Dreaming of those good times even though my dreams are shattered
Memories of the years with you, now my dreams are scattered
Tears of our dreams ripped away with everything that mattered
Dreams of the feelings that we shared, our love all torn and battered
Happy with the love you gave, my bleeding hearts now tattered
Petals fall from a weeping rose, seeping blood that's splattered

How did it get this way, how did it all go wrong ?
Why are thing's as bad as this, when our love was strong ?
Life's to short before we die and sing our final song
Feelings of this nature I've had for far too long
Many time's are wasted, so much forever gone
A lovers heart in a dream lay waiting all along

When I truly love you, my feelings are not lent
My dreams are forever, sentiments are meant
Forever means forever, love is no accident
Broken hearts bring so much pain with every lost segment
dreams are always shattered love's your own torment
With the feeling of the lose of a love's sweet scent

So listen to your heart don't ignore your own fate
hold onto your lovers dreams before it is to late
Don't **** what love you have, don't turn love to hate  
it really isn't worth all the pain of a lost soul mate
Open up your own heart, there's no need to desecrate
Let all your love flood through and open up the gate

Too many tears have flowed, all washed away in streams
Scorching hearts are burning, ashes falling on sun beams
Shattered dreams are always there, my mind plagued to extremes
nothing ever stays to long, even love looses it's strong seams
Bleeding hearts are torn away with distant lovers screams
A lovers heart is broken On all those shattered dreams

Sparkling fauna emerald green, organic lifeblood bleeds.

Molten blasting magma screams, brimstone preacher speaks.

Freezing water frigid creeps, Poseidon's clarion shrieks.

Blackness, ******, human greed; Gaea's suffering.



Corrupted souls, riddled with filth. Void of empathy and guilt.

Crossed with fate, blind with hate. Tear the fibers, desecrate.

Unholy thoughts to Hell dedicate, quickened pulse, frightened rate.

Can't run away, horrid dreams mutate. Steel fangs in neck with death's weight.



Child of stars and moon, watercolor streak crystalline.

Metal mind fragment, bristling tesla machine. Lightning-blue bloodstreams.

Twisted man's being, child of nothing. Made hellish and free.

Stitched visage shows war-torn beast, ghastly and crazed, shivering bleak freak.



Corpulent avarice, altered being, raised to moonlight, stricken, striking.

Drained by bloodletting, desiccated. Once live and free but now ill-fated.

Skin like armor, baneful valor. Built to survive and smother the cowards.

Towering servant to the unholy knave. Servant to the call of the endless grave.

Every morning i  wake up
Dawn my blouse
Boot band my trousers
grab my cover and storm out the door

Every day i train for an enemy that has not show his face or is already at my front door
Killing my brothers and sisters
Sometimes even the people I swore to protect


But not everyday do i go out and fire a round
or blow up a town square
But i am the villain
I am the bad guy who has the flag he wakes up and salutes
Stepped on and trashed for not things ive done but things of people of lesser degree

But my conviction stays sharp and my aim holds strong
even as i have lost my bestfriend and a father
Even as i cant start a new year with my family
or open presents with my sisters and brothers
I cant kiss my girl buy her a new dress to model for me but can watch videos of the people i protect walk on my flag and desecrate what i stand for.

