Thou didst not *******
I came of my own accord
now you tell me that you're bored
how can I improve on my sweet Lord

Thou art a ruffian - unskilled in the
art of *******, no tantric ***
more like Titanic with a hex
I always know what's coming next

Who wrote my script and said that:
I wouldst love you no matter what?
maybe it was you more likely than not
I must be thankful, pretend with what I've got

Now thou art coming again - never mind my pain
why is it that my loss has to be your gain?

They say that if you're not doping you're no-hoping
but without it I can say that I'm more than coping
maybe sometimes I might take a Polska beer
be careful - even that might make you feel queer

I tried hash but then started running short of cash
when you suddenly need something you make a mad dash
there's always speed, coke and amphetamine
but if you don't surface, you'll know what I mean

You just can't beat a decent *******
to give you good head and instant elation
I took all these aids and put them in the bin
be sensible and don't even try to begin

If I want ecstasy - then I'll just make love
it's the best feeling from heaven above

They came for a half-term party
swarmed around me like instant charisma
wearing face-masks of Mourinho
I couldn't move - there was no place to go

I was taken back to when I was eighteen
misspent youth frittered away so they say
wished I was back there with them all
but it was gone - I couldn't any more

I couldn't be in love every other day
make outrageous comments, buy things on e-bay
not so many spots to pick at present
however, no jealousy, nothing to resent

I soaked up their bonhomie once more
gave a faint smile when I walked out the door

It had to come out but what was it all about?
there were thoughts of inner being and what
It was like seeing when everyone else was blind,
irreverent, scathing, acid and totally unkind;

But the words are unstoppable, flowing like
confetti, relentlees rhetoric no matter how petty,
the characters come to life like cardboard
cut-outs into action which they can't control

To rsist is useless as they take over your soul;
the critics said that the words touched on
the spiritual core of life, peeled away layers
just like a surgeon's knife; so amaze yourself

And add another literary masterpiece to your shelf,
because if you don't have words to spill - someone else will.

There's more if you want - an unending supply,
love, from the heart as big as the sky,
you're equipped to deal with stars and diamonds,
look too hard and you will find no reasons

My mother always wished for generous arms,
brothers and sisters queueing to take turns,
I did not wish because I already had -
my surroundings, my castle, my very own dad

There were outings, love and ice-cream,
an aura like nothing that you've ever seen;
now it's not enough - who is in denial?
perhaps after all we were only on trial

You can take over your soul if you dare,
where is it written that anything is fair?

I can make two paces forward, one to the side,
must win the day if you're to be my bride,
you gave me a garter on the edge of my lance,
I salute you whilst you watch my horse prance.

The castle alongside me was my refuge,
prizes of victory and esteem were huge,
my adversary glared at me with nasty hate,
I'd surveyed the scene, arrived in the lists late.

Bois - Gilbert looked familiar, reminded me of Justin G,
my pen is my sword, there was an air of finality,
we galloped towards each other, words in hand,
only room for one of us in my fair lady's land.

I will celebrate my victory with a flowing cup,
when I made contact with his body - he didn't get up.

The cascade was warm like Italian marble,
cleansing of spirit, wet, green and beautiful,
my outstretched hands were as though in prayer,
curtain opened showing coloured birds in the air.

Images flashed before me, a kaleidoscope,
they gave me warmth, they gave me hope,
I could stay here forever with closed eyes,
away from adversity, darkness, your goodbyes.

I did not need anything, alcohol nor nicotine,
now I knew everything, heaven, where I'd been,
I'd been asleep but now awoken by you,
I could not move - there was nothing I could do.

I was grateful, enlightened, happy to be,
enveloped by a wonderful liquid mystery.

