"dammit" poems
Honestly it's ******* killing me
Oh God! I want you to take me
Right here - right
Now! - every time I think of
You
Fantasy becomes my
Obsession
Reality dissolves - lost in the
Yearning for just
One ......... Kiss ......... I'm simply ......
Utterly
***** For You!!*
(C) Pixievic
Mar 26, 2016
Mar 26, 2016 at 11:59 AM UTC
I was walking down the street
Had an urge to *****
Saw a ***** dumpster
this looks nicer than the girl I dumped'r
I unzipped my pants
shat on the plants
got nice and hard
and shot off harder than a pornstar.
**** THAT DIDN'T RHYME)
I have too much time
because all I do is shoot slime
all over the back
of a president who is black.
I like *****
I bang *****
I make them ***
faster than a game of putt putt.
****** I CANT ******* RHYME)
All of you poetry snobs
are more stupid than calvin and hobbes
You will never be as successful as
Steve Jobs.
End of story. Because I am about to write another ****** poem.
Jun 15, 2014
Jun 15, 2014 at 4:06 PM UTC
I want to hit it hard, not romanticize about the blood ya feel me?
As you read that first line,
when you cross over to the second,
your nose will start to bleed just before my fist connects with your face.
I often dream about it, being feared.
The only reason that you're on the ground is because I put you there.
Quite frankly I'm fearful of myself.
My throat still holds the ache of the alcohol going down.
I swear to you I'm doing better.
I swear.
I can't swear in this house hold so I will talk so quickly creating run on sentences without punctuation or breath because I'm panicking over nothing in particular.
******
Add some shakes to your vocabulary and you've got it right.
My medication puts stray dogs under my finger nails, that's ok because dogs are happiness.
That's supposed to mean I'm happy.
I made myself write this, its horrifyingly scattered just like my head.
That's not right.
That's wrong.
Something is terribly wrong so I must fix it.
That's what I do,
I fix.
I'll just look at this as art.
Some persons trash is another ones treasure.
I'm too scared to write anymore.
This is garbage.
Jul 22, 2014
Jul 22, 2014 at 12:58 AM UTC
Save me.
Save me from the
place inside of me that Loathes my
existence.
help, it is pulling me
down.
Dragging me deeper into to this
dark
cold place
full of everything i hate. like
you, and me.
i hate You more than anything on the face of this planet, well
except for me.
i hate me hate me more than a mother hates the murderer of Her
own Child.
this Calamitous pit inside me
like a Rabbit's hole i can
Never escape, no matter how i
scratch at the sides until my
fingers
bleed.
there is a lot of blood
in this place.
It's the poison inside of me, the reason
why i breathe in short, wispy breaths. It's got to be
the answer. i've got to get the poison
out.
i dig and dig.
dig, dig, dig, dig
and not once do i cry
of pain.
i dig and dig. deeper
and deeper.
the Hot Malicious wine of my pain flows all around me and the world turns grey as my head begins to spin. i hear You. i know how much You hate me.
LEAVE ME ALONE GOD ******
the only colour i see now is the deep red of a rose as i clench my hands tighter around the thorns and then
Drip.
Drip.
The sound of my own breath
shocks me. i lay at the bottom of the bottomless cistern inside of my soul.
the air in my lungs hissing, as i lay there broken. Vulnerable.
in a pool of my own sorrow, thick and dark. You have left me
to die.
You were the only one i let into this place
You pushed me down. You killed me
please Someone help before the rasp in my chest completely fades.
Nov 12, 2012
Nov 12, 2012 at 10:04 PM UTC
I caught myself
daydreaming
of you
again.
Your lips
burning holes
in my throat.
"Is this okay?"
Yes.
It is.
I shake my head
Once,
Twice,
to get you out.
math
focus on math
But ******
you're better
than math.
