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"pensively" poems
Out here in the fields of the distance whither the wind blows the silence further afield; roughhewn footprints show a windswept pathway   from whence feral feet lightly trod    Only the passing whispers chase after the gypsy wind: that the silence be in quire, placed aloft like a sigh, pealing through the gentle sway of sweet grass' hush There are no walls need echo an evanescent wind-song as each breath of earthen psalm vanishes lilting into the crystalline quietude colour; The callused patience still held in these hands is frayed and tattered, but hope heals stronger than a ream of paper wings to fly away And I'm mindful I'm not alone again, lost in a lingering silent storm — pensively listening — enraptured aneath all the big skies hold                       Jesse Stillwater
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Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 12:44 PM UTC
Out here in the distance
*in the midst of an emerald slumbering forest laced with pungent scents of jaded wood a burgundy blushed tail of a chestnut hued fox scurries as copper sunbeams part the day a hospital lumes starkly nearby its aura exudes hints of melancholy commingled with faint impressions of halcyon futures not yet lived at neighboring dartmouth a student sprinting to class drops his crimson colored backpack the prospect of cancer far from his budding consciousness my beloved sits patiently pondering pensively his last chemo treatment elusion of death not far from his mind i feign to fend off future catastrophes watching letters scramble across my screen earnestly writing in a desperate attempt to be with him forevermore an aquamarine hummingbird drenched in tranquility senses the inverse its amber tipped wings stand seemingly stationary while it steals a quick glance through the window curious at chemical infusions meant to heal my beloved walks out of the austere building with rose colored glasses i feel that we’ll whirl on the tips of gilded stardust dancing with another chance to fly ©2016janetaylor
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Apr 30, 2016
Apr 30, 2016 at 1:19 AM UTC
last trip to chemo
Sapphire drops of moonlight bounced off her umbrella and a cool, smoky mist escaped her crimson lips every once and so often.There she stood alone, on a loud, bright and miserable winters’ night. Pensively gazing over the glistening city streets before her. Echoes of light gleamed from the windows of bars and cafes. Reflections of lover’s kisses melted in a cold November rain. Live music, laughter, conversation! O what a cheerful sight is the city at night, for all but one this evening. Such striking acts of delight and love did nothing but depress her. This loner longs to stand with the pack and live her life, instead of merely existing. She is the Steppenwolf of her time. Unwanted and alone. And much like the original Steppenwolf, she gives and cares for others very much like family. Alas, despite her best efforts, she could never fit in. And perhaps, never will.
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Nov 3, 2015
Nov 3, 2015 at 7:51 AM UTC
Loner
I'm glad he left me in a Window by the Sea See I had forgotten to Be Truer to Myself than he. And now, drowning in misery, I never seem to feel happy. So it's a relief to stare pensively Through this Window by the Sea, and observe how mesmerizing and brighter my reflection is, Without He who stood beside Me.
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Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 2:28 PM UTC
A Window by the Sea
Sitting on an ancient bench In the doleful forgotten world. Some cratures pensively rush by No words no sole glimpse Do they even know Where they are Or where they go? I am being in the moment Hearing the nature's whisper It's a blessing moment for all But those hasty creatures Just slow for a moment And turn your ears to this call You live in a forgotten world If you forget what is around you And you didn't even know Why you only just pass through?
