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Randy Johnson Feb 2020
The world lost a talented actor one year ago today.
After being on Earth for almost 83 years, he passed away.
He starred in 'Keeping Up Appearances' and 'The Old Guys'.
People also loved his performances in '1990' and 'Pack of Lies'.
He also entertained us when he starred in 'Othello' and 'Born and Bred'.
His entire fanbase has grieved for 365 days because he is dead.
DEDICATED TO CLIVE SWIFT WHO DIED ONE YEAR AGO TODAY ON FEBRUARY 1, 2019.
Randy Johnson May 2021
Nine Mother's Days have come around since the day when you perished.
The many years that we spent together are something that I'll always cherish.
You were such a great person because you cared.
When you died, I learned that life can be so unfair.

You were a wonderful mother and that's why I celebrate Mother's Day.
I knew that life would never be the same again when you passed away.
When you inherited $3600 in 1985, you shared it with my brother and I and Dad.
You were the most unselfish person in the world and when you died, it was so sad.

You weren't just a woman, you were a lady as well.
When you died in March of 2013, it hurt like Hell.
You were an outstanding mom to me and my brother.
Happy Mother's Day, you were the world's greatest mother.
DEDICATED TO AGNES MARIE JOHNSON (1948-2013) WHO PASSED AWAY ON MARCH 6, 2013
Randy Johnson Oct 2016
A long time ago, some Demons turned themselves into human men.
They did this to be able to have relations with women way back then.
The woman gave birth to the Demons babies and they grew to be giants.
Any child that came from a Demon was most likely despicable and defiant.
I honestly believe that one of the Demons children was Goliath who was a giant.
Many people were afraid of Goliath but it was just a child who killed the evil tyrant.
Demons can no longer become human men like they did thousands of years before.
God put an end to it, Demons can't turn themselves into human beings anymore.
Randy Johnson Apr 2016
A man had to be born perfect, live perfect and die perfect to pay the ransom for Adam's sin.
Jesus Christ was that man and he died so that people can live again.
We will be resurrected and live forever because of Jesus's sacrifice.
If we do right in God's eyes, we will not die forever, we will live twice.
But the second time around, we will be perfect, we'll never become sick or grow old.
If you want proof, read your Bible and you will see that it is what God has foretold.
Two thousand years ago, Jesus had to pay the ransom to obliterate Adam's sin.
If that hadn't happened, there would be no second life for us, there would be no hope for women or men.
Randy Johnson Oct 2022
Frankenstein was only a monster because that's what people made him out to be.
He was actually a kind and gentle soul but that was what everybody refused to see.
Frankenstein only became violent when the angry villagers decided to attack.
They came at him with torches, axes and pitchforks and he had to fight back.
After he killed in self defense, the villagers burned him to death, it was a horrible fate.
People's prejudice made them attack and Frankenstein died because of fear and hate.
When the villagers killed him, it was a terrible incident.
They feared Frankenstein because he was different.
Those people let hate and fear blind them, they thought that killing him would put their minds at ease.
But they soon learned that they were the monsters because of prejudice which is a horrible disease.
Randy Johnson Jun 2019
My stepson was doing **** and had red dots on his face.
I told him that I don't allow drug users to live at my place.
I immediately knew he was doing **** because of the red dots.
He lied when he said that he had the measles, I knew he did not.
My ex-wife said if her son wasn't welcome in my home, neither was she.
She thought that her son's drug use wasn't a big deal and she left me.
But now she agrees that it was stupid when her son did ****.
Last month, he overdosed and it caused his untimely death.
What I'm about to say isn't a lie, it is real.
Please say no to drugs because drugs ****.
Randy Johnson Mar 2019
It was my moral duty to operate and in many people's eyes, I was admired.
I did what needed to be done and because of that, I was fired.
Four years ago, a baby was born with Down Syndrome and he had a heart defect.
Because of his mental impairment, he was a baby who his parents chose to reject.
I told the parents that without an operation, their baby would die.
They told me not to operate and sadly, I understood the reason why.
They wanted him to die because of his Down Syndrome and some others and I protested.
The parents were taken to court but the judge agreed with what the parents requested.
Even though that **** judge upheld the parents decision, I operated anyway.