Aug 25, 2014
Aug 25, 2014 at 7:05 PM UTC
I put so much effort into random places,
so much effort into random faces
face it
im faceless
placeless
drifting
shifting
thoughts towards destiny
feeling empty,
wondering whats left in me...?
messages esoteric terrorize my rhetoric
pedestrians staring glaring gazin gotta get a second look
shook
layers shed, fall from those ancient snakes
left for dead
suffocated, stranded
damaged
god ******
this sunless planet is madness
immobilized
try to find sense in a broke world
what are hands without manipulation?
and in life? death is a stipulation
a fools gold is never within grasp
so
clasp delusions Grandiose
with a toast
to sham pain and champagne
emptied grails course through mans veins
oh to see what mirrors saw
would reflections appear at all?
peer into the endless ego
see nothing but self libido
we are all weary travelers,
existences' eternal passengers
remove masks, flasks, end the charade
let serpents slither, and sun bath
away from the shade
embrace the end of nights
push away the start of days
just keep in mind
which way
the pendulum sways
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014 at 10:29 PM UTC
I know I won't get to all
but ****** I'm gonna try
thumb up to every comment
up until the day I die
I can't react to every line and word
but ****** I can try
thumbs up to ever poet/poetess
maybe no one has, to cry
I'm just a singularity
but ****** all too hell
we, as a community
stand up, and hear the yell
I'm not you, and you're not me
but when you see thumbs down
chime in with words and thumbs
chase the trolls, outta HP town
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018 at 9:20 AM UTC
5 feet away, nomnom
5 minutes past 7 o'clock
It's been five hours now since nomnom
high on herbs
Seeing the tasty food
But deep in lazy
Munchies and whispering voices
****** so much a lazy slob
May 29, 2015
May 29, 2015 at 9:08 AM UTC
**I have an issue
One that weighs heavily upon my heart
One that, if left unchecked, threatens to tear our social moral fiber apart
An issue I will express in English, with some help from my old friend *Swahili
Hii imenisumbua akili, kwa hivyo kuiongelea ni kitu tunastahili
Hii story ya immorality tunaichukulia so so light
Dem akiji'expose kidogo mbele ya kamera haina mseo, tunampandisha cheo kwa society, all of a sudden ye ni socialite
The new cool, eti ‘good girl gone bad’
Hiyo njaro siyo polite*
We have a lot more to live for than that which we seem to be aware of
It’s not always about a good time, or lack thereof
Our reputation as a culture I believe is something we badly need to take care of
*Siyo game
Siyo Jokes
Si eti mambo na fame*
It shouldn’t just be about who drinks, who smokes, who vomits and who chokes
*Hiyo lifestyle siyo dope
Na siyo right*
Six hundred and seventy something ways to die… choose one
I refuse to go… speeding down a highway, drunk out of my mind, on another booz run
However, I may not exactly be the right person to point out how messed up you are
On a scale of one to ten?
I’m probably as guilty as you are
******
May 28, 2013
May 28, 2013 at 3:33 AM UTC
What are we doing out here
In the wild wild west
Are you showing me something
Or are we here to rest
We've traveled a long road
But I'm not ready to settle yet
Spider crawling up my arm one day
Blood on my quilt the next
Blood splot on the bathroom floor
Hair chopped off
Cut my finger
Cut that ****
Third eye minds eye know you can open it
**** nugs nudging you toward it
Chugging fluoride gotta know its blocking it
Depression crippling lazy thinking I'm not getting anywhere anymore
Dated a slick-back sexist slug of a human
He haunts me in my dreams
I'm trying to dream big dream of everything
But his face shows me where I've been
His hands done healing flex ****** veins, stop stealing!
His mom sewing his mistakes back together again, stop helping!
His dad fueling the fire again at home, stop procreating!
Its not the job of a lover to raise your significant other
Its not my job to shower you with everything I have day after ******* day when all I get in return is leftover pizza and a sore ******
-SOME PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE
IT IS NOT ON YOU TO SHOW THEM HOW
SOME WILL TRY OUT THE MOTIONS WITH OTHER MOTIVATIONS IN MIND
BUT LOVE IS NOT JUST AN ACTION IT IS TRULY A LIFESTYLE
Without love I would be dead
Fill
With intention
Else you're dead
Living isn't that easy
Same struggles every day
Being healthy isn't that easy
Definitely more expensive that way
Being human isn't that easy
Hunting my own spirit day after day
Not wanting
Feeling bad
Not supporting
But loving
I have something to say god ******
And don't dare tell me its just the drugs
We need to start questioning what love is
The lack of it is ******* stuff up
I'm high right now if you didn't know it
If I was sober would the words still come out
You say you love me but you don't support it
But how can you love if you don't understand it
Love is unconditional
Love is support
How are you loving when you try to change it
There is no fixing my humanity
You don't know what makes me happy
No one can be trusted
Love
Choice
Choosing
To be loved
Oct 18, 2016
Oct 18, 2016 at 4:27 AM UTC
...my head back into the pillow.