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Sep 27, 2014
Sep 27, 2014 at 8:14 AM UTC
Forgotten world
(From a Persian Carpet) Ash and strewments, the first moth-wings, pale Ardour of brief evenings, on the fecund wind; Or all a wing, less than wind, Breath of low herbs upfloats, petal or wing, Haunting the musk precincts of burial. For the season of newer riches moves triumphing, Of the evanescence of deaths. These potpourris Earth-tinctured, jet insect-bead, cinder of bloom— How weigh while a great summer knows increase, Ceaselessly risen, what there entombs?— Of candour fallen from the slight stems of Mays, Corrupt of the rim a blue shades, pensively: So a fatigue of wishes will young eyes. And brightened, unpurged eyes of revery, now Not to glance to fabulous groves again! For now deep presence is, and binds its close, And closes down the wreathed alleys escape of sighs. And now rich time is weaving, hidden tree, The fable of orient threads from bough to bough. Old rinded wood, whose lissomeness within Has reached from nothing to its covering These many corymbs’ flourish!—And the green Shells which wait amber, breathing, wrought Towards the still trance of summer’s centering, Motives by ravished humble fingers set, Each in a noon of its own infinite. And here is leant the branch and its repose of the deep leaf to the pilgrim plume. Repose, Inflections brilliant and mute of the voyager, light! And here the nests, and freshet throats resume Notes over and over found, names For the silvery ascensions of joy. Nothing is here But moss and its bells now of the root’s night; But the beetle’s bower, and arc from grass to grass For the flight in gauze. Now its fresh lair, Grass-deep, nestles the cool eft to stir Vague newborn limbs, and the bud’s dark winding has Access of day. Now on the subtle noon Time’s image, at pause with being, labours free Of all its charge, for each in coverts laid, Of clement kind; and everlastingly, In some elision of bright moments is known, Changed wide as Eden, the branch whose silence sways Dazzle of the murmurous leaves to continual tone; Its separations, sighing to own again Being of the ignorant wish; and sways to sight, Waked from it nighted, the marvelous foundlings of light; Risen and weaving from the ceaseless root A divine ease whispers toward fruitfulness, While all a summer’s conscience tempts the fruit.
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2.6k
The Summer Image
(From a Persian Carpet) Ash and strewments, the first moth-wings, pale Ardour of brief evenings, on the fecund wind; Or all a wing, less than wind, Breath of low herbs upfloats, petal or wing, Haunting the musk precincts of burial. For the season of newer riches moves triumphing, Of the evanescence of deaths. These potpourris Earth-tinctured, jet insect-bead, cinder of bloom— How weigh while a great summer knows increase, Ceaselessly risen, what there entombs?— Of candour fallen from the slight stems of Mays, Corrupt of the rim a blue shades, pensively: So a fatigue of wishes will young eyes. And brightened, unpurged eyes of revery, now Not to glance to fabulous groves again! For now deep presence is, and binds its close, And closes down the wreathed alleys escape of sighs. And now rich time is weaving, hidden tree, The fable of orient threads from bough to bough. Old rinded wood, whose lissomeness within Has reached from nothing to its covering These many corymbs’ flourish!—And the green Shells which wait amber, breathing, wrought Towards the still trance of summer’s centering, Motives by ravished humble fingers set, Each in a noon of its own infinite. And here is leant the branch and its repose of the deep leaf to the pilgrim plume. Repose, Inflections brilliant and mute of the voyager, light! And here the nests, and freshet throats resume Notes over and over found, names For the silvery ascensions of joy. Nothing is here But moss and its bells now of the root’s night; But the beetle’s bower, and arc from grass to grass For the flight in gauze. Now its fresh lair, Grass-deep, nestles the cool eft to stir Vague newborn limbs, and the bud’s dark winding has Access of day. Now on the subtle noon Time’s image, at pause with being, labours free Of all its charge, for each in coverts laid, Of clement kind; and everlastingly, In some elision of bright moments is known, Changed wide as Eden, the branch whose silence sways Dazzle of the murmurous leaves to continual tone; Its separations, sighing to own again Being of the ignorant wish; and sways to sight, Waked from it nighted, the marvelous foundlings of light; Risen and weaving from the ceaseless root A divine ease whispers toward fruitfulness, While all a summer’s conscience tempts the fruit.