My glass is half-full but I know where I'm coming from
how does time fly - it seems to when you're having fun
it's a game of two halves and I'm good in the second
I could have done better but still won I reckoned

I tried to second-guess but didn't come off best
you wish, in your dreams and all the rest
I've tried so hard but not in my back yard
how do I look - not too good in the leotard

I'm watching Peter Kay - what does that guy say?
by the time he get's to The Phoenix - they'll be closed, hey!
what you need is a make-over - so I had one
I looked like botoxed ******* when it was done

I've been compromised, unrecognized and my jewels
are oversized - I didn't ask to be circumsised

You came from The Cape of Good Hope
the land of proteas, frangipani and antelope
I was there but not in the seventeenth century
rather, I waited for you to arrive from history

Your dark violet blue flowers looked my way
as though they had something special to say
they said that you will deny me three times
whe you arrive in these wonderful climes

But there I was amongst beautiful flowers
amazing in the place where Shaw said:
that, 'They have no scent and the birds have
no song,' even great men err - he was wrong

I t was a time of transition, bright light
not only dark magical blooms but pure white

You have a wife and four daughters
and a colleague amongst your supporters
mindset engineered: you answer a question
with a question and indulge in light sensationalism

My wife befriends many people - a natural star
suddenly they're saying the same things that you are
ideas are pinched, put to use, there's no excuse
for queering my pitch - you stupid *****

No offence meant: I hold myself to account
who am I to hold court, judgemental nonsense
don't say anything, go sit yourself on the fence
come back to me when you have pounds, shillings and pence

Some commontators seem less than cool
it's doubtful if they could explain the offside rule

Now you're ready to go and knock 'em dead
ever since you read 'War and Peace'
you ran up a hill shooting wild geese
depression lifted - such a happy release

You sat bolt upright in the middle of the night
couldn't wait to get out there, that's alright
do what you want to do, nothing held back
I've given you purpose - now you'll have the knack

of sussing things out, see what life's about
from now on you will have no more doubt
I see you jumped on a horse - ruffled
someone's hair as a matter of course you did, you beaut

I'm watching to see how you'll get on
the golden dust you leave will be long gone

Someone may look like me but that's
as far as it goes: no further, no less
my own DNA, biometric reading, oh! yes
A genetic fingerprint all of my own

My characteristics definitely home - grown
I wish I had thicker eyebrows, more
muscular body, more intelligence and
behave less oddly, but I think of the

good things and rely on others to tell
me what they are - not too many, I don't
really want to be a star, just me -
sort of reliable, sort of always there

I' m glad I have the time to stand and stare
you may think I'm odd - but there's only one me -
thank God!

From the calm to the rough, the going was tough
you wondered if you were made of the right stuff
there was a foot on the porthole so it stayed
the sea pulsed by, the colour of frothy jade

'Don't you drop ash on the sail,' the captain said
it will shred in the wind and we'll all be dead'
no sooner that we were out, we had returned
extinguished the *** before the sail burned

My world had been fourteen feet, I'm now discrete:
about how bad things can be to everyone I meet
about the images that came before me
my lone battle with the tempestuos sea

It was nothing but to me everything
amazing the peace calm water could bring

How much sport have I missed because of you
why do you wake me up when I want to sleep
you say: 'Come and eat before the food gets cold'
'You don't love me any more,' I've been told

We have to go to the in-laws, the bores
I don't want to go on any more guided tours
you asked me to love you when I was mowing the lawn
all this veggie stuff - I don't like quorn

I was only joking - don't think it's real
why do I have to struggle thro' too big a meal
how do I look - you never look at my face
your clothes are fine - I know nothing about lace

You say: 'I'm doing it wrong - move your weight'
and I  get a real bollocking if I'm too late

Did you love me the way I wanted it to be
was I stroked and caressed diligently
or were you too tired to do things properly
It was just an excuse it seemed to me

I want you to hold me and lift my head back
then I can gasp with pleasure in the sack;
remember the passion and love long ago
you held me, we lingered above and below

There was the adrenalin rush, expectation
we couldn't wait to kiss, the magic and elation
now I have to remind you - am I a bore?
I just want the way it used to be before

Tell me you love me as tho' you really mean it
I want all of those good times back bit by bit.

