How much sport have I missed because of you
why do you wake me up when I want to sleep
you say: 'Come and eat before the food gets cold'
'You don't love me any more,' I've been told

We have to go to the in-laws, the bores
I don't want to go on any more guided tours
you asked me to love you when I was mowing the lawn
all this veggie stuff - I don't like quorn

I was only joking - don't think it's real
why do I have to struggle thro' too big a meal
how do I look - you never look at my face
your clothes are fine - I know nothing about lace

You say: 'I'm doing it wrong - move your weight'
and I  get a real bollocking if I'm too late