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Shelby Hemstock Sep 2013
I lost my first love,
For the millionth time
Then I woke up
It still hurts, like the first time, even in dreams
Wiping the cold out my eyes
Or are they dried up tears
From emotional scar tissue
Built up year after year
As I rise from bed
So do the suppressed memories of her
Like the raising of a purposely sunken ship
Buried deep, deep in the Mariana Trench
Then she follows me until the afternoon
Like a ghost in mourning, with unfinished business of this earth
A plague on my mind, like rain on recess
I can still see the layout of her fathers apartment
Perfectly laid out in my mind
Her and I, laying in her adolescent, orange sheeted silk bed
Quietly spelunking each others bodies
As to not sound the protective alarm in her fathers head
I can still smell her
Hear her
Feel her touch, in bed, whilst I
When I sleep, I can't control her
Time isn't linear
After we close our eyes and turn in
In my dream state
We'll still date
Jumping around from July 2005 to May 2008
But never again with eyes open
For I see a different person
Then when my eyes are closed
Skin pressed, rubbing of the nose
Our naked bodies and clenched toes
Shelby Hemstock Aug 2013
"Dude, we're going to a burn this weekend and none of us have a car, will you take us?

"Sure, if you pay for my expenses."

And thats how I went to my first burn,
Freezer Burn, in the dead of winter, outside of Austin, Texas
So icy polar bears wear parkas and penguins wear pea coats
In the same essence of Burning Man
Just on a much much smaller scale
Located down a gravel road
Tucked away deep in the woods, miles away from civilization
Where primeval screams go unnoticed and the people go unkempt
No one to impress, everything is everything
The effigy made of wood, a colossal abominable snow man
Which would later be burned in a blaze of glory
Accompanied by fireworks, fire spitters and fire spinners galore
There were drum jams, free spirited belly dancers, and herds of hula hoops
The name of our camp site was "Goonsville"
I kept mistakingly referring to it as "Ghoul Town"
There were a lot of other camp sites,
We bordered "Camp Glue **** Together"
And "Tribe Named Search"
The first night was bone chilling
I had no gloves and all I had to soften my brain was cold cold beer
Sitting next to the fire was all we had to stay warm,
But we didn't have a fire
So we walked fire to fire, auditing camp sites
Greeting strangers with hugs and beers offered
A stranger with a beard walked up to us
Holding a bottle of whiskey
He extended it my way, no words, just whiskey
He wore soft toes boots, worn out bell bottom jeans
Yellow sunglasses and a red beanie, it was night
We were friends immediately
Being in a place like this makes you free
If you had the curiosity to come to a burn
Then you were automatically excepted as a friend, all equal
My friend Sam even called him cutie to which he responded,
"I'll be by your tent later tonight"
If gay jokes are in the air,
You're in the company of friends

My notes tend to trail off there,
I kept getting fed psychedelics
Teddy Grahams dosed with sunshine acid
The fungus was among us
I snorted a grain of something off a tooth pick and
The stars came together like a connect the dots worksheet
After that everything became a memory within a kaleidoscope
All I have written are quotes from passing strangers

"It's essencial to bring a beach ball if you want to have fun"

"When I let go its like Cleopatra letting her snakes loose"

"I woke up at 8am and had my first psychedelic sandwich of the day"

"**** buying ****, you don't have to do that, it's just an illusion"

"It's best to be sleep deprived when you take LSD, it enhances the trip"

"You can't occupy that space because it's occupied by my spirit"

"Whats the purpose of number 42?"

"You'll have to excuse me I just got this guitar from a pawn shop the other day, mind if I bust a tune on ya real quick?"

"******* beatin' on drums and drinkin' beer! Hell yes!"

"This is a good first burn man, not too many people, just real chill"