But Hello to the bad guy

I FORGOT TO WASH MY HAIR FOR TWO WEEKS IM ******* SLIMY ALL OVER DO YOU STILL WANT TO KISS ME
this isnt a ******* pride parade **** me with your eyes open
**** me and say "god,the smell of you"
the stench
******* spiders crawling out of my mouth i smell like a gutter turned into a bomb shelter
im an epidemic
ITS ******* ART THATS WHY I RIPPED OUT YOUR THROAT ITS ALL A METAPHOR DONT YOU SEE IT NOW
let go of me. let go of me--slime central
home of the world famous gutter babe
******* ******* shut up ******* **** me
bury your pride and the ******* ****** weapon in one line its not that complicated
but i want to be messed up, or i used to want it
or i will want it
i can feel everyone vibrating with the force of it all and somewhere you're laughing at me
chains around your ankles
this is what it takes to **** a martyr
this is what it takes to swallow him whole
go out guns blazing
WELCOME TO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
**** the switch, or turn the lights off, or whatever
put a blindfold on when you stab yourself
put a blindfold on me when you pull my intestines out with your bare hands
desecrate me
im not a tomb but im a funeral pyre
bodies are my specialty
sorry, i misspoke
what i meant to say was, "i want to **** myself"
but i won't, not when the meats so fresh, lick blood off of my kneecap
YOU WERE ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE SACRIFICE
sentiment is for liars and thieves
(im both but you dont know that yet, it hasn't happened yet--shut up, I'm telling the story.this is my fall from grace,not yours)
bite your tongue bite your teeth too in fact
just bite yourself ******
its better this way, or whatever you want to hear
what am i supposed to say to a graverobber? do you want me to thank you,is that what this is about?
*******, *******, what the **** are you still doing here, anyway?
i hope you rot
i hope we both rot
(AND HERES THE PART WHERE YOU SAY "I ALWAYS LOVED YOU" AND HERES THE PART WHERE I CUT OFF YOUR HEAD)

In times of War,
and in times of Woe,
we stumble cross this world
and down below

And in the deep
where all things sleep
we find vague secrets hurled
guarded by things that creep

When I read a paper, of the News,
I wearily read and yet joyfully snooze
I hear of stories filled with rage
and listen to pages that unto others abuse

and I say...

HAHAHA

Human fools, we are pathetic,
give up this world we know,
travel back, through time and space,
to ease the pain we've sworn to sew,

What in paitence lies with pity,
And in lying, animosity,
We cannot trust, or be trusted
And hide in cloaks from dignity

I am I guess a doomsayer,
as I like to say our doom;
It will come, by our wills done
And shall end the cycle of gloom

Even through negativity,
this white sail stand with truth,
We are poor and weak,
and surely deserve to fall from our peak..

And should you wonder why,
or how cruel of me to be?
Then ask yourself, or die,
How can you let THIS be?

When Humans have no love,
no patience for this Earth,
When grace is hunted with glove,
We've lost our lovely mirth..

When Humans care for torture,
***, Money and Power,
There is no greater torture
Then to suffer this hour through hour..

When Wars are fueled by anger,
wrought as steel, long ago,
Should we travel back this Danger,
and send it melting as the snow?

When the Economy is poisoned,
and the flag of Obama is soiled,
The truth in the cotton is marred,
and the Red White and Blue is by rage Boiled..

When Minds are swift as flies,
Yet can be stayed by petty lies,
or When these Lies
Act as flies,
they spread their wings with hate,
all across the state,
so that we may argue,
and that we may toil,
that we may blame for,
or that we may take from
And eventually desecrate

When Words are trusted fasley,
and from it lives took wrongly,
Who can we trust in this void
of life we too must rust?

When light of Moon
and Song of sun,
have in the dark fled far,

Wither we go, all abroad
Peace never shall be far,
Yet ever will be far
In this world we sadly mar.

Deter my mind of thoughts of you,
expedite the process of reproaching;
before sick in love my sacrifice I promise.
Tell the chilly incessant buds of hate-
to blossom in the land of crimson.
Beg the merciless Son of Venus;
to withdraw his embedded arrow.
Deter my eyes from the sights of you,
truncate the weeds in the walls of my garden;
before all is covered in the ivy caresses of your burden.
Tell the sun to draw its blinds-
to darken the places in which you shine.
Beg the doctor for a poison;
to desecrate the altar in which I find you.
Oh, for me, I pray
Do not stray to the impious mischief that can be-
your compelling ushering of passion.

