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Jan 2020 · 85
Black Water
We splashed in puddles of laughter.
Water chilled our bones,
Made us forget we were alone
Until we parted and went home.

That was painfully long ago.

We’ve drifted to other worlds
Filled with the familiar bliss of chaos.
Your address is still written on my heart,
But you’ve long since departed.

It’s like I’m watching you
From beneath the surface of black water.
And I can’t trace your face
Behind the dark waves.

Every crash washes you further from me.
As the current draws in,
You flow out
Away
Distant
Gone.
May 2019 · 318
Doubting Me
I’ve been wondering,
Feeling,
Being trodden by you.
You kick me
When I’m down.
You slit
My throat
But patch the wound.
The symphony of scars
On my skin
Tissue,
Is a gift from your arsenal.

As I lie bleeding,
Half awake
On the floor,
You whisper
Lies in my ears
And tell me to disappear.
You turn dreams into nightmares,
Haunt my daily waking.
I push you away
But somehow you’re closer then.

You’re a mind game encased in my skull.
Between the lines, you don’t hold back,
Telling me truths as harsh as you can.
I believe every word injected into my veins
As the paragraphs line up.

I believe you, doubting me.
First draft written on March 9, 2019.
Mar 2019 · 253
Do You Remember, Forever?
Do you remember the day
Our souls first clashed?
Do you remember the way
Our hearts embraced?
Do you remember?
Because I remember
How we connected in hurt,
How we danced under lights,
How we bled from our eyes,
How we loved-

But does it really matter,
If all I have left are memories of you?
Memories,
They’re no substitute for you,
For the waves in your hair,
For the squint in your smile,
For the way you say my name,
Or for the way you drive.

So I want to forget you,
Because I can’t be with you,
Because I had to say goodbye.
And though it’s not forever,
It could be
And probably will be,
Forever.
To my best friend; I will always love you.
For every mind that's set ablaze
Every hurt beyond expression.

For every Treasure lost to madness,
Every piercing, crippling doubt.

For every priceless Soul,
Who's lost all hope.

Fight like hell, you are beautiful.
#MentalHealthAwarenessDay2018
Oct 2018 · 351
Eyes Unraveling
Eyes unraveling
Layers torn away
Each one tells a tale
Every false one thinner
Until I see you
See you
Oct 2018 · 2.4k
Let's Talk
Let’s talk of love,
Of sunsets,
And peace,

Let’s talk of roses
And romance,
And full glasses of champagne.

Let’s,
Talk of joy
And having a baby,
And windchimes,
And feasts,
And,
Well,
Anything.

But let’s not talk of hate,
Or war
Or crimson rivers;
Wounds crackling with pus,
Popping scabs,
The sizzling gashes on my face.

Don’t speak of lost soldiers with forgotten limbs.
Don’t think,
Of discrimination,
And sorrow,
And divided skin.

Don’t waste a single breath
On misfits,
Outcasts,
Or widows.

Ignore conversing about infants
Left in the gutter,
Or orphans without arms,
Or bombings,
Or fire in the streets.

Don’t mention parents
Who **** their children.
I don’t want to know
About ******,
Trauma,
And ****.

Don’t look at the spires
Constructed of bodies,
With insects crawling out holes,
And eating out frowns.

Absolutely never speak,
Of anger and sadness
And anything in between.

Why bother with illness
Of mind,
Body,
Spirit.

Forget about the times
When liberty bled.
That’s not on my conscience.

Why mention families,
Torn,
Apart.

Why speak of agony,
And brokenness,
And death?
Don’t speak,
Of suffering
At all.

But let’s talk,
About anything,
And everything,
Anything at all.
As long
As it’s not,
You.
Oct 2018 · 412
The Story of You
Tell me,
The story of you.
But tell it quick.
In less than a page.
Actually,
Just send me the link
And I’ll read it later.

I’m busy,
With the story of me.
Oct 2018 · 225
I've Tasted Galaxies...
I’ve tasted galaxies of life
And death
And sorrows past feeling.
Of joy without limit
And the doubting of self.

I’ve drunk rivers of peace
And oceans of boundless wonder.

I’ve breathed in clouds of self-pity
And enjoyed the smells of meadows
Filled with unending mystery.

But I’m not you.
I will never be like you.

And even when our souls do
Touch.
I feel more distant when we part
Than before we met.

But you feel fulfilled,
Enlightened even.
Like I’m just another self-help book
On your shelf of past experiences.

Like I’m a pass or fail college course
You can take in eight weeks
And forget about in three.

So I cover my scars with a cloak of shame
As they spread down my twisted back.
And I hide my broken tears
In the lyrics I sing to the world.

You sing along,
Calling my suffering, “art” and saying,

“It’s beautiful.”

“I wish I could write like that.”

“It makes me want to cry.”

If you knew what it cost,
To create the art you marvel at,
You’d draw your eyes anywhere else.

The beauty you see
Is the mask worn by the fallen angel of who I am.

If you could write like I write,
You’d cry tears
You could never take back.

I wish you never have to cry the tears
I’ve cried.

And I’d cry them again
If it meant saving you
From it all.

But even then, inside of me,
I feel the rusted inner-turmoil of a Saint who killed his god.
Who can’t get over the death,
Cause it was a senseless pleasure ******
Disguised as a mercy killing.

All else died on that day,
The day his god died.

And I can taste,
The ever-running-tears from the Saint’s face,
As I hold it next to mine,
And I wish he could forget
When his god died.

But then,
I wish you suffered
Like I did-

Honestly,
I wish you suffered worse than I did.

Because I’m tired.
I’m so tired.
Cause every bed is a bed of thin needles.
So I stand and bite down on my hand
So the blood distracts me from my failing heart.
But when I grow tired of even that,
And the blood dries,
I’m left with a swollen, teeth-marked palm
And a heart struggling to even gasp.