I've just seen a house worth a million pounds
but not every thing is as rosy as it sounds
I have no sour grapes or jealousy - only
wistful thoughts it seems to me - that,  

My sad longing is only for what I
already have: a small space, a friendly
face that doesn't carp and amusement
over things that will not work, I don't need

a deck as an extra perk, the crunch
of gravel that sounds like the beach
is there anyone who wants to teach
me a new style? Perhaps, when I've made

my pile; I'll wear my best cothes on a
Sunday afternoon - if you want to impress,
give me the moon.

There is no driver - go anywhere for a fiver
Pod - cars troll Milton Keynes by no means
seen piloted in four years time - where's mine?
Then they come together in the land of never - never

The sat-nav tells us where we're going
ready to alight when it's finally slowing
what will they think of next? Send a text
with your suggestion - normality's in regression

No one is to blame when there's an accident
nothing is seen to describe an incident
however, at least no one can go on strike
and I won't be reduced to travel by bike

The atmosphere is electric, technology hectic
it was bad enough when we decided to go metric!

It was time to do some re - structuring
In - house changes were necessary to bring
about better performance, modernization
otherwise we'd be left behind with no motion

He spent his time leaning on a *****
doing nothing, not good enough we're afraid
then a quiz programme with as much charisma
as a wet fish - now we wouldn't want to be churlish

However, contract has expired, you're fired
from your duties - we're moving on to new things
anything must be better than what dullness brings
we may not use your services again -going

'Well gentlemen, that's another one gone
who shall we get rid of next so long.'

I strolled out on the lawn and looked at the view
didn't I see Fleming, Steinbeck and Miller too
illustrious company in the fading light
and further, J. P. Donleavy was out of sight

They were commercial, deep, with ****** soliliquy
and down below, J.P. described a strange anomaly
let's write together, fight together like a ghost
when it's done, I'll tell you what I like most

I like Pirsig, Phaedrus with a bit of Zen thrown in
although have to be fresh without being maudlin
now sadness, pathos is a whole new ball game
every time that we write, it was never the same

Sadness for me was alone and different for you
we all agreed to differ as the sky turned indigo blue

The Brits are good at queueing
the Yanks are good at sueing
Italians are good at wooing
and I don't know what I'm doing  

If no one tells me while I'm waiting
time waits for no man only destiny
the French are good at rugby
enthusiastic, they might even hug me

The Australians are good at everything
didn't they used to be English - sickening
the Indians are very good at curry
but now we can get it in Surrey

Terrorists are no good to man nor beast
now just tell me what you like least.

Phaedrus was always there: before and after
In this life and the next there was always laughter
which one was wearing the white robe, it didn't matter
when they came, the crowd would always scatter

'Ah, Phaedrus, my old friend - would you wish to be me?'
'No, master - how could I emulate you and the things you do?'
'But you are a philosopher who travels between civilizations -
I would wish to learn from your soul and inclinations.'

'I learn from the Son of God always - your spirit guides
and nothing hides, even the very core of existence rides
on what you have to say and even what you don't say
beacause you are always with me to this very day.'

'Ah Phaedrus, we shall always meet - see the holes in my feet
and hands, remember them, in deserts and distant lands.'

Were you given a star at school for good work?
a smiley face, very good or well done was a perk
I took all of these smiley faces into my soul
guaranteed for life to sustain my future role

Remember how art caught you out - I made a mess
and yet disaster was suddenly made good - more or less
now, woodwork led me to a great cutting edge
being allowed to take home my work was a privilege

metalwork taught me that flux was softer than butter
the words that arose within me - if only I could utter
mathematics made me figure things out - nothing I would lack
but when the master saw my red socks - he said: 'Get to the back.'