I saved that baby's life but my superiors were outraged and decided to make me pay.
I was fired but because of public outcry, they said that I would be reinstated.
I told them to go jump off a cliff, I wouldn't work for a hospital that I hated.
I was fired because of my moral scruples but I had the last laugh.
Now I work at a better hospital and I've become the Chief of Staff.
THIS POEM WAS INSPIRED BY A MOVIE.
Randy Johnson Feb 2017
When my family and I moved into this house in 1977, Dad was our patriarch.
For four decades I have lived in a subdivision that is called Crosby Park.
Today I've lived in this subdivision for forty years.
I was only five years old when I moved here.
When a person lives at a place for that many years, it fits like a glove.
This is where I'll live for the rest of my life and it's a place that I love.
I'll tell you why my place means more to me than it did just ten years ago.
It's because this place is now mine and there's no place like home.
Randy Johnson Dec 2015
There will be world peace but only when Jesus Christ returns.
We will be resurrected whether we are buried in the ground or are ashes in urns.
Everybody will be friendly to each other, racism will be a thing of the past.
Black people, white people and all other races will love each other, it will be a blast.
Nobody will become sick or die ever again.
It will be paradise because there will be no sin.
When Jesus resurrects us, we'll all be young, nobody will ever grow old.
Look in the Bible and  you'll see that these things have been foretold.
But to be able to live in this paradise, many will have to change their sinful ways.
Because if they don't, they will have to face the Lord's wrath on Judgment Day.
Randy Johnson Sep 2020
I tied a sausage to my leg and for a short time my ex-girlfriend was fooled.
But she dumped me flat on my *** when she learned her leg was being pulled.
Because she didn't like the deception,
I didn't receive a friendly reception.
She thought that I was well-endowed, that is what she believed.
When she learned the truth, a broken nose was what I received.
She also crammed a lit pack of firecrackers up my *** and it sure did make me jump.
Now it hurts like hell every time I take a dump.
She dumped me even though I decided to get down on my knees and beg.
If you're a man and if you want a girlfriend, don't tie a sausage to your leg.
Randy Johnson Jul 2022
Andy Griffith found success when he starred in "The Andy Griffith Show".
That sitcom is still popular today and it was created over sixty years ago.
It was one decade ago today when Andy Griffith took his final breath.
Andy didn't have a funeral, he was buried immediately after his death.
He starred in "Matlock" from 1986 to 1995.
Andy would be ninety-six if he had survived.
Ten years ago today, a famous man died.
Andy had Charisma and talent and that can't be denied.
Dedicated to Andy Griffith (1926-2012) who died ten years ago today on July 3, 2012.
Randy Johnson Jul 2015
When I saw you in your casket, it brought tears to my eyes.
You died two years ago today on the thirteenth day of July.
When the doctors said that your illness was terminal, I didn't want to believe that it was true.
But sadly, they were correct and two years ago today, we lost you.

From 1975 to 2010 you worked at Woodcraft, you worked with lumber.
People may think that I'm crazy because I believe that 13 is an unlucky number.
You died on the thirteenth year of the century and also on the thirteenth day of July.
You took Chemotherapy treatments for months and two years ago today, you died.
Dedicated to Charles F. Johnson (1947-2013) who died on July 13, 2013 at the age of 65.
Randy Johnson Oct 2016
Non-religious people don't believe it even though it happens to be the truth.
When people are resurrected, it will be like finding the fountain of youth.
When we live in the Paradise, nobody will ever grow old.
We won't contract diseases, not even the common cold.
When we're living in the Paradise, we will be happy and never depressed.
The Lord will let us live forever and that means that we'll be truly blessed.
After trillions of years pass, we will have no wrinkles and no gray hairs.
When it comes to living in the Paradise, I hope that I see you there.
Randy Johnson Apr 2015
When a wig maker saw my wife's hair, he adored it.
He wanted it and said that he'd pay top dollar for it.
So I cut my wife's hair off while she was asleep.
She walked out the door after calling me a creep.
Perhaps I did go too far.
But I wanted to buy a car.
I went to a used car lot and bought a beautiful red Camaro.
If you're wondering if I got away with it, the answer is no.
My wife went home to be with her mother.
And then I got a visit from her two brothers.