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51
I poured out every thought upon the page, Filling it up with all the rage and anger, That you have instilled inside me. My pen literally quivered, As I held it in my sweaty hand, Yet the words flowed swiftly, As venomous as any snake, And almost as deadly. As I poured the last of the wine into my glass, I reviewed my handiwork. Three pages of anger. Three pages of hurt. An expression of all you’ve done to me, As best as I possibly could. I carefully folded the letter, And stuffed it in the envelope. And with quivering pen, I wrote out your address. It was late, and I’d post it in the morning. I went off to bed that night. The next day I spent quietly around the house. It was cold outside, And it was warm by the fire. In the afternoon, I opened another bottle of wine. I sat pensively for some time, Just watching the flames dance Upon the logs in the fireplace. Amidst the crackling of the timbers, I picked up the envelope. I stare down at your name upon it. I take another sip of wine, And remove the letter. As I begin to read it again, I am reminded of everything you’ve ever done. All the hurt you’ve caused, To myself and my family, Comes back again over three pages. My blood starts to boil again, And my palms start to sweat. There is a damp thumbprint on the page, And the edges of the letter are damp and frayed, From holding it tightly in my hands. I lean back in my chair. I know I am not ready to forgive. I don’t know that I ever will be. And God knows I will never forget. In fact, I hope you rot in Hell, And if I could deliver you there myself, Lord knows, I would. But, I can never stoop to your level. I can never stoop to your level. I sit for some time just watching the fire. In a while, I pick up the letter, And walk over to the fireplace. I toss it upon the flames. I sit back down and sip my wine. And as I watch the letter burn, The sparks crackling, And the black soot fall upon the logs, I know I can never stoop to your level, But, there’s a part of me that says to myself, “God, I wish that letter were you.” 11-07-11.
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Jan 15, 2012
Jan 15, 2012 at 1:41 AM UTC
The Letter
I poured out every thought upon the page, Filling it up with all the rage and anger, That you have instilled inside me. My pen literally quivered, As I held it in my sweaty hand, Yet the words flowed swiftly, As venomous as any snake, And almost as deadly. As I poured the last of the wine into my glass, I reviewed my handiwork. Three pages of anger. Three pages of hurt. An expression of all you’ve done to me, As best as I possibly could. I carefully folded the letter, And stuffed it in the envelope. And with quivering pen, I wrote out your address. It was late, and I’d post it in the morning. I went off to bed that night. The next day I spent quietly around the house. It was cold outside, And it was warm by the fire. In the afternoon, I opened another bottle of wine. I sat pensively for some time, Just watching the flames dance Upon the logs in the fireplace. Amidst the crackling of the timbers, I picked up the envelope. I stare down at your name upon it. I take another sip of wine, And remove the letter. As I begin to read it again, I am reminded of everything you’ve ever done. All the hurt you’ve caused, To myself and my family, Comes back again over three pages. My blood starts to boil again, And my palms start to sweat. There is a damp thumbprint on the page, And the edges of the letter are damp and frayed, From holding it tightly in my hands. I lean back in my chair. I know I am not ready to forgive. I don’t know that I ever will be. And God knows I will never forget. In fact, I hope you rot in Hell, And if I could deliver you there myself, Lord knows, I would. But, I can never stoop to your level. I can never stoop to your level. I sit for some time just watching the fire. In a while, I pick up the letter, And walk over to the fireplace. I toss it upon the flames. I sit back down and sip my wine. And as I watch the letter burn, The sparks crackling, And the black soot fall upon the logs, I know I can never stoop to your level, But, there’s a part of me that says to myself, “God, I wish that letter were you.” 11-07-11.
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64
Dancing on the edge of the horizon A sea breeze looks for love You watch pensively, A paintbrush in your hand Your feet soaking in painted waters And you, Encapsulated by the freedom of the wind, That you have only seen in your dreams, you fall in love with life all over again
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Dec 30, 2020
Dec 30, 2020 at 6:17 PM UTC
Sea Breeze
SHY one, Shy one, Shy one of my heart, She moves in the firelight pensively apart. She carries in the dishes, And lays them in a row. To an isle in the water With her would I go. With catries in the candles, And lights the curtained room, Shy in the doorway And shy in the gloom; And shy as a rabbit, Helpful and shy. To an isle in the water With her would I fly.
