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The rush
The violence
Insolence
Depression
Ruling our world
Hearts being pulled
And conquered by hate
**** isn’t this great
Go ahead and eat
What’s on your plate
You fixed this meal
So don’t complain
When your wounds won’t heal
Because you picked your scabs
From the places you stabbed
Except this you
That I keep referring too
Isn’t just one soul
Because each of us know
In our own hearts
That we have played our part
In the madness of this world
So why isn’t love being poured?
And kids being nurtured
Instead of silently tortured
Inside some home
Where love has never been shown
Nothing here is fair
So when are we gonna rise up
And actually care?
Just watching the news lately and hearing about the case with the kids who were being tortured by their own parents so sad, but I believe we can change this world if we really try and each of us doing our own small things will help.
I want to cry
My eyes are holding back the tears
As I read all the emotions
As I see all this hurt
I know so many people who hurt
And who ache
And this kills me
This world is so broken
And no one is untouchable
It kills me
Watching as innocent people
Get used
By other people
Who themselves used to be innocent
Until the day wen they were used
And its an endless cycle
Of hurt people
Turning around and hurting more
This endless cycle of pain
So many people screaming that they just want to be loved
And every piece of me
Is dying to scream at them
How much I love them all
But I've done that to some
And im afraid iv only caused more pain
So I'm stuck unable to help
Only able to pray
But the brokenness
Is eating away
And each day
They get more broken
And closer to ending it all
And I know that pain
All too well
That's why I want to help
Because I wouldn't wish my misery on anyone
And I want so desperately to protect them all
But I'm so weak
And there's really nothing I can do
So I sit back and watch this pain and watch this misery
And all I can do is cry out to God to hear these people
And to see the pain
And I feel so helpless
But I know that alone
Is better than anything else I could do
So many people are hurting. And I don't think most people see the pain of everyone around them. They seem to think no one has it as bad as they do. But just because the pain is hidden doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Failing,
It's all that I do,
Failure,
It's all that I am,
Until I open my eyes,
And look to you.
I cling to the truth,
It's all that I know,
All these doubts,
And the pain starts to grow.
But I close my eyes,
And I know,
This one thing I trust,
When there is nothing else,
I cling to the cross,
Jesus died for me.
My failures have been washed away,
All this guilt,
It doesn't have to stay.
I know who I am,
And where I belong.
And that's all I need,
To start to move on.
I would be dead if it wasn't for Christ, so how can I not look to him? I always mess up and think I can do things on my own. But I can't I so desperately need him
The sad part is
I think I was right
No one stays
In those dark nights
In those times
Im
All
Alone
And I will be
All
Alone
And that's how it is
I just have to deal
I want this wound
To just finally heal
But every time
I open myself up
They just seem to leave
And so again
Im
Alone
That's just how it goes
But no worries
I've learned to enjoy it
I
Actually
Like
Being
Alone
Just random thoughts and nothingness that exists inside my head.
I see the pain
Has marked my face
I am nothing
If not a disgrace

The lines that I
Have long drawn
Make me tired
And so I yawn

I look at all this mess
There is no outcome
And so I guess

This is just how it is
Nothing else to this

But I hate that thought
That these relationships
Are simply for nought

I don't want to believe
That this is true
But that's how it seems
Judging by the view

But maybe the view is wrong
Maybe I need to look
For a little bit longer
And maybe the outlook will change

I long to be close
To a human soul
And have each other
Truly know

The inner workings
And the outer show
But instead in my heart
The distance will grow

I am unsure
If its worth the risk
I am not pure

Perhaps that is why
Everyone will fly
Away from me
When they see
Who I really am
And my life is a sham
I am not me
Or who I want to be
But i long to grow
And to show
The world all my work
To let them all look
What the demon took
And see how I went on
And continued living
But yet no one know
And so I am alone.
Random nothingness my poems seem to be getting worse and worse the more I write.
2 years ago today
2015
You were still in my life
I still saw you almost every day
I heard you when you were screaming
I smelt you when you reeked of alcohol
I came home and saw my mother
When she randomly had a black eye
I felt the sting
When you wouldn't talk to me for weeks
I was in the turmoil
Of not knowing
Wether or not I should say
The secrets I was keeping for everyone else
I was confused and so very alone
But that was all 2 years ago
I haven't heard from you
Not since my birthday
When you bothered to txt me
You actually got it right this year
July 21st
Not June 19th like you always said
But that was it
Just a text
Why does this all still bug me?
I want to get over it.
Most days I think I have,
But some days it still bugs me
And still makes me depressed
And I hate that I still let this all control me
Why is it right when I think I'm finally moving on?
Everything slaps me in the face and I feel stuck.
I don't want to bother anyone with this
I know it's unimportant
But days like today are when I wish I had a friend
Who didn't mind some venting about stuff like this
But none of my friends understand
I always think it's ironic when they vent about parent problems
Because they have no idea
What a real problem even is.
Random thoughts and emotions that are truly irrelevant
You just left me,
We used to talk all the time,
And now.....  

Now we never speak,
And it *****,
I miss you,

You said we needed space,
And that you didn't mean to hurt me,
But it still hurt,
And i still miss you,
And i get it, i really do.