One came at me with an axe, I was lucky that my head wasn't severed.
The other torched my Camaro and covered me with tar and feathers.
It took four weeks to get that tar out of my hair and off my skin.
If I live to be a hundred, I'll never cut off a woman's hair again.
This is a fictional poem.
Randy Johnson Aug 2016
Some people worship cows and the Egyptians worshipped cats.
They should've worshipped Jehovah God but they didn't do that.
Some people have also worshipped plants when they saw them sprout.
Only God should be worshipped, without him, humanity wouldn't have come about.
Worshipping animals and plants is wrong in the eyes of God, worshipping The Lord is what we must do.
Worshipping anything other than The Almighty God is unacceptable and that is one hundred percent true.
People also practice false worship when they show their love of ***, money and drugs.
More people are getting killed as each day passes by because of crime, sin and thugs.
When people idolize anything other than God, it is terrible and wrong.
We can devote our worship only to The Lord, he can make us strong.
Randy Johnson May 2015
The worst thing that ever happened to me, happened in 2013.
You were one of the most wonderful people that I've ever seen.
Your death hurt me so much that for a while, I lost the ability to even think.
You were taken after being a part of my life for forty-one years and that stinks.
For a long time after your death, I felt miserable and all tore up on the inside.
The worst thing that ever happened to me, happened on the day when you died.
Dedicated to Agnes Johnson (1948-2013) who passed away at the age of 64 on March 6, 2013.
Randy Johnson Nov 2017
We should be thankful to have our friends and relatives.
We should be thankful to God for every day we have to live.
When our turkeys are cooked and we start carving,
We should be thankful not to be in a part of the world where people are starving.
As we sink our teeth into the delicious pumpkin pie and tasty stuffing,
Please remember that some aren't so fortunate, they have nothing.
Before we eat our Thanksgiving meals, it would be nice for people to say Grace.
Without God, people wouldn't even exist, he is the creator of the Human Race.
Randy Johnson Jul 2015
This airplane is on fire and it's going down.
Soon everybody on board will no longer be around.
I'm really scared because of the trouble that I'm in.
I'm praying and I'm begging God to forgive my sins.
Very soon I'll no longer be a part of the Human Race.
Very soon I'll be dead and I'll meet God face to face.
I'm really scared and my brow is covered with sweat.
I've done people wrong and that's something I regret.
Everybody else on this plane will die too, I'm not alone.
When we all die, Heaven will become our new home.
This is a fictional poem.
Randy Johnson Dec 2021
This Christmas Season, I wish my parents were still around.
But they both died in 2013 and they're buried in the ground.
The last Christmas I spent with them was almost a decade ago.
When a man loses his family, it's sad and it's a devastating blow.
The Christmas of 2012 was the last Christmas I was able to spend with them.
Mom died the following March and Dad's cancer got worse and I also lost him.
It's sad to know that they're both gone and we can't spend this Christmas together.
If you still have your parents, truly appreciate them because they won't live forever.
I dedicate this poem to my late parents.
Randy Johnson May 2018
When I got a job, the boss didn't tell me what he would pay.
That low life piece of **** only gave me three dollars a day.
That **** ******* dirt bag actually thought that I would love it.
Just like the song says, I told him to take that job and shove it.
I couldn't even buy a meal for three bucks.
He got mad when I told him that he *****.
That S.O.B. black listed me so that I couldn't get another job.
When that **** looked in his safe, he saw that he'd been robbed.
What he did made me madder than hell and he soon got the picture.
I may be unemployed but at least I'm twenty-five thousand dollars richer.
Randy Johnson Oct 2016
My cousin has seen many Bibles that people have thrown away.
Bibles are our greatest possessions, the world has seen better days.
The Bible is like a letter from God and that makes it unique.
It can help us to gain eternal life, that's what we should seek.
The words in the Bible can bring peace even when things seem gray.
The Bible is our greatest possession so please don't throw yours away.
Randy Johnson May 2019
He starred in two Apple Dumpling Gang movies and The Shaggy D.A.
He was an awesome comedic actor and his name was Tim Conway.
He starred in The Tim Conway Show and in one episode of 7th Heaven.
He starred in McHale's Navy and a few episodes of Married With Children.