I need to feel your presence
find a way somehow
through a flame
or a hole
or a spirit
somehow

give me a sign
I'm fuming
this scream refuses
to leave my throat
my eyes turn pale
with your absence

I circumambulate
your sacred fire
but the demons desecrate it

swallow the sky
in a fury only you can summon

clear the grounds

I'll be born again
like a breakthrough

Now that you are gone
they surely
will find you
as good as you
know you deserve
on Earth.

Why do you mock me
here in my own space?
This is my home
to desecrate.
Had I known you were
here as well I might
take my chances
to venerate.

I want to be alone,
lonely and lost.
I want to be
the god that I ought.
Whatever it takes,
however I find
I may as well
buckle up,
because I'm ******
either way.

Now that you are gone
they surely
will find you
as good as you
know you deserve
on Earth.

Don’t tell me it can’t all be equally shared
Don’t tell me elections are fair
Anywhere
I know whose had the power
The weapons to prove it
The world in their hands
And the money to move it
Perpetual profit
New product to cell
Dwellin’ deep in the pocket
Of your lol

So don’t tell me with Twitter you’re not all Obsessed
When you buy every lie presidential address
Comin’ hot off the press
Not so free to inform
A pornhub tuggin’ ******
Publicity Storm
And another blackout
On my people uncovered
Like Firestone burnin’ through natives
Unrubbered

Don’t tell me you don’t have the cure
Or that war
Isn’t waged on the people
To sheeple the poor
To the industry slaughterhouse
Dream factory
Where success is a breath of fresh
Debt peony
I know slavery still puts
That food on the table
And big pharma’s FDA puppets, the label

So don’t tell me dope is what’s making us Dumb
Don’t tell me my God’s not the LSD sun
Or that guns aren’t hired
To desecrate my
Sanctified inner peace
Keepin’ graffiti sky
For my ties to this earth
Are invaluable worth
So don’t tell me my rights haven’t been mine Since birth

A desolate shore,
The sinister seduction of the Moon,
The menace of the irreclaimable Sea.

Flaunting, ****** and grim,
From cloud to cloud along her beat,
Leering her battered and inveterate leer,
She signals where he prowls in the dark alone,
Her horrible old man,
Mumbling old oaths and warming
His villainous old bones with villainous talk--
The secrets of their grisly housekeeping
Since they went out upon the pad
In the first twilight of self-conscious Time:
Growling, hideous and hoarse,
Tales of unnumbered Ships,
Goodly and strong, Companions of the Advance,
In some vile alley of the night
Waylaid and bludgeoned--
Dead.

Deep cellared in primeval ooze,
Ruined, dishonoured, spoiled,
They lie where the lean water-worm
Crawls free of their secrets, and their broken sides
Bulge with the slime of life.  Thus they abide,
Thus fouled and desecrate,
The summons of the Trumpet, and the while
These Twain, their murderers,
Unravined, imperturbable, unsubdued,
Hang at the heels of their children--She aloft
As in the shining streets,
He as in ambush at some accomplice door.

The stalwart Ships,
The beautiful and bold adventurers!
Stationed out yonder in the isle,
The tall Policeman,
Flashing his bull's-eye, as he peers
About him in the ancient vacancy,
Tells them this way is safety--this way home.

We ran through that house like we lived there
Cursing the filth and praising the clutter
The amount of stuff, another persons life
It was ours to desecrate, it was ours

And I spent all winter (or **** near all winter)
Trying to get warm
And I lost all my time to the intricacies of your youth
Only to find it in my room at night
Those nights killed me in the way one kills time

Now I spend all summer trying to get cool
My blankets big enough for two, there's plenty time to run through
**** me with those eyes that drown me in hope
And I hand over everything I've ever known for an hour in your presence

I want to evicerate you
I want to desecrate you
I want to tear you limb from ******* limb
I want to make sure you never ******* see daylight again

I want to watch the light leave your eyes
I want to be your ultimate demise
I want you to die by my hand
I want to fill your insides with sand

I want to break open your face with a frying pan
I want to gut you like only Freddy Krueger can
I want you to feel my pain
*******, **** stain

How could anyone,
be so hurtful
and desecrate an Angel so beautiful?  