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To An Isle In The Water
The windowsill frames each passing morning It speaks in a language only stillness hears its say Anchored to the wooden studs of fortress walls that bind solitude, enduring all that autumn's curtain call unveils Distant towering evergreens look back with taller eyes   than yesteryear As these timeworn eyes look beyond and wonder why    they've not grown of age — Time passes away so quickly while waiting for season's change — and I, wistfully dreaming how the trees bear the weight of the sky Fog lays below the fir boughs, blanketing the drowsy near valley fields Where deep roots repose in the clay of truth that swaddles all abiding mother earth    carves in stone — A monument to all forbearance, just a mortal human could never hold Pensively envious how long they hold their eminence, patiently suspended beneath the nimbus rafters stay; remaining transfixed without a ray of sunlight — searchingly leaning   into each fleeting  moment of unclouded sight harlon rivers
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Nov 5, 2019
Nov 5, 2019 at 1:11 PM UTC
Autumn's curtain call
Hello It's nice to see you Across the room with your chin on your hand Quietly listening, pensively waiting For the time to end On my end no thought is given Ok, Maybe a glance from time to time, I must admit "What do you know about him? He doesn't seem too bad." Hello Its nice to meet you This time in a different way I make jokes and laugh it off But I'm starting to notice more and more often That I'm asking questions and talking more than I'd like Just so you can look up and see me Just see me, that's all I want I haven't been like this in over four years I forgot how this felt and why I waited so long to feel like this again Hello It's nice to speak to you for the first time since I first saw you I pick up my spilled bag early so I can run out with the bell Through the hallway on the opposite of my next class like I do everyday And everyday I wonder if I should say something; "Did we have any homework?" And you would answer But I say nothing And I always wish I did Hello I'd like to tell you So many things that I know I never will I never thought I'd pray for small talk Yet here I am being put on hold One conversation, one laugh that I produced is all I want! I just don't know how to get it Hello If it's okay with you Let's go somewhere alone and pretend to be people we're not Hello hello If she's the one for you That's fine but let the verdict be close Second place is fine But I'd like to be in the running Hello hello hello The things I thought were true Don't hold up like they used to You don't have to play guitar Your job doesn't have to be a dream Everything new I learn is suddenly fine by me Hello hello hello hello I'd like to be to you A classmate A partner A colleague An old friend If that's what you need me to be Just please Don't let me be a stranger
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Apr 3, 2017
Apr 3, 2017 at 12:22 AM UTC
Hello;
Hello It's nice to see you Across the room with your chin on your hand Quietly listening, pensively waiting For the time to end On my end no thought is given Ok, Maybe a glance from time to time, I must admit "What do you know about him? He doesn't seem too bad." Hello Its nice to meet you This time in a different way I make jokes and laugh it off But I'm starting to notice more and more often That I'm asking questions and talking more than I'd like Just so you can look up and see me Just see me, that's all I want I haven't been like this in over four years I forgot how this felt and why I waited so long to feel like this again Hello It's nice to speak to you for the first time since I first saw you I pick up my spilled bag early so I can run out with the bell Through the hallway on the opposite of my next class like I do everyday And everyday I wonder if I should say something; "Did we have any homework?" And you would answer But I say nothing And I always wish I did Hello I'd like to tell you So many things that I know I never will I never thought I'd pray for small talk Yet here I am being put on hold One conversation, one laugh that I produced is all I want! I just don't know how to get it Hello If it's okay with you Let's go somewhere alone and pretend to be people we're not Hello hello If she's the one for you That's fine but let the verdict be close Second place is fine But I'd like to be in the running Hello hello hello The things I thought were true Don't hold up like they used to You don't have to play guitar Your job doesn't have to be a dream Everything new I learn is suddenly fine by me Hello hello hello hello I'd like to be to you A classmate A partner A colleague An old friend If that's what you need me to be Just please Don't let me be a stranger
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62
April this year, not otherwise Than April of a year ago, Is full of whispers, full of sighs, Of dazzling mud and dingy snow; Hepaticas that pleased you so Are here again, and butterflies. There rings a hammering all day, And shingles lie about the doors; In orchards near and far away The grey wood-pecker taps and bores; The men are merry at their chores, And children earnest at their play. The larger streams run still and deep, Noisy and swift the small brooks run Among the mullein stalks the sheep Go up the hillside in the sun, Pensively,—only you are gone, You that alone I cared to keep.