Andrew, Ben, Chris, Collin, Frank, Greg, Justin, Olive, Sam, Travis
Freaks, Friends
Freezer Burn January 14th, 2012
Shelby Hemstock Aug 2013
I didn't do much today
I just laid around
I thought about cooking breakfast
But didn't
Even though the kitchen is ten feet away
I can't seem to start a fire
Internally or externally
Story of my life
Just laying around
Can't be found
Phone on vibrate
Mouth on mute
Can't function
Brain wont compute
I could be making easy money
Leasing out apartments
But I don't care about the loot
I just hold onto dollars until the eagle grins anyways
I prefer sleep over money any day
Its free
And if you get lucky you'll get a movie in your head
So I lay
I lay all day
I lay to the point of decay
Burnt out
Edges frayed
Bed hasn't been made
In weeks
Dismayed, prefaced with failure
Examples set from forefathers
"Drinking away the part of the day I cannot sleep away"
Plays on repeat in my head
Followed by,
"I woke up this morning and I grabbed myself a beer"
I should really fire the DJ in my head
Next up on Shelby FM,
"I'm only sleeping"
In my bed
Shelby Hemstock Aug 2013
I was walking down Graham Ave
(Or up, if your an optimist)
When I spotted a side walk sale
My eyes darted
"I want to go to there"
Without thinking or blinking
Drawn in like a tractor beam
I sifted through the pile of wax
My nostrils flared
From the ****
Covered in dust
Embedded in age
Music at its greatest stage
The woman having the sale said,
"The records are $2, no holler"
"$2 is better than $3,
Especially for a broke
******* like me"
So I snagged some
Miles Davis &
Dinah Washington
Then I looked up,
Read the light of the Goodyear Blimp
And it read "Shelby Hemstock's a ****"
You know what kind of day it was
Guess I was going up Graham after all
Shelby Hemstock Jul 2013
New York City,
Said the same by masses
Yet reflected upon
Uniquely by individuals
To some it's just a place to visit
And they would never live there
To others,
New York is a haven
A shoppers delight
An amusement park
The city so nice they named it twice
Those who are lucky enough
To have been to New York
You always have at least
One crazy story
The definition of crazy being,
"Possessed by enthusiasm of excitement"
"This one time I was in Bushwick
And I gave a guy directions,
Then he invited me to a cannabis cup.
It was crazy."
Or there's this other definition
Of crazy meaning,
"Fooling or impractical. Senseless"
Crazy New York stories often
Associated with the second definition
Usually involve a homeless person
And urination
Whose ***** it is,
Well that's another story
I can sum up my New York
Story in a minute
If you live here
That's all strangers ask you anyways,
"Where you from friend?"
So I've rehearsed my story a bit
I've gotten pretty good
At expeditiously answering
The questions that follow,
"So what made you
Move to New York?"
"So do you go
To school for it?"
"Where do you work?"
"Do you have
A cigarette?"
My answers,
"I followed a group of friends
To document their experience
As rising musicians
Eventually “Train Robbers”
Was formed and I
Shot an abundance of videos of those
Said musicians busking.
They would preform inside of
60 miles per hour subway cars,
Finish a song or two
Collect the loot
Then bail
Hence, “Train Robbers”.”
I’m mostly self-taught
In the fields of film making
As well as guitar,
The guitar you can tell
After months of watching
Then later re-watching
In the editing room
These musicians,
Counting up all that easy money
Stacking all the ones
Then forcefully folding
The *** of bills
Into their pockets,
I too then started to play guitar
On the subway.
And no, I don’t have
A cigarette.”
Shelby Hemstock Jul 2013
Remember when you threw me out and said sink or swim?
Well I'm swimmin' now alright
And it looks like you can't even float
I'm not sorry your crew abandoned your boat

Carry your weight you say
Well call me mule
Now your hand is extended towards me
Asking for jewels

Theres a leo on the prowl
Walk on egg shells to avoid an instant collision
Temper tantrums will keep you divided like division
You should look at yourself in the mirror and make a revision

I hope you're warm
Standing next to all the bridges you've burned
Grow up if you want to be successful
But you're too stubborn to have learned

You're a friend of mine but not for long
You abandoned me first sight of wrong
That's just too bad, I don't blame you, I blame your dad
You were the most selfish friend I've ever had
Shelby Hemstock Jul 2013
Mama's in jail
Can't post bail
I wonder how she looks
'Cause I can't tell through the mail

Lennon said,
"Mother, you had me, but I never had you"
No one to lean on
So I stand on my own, my how I've grown

That's not all true
There are others that care
But when I'm in trouble
I can't call the woman to whom I was bared

It's been years since I've seen ya Ma'
Sydney's getting older

I still don't think it's right that she has to pay the fair of you not being there
McCartey said "Don't carry the world upon your shoulders"

So when I feel the pain I'll refrain
Grown on Beatles
Raised right
Made in New Orleans
Born and raised in Texas
Seen most the states before my years of latter
Consuming landscapes platter after platter
Mama wasnt there, no matter
I'm still climbin' the ladder, no mother, no matter
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