
I feel like I need disinfectant.
Every time we talk,
I feel like I need to talk to the father and ask for redemption.
Every time I see you,
I want to close them shut and never wake up.
You ****** me over too many times before.
You seem to think that you can move me like a *****.
Well,
I'm not your little **** boi
You think you have such power,
***** you're nothing to me
I wish I could find
this thing you made me lose inside.
I wish I could forget
there ever was an us
Because I like it much better
just being alone.
Away from you.
You are infected,
evil,
and a nervous wreck.
Someone needs to get you a life,
lord knows you can't do it on your own.
just talking about you makes me crave lysol.
Look,
I'm sorry to be bashing on you,
but this is necessary
in order to forget
everything you ever were
You call me a ******,
but honey,
I've been called WAY worse.
I've been called your boyfriend.
And that beats any sting you can inflict.
You are the lowest of the low,
Im glad I was able to get away
cuz *****,
I wouldn't wish you upon my greatest enemy.
I seriously need to see a shrink
after you.
You caused me so many problems.
I kept going back.
how could I be so dumb?
Answer
because you made me believe you loved me,
only to drop me like a sack of bricks
I have finally gotten over you.
But the disgust still lingers
I would shake your hand and say goodbye,
*but then I'd need to buy more disinfectant

No you don't wanna **** wit me mane..
No you don't wanna mess with my team.
No you don't wanna **** wit my gang
No you don't wanna **** wit me mane..
Aye..(no you don't 9)...

(No you don't wanna **** wit me mane..
No you don't
No you don't wanna mess with my team.
No you don't
No you don't wanna **** wit my gang
No you don't wanna **** wit me mane..
/No you don't2/..Aye..No you don't )2

No you don't..Yeah..you ******* don't want nothing wit me mane, no you don't..I'll tell yall straight up one wrong move then its (bang2)..to yo dome, & I ain't wit gun violence mane, I believe in a fair one on one,  but if one fight then we all fighting that's just the rules of my gang homie, Aye none of these stank ******* is getting a dime from me, no they won't..no these major labels won't use me like a dummy,.. no they won't..Aye
I'm creating new waves like Jonesboro beach, Only For The Real Entertainment, theres only one real one mane & that's me,Uhh..I'm not soning none of these ******* so don't claim me to be..Aye, Yeah mane..No you don't wanna **** wit me lames Aye, just stay away..its gonna be alot of problems if you do **** wit me mane, so please don't play wit me, I'm saying that nicely, don't try me, because you don't wanna fight me..(no you don't4)..,aye I'll take yo **, & **** her just like Tupac did Faith  then feature dat ***** on a song wit me..Uhh,Yeah boss player status *****..Ayo..I gotta stay pimping, Never simping..
Noo I don't trust these **'s my *****, I learned that from Snoop man..Ayo

The game should never be sold just told, & Noo I ain't just selling dreams I'm blessing the streets..Yeah dawg, Uhh, I gotta get my bread up dude like a Sara Lee truck stocking up, so noo I can't pay attention to all these **** ******, &  I can't pay attention to all of these thristy ***** **'s Noo.. young *****...I'm on go,no slo mo,OFTR, work fast pace like a crack ****** in a race, mane..Aye.
OFTR, we made it to our destination, even tho the Feds was steady watching me plotting tryna stop my plans to succed,..We still prosper, mane..Yeah we still prospering, Thank God, we made it to the the top, Yeah ***** we in the sky, We so high..We so fly.., like a Jet, in stealth mode, we came outta no where guns blazing destroying anything in our way man..Aye man
**** being famous mane, I hustle tryna attain wealth, yeah I rather be rich than famous shoutout to the north side thugs man..Uhh..

(No you don't wanna **** wit me mane..
No you don't
No you don't wanna mess with my team.
No you don't
No you don't wanna **** wit my gang
No you don't wanna **** wit me mane..
/No you don't2/..Aye..No you don't )2


Aye..(no you don't16)..
Aye.., I always knew that I was gonna be big dawg, Yeah I was a star way before stardom,Yeah..in my mind I was living like I already dun made it to the big leagues man, that's how you should think too..Yeah I was a Rockstar way before I was rocking alot of stages..yeah Imma professional at this , Aye man..these other ****** had music out way before I did, but they still under me,no competition, they so amateur, Yeah I'm way ahead of all of them busters..
They suckers , literally my *****..Aye,Yeah..

Uhh, **** being patient, chase after yo attractions full speed, ****** gonna hate always especially when you tryna do better mane, **** em..forget em, let the hate just motivate you Yeah..keep yo head up do what ever that you gotta do to feed yo fam, but don't be a ***** *** made *****  *** *****, be your own boss, Yeah build up your own corporation & teach others the ways of becoming a boss player too man..
Yeah..
I been dreaming & thinking about my future , & I know its much brighter than the present is mane, I'll be so grateful when I can finally live in it homie,..Uhh I'm staying up all night I'm just too excited for it, like Christmas morning so Imma keep putting more work in, Aye..versatile lyrics Yeah man they say practice makes perfect well I'm a good example of it..yo, I  thought of these lyrics not on purpose but subconsciously my *****, Uhh Imma g, a genius,...Yeah mane

No you don't wanna **** wit me mane..
No you don't wanna mess with my team.
No you don't wanna **** wit my gang
No you don't wanna **** wit me mane..
Aye..(no you don't 9)...

(No you don't wanna **** wit me mane..
No you don't
No you don't wanna mess with my team.
No you don't
No you don't wanna **** wit my gang
No you don't wanna **** wit me mane..
/No you don't2/..Aye..No you don't )*2
(no you don't *16)...