Then there was English - the best language to swear in,
such great enlightenment and depth will never come again

O' Casey had been told where the meeting was
senior members of the IRA would attend
he didn't know and thought that MI6 would be there
duped into assassination was a dangerous masterstroke
others knew that he was dissatisfied with the hierarchy
so if it transpired, he would be a likely target
If the real resaon was found, they would never forget
the old mainland action would be re-ignited
and the Brits cleverness found to be short-sighted
the peace process was a sham, arms locked away
Adams and McGuinness in suits, smug faces
while they postulated and mixed in high places
'You realize what were doing?' The ***** said
'Rather, let them carry on with their empty head.'

There was not a lot to worry about so
nothing could be held up without it being sold
Faberge' brushed shoulders with art deco pieces
money paid guaranteed immediate releases

The reps had phones to their ears getting the nod
there was a clown's outfit which was rather odd
because the clown was still inside - did the body come too?
or was it to be stripped naked like me and you?

We have lost everything - it's all in the room
there was a smile from a man leaning on a broom
I want my sofa back, my favourite armchair
the bed we made love in where you lay bare

Even your smile was for sale, admired from afar
golf clubs, personal effects, my teeth in a jar

God gave out parts to play - so they say
that there has to be a lover, a villian and a mother
someone moaning, groaning and lost out to another
It was time, the curtain rose - never to fall again

Scene one saw someone taking a bite out of a fruit
the beginning and the end because evil was the root
Instruction was given to go forth and multiply
when it was realized unstoppable God gave a sigh

Scene two began with someone waving a fly swatter
relating stories and tales of when empires began to totter
God thought about bringing the curtain down quickly
he considered all of his work - what of the outcome finally?

The last act returned to the way everything was before
except that there was no tree with apples any more

Your lips were open - pursed to say something
whatever it was got lost in the excitement
whatever it was there was no remission
there had to be something that gave permission

There were good spots but you never knew which was best
you could see mountains and valleys along with the rest
pictures of sea urchins and anemones on the wall
spiders from Mars covering the ends of it all

They danced and frolicked standing on guard
to get past them you needed something hard
but it was easier to pass thro' the eye
of a needle than to enter the kingdom of heaven

God gave us pleasure to pursue at our leisure
it was always rewarding to find buried treasure

My companion has no clothes to speak of -
no odours, no form, only shape from being
born from flat ground - transparent in the round;
an open guide that pulls you from the inside
to a new plane not seen before - straight
thro' any solid door; where is this place
I've been escorted to? Encouraged and
gently led a long way above my head
seems familiar a a long time ago - the pace
of life here is very slow, timeless
airless, a pale hue - my Fair Isle pullover
must be a clue; seem smaller now
everyone taller just as ghostly friends dance
It appears that I've been given a second chance

Marmalade where are you now? In
the jar on the breakfast table -
preserved for all to see but gradually
going down - until there's nothing left
of you or centre or top or bottom
only a brush tail, maybe two as
your friend was with you - when you
were put inside, I remember how you
and all of us cried, it was quite a
squeeze getting you both in but
finally it was done and the lid
firmly put in place - one after another
a sad face wedged against the glass -
only temporary as all things come to pass

We met for three days and then she had to
return to the Far East - what I liked least
then she wrote and said that she loved me
the scene was set for our love story

We wrote hiundreds of letters, personal
uninhibited, sent and licked before the ink was dry
We meant every word, made love in the air
wonderful when someone says that they really care

She came to me and gave up everything
her heart and radiant smile were mine
to love and cherish, endear, for all time
now I think of her every time I write a line

Many years later it's like acting out a play
we are the stars in the sky till this very day

Someone's speaking rhetoric - do they want
an answer? Maybe not and when you ask them
they seem to have forgot, in denial and afraid
of being on trial; biting sarcasm reduces one

To a spasm, two into a chasm and three has 'em
in a box, cornered like a nervous runnig fox
I'll hold off and have some compassion - I think
today I've given all my ration: greatness is

Born from tolerance, modesty, knowledge, intuition
and honesty but most important is knowing when
to administer a degree of each - am I good enough
to teach this homespun philosophy - of course not