She quickly straddled me.
She began a gentle rocking motion
with her hips,
with subtle glee.
Her thick, precious long hair,
hung down like curtains of night,
around my lust-flushed face,
until I was in perfect darkness right.
She then began caressing
my nakedness with her feathery-locks,
along my silky, trembling body,
from up my heavenly hips,
my tight, tender, heaving tummy,
my aching, stiff-nippled *******
my entire being erupting in goosebumps,
chilly and blazing,
spicey and tasty,
aching and burning,
burning,
burning ******
begging for quenching,
which she does
quickly
and
I'm done.
Sep 28, 2020
Sep 28, 2020 at 9:51 AM UTC
look at you, all naked.
i' m not really in the mood.
hey, stop that! i was talking!
don't try looking cute.
really, let's discuss things!
like, is this serious, or not?
we don't have time, i get it.
couple of days left and you're gone.
you know what? i wanna talk politics.
you don't tempt me, i' m a saint.
i' ll start seeing you as sexist.
i' m a guy, yes, and it's great...
i' ll attack your opinions. that'll show ya!
trotsky was a ****** nianiania!
what? you're angry now? why 's that?
no, don't get angry now! let's cuddle and stuff!
****** them ***** were not enough.
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 6:26 PM UTC
Nightmares. I hate them.
They keep me awake,
They torture me.
They won’t let me wake up.
“Sleep! Sleep!” they say.
“Stay awake! Watch out!” they taunt.
So tired….
I’m falling…it’s so dark.
I grasp air, scramble for a hold.
I find it!
I scrape my hands and hit my leg
The jolt and the pain wakes me again.
I can’t sleep.
It’s not safe in the dark
Ah! I can’t stand the light
Nightmares…Dammit! I hate them!
My dearest, yes, that’s it.
My darling!
My love, he keeps me safe.
He’ll talk to me; comfort!
No, he’s sleeping.
I cannot bother him.
Sleep.
Nightmares.
Falling….
No!
My love…yes, there it is.
He’s so warm, I can feel it now.
Mmm, my darling;
he will not let me fall.
He will always hold on
Despite myself, despite my temper
Despite my rants, despite my antics.
Through all the…the…
Anger!
Frustration!
Overexcitement and
Fear!
Distress and worry!
Paranoia!
**** those nightmares!
I can’t help it.
I’m sorry.
I just….
So much feeling.
I get…
Jumbled.
I get…
Mixed up?
I don’t know
He helps me.
Holds me.
Loves me, even.
How?
I cry and scream,
I back away,
He follows.
I’m sorry.
I just get so jumbled.
He holds me.
I’m so tired…
Sleep, oh sleep….
I close my eyes
And I’m falling.
It’s so dark, hands are grabbing for me.
The light, I want to find it
But I can’t! I’m being
Chased.
******
Nightmares, I hate them!
Why can’t they be quiet, go away…
SHUT UP!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
I’m so tired
I just
I Get so
Jumbled.
Up and Up and Up
And I can’t stop
I’ll fall.
The light, why is it so bright?
Nightmares, voices, people, monsters
Get away all of you!
No,
Not you.
I need you, don’t go
Please.
I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean it.
It’s the nightmares
I feel like I’m falling,
Like I’m being chased
These things, they’re everywhere,
And the light, it’s too bright
And I get so jumbled
I can’t help it.
I’m so tired.
“Sleep! Sleep!”
“Stay awake! Watch out!”
Will the taunting ever end?
Darling…wake up….
I can’t wake up.
I’m being chased
I can’t stop, or else
I’ll fall.