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Song Of A Second April
#*The Violin’s azure strings wept softly, from inside of a mind made cell; musical echoes lamenting, a poignant abyss too vast to fill each and all silenced reverie, leaving the philosopher’s stone                                           unthrown Blue guitar minor chord changes, bent notes phrasing sharps and flats; memories ―      gently weeping confirmation as a repressed flow of soul pensively leaks out The spirit's currents eddy suffused within written verve; silently purging the soul's fountains ―                                     musical rivulets swell                                      quietly overflowing                               an alchemist’s soul unfurled*...         © harlon rivers ... all rights reserved
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Sep 15, 2016
Sep 15, 2016 at 9:17 PM UTC
The Azure Violin
*Walking meekly in the shadows, avoiding nakedness, this vestibule of self-preserving isolation, my 'padded cell', has become my buffer against the raging tide of life. This makeshift home has no place for exaggerated emotions. Nothing comes in and nothing goes out; always the safest option for the perfect existence. The gatekeeper controls all activity. Shock, pain and denial brought me to this desolate place, watching myself, the outsider looking in, as my soul was ***** abuse was the joker who played a hand in this game of cards. How easy it's been to sit back and pretend to myself and the world that I'm satisfied with all that life is offering. who was I trying to convince? No I. So many times I wished I could undo the done, turning back time to where earthly utopia was intact, escaping this cage, running carefree like an innocent child on a first new adventure The hurt child lays dormant, but her will does not die, she beckons and teases me to test my toes in the strong currents of life's raging tides, seeking out its throng. She reminds me of a halcyon era of innocence, before laughter and confidence eluded me. A time when I played, thinking only of the day. Friendship, acceptance and self discovery have healed me. Trusting my inner child, I gently turn the key, unlocking, tentatively. I feel alive, seeing the light so bright and inviting. Choosing freedom, pensively, I take one last look at my dwelling place giving thanks for the sanctuary she offered me, taking my first baby steps back into society. Carried on the swirls of the tide to wherever they take me, I am now Mistress of my own destiny. Rebirth*
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Feb 14, 2013
Feb 14, 2013 at 11:05 AM UTC
~ Past life ~
*Walking meekly in the shadows, avoiding nakedness, this vestibule of self-preserving isolation, my 'padded cell', has become my buffer against the raging tide of life. This makeshift home has no place for exaggerated emotions. Nothing comes in and nothing goes out; always the safest option for the perfect existence. The gatekeeper controls all activity. Shock, pain and denial brought me to this desolate place, watching myself, the outsider looking in, as my soul was ***** abuse was the joker who played a hand in this game of cards. How easy it's been to sit back and pretend to myself and the world that I'm satisfied with all that life is offering. who was I trying to convince? No I. So many times I wished I could undo the done, turning back time to where earthly utopia was intact, escaping this cage, running carefree like an innocent child on a first new adventure The hurt child lays dormant, but her will does not die, she beckons and teases me to test my toes in the strong currents of life's raging tides, seeking out its throng. She reminds me of a halcyon era of innocence, before laughter and confidence eluded me. A time when I played, thinking only of the day. Friendship, acceptance and self discovery have healed me. Trusting my inner child, I gently turn the key, unlocking, tentatively. I feel alive, seeing the light so bright and inviting. Choosing freedom, pensively, I take one last look at my dwelling place giving thanks for the sanctuary she offered me, taking my first baby steps back into society. Carried on the swirls of the tide to wherever they take me, I am now Mistress of my own destiny. Rebirth*
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*Time...a puzzle    to realists and surrealists alike Time...a puzzle    of grand pieces     obvious if obtuse      obtrusive and obstructive    laboriously laid to waste     constructing a picture of existence      solid yet stolid Time...a puzzle    of fine pieces     subtle if sharp      spacious and serene    pensively placed at random     culminating in a mosaic of life       fragmented yet feeling Time...a puzzle of pieces    contained within a box    ...or...    in a different dimension altogether...*
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Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 12:37 AM UTC
Especially Relative
I Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos Lived on the top of the wall, For twenty years, a month and a day, Till their hair had grown all pearly gray, And their teeth began to fall. They never were ill, or at all dejected, By all admired, and by some respected, Till Mrs. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'It has just come into my head, 'We have no more room at all-- 'Darling Mr. Discobbolos II 'Look at our six fine boys! 'And our six sweet girls so fair! 'Upon this wall they have all been born, 'And not one of the twelve has happened to fall 'Through my maternal care! 'Surely they should not pass their lives 'Without any chance of husbands or wives!' And Mrs. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'Did it never come into your head 'That our lives must be lived elsewhere, 'Dearest Mr. Discobbolos? III 'They have never been at a ball, 'Nor have ever seen a bazaar! 'Nor have heard folks say in a tone all hearty "What loves of girls (at a garden party) Those Misses Discobbolos are!" 'Morning and night it drives me wild 'To think of the fate of each darling child!' But Mr. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'What has come to your fiddledum head! 'What a runcible goose you are! 'Octopod Mrs. Discobbolos!' IV Suddenly Mr. Discobbolos Slid from the top of the wall; And beneath it he dug a dreadful trench, And fille it with dynamite, gunpowder gench, And aloud he began to call-- 'Let the wild bee sing, 'And the blue bird hum! 'For the end of our lives has certainly come!' And Mrs. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'We shall presently all be dead, 'On this ancient runcible wall, 'Terrible Mr. Discobbolos!' V Pensively, Mr. Discobbolos Sat with his back to the wall; He lighted a match, and fired the train, And the mortified mountain echoed again To the sound of an awful fall! And all the Discobbolos family flew In thousands of bits to the sky so blue, And no one was left to have said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'Has it come into anyone's head 'That the end has happened to all 'Of the whole of the Clan Discobbolos?'