Keep your thoughts to myself, don't bore you and me -
come back one day when you have your PhD

Just imagine that you're standing on a hill looking down
there before you is everything that you didn't own
no one wanted to see you and remembered your song
what you did, the way you conducted yourself was wrong

And yet - there is contrition born out of this condition
even tho the doubters would wish for an explanation
you can't give them one, you are what you've always been
which is a signature in different shades of green

You walked the colonnades and people began to stare
then the whispers: 'You see, isn't that him over there?'
It is no matter - everyone is changed now, mellow somehow
you have to live, try to give, not encounter a silly row

We may all be together again - the way I have returned
and then we'll see just how much we've all really learned

I have everything - what do you have?
a loving wife, possessions - how about obsessions?
wishing for a younger woman, unlimited ***
conversational recognition to give you ignition

Put them aside - you had so many opportunities
they're gone - now grow up where you belong
you have dark moods, impatient, wished you were elsewhere
It's not the amswer - the answer is right before you

Transparent as the air that blows and caresses
your shoulders - only you have to take it under your wing
before the time is gone - even then you will be
holding hands walking together with your old smiles

You could start again - but it's best the way it was
there are no reasons - great love is simply because

I saw the planets on the wall -
a horse, an elephant and a snake magical
they had numbers which were important
one to five, two to nine, five to eight heaven sent

My birth date, car and house number put down
added, reduced, disected by a master of renown
I was told that there were bad and good dates
the best times for which everyone waits

I was given hope - told not to be concerned
there was more to come after things you'd learned
after God working in his mysterious ways
there was good fortune ahead in future days

I had my share, plenty, now it's your turn
your best interests at heart are our true concern

It was time for a messenger from above
not with malice but surprisingly with love
there were things to do - new guidelines to set
people to reassure when they peeped over the parapet

Depression was lifted, everyone told they were gifted
reminded that they had drifted from God's plan
I am different from you therefore I do not approve
you are the same, there is no change in your mind

There are games - even then you fight, I will raise
your tolerance to a new height: you will laugh
when you lose, even embrace when you see joy in a face
that sets the tone for more serious things -

Removing hate, historical discension, time to move on -
now I'm gone, my work is complete - don't let me down

Hey! How are you? Better since the last time I spoke?
Of course you are - I'm watching from afar
let's think of some nice things for you to do -
get in the bath, put a hot sponge over your eyes

I'm fine, still full of nonsense and dope (not drugs)
I'd like to see you smile, radiate, give you hope
spoil yourself, do things you like, have some ice cream
and chocolate, indulge, maybe get on your bike

Have a tequila to make you feel good for a while,
(not too many) maybe a smoke - only one, don't spoil the fun,
push aside some things for the moment: money, ***,
partners, job, family, health - give yourself a treat.

I'll write once more, you know me, words just pour
if you ever need me, send a message, open my door

All I have to do is touch your
A, B, C, D or G spot more likely than not,
like simulation, a fake dive, fifty shades,
it seems to be too easy to gain accolades.

Credit where credit is due, I love you too,
I don't like engineered repetition,
lack of imagination, cashing in on a ride,
don't be incredulous at the unstoppable tide.

All's fair they say in love and poetry,
but there should be limits it seems to me
that we're lacking a little mystery,
where's your raw talent - lost so easily.

We don't all want to get too impressed,
because even you out there may not know what's best.

When all seems lost - take stock of everything,
there was a way which positive thinking might bring,
black became green, red became yellow and said hello,
God looked after you and monitored all you might do;

If you adjust your mindset you can gain success,
It's like a business seminar when more doesn't become less,
you see the guy standing there - saying: 'Yes, I was
like you once - suspicious, wary - solutions were scary.'

Do you know where your going to? Answers may vary -
so you took all these pearls of wisdom and then some,
and waited for manna from heaven, nirvana to come,
not always but sometimes fortune drifted into your kingdom.