How could anyone,
be so hurtful
after opening the doors to her heart
only to tear it apart?

But how can I,
Be the one to
Mend the doors that broke her heart?
Ease the pain that tore her apart?

How can I
Be the one to
Sanctify the Angel, recreate her beautiful self?
Show her how beautiful she is to me, and to herself?

Love her they say
And Love her I will.

You torment me

I love you

You destroy me

I love you

You desecrate me

I love you

You puncture my heart

I love you

You take my spirit

I love you

You blacken my eyes

I love you

You break me

I love you

You make me fragile

I love you

You take away everthing that is good

I love you

I cant possibly love me

You ever have those moments
When you have nothing else to write
But you crave to scream
Into the void
Of words and thoughts
Just to hear others screams echo back?
A blank canvas of rage
And unsaid words
Cluster into your mind
Not meant to be said
Out loud but read
Like a secret laced with poison
The more who know
The more that are at risk
Of never being completely cured
And only when it's dark
Do I begin to wait
To seeth and grit
And contemplate
How much of this life
I truly hate
But Of which I am apart
I'm a working part of it all
And to feel the line of my life
Is to simply tolerate
While others sneer
And show their hate
And to accept that I must live and die
Within the walls they desecrate
Distract, medicate, pay and ****
Saluting my allegiance to a dollar bill
Reality tv is now considered a thrill
And pop and rap overflowing past fill
The idea that rules keep us safe
Just because I told you so
Unless you're a different race
Then the laws are meant for those who can't pay
Cause criminals with money
Somehow always manage to get away
I wish I were stupid
Or brain dead at least
And be completely unaware
Than to witness times as these
It's nothing to write about
Cause you already know
The worlds going to ****
And we're letting it go
As long as we do nothing
Then they'll assume we like it
So **** change
**** hope
**** ever evolving
I'll be dead and rotting
Before they get to solving
And now my rage is echoed in black
If you're in the darkness too
Just echo back

how remarkable a thing it is, to be struck by lightenings of words, torrents of ideas, chokes of emotions and then stop. and think how is it that i got here, how is it that i do this and say? how is it that i say? and to be overcome with a two year old sense of imagination that does not die until the wee hours of the morning when the birds peck on your window and say hello. you are here, i am here.

and how wonderful it is, when there are leaves on the ground to be kicked aside and cursed at as an excuse for the children, or the dog, or the spouse who left because things are too complicated. and these leaves hold every human emotion, set there by words spoken to them and no one else, set there by a small child who holds the beautiful colors up to a mother that is too distracted to realize that this is the defining moment in a life and you must grasp it and hold it up to the light and wonder through the stained glass effect.

and how it is that we choose to let the world wash over us and over and over and slowly rub away all the pretty age spots that told us we were human, how it is that we do not give all our change to the men sitting on the street, how it is that umbrellas are used every day because some people do not like the rain. when you could open your eyes and pretend you are three and every glimpse of light is a rainbow and there are monsters under your bed and someday you will be a grown-up and do whatever you want to. how it is that people do not become children and stare at the world.

how is it, that when the wind rushes through the trees and rattle, that we shudder? how is it, that when the storms desecrate houses people cry? we could live off moonlight and sunshine and we could go back fifty years, start the movement over and this time do it right. and it wouldn't matter. people would still ignore the warm colors on the ground and focus on the cold, people will still put up brightly colored umbrellas that do not save anything but their wool coats that cost more than a years worth of food for an orphanage in asia, people will still be blind and there will be others who try to open their eyes.

I can feel you all around me, like the oxygen I breathe.
You're the poison of my choosing, a masterpiece of a disease,
The most daring contradiction, and my favorite affliction.
I can feel you taking over, but you're a welcomed addiction.