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Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos - Second Part
I Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos Lived on the top of the wall, For twenty years, a month and a day, Till their hair had grown all pearly gray, And their teeth began to fall. They never were ill, or at all dejected, By all admired, and by some respected, Till Mrs. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'It has just come into my head, 'We have no more room at all-- 'Darling Mr. Discobbolos II 'Look at our six fine boys! 'And our six sweet girls so fair! 'Upon this wall they have all been born, 'And not one of the twelve has happened to fall 'Through my maternal care! 'Surely they should not pass their lives 'Without any chance of husbands or wives!' And Mrs. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'Did it never come into your head 'That our lives must be lived elsewhere, 'Dearest Mr. Discobbolos? III 'They have never been at a ball, 'Nor have ever seen a bazaar! 'Nor have heard folks say in a tone all hearty "What loves of girls (at a garden party) Those Misses Discobbolos are!" 'Morning and night it drives me wild 'To think of the fate of each darling child!' But Mr. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'What has come to your fiddledum head! 'What a runcible goose you are! 'Octopod Mrs. Discobbolos!' IV Suddenly Mr. Discobbolos Slid from the top of the wall; And beneath it he dug a dreadful trench, And fille it with dynamite, gunpowder gench, And aloud he began to call-- 'Let the wild bee sing, 'And the blue bird hum! 'For the end of our lives has certainly come!' And Mrs. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'We shall presently all be dead, 'On this ancient runcible wall, 'Terrible Mr. Discobbolos!' V Pensively, Mr. Discobbolos Sat with his back to the wall; He lighted a match, and fired the train, And the mortified mountain echoed again To the sound of an awful fall! And all the Discobbolos family flew In thousands of bits to the sky so blue, And no one was left to have said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'Has it come into anyone's head 'That the end has happened to all 'Of the whole of the Clan Discobbolos?'
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She was always the other woman, flowers in her hair, cascading down her back freckles covering, porcelain skin, cupids bow, painted dark red, hair strawberry blonde vintage fashion of Henry a la Pensée, envelope chemise, peignoir, blue iris mink fur shoulders forward, rain splintering, bare legs, André Perugia shoe, one lost amidst the cobbles favourite novel in arm, to read, as she contemplates her choice, Gertrude Stein; Fernhurst oh how can one author write ones heart so articulately she thought so pensively, the other women spring blossom blown away as a puff of pink smoke, a thief in the night, racing past the library the winding stair case, the oh so fabulous and opulent parties, laughter and cocktails the tower in sight, a beating of an empty heart, lovers lost, a baby once nurtured taken, those back street black market abortion clinics, she'd never recovered she shivered, the time was now, black streaks of mascara, tragedy, loss, pain the tower was in reach, she gazed upwards, it was near to midnight, perfect, she thought, the exact time she lost her sister off this same tower, both plunging to their deaths, love broken, hearts kidnapped nowhere in sight the game was about to begin, her happiness quashed, every hour, the motions run dreaming of the afterlife, sedated by drink, she waited it out, effortlessly thinking, what now, with a kick of the last shoe, a stumble to the edge, she fell, like a graced angel in flight devoured by the night. © Sia Jane -- “I too am convinced that life is dark, and at the same time I love life.” Simone de Beauvoir
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Jan 27, 2014
Jan 27, 2014 at 1:27 PM UTC
Parisian Night
