The plane touched down after a long flight that was true torture the whiskey had long since ran dry the coke had left me with a headache and the movie was freaking me out ****** you twilight.
Had a seventeen year old girl chose this film that reminded me I needed to call my wife to tell her I couldnt pick her up after highschool.
Apon landing I was met by strange men all named bobby im guessing to be a cop here you had to all be related and named bobby fine with me.
These men unlike there many named brothers across the pond didnt have any wepons dear lord man wait a minute take mine what nice men these bobby clan were. what was even better was this magic land had the sense to give them all the same name so when you were drunk you wouldnt forget it. Why did we not do this the women as well.
Apon searching my always ghost town of a wallet one of the bobby clan replied hey you know skeeter to? Jesus I wont even comment on that.
Apon my exit from the airport i was greated by something that was a true blessing to any hungover eyes. No sun dear lord I also noticed these people had already been drinking. For they were all driving on the wrong side of the road. London was rainy cold and soon to be Gonzo.
My trip began like any good writer slash reporter slash honrny ******* drunks would begin at the liquor store. the bobby clan had taken my moonshine slash rocket fuel oh well least the plane wouldnt be the only thing flying tonight.
The strange little speaking man who drove the taxi rambled on as i applyed my social lubricate better known as ***** how i did miss wild turkey.
You fancey a ***? Sir your attractive but i dont swing that way. One thing seemed clear these people were all drunk it brought a tear to my eye I had finally found my people.
Wanna see the palace? Why not although after i had been to cessars this place seemed kinda odd how did they expect it to make any money with it all locked up?
Allthough the silent man outside with the black furry quetip hat was a draw. The strange big eared man i met in the garden after my well little fence hop hell being the human quetip didnt say anything I figured he wouldnt mind to much.
Well the big eared man was rather plessant after i offred him some whiskey sorry its a little weak thoose bobby boys took my good ****. No worries you crazy ******* wanna ***. ****** man Ive told you guys im straight.
After my exit and brief *** kicking seems thoose quetip people are silent but deadly my face soon kissed the pavement as one replied I belive him to be the one that wasnt special said thats what you get yank for speaking to the prince.
These people were worse than i thought I was a big fan of purple rain. dont belive a word that man said besides he's a racesist. never trust a man who can jump outta a airplane and glide to the ground unless he's dumbo.
One place to always seek refuge when in doubt was a pub least these people werent obsessed with if i was gay. yes like a man in a church filled with like minded crazy people i was home.
Sharing a booth with a strange man creature who called himself Keith something what a drunk genius he was indeed. rambling hours on end about **** I seldom understood. but as long as he was buying i was happy.
Poor guy seems he was in a band but with a name like the Rolling Stones how far could they go. after much more rambling and some bad jokes we were off me and my struggling guitar playing friend who dare I say it was on drugs I had met my true idol.
Always up for a prank we found areselves in he country loading a bmw full of horse crap when a old woman from the mansion did appear under the inffluence anger with pitch fork in hand.
As we fled as well as staggerd I asked my drunk pirate friend you know that old woman looked Paul Maccartney That is Paul Maccartney you ****** my sruggling sorta insane friend replied.
Running through the woods drunk at night is always fun aside from thoose dam trees. i was knocked flat as if i had been socked by skeeter as i came to there the legend stood overtop me pitch fork raised wait befor you **** me sir please can i have one last request.
I should have known Sir Paul replied happens all the time who should i make the autograph out to? ***** that amigo i pulled out my bible better known as my flask taking one last drink of fire water this was gonna ****.
When all the sudden a banshee's scream echoed in the forrest. ******* mate were done for sir Pauls fear was clear as the wet spot on the front of his pants.
Tree's rattled what kind of monsters did this country hold? the howl closer ****** Paul get of my back im not your old song writting buddy.
From the sky the bashee did appear but had little or no intrest in me The battle was epic the *** stained warrior put up valiant and tearful fight.
The kicker was when she removerd her leg like some sort of Brittish samuri all i can say is hot. She swung like Mickey Mantle or maybe it was mouse im not a big footall fan anyway.
Sir Paul knocked stone cold out the she demon turned her attention to me. And you! She howled her leg wepon raised high in the moonlight it was i know what your thinking romantic.
I deffended myself as best i knew how by falling to my knees crying pleading for my life dam you bobby clan were are you now.
But to my suprize she only laughed silly yank help me go through his pockets befor the old ******* wakes up. we searched finding many thing's hey whats this a flash light? ****** i should have known better than to look through a grown man's pockets. Had I not learned anything from my uncle.
The moon the she banshe with the removable leg My drunk struggling muscian friend from a little blues band it was a magic night indeed.
As I sit by the fire looking at it hanging over the mantle. I wonder when will i again return to this strange and Gonzo place. And how the hell I was gonna explain were that leg came from.
Untill next time kids stay crazy Gonzo
Always wanted to take a trip across the pond And never put a thing past me Forever Gonzo