He was a recurring guest and became a cast member of The Carol Burnett Show.
He starred in several episodes of Yes, Dear and The Billion Dollar Hobo.
When he entertained people, he improved their lives.
Sadly, we've lost a legend at the age of eighty-five.
DEDICATED TO TIM CONWAY WHO DIED ON MAY 14, 2019.
Randy Johnson May 2015
My wife was a magician and she loved to perform magic.
But something happened that was devastating and tragic.
She tried to perform a new trick that she called 'The Burning Box'.
The goal was to escape from a burning container after unlocking two locks.
But she couldn't escape from the box like she thought.
If you're wondering if she survived, sadly she did not.
I should've known that she couldn't do it, I should've known that she would fail.
Her body was burned so severely that she lost her life and her beauty as well.
When she said what she was going to do, I should've put an end to it.
I should've put my foot down but I was ignorant and I really blew it.
I shouldn't have listened to her when she asked me to trust her.
Now I'm a bitter and broken man and life no longer has its luster.
I can't eat or sleep and people have been saying that I look pale.
I let my soulmate do something stupid and now life is pure hell.
This is a fictional poem.
Randy Johnson May 2016
King Nebuchadnezzar ordered people to worship a statue that was ninety feet high.
But when three good men refused to worship it, the King condemned them to die.
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused to worship an idol even though the punishment was stern.
The King had them thrown into a furnace but Jehovah God sent an angel and they didn't burn.
Those three men said that they would only worship The Lord.
And being protected from a fiery death was their reward.
Nebuchadnezzar was amazed when they weren't consumed by the fire.
Those three good men survived a fate that would have usually been dire.
Jehovah proved himself to be the true God who has might.
He protected his three loyal servants for doing what was right.
Randy Johnson Dec 2017
This medication is called Trilafon or Perphenazine.
When I took it, I had the worst nightmare I've ever seen.
Life is something to be cherished.
But in December of 1996, I almost perished.
After my doctor wrote the prescription, I took the Trilafon.
If I hadn't been taken to the emergency room, I'd be gone.
Trilafon helps some people but it makes other people sick.
After taking this medication, I learned that I'm allergic.
I'd like to say it was all just a dream but it was real.
The doctors in the ICU saved me with Benadryl.
I foamed at the mouth and it felt like the Trilafon was burning out my brain.
I hope nobody else experiences this pain.
My doctor ticked me off when he wanted me to continue taking Trilafon with a side effect pill.
There was no way in Hell I'd keep taking it after being so ill.
Now I take a different medication and all is well.
It's much better to take Risperadol or Seroquel.
I was only twenty-five in 1996 and that would've been far too young to go.
If a doctor wants to prescribe you Trilafon, please say no.
This is a true story about what happened to me twenty-one years ago on December 7, 1996.
Randy Johnson Jan 2017
Some people are celebrating while others feel devastation.
I am happy because today is Donald Trump's Inauguration.
It's what some people want and what others resent.
Donald John Trump is now our forty-fifth President.
I support him as his Presidency begins to advance.
I believe that he should be given the benefit of the doubt, he deserves a chance.
Randy Johnson Aug 2019
I stole one of Donald Trump's credit cards five years ago.
I spent ten million dollars and prison was where I had to go.
I bought a lot of expensive things, including a Ferrari.
I committed credit card fraud and I'm not at all sorry.
I hid everything I bought really well so that it can't be retrieved.
Trump has tried to find it but it's something he hasn't achieved.
Trump said he wouldn't press charges if I would give the merchandise back.
I gave him the finger and he spat on me so I had to give him a hard smack.
I slapped the taste out of the President's mouth and he started crying.
Even though Trump hasn't found the merchandise, he won't stop trying.
Yesterday, my sister planted a few of the stolen items in Hillary Clinton's house.
The police hauled Hillary away in handcuffs and they also arrested her spouse.
But Bill resisted arrest so the police had to use tear gas.
They also beat him with their billy clubs and kicked his ***.
The cops believe that Bill and Hillary were accomplices to my crime.
And that almost makes up for me having to do hard time.
Randy Johnson Feb 2016
The world is nearly as bad today as it was during the days of Noah.
People must turn away from their sinful ways and turn to Jehovah.