She was always the other woman, flowers in her hair, cascading down her back freckles covering, porcelain skin, cupids bow, painted dark red, hair strawberry blonde vintage fashion of Henry a la Pensée, envelope chemise, peignoir, blue iris mink fur shoulders forward, rain splintering, bare legs, André Perugia shoe, one lost amidst the cobbles favourite novel in arm, to read, as she contemplates her choice, Gertrude Stein; Fernhurst oh how can one author write ones heart so articulately she thought so pensively, the other women spring blossom blown away as a puff of pink smoke, a thief in the night, racing past the library the winding stair case, the oh so fabulous and opulent parties, laughter and cocktails the tower in sight, a beating of an empty heart, lovers lost, a baby once nurtured taken, those back street black market abortion clinics, she'd never recovered she shivered, the time was now, black streaks of mascara, tragedy, loss, pain the tower was in reach, she gazed upwards, it was near to midnight, perfect, she thought, the exact time she lost her sister off this same tower, both plunging to their deaths, love broken, hearts kidnapped nowhere in sight the game was about to begin, her happiness quashed, every hour, the motions run dreaming of the afterlife, sedated by drink, she waited it out, effortlessly thinking, what now, with a kick of the last shoe, a stumble to the edge, she fell, like a graced angel in flight devoured by the night. © Sia Jane -- “I too am convinced that life is dark, and at the same time I love life.” Simone de Beauvoir
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23
Underneath the pecan tree is where I'll be, Waiting for you to come back to me Until then the roots will cradle me tenderly And I will bide my time patiently The branches will envelope me as I dream of you pensively The leaves will talk to me as I think of you ardently The tree engulfs me the more you're not a part of me, And I allow it If you don't come the tree and I will become one
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Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 1:43 PM UTC
Underneath The Pecan Tree
Ruby lips etched sharply Against a gauzy memory Pensively floating on the hope Of a love long lost. She resides in a murky present Time out of place Creating a romance of a silky past Delicately draped on her soft shoulders. Locked in a whirlpool of faded emotions She yearns for substance that is both Supportive and translucent Unsatisfied but not hopeless Resting upon her reverie Evening slips into night Dreams envelop her.
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Aug 2, 2015
Aug 2, 2015 at 8:36 AM UTC
Reverie on a Dusty Photo
No one knows me, and I mean that wholeheartedly. Any clue you think I let slip was thought about carefully. Any sigh or smile was planned out perfectly. My curt replies written out pensively. My attitude delivered deliberately. My laughs emitted purposely. Any sign of being intrigued thought about timely. The bounce in my step choreographed repetitively. Any cry made Oscar-ly. Any sign of hopelessness shown thoughtfully. Whether my skies are gray or blue, You only connect the dots I give you.
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May 16, 2014
May 16, 2014 at 11:17 PM UTC
Dots
You’re aged thirty-two with your own bottomless bank account. A pocket full of cash that’s digging a deep immeasurable pit into your pocket. Spending ridiculous amounts on ridiculous things, no matter if it costs over a million. You’re aged thirty-two with your own supercharged automobile. Fresh new stainless steel alloys and rubber tires to burn at the turn of the diamond studded steering wheel. Chasing the marks on the road as you drive off into your own endless oblivion. You’re aged thirty-two with your own house in New York. The doors of which let hundreds of guests pass through night after night into the never-ending carnivals rides of Coney Island. But when they leave you standing alone on your peer, pensively pondering your past, Reaching out for her green light across the misty filled lake. Trying to work out how to bring her back, but only this time making it last. She’s just across on the other side of the bay, With no idea that the hole in her back is being burned by the fires of your eyes. As you stand disguised staring into her yellow solar flare hair in the morning sunrise. You’re aged thirty-two with an unfilled heart. Longing for the girl that you should have never left in the start. But she’s with someone new and she’s probably forgotten all about that year she spent with you. You're just the distant memory reaching across the bay, The one that the whisperers say was a lonely millionaire aged only thirty-two.