I want you to course through every vein, like the blood that feeds my brain.
I want to invade your every bone to cause the sweetest kind of pain.
I'll take you, then break you; destroy, then recreate you.
If you're the world's most sacred temple, I'll be the first to desecrate you.

I'll be the motor to your machine, and we'll burn white-hot like metal --
Too ***** to be clean, and as shameless as the devil.

And while Cyprus was still collecting her broken pieces,
her broken bones and flesh, her broken children;
the enemy struck her again, relentlessly,
for the second time in a matter of days.
The enemy's only care was to destroy
to take, to pillage, and desecrate that ancestral soil.
Her soil, her bones, her blood; her children
broken once again. . .
She's still broken 41 years later
She still waits, broken 41 years later,
for someone to mend and piece back together
her pieces, her bones, her blood. . .
her children.

I got a beautiful journal for my birthday.
Red leather, small enough to fit comfortably in my hand.
I'm too afraid to write in it;
The pages feel special,
Like they deserve words
That are pure and beautiful.
I can't pencil in words that would
Desecrate the ****** smoothness of those sheets.

I'm afraid to write something that doesn't
Live up to what I think
Is worthy to grace the insides of that
Beautiful journal.

I understand (to the best of an 18 year old's respectively limited understanding) how the heart works, and I know how manipulation works. I'm damaged..I don't think I know what true love might be like, but I know what it feels like to receive it. I know what soulful intimacy is like. I know what it's like to trust someone with your life, but I only know that because I didn't have a choice. I know what it is to lay my mind and body down in submission in the lap of a mad man, and bow to whatever he wants, because you know it's not him, but the "other guy" talking. I know what it's like to think you can save someone if you sacrifice yourself. I know what I thought was love.
I also know what it is to grow up and leave. I know what it is to turn around and bite the hand that fed me poison. I know what it's like to rip out and desecrate the heart of the one who thought he owned mine. I know what it is to be looked at like prey. I know what it is to feel the presence of hot breath on my neck, and have cold chills run down my body and have my stomach turn; legs twitch in anticipation of frantic flight. I know what it is to uproot my future-- my life, wrap my new tender roots in rough burlap, cram them into a small plastic bin, and run.
I know not what it is to stop seeing his truck around every corner. I know not what it is to stop looking over my shoulder. I know not what it is to not be in fear in my own stomping grounds. I know not what it is to not think every set of dim headlights on the dark, unpopulated roads riding too close behind me are him. I know not what it is to breathe easy. I know running away once is not enough.
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I knew what I thought was love.
I knew what I made were excuses for inexcusable actions.
I knew I was wrong
I knew he was wrong
I knew
I knEW
I KNEW
I knew he was poison..I didn't want to believe it..he was antifreeze..he was so sweet..honey and molasses and syrup and sap I was STUCK TO HIM LIKE A FLY ON FLYPAPER OH HOW I REGRET EVER SEEING HIS FACE OH GOD, and I when I left, part of me ripped away from my bones, and I'm bleeding out..
No. NO NO NO NO N--
He was a long, slow inhale of mustard gas; burning my lungs and cutting my breath short and sweet. Choking me. Choking me. Choking me.
I know what I thought was love.

Drown it down
Spell it out
Use my brain
For what you're thinking about
Crush the ash
Take a bash
Take a harder hit
To make it all last
Clench your fist
Grind your teeth
Feel the sweat
Pour out of me
Make the martyr
**** the king
Play whatever you want
Just let me ******* sing
Mark my words
Lay it in my skin
An angel outside of my eyes
But a demon within
Shoot the ****
Pull the trigger
Itch the spot
Till the wound grows bigger
Fester now
No use for a cure
I've suffered this disease
Long before dying on the floor
Whisper my name
Scream it in hate
Son of the father
The ***** was born to desecrate
Nail the tracks
Hammering falls
Spear through my side
But I can still crawl
Force my hand
Knuckles break
No more fingers of mine
I can use to take
****** drips
Drip past my eyes
It made the power
To see past all lies
Smile wide
Laugh if you can
It can only mean
You know not what I am
Trust me blindly
Leave me your mind
There's always something in there
That I will find
Just don't sentence me to life