Then I remember your worth,
And take back the tar-smeared words I never said to you,
And put out the livid torch with my fingers.
Because I love-
I love you more,
Than I could ever love myself.
Written for National Poetry Day.
Oct 2018 · 203
Synthetic Prayers
I don’t want your worship.
I don’t want your devotion.
I don’t want servitude,
Glory,
Or praise.

You know this.

So you whisper synthetic prayers in my ear
And I accept them like I’m God.

But I’m the unknowing sacrifice
You have no right to give.

I’m a chipped star’s shard,
Hurtling from heaven,
Suspended in space,
Just as much as I’m falling.

My destination never arrives
Because condemnation is directionless.

So you hold me in your palm
And worship my beauty when there’s none,
My genius of nothing,
My empty purpose of being,
Because you know it
Better than I ever could.
Sep 2018 · 199
Unsold Stories
Soothsaying sentences sung
Under moons; shining constellations.
Beyond shallow shores of unsold stories,
Lie sun-soaked shadows;
The sinking sensations of separation.
Stay inside the safety of the stars,
But pray for slow-burning scars.
Aug 2018 · 242
Perfect Crime
We were the perfect crime
But she broke your heart,
And she slew mine.
Aug 2018 · 313
No Shame
You come and you go.
My door is always slamming.

You go in
And you go out
Never asking for help,
But taking it anyway.

There's no shame
If there's nothing pure to begin with,
If there's nothing I can call mine.
Oct 2017 · 628
Shadow of Your Silhouette
All I’m left with
Is the shadow of your silhouette,
And it’s not enough.
Cause I remember having all of you.
And all of you
Was all I wanted.
But you’re gone now
And you’re not coming back.
It can take a lifetime to accept what you've lost.
Oct 2017 · 1.6k
Dear _______,
I love you.

I don’t know who you are,
but I know you’re reading this.
I know it hurts and I know that it feels endless.
I know “hurts” is the wrong word, because you’re dying.
You feel like you already died.
Because you can’t accept that you’re living,
Because living is hell.

I won’t tell you it’ll get better.
I won’t tell you you’ll be alright.
Because you may never be better,
You may never be alright.

What I will say,

Is that I know what you’re going through
And that I love you for it.

Is that you are infinitely beautiful,
No matter what others say or how they look at you.

Is that your value is greater than the entire universe.

Is that you are the strongest person I know,
Because no one has ever fought as hard as you have.

Is that I would die for your happiness,
Because it kills me to see you suffer.

Don’t give up,
Even if you already have.
Because You are the reason that I’m alive.

Love,
A Survivor like you.
#WorldMentalHealthDay
Oct 2017 · 1.1k
The Color of Vegas
The color of Vegas
Is the gradient of a fading sunset

The color of Vegas
Is neon signs and crackling smiles

The color of Vegas
Is grey smoke and three golden sevens

The color of Vegas
Is overpriced steak and wet sand

Today
The color of Vegas
Is broken teeth
And
Grasping at a lover’s sleeve
And
Tears stained red
And
Flashes of blinding sound
And
Terror and screams

Today
The color of Vegas
Is splashing in the streets

The color of Vegas
Is the color of you and me
Heartbroken.
Apr 2017 · 746
Eagles Made of Stars
Eagles made of stars shower distant cities,
Like acid rain, without reprieve.
Drenching skin, and hair, and bone.
Ripping flesh from soul, from spirit.

Bodies swaying, but never rising.
Mothers crying and never healing.
Fathers falling and never praising.
Children calling, but never answered.

Shards of glass, and stone, and bones.
Pools of blood, and tears, and hearts.
Heaven so distant, and hell so near.
Angels of destruction; angels of hate.

Bodies are charred, and black, and spent.
Covered in soot; bathed in the lives of others.
Born into death, teeth are breaking.
Mouths hang open; smiles abating.

All doors have been shut.
All avenues are cut.
Locked in a box with stars.
All for what?
Apr 2017 · 277
Days of Summer
Enclosed in his,

She mistook the bliss

For days of Summer

When the Sun was higher

And brighter, yet calmer.


Beside the One

Who gave it all up

When no one else would.

She took the pain

But with him remains.


Tell me,

Should Love ever go one way?

Because the current

Never washed my way.

The waves were my own,

And the perils, I braved alone.


She took the risk

Where there was none.

She jumped into

The Future not knowing,

The Past hadn’t received its due.
Jul 2016 · 835
7/19/2016
We ring Liberty’s silver bell.
They sink deeper into Hell.

Freedom’s here in overdose,
While their blood is ink for forgotten prose.

Our lives are paraded, celebrated.
Their deaths are coldly stated, faded.

We pray for this; we pray for that.
They die in pain; they die in vain.

“For freedom!” we cry.
“We’re forsaken!” they die.
For Syria.
Jul 2016 · 917
Fragment of Your Fiction
I’m but a fragment of your fiction,
A ballad without verse.

My melody may be stilted,
But yours is noteless.

You’re an arrow with no direction.
Why do I keep running after you?

What’s the point of a sign
If you won’t read it?

If tears didn’t show,
Would you still know my hurt?

Clouds cover,
Like makeup on scars.
What should shine through
Is only forgotten.
What keeps me going
Is lost on you.
Jul 2016 · 1.5k
Binge-Watching You
I've tried binge-watching you,

But the script is inconsistent.

Something about the characters

Is forced.

Each episode is too long,

Overly dramatic.

You think you’re a comedy;

You’re horror.

The production values are stellar,

But they’re wasted on you.

At 155 episodes and 7 seasons,

You should have ended after the first arc.

Your ratings are high.

So what?

Enjoy the attention.

I’m not coming back.

— The End —