If people don't change, they won't live in paradise and that's not an exaggeration.
People must put an end to stealing, watching ****, doing drugs and fornication.
People must give up binge drinking and gambling because those are also sins.
If people don't change their ways, they won't live in paradise, they won't win.
People must stop killing, ****** and committing other crimes.
People must change or they will be harshly judged when Jesus returns at the end of time.
Jehovah God is my master and my friend and he loves and cares about us.
But he won't let people live in paradise if they're people who he can't trust.
Randy Johnson Jan 2017
God wants us to turn our enemies into friends.
Let the hatred for your enemies come to an end.
We should try to turn foes into friends even if we fail to succeed.
God will bless us if we try and that is exactly what people need.
When you talk to your enemies, please make an effort to be kind.
Even if they loathe you, it's possible for them to change their minds.
It may be hard to do, especially if you avoid your foes like they're diseased.
Turning an enemy into a friend will warm God's heart and he will be pleased.
Randy Johnson Aug 2016
Mom was only twenty-eight when she moved in this house in 1977,
And she lived here until she moved to Sneedville, Tennessee in 2011.
Mom was beautiful at twenty-eight and she was still beautiful at sixty-four.
She would still be beautiful today but sadly, she isn't with us anymore.
When I was growing up, Mom was a stay-at-home mom and that made me glad.
She devoted her time to her family instead of a job and that might make feminists mad.
But I'm happy that she was a homemaker because I was able to spend more time with her.
If I'm asked to give Mom a rating on a scale of one to ten, a ten is what I'll be proud to give her.
Dedicated to Agnes Johnson (1948-2013) who passed away at the age of 64 on March 6, 2013.
Randy Johnson May 2016
You were an awesome actor but I regret to say that you died twenty years ago.
First, you were Doctor Who and later you were Worzel Gummidge the Scarecrow.
You died of a heart attack in your sleep.
When people found out, they began to weep.

You died two decades ago on this very day.
You were British but you died in the USA.
Your contribution made quite an impact.
Many people loved you and that is a fact.

When you died in 1996, you were cremated.
Because of your death, millions were devastated.
I watched every episode of Worzel Gummidge even though it was a children's show.
You brought magic to every role you played, especially as The Doctor and that loveable Scarecrow.
Dedicated to Jon Pertwee who died at the age of 76 on May 20, 1996.
Randy Johnson Jul 2016
When Bernie Sanders endorsed Hillary Clinton, he sold out.
He let his supporters down and he's two-faced, there's no doubt.
One day Bernie told his supporters that Hillary is unfit.
Four weeks later he vowed to help her get elected, he's a hypocrite.
A person is judged because of the things that he or she does.
Sanders is two-faced, he isn't the man who I thought he was.
Randy Johnson Jun 2018
I have two purrfect sweethearts and I'm smitten.
They are yellow and they're my two new kittens.
One of my babies is a girl and the other is a boy.
There's nothing like pets to bring a person joy.
They're beautiful, adorable and tame.
George and Peggy are their names.
I love to stroke their soft fur.
When I pet them, they purr.
They've taken a shine to me and owning them is something I'll never regret.
They're two purrfect sweethearts and they're wonderful pets.
Randy Johnson Aug 2015
I adopted my Chihuahua Dog two years ago today.
I'll be Agnes's last owner, she's here to stay.
I adopted her in Morristown, Tennessee.
I am lucky because Agnes is with me.
Two years has been how long I've known her.
I'm very happy and proud to be her owner.
Today I'm celebrating the 2nd anniversary with my dog.
Randy Johnson Sep 2016
God gives people kindness whether we deserve it or not.
He gives us undeserved kindness because he loves us a lot.
The Lord will give us kindness even though we make mistakes and sin.
If we repent and turn to God, he will help us with the trouble we're in.
God gives us undeserved kindness when we have food on the table.
There are starving people who want to eat but they are not able.
We should be thankful when God gives us undeserved kindness.
When he is kind to a man or a woman, he or she has been blessed.
Randy Johnson Nov 2016
He was an exceptional actor but now he's gone.
The man who I'm speaking of was Robert Vaughn.
Vaughn starred in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and twice on Columbo.