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May 21, 2013
May 21, 2013 at 11:29 AM UTC
You're Aged Thirty-Two.
A legion of children enveloped us that day, / Their presence transparent beneath rays of sun baptismal. / As the chirp of laughter infiltrated the air, / There enclaved in their omnipresent mist, / Passion blossomed in this juvenescent heart. / Gleaming these eyes sauntered your luminescent skin, / Pining for that rapture that lay betwixt your arms. / Although roving within for clarity in words, / This burgeoning vessel trembled in loss, / For fugitive they stood in my subconscious. / Yearning for more than the caress of your voice, / Its musicality enough to serenade for all time, / And the flawless rhythm of this heartbeat / Whispered intently of something divine / For this keepsake of yours -is immortal.- / Even now nostalgia cleaves as an arrow, / -Piercing to the soul- / And it screams to be nurtured. / Blooming in reminiscence I conjure dreams immemorial, / Returning to that hallowed sanctuary. / Your countenance is a distant glint, now untraceable; / Marred by elapsed time, that insidious decay. / My agony has become a vast sea, / Besieged by the maelstrom of lament / For my undying piety is all that remains./ A language too grand to be deciphered / By such an infantile mind, / Yet now I pensively ponder, "Will you ever return?" / I would relinquish my soul to gaze once more / Upon your grace my Materialista. / Life has become a heavy haze, / Occupied by a discordant melisma of pain. / And this memento -without you- is my torture stake, / For the moment we held hands has bound me forevermore; / And I stand here everlastingly, yearning for your arms. /
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Jul 3, 2016
Jul 3, 2016 at 1:40 PM UTC
Desiderata Materialista Transcendentalista (Originally Written on Wednesday, February 4th, 2015)
A legion of children enveloped us that day, / Their presence transparent beneath rays of sun baptismal. / As the chirp of laughter infiltrated the air, / There enclaved in their omnipresent mist, / Passion blossomed in this juvenescent heart. / Gleaming these eyes sauntered your luminescent skin, / Pining for that rapture that lay betwixt your arms. / Although roving within for clarity in words, / This burgeoning vessel trembled in loss, / For fugitive they stood in my subconscious. / Yearning for more than the caress of your voice, / Its musicality enough to serenade for all time, / And the flawless rhythm of this heartbeat / Whispered intently of something divine / For this keepsake of yours -is immortal.- / Even now nostalgia cleaves as an arrow, / -Piercing to the soul- / And it screams to be nurtured. / Blooming in reminiscence I conjure dreams immemorial, / Returning to that hallowed sanctuary. / Your countenance is a distant glint, now untraceable; / Marred by elapsed time, that insidious decay. / My agony has become a vast sea, / Besieged by the maelstrom of lament / For my undying piety is all that remains./ A language too grand to be deciphered / By such an infantile mind, / Yet now I pensively ponder, "Will you ever return?" / I would relinquish my soul to gaze once more / Upon your grace my Materialista. / Life has become a heavy haze, / Occupied by a discordant melisma of pain. / And this memento -without you- is my torture stake, / For the moment we held hands has bound me forevermore; / And I stand here everlastingly, yearning for your arms. /
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*in hyper-tensive past-tenses of aggression gargantuan fences and elephants pensively define the inequality of mind killer whales impale the snails upon knives that shine with yesterday's   newest movies new longings for leggings more guns for the incessant humdrum of drums and drones beaten down to the bone and then boiled and burned the broth is thick as slime a liquid sludge you could never dine upon unless your next wish was death and in case her face made you pace the halls her breath made you face the waterfalls of the spirit under this scenario we danced a living image hurried and hunted just as the mountains crumbled we got ****** and stunted our growth as furry souls with feline dreams deliver their music in their coats under their armor their is a charmer who sings all manners of worlds into being forming a third unity another understanding is standing under her dress he caressed her thigh and lifted her alibis to the ski in her eyes are comets just passing by in her mouth the sun heads towards the south and orbits her heart a thousand times i have called you before and no-one answered the door i have walked your gardens with seeds falling from my beard cut the pieces out of leftover pockets and raced for the fields that allow for our rockets to attack the moon*
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Apr 24, 2017
Apr 24, 2017 at 10:51 PM UTC
pensive elephants can no longer be irrelephant