Don't despair, help is at hand by strange means or fair,
whichever way it comes after all, someone does care.

Some may have stood here better than me,
there were winners and losers fading history,
some were so good - they brought a tear,
they brought laughter, beauty to everyone here.

I've tried to keep up, tried to go beyond,
amazing what comes when you wave your magic wand,
stardust becomes a must - something you can trust,
the result may not always be right but just.

Strangely fair that you should arrive at a solution,
in the beginning there was light beyond evolution;
I salute my fellow writers, their determination,
their bravado pursuing heights for so long.

I am with you - will be forever, you know me,
and one day you may achieve immortality.

I read the personal ads in the Indian magazine,
people looking for partners like a king and a queen,
the men are always handsome, ladies with gsoh,
how attractive they all were was just a rumour.

I replied to one which I thought might be fun,
we both agreed to meet to see what could be done:
She said, 'Your white, not brown.'
I said, 'That you must look lovely with your hair down.'

She asked: 'Do you speak Hindi, Tamil or Punjabi?'
I said, 'No, but you're speaking English - that's all I need to know,'
She asked, 'Do you own a house, have a good job and a car?'
I said, 'Yes,' to all but there was no bar.

We went for a ride in the country: We said, 'Yours or mine.'
We knew that it was best if we tried them one at a time.

Thanks to ayurvedic treatment my hair has grown long,
as I'm so successful, the products can't be wrong,
when I make love, my hair is as long as the bed,
just as wide - my suitors are attentive and easily led.

They said that they could imagine my hair spread
out on a pillow which vanshed below my good head,
we don't need a blanket - we just cover our skin,
musn't forget to remove my clips before we begin.

It has actually become an aid for great pleasure,
maybe even more lustrous, the next time I measure,
I can twine and  bind just about anything nearby,
there was so much magic - I didn't even have to try.

When I finally cut which may be my partner's decision,
someone else can go to bed with a beautiful extension!

A man named Skinner came to dinner,
with knife poised to attack any so-called sinner,
where did his acerbic attitude come from I wonder,
it was not fair that he should cast any man asunder.

To be frank, he was the one who should work harder,
then, there may be more pleasantries stocked in his larder,
perhaps a change of heart is beyond some of us,
but if you don't - we won't let you on the bus.

We won't let you have any credibility,
until you gain some compassion and humility,
put your silly knife away described as fun,
otherwise we'll lock you up in the Tower of London.

You don't deserve accolades with your set of blades,
We won't waste our time as your pathetic memory fades.

'I'm going to run away Miss - I'm taking
a t-shirt and a pound of ham with me,'
he wanted his dad, how very sad - that
little boy was barely a lad, treated bad.

My dad said that I shouldn't show anyone
my private parts, only my sister saw me,
she said: 'What's that?' I said: 'It's my *****,'
'It's got a hat on and looks so silly.'

'Where's daddy gone?' 'He's in heaven Billy,'
'Do they have a pub there?' 'No, only holy water,'
'Where do babies come from? Does the stork
bring them, is that why they have a big beak?'

'He hit me in the 'smalls' Miss, and that
boy who smells said that he wants to give me a kiss.

I REGRET NOT LOVING YOU WHEN YOU WANTED ME TO,
TIME IS PRECIOUS WHATEVER YOU MAY DO,
WE SHOULD HAVE GONE TRAVELLING AT EVERY CHANCE,
IT WAS A PITY SOMETIMES THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO DANCE.

I REGRET GOING AWAY WHEN I SHOLD HAVE STAYED,
THE SILLY THINGS YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE AFRAID,
YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT GOING, BEEN A MAN,
NOT LIKE THE COMIC BOOK FIGURE OF DESPERATE DAN.

SO MANY TIMES THINGS HAVE GONE YOUR WAY,
BUT TIME IS RUNNING OUT, SO THEY SAY
THAT HOW MANY CHANCES DO YOU NEED BEFORE YOU BLEED,
HOW MANY MISTAKES DO YOU MAKE BEFORE YOU HEED.