He starred in Escape From Witch Mountain and The Towering Inferno.
He guest starred in Hotel, The Magnificent Seven and The Love Boat.
He made a few appearances on The A-Team and ******, She Wrote.
Millions of people are sad because Vaughn is dead.
It is terrible to lose an actor who was so talented.
I became his fan over thirty years ago when I watched Superman III.
He was a legend and when I learned about his death, I was not pleased.
Dedicated to Robert Vaughn (1932-2016) who died on November 11, 2016.
Randy Johnson Jun 2015
A man broke into my house and killed my entire family.
Because of his corrupt lawyer, he was found not guilty.
He killed another family and was found not guilty a second time.
His lawyer convinced the juries to find him innocent of the crimes.
I was going to have vengeance by killing him and I was really going to do it.
But God was just as angry as I was and he beat me to it.
The killer got third degree burns all over his body when he was engulfed by flames.
God made him pay because he was an abomination who brought nothing but shame.
I went through hell when he was found not guilty, it was too much to sustain.
He survived for four days after being burned and he was in excruciating pain.
I was working on night shift and that's why I wasn't able to protect my family.
God's vengeance was worse than my own, that's why the killer died in agony.
Even though this poem is fictional, God really does have vengeance from time to time.
Randy Johnson Jun 2015
He was a man of God but that **** didn't care in the least.
That animal walked into a Parish and murdered the Priest.
When he was arrested, he said that he killed the Priest because he hated God.
People were very unhappy because of what he did, they sure didn't applaud.
He was convicted of first degree ****** and sentenced to life in jail.
But God didn't want him to be in prison, he wanted him to be in Hell.
God made that man become ill and he gave him Staph Infection.
He suffered tremendously and then he died of that affliction.
Now he's burning in Hell and he's begging God to let him out.
But he can't escape his torment no matter how loud he shouts.
As his flesh burns, he wishes that he hadn't killed that Priest.
Now he will spend eternity with Satan who is the Beast.
Randy Johnson Nov 2018
This is a special day because it's Veterans Day.
We celebrate because certain people fought for the USA.
Veterans put their lives on the line so that we can be free.
Veterans are important to you and they're important to me.
It's heart breaking to know that some Veterans are homeless.
They are heroes who we should ask God to bless.
Randy Johnson May 2016
We can have what Satan can't, we can live for eternity.
This is the reward  that is available for you and me.
Eternal life is something that we can enjoy.
But Satan will be defeated and then destroyed.

When Jesus returns, we will all be young again.
I can't say when this will happen, I don't know when.
Imagine still being a young man or woman after trillions of years have passed.
Unlike today, our youth will never end, it will be something that will last.

There will be no racism, no bullies, everybody will be your best friend.
Eternal life is a gift that's available to us but Satan's existence will end.
If we love and worship The Lord, we will live forever even though we're currently flawed.
Satan will be destroyed but we can have eternal youth because people are loved by God.
Randy Johnson Aug 2019
I'm one of the owners of a trucking company that's called STD.
Nobody will hire us, even when we offered to work for free.
The STD stands for Simpson, Taylor and Drees.
But people think it stands for sexually transmitted disease.
My partners suggested that we rename our company to DTS or TDS.
But I'm Simpson and I founded the company, so I refused to say yes.
You don't see any of our trucks on the road because people are afraid of us.
They think we have Aids or ****** and it causes a lot of anger and disgust.
We don't have an STD, so please hire us, I'm so desperate that I'm willing to crawl.
If you don't hire us, I'll personally come to your house and kick you in the *****.
Randy Johnson Feb 2019
I have a son who is so stupid that I want to give him a slap.
He wanted hushpuppies and I said "We got no time for that crap!"
I'm Buford T. Justice and I'm a bubblegum machine.
I'm the best sheriff that the state of Texas has ever seen.
I've been chasing a man who calls himself the Bandit.
He frustrates me so **** much that I can't stand it.
I've tried and tried but he's somebody who I can't catch.
He drives 110 miles per hour, I've finally met my match.
When I starred in the 3rd Bandit movie, the Bandit turned out to be fake.
My idiotic son and I will catch the real Bandit no matter what it takes.
Randy Johnson Jan 2019
I welcome 2019, I'm glad it's here.
