I woke up this morning,
expecting the same as always,
no answers.

So, that's the reason when I checked my emails,
I started crying,
No. These weren't tears of sadness.
These were tears of happiness.
Of getting something after wanting it for so long.

He is back.
And he replied to me.
Today, 1/14/2014 , he replied and he's back!

I will no longer wake up with a tear stained face,
or have nightmares about things,
and today, no one can take my happiness away,

Because he's back.
My chocolate, A.H. is back. :)

Anger filled emotions,
Sharp words fall out.
Cutting and tearing you apart,
Silently you bleed out.

Broken smiles, broken hearts
Broken dreams and broken jars.
All shattered into a million pieces,
Cut you with their jagged edges.

Smiles to show your beauty and glee,
Hearts given for safekeeping,
Dreams to keep you shooting out for,
And Jars to keep your cookies in.

Knowing it's wrong we fall again and again,
Tormenting ourselves with so much pain.
But with that same pain comes the happiness,
Just hard to forget at the end, when there's nothing else left.

When I was younger I was told that things
change quickly; things change drastically
and so I should live in the moment and
enjoy today to the fullest.

I was told that the sunshine quickly turns
into a hurricane, and that hurricane quickly
turns into a rainbow, and everything changes
without a warning or rest.

Past few days I've realized how true that is,
and how sorry I am, but also how thankful
I am, for every second spent, every memory,
every beautiful moment.

Things change, but the love never goes away.

I've followed you for such a long time,
your play with words are what bring me back to Hello Poetry every once in a while,
And today, when I sat scrolling through your work,
I just couldn't stop.
Oh no. Couldn't stop but I tried,
And I felt like a creep so I stopped halfway or so,
and I just wanted to let you know that when I read
what you wrote, it made me smile.
Your work is beautiful and I truly believe you have magical powers
for when your fingertips touch the keyboard, I am sure golden sparks fly
and work their magic,
for what you write is simple, yet incredible,
touching and relate-able
and most importantly, I feel,
so very powerful.
I've been so stressed about tomorrow,
            that I forgot to live today.
I repeat, so very powerful.
And your words inspire me,
And make me feel such strong emotions,
and although I don’t know you,
you make me wish I had someone willing to write for me,
and I hope you no longer have to feel the heartache and sadness you sometimes write about
and that you are able to smile.
But if you find yourself stuck someday and find no reason to smile,
remember that your words have moved me, and made me smile,
which in itself is a reason for you to smile,
for being able to move a stranger through your words is quite a great reason for happiness.

Turn back the time on your wrist watch,
It's getting late, go to bed.
Don't stay up,
It'll take me a bit too long,
And I just might never get done with this.

The gentle hum of the airplane passing by
Is loud at the beginning
But then it gets so faint that I have to strain myself to hear it.
It's there for a while and then it gets fainter and fainter,
Until it just disappears.

And when I look up at the sky,
It just looks perfectly normal and clear with no trace of the airplane
Like the airplane never flew through it,
Like it never existed,
Like the gentle hum was all just an illusion.

And that faded away plane reminds me of you,
How the sound was gentle and loud in the beginning,
Like our conversation when we first started talking,
And then it was gentle and started to fade away,
Getting fainter and fainter with every passing moment,
Exactly how you slipped away from me.

Until there was nothing left except memories.
And then I start to question whether they even existed, and
Did we really used to talk or did I just dream about that?

And now the memories are like the airplane.
Gentle and loud,
And then they get fainter,
Harder to remember,
Slipping away slowly,
Until there's nothing left.
And then you just remember the airplane vaguely but any other memories of it have faded away into nothing.

And now,
You wont even
say a word to me.
Soon again,
I'll have to
Face my biggest
Fear.
I'll be forgotten.
Yet again.
By yet another
Person who
Mattered so much.

Not just the blue river of endless desire,
but the stark redness of the burning fire,
eating up the logs; the flames swallowing them,
like what I do to get rid of the dry throat
I get just from seeing you.
You stop in front of me and let your eyes wander
and I look at you as you quietly will me to
do things I've never thought of doing.
You pull my shirt off over my head and our
arms tangle into each other as though we're playing
a two player game of knots. We try to untangle
our hands but instead our legs get involved, and our
bodies are a mess on your bed as I pull your shirt off
over your head. Our breathing flows on in rapid gasps as
if we're scared we'll somehow get so caught up in each other
that we'll forget to breathe.
Your hands on my body as it roams everywhere, stroking every
flaw on my body, and suddenly, they start to feel beautiful. And
like that fire, your touch burns my body, leaving a trail of
tingle wherever you touch, and I knew right then that the
only thing that'll make this burning better is more of that
very same touch.
And maybe I'm a ******* because I like this pain you inflict
on me and I know I can't have you but I can't stop myself
from wanting you.
And I know I might be selfish 'cause this blue river that flows
on, I don't want to share it's water with anyone in this world,
except for you.