THE TIME HAS GONE - I MUST NOW LOOK CAREFULLY AHEAD,
AFTER ALL, I'M **** LUCKY TO STILL BE IN YOUR BED.

I WANT YOU - I'M HERE AS ALWAYS,
LET'S THINK OF YOUR DAY TODAY - THEY SAY
THAT A WALK IN THE SUN IS GOOD, CAST
OTHER THINGS ASIDE - I KNOW YOU CRIED.

I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO;
ANNE TALKS SO MUCH THAT I NEARLY MISSED THE GULF WAR,
YOU SEE, WE HAVE TO DEAL - I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL,
HOW DO I KNOW? I'VE BEEN THERE, I'VE FELT LOW.

I'LL WRITE A WORD NOW AND THEN - IF I
HEARD YOU CRY - PICK UP 'COMFORT,' YOU'LL KNOW
I'M THERE - YOU'LL SAY: 'WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
I SAY: 'THINK OF GREEN AND RED - NO MORE BLUE.

THINK OF ORANGE AND PINK - HOW NICE YOU LOOK,
YOU'LL WONDER WHY JUST HOW LONG IT TOOK.'

WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS A ******
WITH AN ESKIMO? ANSWER: YOU GET A MASSIVE
VASSAL WITH A PASSIVE TASSEL AND A FRIGID
****** WITH WITH A RIGID DIGIT. COLD COMFORT.

DO YOU LIKE IT IN CIDER? THERE WAS A BIG
BLACK HAIRY SPIDER WHICH CHASED JUSTIN G.,
DON'T YOU SEE THAT'S SO COOL - SO APRIL FOOL!
OF THE NILE A JEWEL, NOW I'LL DROOL AT YOUR POOL.

I MUST BE EMOTIONALLY OFF COURSE, OF COURSE
IT'S NICE TO EXPAND YOUR HORIZON, PUT EYES ON
DIFFERENT THINGS, DIG INTO WHAT'S BENEATH, YOU
MAY NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT'S ABOVE YOU UNTIL
SOMEBODY SAYS THAT THEY LOVE YOU.

LET'S HAVE SOME NO SADNESS, LOTS OF GLADNESS
EVEN THO' THERE MAY BE **** IN MY MADNESS.

A LADY BOOK CRITIC WENT TO INTERVIEW
A LEADING JAPANESE AUTHOR - SHE WAS EXCITED
AT MEETING THE GREAT MAN AND PREPARED
MANY QUESTIONS WHICH SHE WISHED TO ASK HIM.

THE MAJOR INQUIRY WAS: 'WHERE DO YOU GET
YOUR IDEAS FROM? WHAT INSPIRES YOUR WORK?'
HE REPLIED: 'MY DEAR,' HE SAID, GIVING HER A
WITHERING LOOK, 'I JUST PLUCK MY IDEAS FROM
THE SKY AND IN MY EXPERIENCE NEVER WONDER WHY.'

SHE WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED AND REFUSED TO READ
ANY OF HIS WORK FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS.

PERHAPS CRITICS SHOULD HAVE MORE INSIGHT -
A LEADING TV REVIEWER WAS FULL OF FILM NOIR
AND FANCY WORD WHICH ONLY SERVED TO MAKE HIM  SOUND ABSURD.