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 11:13 PM UTC
Sitting in the local coffee shop,
Listening to coffee shop songs,
Doing work but simultaneously
Watching people.
Studying psychology,
Of the abnormal type,
Watching behaviors,
But not reflecting inward.
Sipping hot coffee,
Burning your mouth on it,
But trying not to react.
Someone across the cafe saw you; ****
Studying people,
Drinking coffee nonchalantly,
Watching behavior,
Reflect inward, ******
Reflect inward.
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 7:48 AM UTC
It's so hard to forget the pain
that is sourced inside my heart
when you also bring me
peace and joy.
Pain is addicting.
It's so hard to be honest
after all I've known is to pull up
the strings on both ends of my mouth
and smile so that whenever the doctor came he could say,
"Son, you're perfectly fine." (#AccordingToPlan)
I wanted to keep you smiling, no matter what.
It's so hard ******
to keep looking at you, knowing
life will or will not change
for better or worse.
No one can say for no one has the answer
to the future.
I cannot stay bitter or frustrated for more than a day.
It's so hard to release the pressure off my chest
like a gas tank relief valve
after all the emotions that have amassed
with no other option for alleviation until now.
Thank God for HP.
It's so hard, I feel left out
It's so hard to know what to do
It's so hard to let go,
I think I'm in love with you.
Oct 5, 2014
Oct 5, 2014 at 9:58 PM UTC
You say one thing but don't follow through
Leaving me alone left to ponder and ask why
Did I do or say something that hurt you
I understand you are busy but I know you have time
My mind wonders is this fate
Is destiny revealing that this relationship is way overdue
Maybe we just need to escape for our own sake
See some place new where we both can share the view
Please I don't want this to be goodbye
We can run faraway and start with a fresh new slate
But for now I wait as you seem to be preoccupied in another lie
****** just look me in the eye and tell me it straight
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 5:39 AM UTC
I cry out:
I cannot do this
without you, ******
my own strength
is not sufficient.
Jul 26, 2013
Jul 26, 2013 at 1:12 AM UTC
I want his look
not his favourite Ironman T-shirt
I'm not an Irongirl
I'm not an iron anything sort
I want him creases and all
not his “to infinity” golden band
it has the ring of something too definite
I want him here
“and beyond”
just how far
I'm not yet sure about
not his ultra clean pair
of New Balance sports shoes
I'm not the run around sort
wet trackies pants hot and loose
I want him caught off balance
bare footed on the grass
I want his look
and when he gives it
straight back
into my eyes
I know what...
I'll look away at the skies
and hope beyond hope
he'll interpret my act
ironman out my shyness
ring the changes I want
and run beneath my disguise
to find an orange not a lemon
only trouble is
I think he won't
because at this early stage
we don't have much in common
O ******
he's looking...
the sky's so bright!
like he's going to...
I squint!
blind!
eyes shut!
be just my...
I'm so silly!
.... dotage
huh! maybe I should try...
courage?
a comic character?
hypnotism?
an older age?
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 1:12 PM UTC
You dance better than me
You sing better than me
Prettier, taller, smarter
Well **** you are as perfect as a Barbie
I’m as interesting as nothing compared to you.
You can get whatever you want with a snap of a finger. Make guys fall for you at the speed of light.
I am nothing compared to you
You make me look at MYSELF and say “I’m nothing”
You do so many things I can do.
I write.
You write better
I draw
You draw better
Well I bet your poem is better than mine
I do something and ****** I know you can do it better.
All I want is to be better than you at something. No matter how small. I want to be better.
Confident. Pretty hair. Thin.
I am nothing compared to you
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 7:28 AM UTC
We, the same from and of flesh and pumping blood,
our skin sweating in touch, together, the scent
was always the same,
you and I, one younger, one older,
the way it was meant to be,
in fights and tears and pup-tent shared lamp-lit fears,
we rolled our heads beneath the stars above
upon the grassy knolls, our pillows kept,
not ever knowing that one of us would be
covered beneath the soily breath,
the one of one of us, still left,
watering the fields of your footsteps,
now dressed up as dreamy memories,
the tossing heart of guilt and pleads,
for just one more day, ****** -one more
day...