I hope it will be an excellent year.
Many years ago on every New Year's Day, Mom cooked hog jowls and black eyed peas.
But I didn't like those meals very much, I wasn't pleased.
Sadly, I now spend New Year days alone because Mom is deceased.
I certainly hope that the year 2019 will be a year of prosperity and peace.
God has given me another year to live and for that, he deserves my praise.
I will love, praise and worship The Lord for the remainder of my days.
I hope that 2019 will be a good year for others and myself.
And I wish everybody a year of happiness and good health.
Randy Johnson Sep 2018
Oil was struck on my land and 100 million is what I was paid.
My nephew has a great education, he graduated the 6th grade.
Granny makes her own whiskey, and she makes lye soap.
But if you're wondering if the neighbors are happy, nope.
Mrs. Drysdale doesn't like us, she constantly complains.
She says living next to us is going to drive her insane.
Elly May is my daughter, and she's awful fond of critters.
But now she has rabies because her raccoon bit her.
My sister Pearl insisted that I move here from the South.
Elly May won't drink water, and she's foaming at the mouth.
Jethro does some cyphering, he can count up to ten.
If you've met somebody smarter, I'd like to know when.
I love my mansion, especially the billy yard room.
If you get too close to Granny's still, you'll be knocked out by the fumes.
The people of Beverly Hills wants us to move away.
But they'd better get used to us, we're here to stay.
This poem was inspired by 'The Beverly Hillbillies' TV show.
Randy Johnson Sep 2015
To get on God's good side, we must pray again and again.
We must pray and ask Jehovah to wash away our sins.
We must treat everybody like a sister or a brother.
We must show Jehovah that we love one another.
Heaven is the reward for all of the good people who have died.
We must obey the ten commandments to get on the Lord's good side.
Randy Johnson Mar 2017
When I think about the past, I think about what a wonderful mother I had.
She died four years ago today and it broke my heart because it was so sad.
My mom has been dead for 1,461 days and 208 weeks.
Before she died, she didn't recognize people and she couldn't even speak.
Time flies, it doesn't seem like it's been four years.
My life would be better if my mother was still here
When a person loses a family member, it's rotten.
My mom is dead but she will never be forgotten.
Dedicated to Agnes Johnson (1948-2013) who passed away on March 6, 2013.
Randy Johnson Dec 2019
When I asked my wife what I was getting for Christmas, she kicked me in the *****.
That wasn't what I wanted for Christmas, that wasn't what I wanted at all.
When she kicked me down there, she said "Merry Christmas, mother f*".
When it came to choosing a good wife,I really blew it, I sure was a sucker.
I learned that she had taken out a million dollar life insurance policy on me.
It was the night before Christmas and my wife put rat poison in my tea.
But I had already found the insurance policy and I poured the tea down the drain.
I had the ***** committed, she'll be wearing a straight jacket for Christmas because I had her declared insane.
When she kicked me in the nuts, it gave her pleasure when she saw me fall.
When I asked what I was getting for Christmas, I got a swift kick in the *****.
Randy Johnson Nov 2015
I'm thankful because Jehovah God is the most important part of my life.
I'm thankful to have two new friends, Jason Laster and Stephanie, his wife.
I'm also thankful to have my other friends and my brother.
God is always thankful when people are kind to one another.
Randy Johnson Feb 2016
Jesus would love to see many people in churches but now a days many don't even bother.
What Jesus has always wanted is to please his father.
Since Jesus was created, he has lived to serve The Lord.
He is wonderful and ruling God's Kingdom is his reward.
Jesus wants to please his father and that is what everybody should imitate.
If we strive to please The Lord, it will be something that he will appreciate.
An excellent way that we can please God is to avoid committing sins.
Think about the sinful things you've done and don't repeat them again.
Some times when we're troubled or burdened, we feel like we can't cope.
If we strive to please God, he will make us happy, he is our only hope.
Randy Johnson Nov 2018
People should be thankful for their families.
We should be thankful not to be in a country that is plagued by starvation and disease.
We should be thankful for our Thanksgiving meals because starving people don't have it to eat.
We should be thankful to have our homes instead of being homeless and living on the streets.
We should be thankful to be healthy and to still be living.
We have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
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