NOT ALL POETRY SHOULD BE ABOUT DEPRESSION,
LOVE, WIND AND TEA-CUPS - I PREFER TO BE
THE DONALD TRUMP OF THE POETRY WORLD:
SEEMINGLY ILLITERATE, OBSCENELY DISSOLUTE,
UNINFORMED, SOCIOPATHICAL AND FALSELY MAGICAL;
SOMEONE SAID THAT, 'WE HAVE A DUTY TO
IMPART KNOWLEDGE,' I DID NOT ENTIRELY AGREE,
NOT ALL OF US ARE SUITABLY QUALIFIED AND THOSE
WHO ARE NOT MAY PASS ON THEIR OWN MISTAKES;
A TEACHER MISSPELT THE WORD '*******,'
AND NOW HALF THE TOWN IS WRITING THE WORD
BOLLUCKS INCORRECTLY; THOSE WHO CAN, DO AND
THOSE WHO CAN NOT, JOIN THE RADIO -LIKE CERTAIN
PRESENTERS, IT RINGS, WHO SEEM TO HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF ALL THINGS.

REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE FLOATING IN THE SKY,
SO FAR ABOVE THE GROUND WHEN YOU COULD FLY,
THE COLOURS WERE GREENY BLUE WITH A LIGHT HUE,
YOU COULD NOT LAND, THERE WAS NOTHING YOU COULD DO.

REMEMBER HOW THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE,
NOTHING TO TOUCH YOU AND NO ONE TO SHAKE,
YOU COULD SEE JANE WATERING THE GARDEN FLOWERS,
IT WAS EASY TO GUIDE WHEN YOU HAD SPECIAL POWERS.

A WHISPER IN THE EAR PRODUCED A YELLOW BREEZE,
MADE THEM BELIEVE AND GET DOWN ON THEIR KNEES,
I BLEW A FLUFFY CLOUD AND GAVE THEM ALL RAIN,
IT PASSED QUICKLY AND THEN THE SUN CAME AGAIN.

I REMEMBERED IT ALL WHEN I WAS A BOY,
NOW THERE'S NO MORE TIME LEFT TO FLY AND ENJOY.

THE CURTAINS WERE SHORT BUT WE DIDN'T WANT TO ABORT,
RATHER, WE WOULD CONTINUE WITH OUR LIFE, THE WIFE
SAID: 'SOME THINGS IN LIFE ARE SHORT AND MUST BE ENJOYED,'
NO NEED TO BE ANNOYED AND TRAPPED IN A CONTINUAL VOID;
WHEN YOU WASH YOUR LIFE IT WILL DROP TO THE RIGHT LENGTH,
A NEW VISION, EVERYTHING YOU NEVER KNEW, WHAT YOU COULD DO,
THEN IT WOULD COME AGAIN, NOT A CREASE, A NEW LEASE,
NOW WE HAVE ANOTHER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE YEARS, CHEERS!
I SEE THE FOLDS, ONE AND A HALF TIMES, IT RHYMES
WITH CARING, STARING AND GLARING, A NEW BEARING,
THERE'S NEW HOPE - WE WOULDN'T WANT ANY DOPE, WOULD WE?
TTHE SONG'S NEARLY SUNG - IT'S GOOD EVERYTHING'S WELL HUNG,
NO NEED TO TRIM, AHEM, CONSIDER THE TIES THAT BIND,
I'M NOT GETTING UP THERE - NEXT TIME WE'RE HAVING BLINDS.

EVERYTHING IS NORMAL, NOTHING IS RIGHT,
ARE SOME THINGS BEST KEPT OUT OF SIGHT?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU - I THINK IT'S
BELOW YOU, I CAN'T STOP WHAT YOU WANT TO DO;
ONLY GOD WILL DECIDE ON THE THINGS WHICH
YOU MIGHT LIKE TO HIDE - IF YOU BELIEVE?
IF NOT - YOU ARE BEYOND REBUKE, CAN
NOT BE TOUCHED AND ANSWERABLE ONLY TO
YOURSELF; HOWEVER, FATE CAN TAKE A HAND,
SCATTER GRAINS OF SAND TO FAR FLUNG
CORNERS AND HEM YOU IN LIKE ANIMALS
WAITING TO DIE - NO ESCAPE, NO MATTER HOW
HARD YOU TRY; REMEMBER, WE CARE FOR YOU -
AND WHAT YOU DARE TO DO BUT JUST WHO ARE YOU?