I had still some things,
I wanted to say.
____
My schoolmate Tim and I both lost out brother Mikeys.
This poem is for them.
Jan 1, 2011
Jan 1, 2011 at 5:06 AM UTC
Living in this yellow box filled with aging trinkets
A lonely guy trying to get by just hasn't sealed the link yet
Bout a cup of milk left in the fridge and God forbid I drink it
A shaggy dog; that ***** hog, why can't they smell the stink yet?
The junk comes barreling through the door so fast that you can blink it
There's no more room for gloom and doom, but let's fit one more inkjet
They just got rid of dinnerware, a silver and a pink set
So now to hoard an ancient sword, a blender and a mink set
Five garbage bags of someone's clothes, the sixth one's in the sink, wet
With lots of cans and pots and pans, we'll reach the jagged brink yet
They're trying to let go, said there ain't no space to think yet
They're workin hard to raise the bar, ain't worked out all the kinks yet
Pressed for time and low on space
****** I need to get out of this place...
Oct 4, 2015
Oct 4, 2015 at 12:10 PM UTC
Staying still
I try to drain
Every last
Little drop.
Tilting back, I
Grip the neck but
Don't break it, God forbid
I'm in no shape to clean up a mess
Though I'm an expert at making them,
I tell you what, I hate the television, all
those shiny happy people like in that
song I don't know the words to, but it's
obviously true, watching these shiny
happy lives with all of these beautiful
people who are probably ugly on the
inside, just like me, going home to sit
in their expensive new recliners and
grip the neck but don't break it, don't
make a mess that you can't clean up
drain every last drop even if you don't
really want it, 'cause it used to make
you feel much better, and now it's just
routine, like brushing your teeth and
trying to sleep and telling old friends
that you're fine, fine, just tired, so very
tired and I'm trying to stare through the
television to see these stupid phonies at
home in their own chairs, drinking from
a bottle like this one as if it might save
their sorry lives, like I'm trying to do
right now, tilting it back for just one
more drop, ****** there is no more
and I'm not done drinking but the neck
is slipping from my hands and I'm trying
to drink it down, **** it up when I let go
of the neck and drop it and there is a mess
for me to clean up, I tell you what, all that
broken glass and those elusive little drops
that could've made everything so much better,
could've fixed me but oh well, guess I can't
watch TV anymore, 'cause I've got a mess to
try to clean up right now, yes siree, guess
that even the shiny happy people have to
**** it up and fix it every now and then
just like me and you and everyone else.
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 17, 2018 at 1:22 PM UTC
I think you should know that when I say something stupid I do it because it makes you laugh
Sometimes I think that maybe, if not during, but maybe in between those moments where your chest shakes at my clumsiness, you'll think I'm cute again.
The first time you broke my heart I tried to ignore it, like maybe if you never happened, if I never even stopped to think about it, I wouldn't ever feel empty.
So picked up speed barely stopping to breathe
I didn't want to feel what it was to be broken
And I felt myself too young to make an mantra of you just yet
It was nine days before freshman year and I couldn't afford to look weak, but the wind beneath my wings teased the open wounds with a bad taste and you told me you missed me before I fell out of the sky.
Sometimes I wonder if we would have started differently would you still be by my side
The second time you broke my heart, I knew it was coming from the way it sat on my chest
And I tried to love myself back together but ****** kid, its like you knew exactly how to undo me
And I wanted to burn every song that made me think of you but they kept on playing new ones the radio until every love song made me want to cry. And I thought the wind would come for me again.
The second time you broke my heart, I wasn't nearly naive enough to try to pretend it wasn't happening. I let myself feel every vibration from each word that said I never made you happy
And I didn't understand how you got to be such a good liar.
I still turn off the radio when love songs come on sometimes but I've stopped waking up empty from thinking of you
so I think thats fair
When you kissed me, I almost couldn't help but kiss you back, but I couldn't sell my soul to cheap teenage instinct like that. So if being friends with you means you calling me stunning, Ill take it but I don't trust it.
Yesterday you said I made you happy, and I still have hard time trying not to believe you
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 5:19 PM UTC