These days, I feel like time is moving too fast for me. Too dang fast.
Everybody comes and goes out of my life, Always.
without the blink of an eye. You included
Break those promises wont you? You said you'd never do that. Look at what's happened now

Maybe I should stop caring. Just let it all fade away. It'll be Peaceful maybe
I did try didn't I? I kept trying. I still am trying. It's really hard.
If this doesn't work, what will? I want you to stay but I'll have to let you go
Will you ever realize how much you're hurting me? As long as you're happy I guess.
You don't even know any of this. And I wont tell you either.

I wish I was strong enough to throw a fit and scream and yell I wanna let go.
but no sounds come out of my mouth when I try. Why is this happening?
So instead of going through all that trouble, "It'll get better."
I just put up a smile on my face, try to make it seem genuine, "It'll be okay."
and walk around with that fake smile. *You lie.

if i could think about you without it leaving me all choked up,
i would think about the promises you made to me,
the ideas you planted,
the smile you smiled at me,
and the way you laughed; so light hearted.

if i could talk to you and tell you all i think about,
i would tell you about how you're always on my mind,
every freaking day like 24/7,
the way you look at me when you talk,
your gaze is mesmerizing.

if i could just see you one more time
i would ask you to hug me the way
you used to before we messed up,
and i would close my eyes and wish for you
all the happiness in this world.

Because, although i don't love you anymore,
i still care about you.
And no matter what I do,
or how hard I try,
I could never stop caring.

On the winter night of December,
A girl sits near the fireplace with her mother,
The mother on an armchair with the girl's head on her lap,
Slowly caressing her hair, as they talk.

"My Dear little girl, I love you so much,
I want you to have a perfect life.
You'll face hardships and sorrow, happiness and joy,
But through it all, hold your head high and never forget to smile.

"Never run away from your problems and such,
Speak the truth as it's all worth
It, at the end you'll have no fear or regret,
And you'll remember everything with a big smile on your face.

"You'll have to pass many tests,
But no matter what, we'll always be there,
For you, my precious little jewel, are worth
Dying for, and I'll protect you for as long as I can."

Quietly listening, the girl speaks now,
"Oh mother, I love you too. I'll never forget the things you've said.
And I hope you hear me clear and loud,
For one day, my dear mother, I'll make you proud."

Am I turning more like her with every passing second?

Everything is jumbled in my head,
Nothing makes sense at all.
It's like I'm awake but I'm still dreaming.
I'm in the middle of a crowd,
But I'm still all alone.

They ask me what's wrong, all I can say is, "Honestly,
I can't express myself right now, forgive me."
I don't even know what's going on,
I used to think that life was easy, that you just live till it's time to leave,
But boy, I never realized how hard it is to do just that.
Live, till it's time to leave.

Lights everywhere. Twinkling and shining.
Some shining bright like the sun,
those lights remind me of your eyes,
Some twinkling, almost like they're shy to be seen, like you.

Your eyes were a mixture of both the bright and twinkling lights,
You didn't like being seen ,
though even when you didn't want it, you'd get the attention.
Just like the stars.
At times, I like to assume that stars don't want to be seen,
that's the reason they keep twinkling, almost like illuminated eyes, blinking.
Wanting to see the world, so they open their eyes,
Then realizing that their eyes are bright and not wanting the attention,
they close their eyes.
It's an endless cycle. Repetition all the way.
Not wanting anyone to notice, but getting noticed anyways.