Once upon a time I would have given you the world
Would have sailed the seven seas to tear the north star from the sky
Once upon a time I'd steal the fire from the gods
Just to keep you warm in the frozen morning so you could stay with me
Because once upon a time
I thought you were the one and
Once upon a time you were my center
But slowly over time I see
The monster you've become and I
Resent the fact we ever coexisted
Now it's all gone
The love I had, the flame inside
The way your gaze lit up my life
It's all gone, your once proud name
Poisoned, and burning away with the blaze
I would say that I want you to die, but in truth
I just can't seem to care
I should feel betrayed at your lack of faithfulness
But really, I'm just glad you're not here
By all means, be free from me
Keep my shirts and keep your money
Forget all of the memories
Of you, and me, and this travesty
Go find someone else to be your dad and
Go find someone else to raise your kid
Go find someone else's soul to desecrate
Infect them with madness, pollute them with hate
Go sink your fangs in someone else and
Fill them with your lies
You used to be the woman I loved, but now
You're just some ***** I despise.

**** words fail what is it you want sick hearing about god get attached won’t let go close eyes imagine foreign exotic lands strange beautiful women tentatively open eyes hours later where am i what happened

chicago 1991 bartender Jerry dressed in black pants white shirt black bolero thinks Odysseus intelligent funny hooks him up with drinks Odysseus and Jerry banter libertine remarks “what’s up with you tonight Jerry?” “i wish my life had more balance i work too much i’m getting stressed serving drunks like you” Odysseus smashes cigarette into ashtray orange embers break up smoke smolders drifts Jerry empties ashtray Odysseus says “balance is a funny thing Jerry it’s not necessarily symmetric like yin yang symbol what if balance manifests in form of 9 parts darkness to 1 part light envision powerful bright beam shooting through nine degrees of night” Jerry replies “never thought about it that way you mean like yin-yin-yin-yin-yin-yin-yin-yin-yin-YANG!”  Odysseus laughs “exactly the question is is life just a big joke? what if the world is made up of nine parts evil and hatred to one part goodness and love?  what if the total equation is godless? does existence have a point other than amusement?” Jerry answers “don’t get philosophical on me Odys where is this going or do i already know?” Odysseus expounds “what is more captivating than a woman embarrassed? Jerry did you ever tease torture a woman with feathery touch tongue then finally give her pleasure” Jerry grins nods walks to other end of bar Odysseus drinks 10 or 12 double absolute vodkas on the rocks smokes pack of cigarettes scribbles on cocktail napkins Jerry serves listens Odysseus gestures hands spews out words “this is my church this is how i absolve my hurting let us drink to our own annihilation perhaps some good will come what more fun is there than to desecrate one’s self? to the last man standing” he toasts priding himself with strong constitution a female regular sitting at bar comments “sometimes you can be such a ***** what’s wrong with you Odys? you used to be so sweet you’ve changed you’re still in the game but you’re so cooked black on all the edges” he mumbles “hmmmm” walks home blind drunk led by his dog maybe that state of blind drunkenness is about Oedipus plucking out his eyes because he does not want to see truth

Why be a writer when you can be a poet?
Why tell someone you love them when you can show it?
You can write all you want and you can say all you want, but it doesn't matter if you can't have a love affair with your piece.
So let's make love and not war and not desecrate the name of peace in the name of war.
The only wars that ought the be waged are those against those who oppress.
Sadly those who oppress control the press.
This world is in distress.I am a convoluted manically depressed hyperactive mess.
I may be a nobody but my words will have an impact.
An impact on those who made a pact to protect us,
They will cower in fear at the boy with blood on his paper and ink in his heart.
AND HOW DARE THEY SAY THAT MY POETRY SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED ART!
I say we kickstart the next beatnik generation...
And give these kids, some true... motivation.