You were so close, yet so far.
I had so much to say to you,
So much to apologize for,
But i never got a single word out,
Before you disappeared into the dark.
You're just gone. It's like you never existed.
All I have now, are faded memories, which I cling on to
as if they were my life line, the string holding me together.
I wake up with a hope that maybe, you'll reply today.
Maybe, you'll come back today.
Slowly, days pass. One month, two months, three months, four months.
You're gonna be 17 soon. You're probably freaking out.
Or you're excited like anything.
Don't worry, you'll be the most amazing 17 year old in this entire world.
17 years old.
I haven't forgotten yet, no. You were always older than me,
and I always asked you to stop there, stop for a while and let me catch up with you.
You'd laugh. And I'd smile at the sound of your laughter.
So angelic and calming. So nice. It made me happy, your laughter did.
Oh all the memories I have are so precious. So **** precious.
It may not mean much to you, but I still remember and have every single word you ever said to me,
every single song you ever dedicated to me,
every single smile you ever shared with me,
everything. I have folded each and every memory, neatly
and put them away inside a box, stored in the back of my mind.
The lovely sunrises we talked about, the riverside tranquility,
the funny incidents in your life,
the inspiration you had,
the way I imagined your topaz eyes would sparkle,
the way everything fit so perfectly,
the way we'd "Knucklebump" all the time,
oh all of the memories stay with me, love,
in the back of my mind.
Sometimes I wish I could let everything go,
scream your name till I'm out of breath,
maybe the world will scream with me and you'll hear?
Hah. Who am I kidding?
The faces you'd make.
The walks through the forest right next to your house,
the times you'd spend on your balcony, just sitting on that swing,
talking to me, with a cup of warm coffee on your hand,
the times you'd be so immersed in a book, with your eyes scrunched up in concentration,
How you loved the thunderstorms.
Love, you're the strongest person I know.
Been through so much, yet you still go on, still have so much inspiration,
so much motivation, such a drive to succeed.
You never give up.
Chocolate,
Smile.

*knucklebump

While everybody else focused on the rain drops,
she focused on the distance between rain drops that
had touched the Earth and
rain drops that were yet to touch the Earth.
She didn't focus on what she could not change.
She did not focus on the past.
She focused on the possibilities held by the future;
she focused on what she could change,
which is why

She never focused on the raindrops;
she focused on the distance between them.

Is it that hard to keep your promise?

Sing song chirp of sparrow
Loud against the beautiful budding buds.
Snow covered pond with melting ice;
First day of spring.

Crunching snow under padding feet
Smooth slick ice coats the pavement.
Slippery unintended ice-skating with laughter;
First day of spring.

Lung inhales chilly warm air
Wind swish away the snowflakes.
Misty crystal dance under the sunlight;
First day of spring.

The awkward silences we have
scream out to me.
You probably don't realize it as you're talking to her
But it screams into my ears.
And so, it's time to let go and move on. Because saying goodbye comes easier for some people. Specifically, people who don't care.




And you definitely don't.

A year passed by and now, all I know are your words,
the beautiful sound of your laughter and all
your other little habits that make me smile.
All I know are things like your smile, your voice and
for some twisted reason, along with your voice, there's another one,
and this one wont stop laughing and it keeps whispering into my ears,
"You're too late."

Guess I was too overconfident,
I'd thought you'd stay forever.
I was too scared to accept the truth.
I never knew that you leaving would hurt me so much.
Now, you're right there, but you're too far away.
I can't reach you now. I wont be able to. And I'm too
disgusted with myself to even try to reach you.

And for some twisted reason, I agree with that voice in my head,
the one that was laughing and whispering into my ears,
I am, indeed, too late.

So many lies.
You made me feel like
I was the reason why.
I was just never good enough for you
until I stopped loving you.
Then you wanted me?

Wrote words to you that I poured my
soul into.
It was my fault.

Mother always said "don't trust too easily."
I should've listened to her.

I have been beat up by the waves of doubt more times than I can ever count.

I have been stepped on by the foot of insecurity and have been brought down by critical eyes.

I have been to the depths of pain that you could never imagine visiting,

And I have had the perseverance and energy to make my way back up.

I have scars on my heart from all the battles I've fought and I am who I am because of all these battles.

And if you judge me for being who I am, I will no longer let you linger.

I will drop you like the weight you've been; trying to pull me down.

And believe me; I won't regret it for a single second.

-A.A.

You are the most annoyingly charming person
that I have ever had the unfortunate privilege to
lay my eyes upon, for your smile turns my
world upside down, while also makes me feel the
kind of happiness that I, never even knew, existed.

I took your wrist and had a look, you told me about the unusual art you did,
The use of natural dark red paint flowing down, dripping onto your clothes,
In your eyes I saw your emotions, though they were locked up, tied with a chain and bolted away,
I saw them, and I asked you "Why can't you do a different art?"

You looked right into my eyes with a sad smile and said,
"My dear friend, it's not easy to live. Certain things just make you feel worthless,
and like a bunch of wastage, sometimes, it's better trying to feel something else instead of that,
for words hurt like nothing else does."

I added a texture of cotton on top of your art,
You looked at me silently, and in your eyes, I could see someone hurt and broken, screaming for help,
and at that very moment, I decided, I would never let you be alone,
I took you into my arms, and hugged you tight, making soothing gestures on your back as the silent hug turned into something deeper,
and the sobs racked through your body, but not once did I let go,
and at that very moment, I just knew,
You couldn't turn to anyone, that's the reason you did your unusual art.