But i feel like i lose everyone i get close too,
I feel like every time i open up to someone,
They always seem to vanish,
And i thought you were different,
But it seems your not,
And thats ok
I cant blame you,
I wouldn't want to be my friend either........
My best friend and i haven't talked much lately...i feel stupid but i miss him....
I feel so different now
Its like a weight is lifted
Its so amazing how
All my views have shifted

Its like i can finally see
I feel renewed within
Here begins a new me
Christ has freed me from sin

Im no longer consumed by shame
Im not burdened by guilt
I look to you and know your name
My soul no longer wilts

Im a new creature
What is this sudden change?
I feel almost pure
Its such a sudden change

My mind was all dark
I was consumed by hate
But then you spoke to me like a beautiful lark
Your words were of love and it was like a grate

You pushed me out of my comfort zone
It was so hard
But now suddenly i actually feel at home
I no longer feel alone

I know you love me
Its like for the first time i see
Its you who i want to be
I want to resemble you more
So in my heart i will store
Your word i want to memorize
Your people i want to know
I want to actually show
How i feel in my heart
I wish i had from the start
But i can see all this time
Your hand working in me
Even when i was close
To taking my life
Even in the darkness and the strife
I can see how you took away the knife
And gave me something so much better
Your water will make my thirsty soul wetter
Your love i want to show
And slowly i hope to grow
I truy do love you Lord
The change Christ makes in me.
I walk this field
All turned to ash
The fire will never yield
So I turn and I ask
“How did this forest
Once beautiful and strong
Become so dark?”
It just all seemed wrong
There was none to answer
My question was fate
It cried to wind
Still not answered to date
So I strolled on in the ash
Walking through the burning
All in worse state than trash
As I walked I began to weep
No longer able to stand
All the pain that I saw
I fell with my head in hand
And I wept and I cried
At seeing all this beauty
And imaging how it died
I couldn’t imagine
Anything good coming from this
So I cried and I wished
That it would just burn me up too
Then maybe I wouldn’t have to see
And I could just be
It would all be well
If I never had to tell
And I never had to see
All the ash
And blatant misery
But from my sobbing I paused
When I looked up
And to my surprise I saw
A young flower
A daisy
All yellow and golden
I was suddenly cold then
As chills ran down me
And I could no longer weep
I stood up
I began to leap
For in the ash
And through the flame
Had produced such beauty of fame
Something so amazing
And elegant
My mind now fervently spent
I saw that through it all
There was still good
And there was more than just the ash
I was talking to a friend about seeing the good in the world despite the pain and anyway that conversation inspired this so there.
You said
“Let’s just be friends”
I never thought
That’s how it would end

Who’s fault is it
This pain in my chest
Can I blame you?
Or should I give it a rest

I knew you were no good
From the second
I looked up at you from my hood

Gazing into your perfect eyes
I knew what was next to come
Would not be wise

But I threw caution to the wind
And so too you threw me away
My former friend
Thoughts on a recent relationship and the breakup after
Can I just say,
Well today was really great,
And I had a lot of fun,
And well,
Can I just say,
I really liked sitting next you,
I know it sound lame,
Maybe even childish,
But man,
Can I just say,
Sitting next you,
I feel safe,
You make me feel safe,
And can I just say,
That I really like your school,
And I really want to go,
I can’t wait until I go,
And can I just say,
That when we hang out,
And when you look at me,
I feel special,
And can I just say,
I really do like you.
Just a poem about a boi XD
My body filled with hate
All I know of is this eternal pain
All I feel is this cage
Shutting me in
And locking me down
I stay here
Not because I am a prisoner
But because this monster
That controls all my actions
Has completely convinced me
That this darkness
And all this pain
And these chains
These ******* chains
The ones I put on myself
These are what will keep me safe
They protect me from going to far
And from letting someone see who I really am
So as long as they never know
Whenever they abandon me
As they inevitably will
They don't really leave me
For they never knew what that was.
Don't let them in
Don't show them you
The darkness will win
This isn't new

You can not trust
You can not let them see
Listen closely for you must
Never let them know

The darkness you possess
Is simply far too much
If they knew
If they saw
Trust me
They would leave.
People are fleeting
Facts are changeable
Truth is relative
Beauty isn't real
Love is non existent
It's all an array
Of various chemicals
Flowing through a mass of muscle
Creating different stimulants
That we have called emotions
But its pointless
Emotions are useless
All anyone truly cares about
Is stimulating
The proper chemical flow
That they long after
In that particular moment.
So why even try?
Just random thoughts on various facts and realities including relationships and needless emotions
There is this place
With magnificent grace
Its so very peaceful

It abounds with love
And no one can get enough
But thats fine
Because there is plenty of time

There all is great
No one ever has hate
This place is called childhood

But not all are so good
And not just those from the hood
I was raised in a christian home
Yet still i was all alone

I hear others as they talk
And i silently gaulk
At how good they had it

And its like they dont even know
And i almost want to show
Them how bad it can be
To just let them see

But i just sit silently
I want to scream violently
But i never do

So instead i just write
From all these thoughts in my head
I used to wish i was dead
But now i can see
How it all made me
Who im supposed to be
Well im not there yet
But my life its not set
Im growing
And i hope its showing
So tho it was painful
Im in an odd way grateful
Not for who else was hurt
But for the way iv grown since
When life throws you lemons **** it up and pucker up.
The darkness knocked at my door
I opened it, just a crack
I stared and my heart did soar
I can not take it back
That glance i gave to those eyes
The way it stared at me
It made me despise
Everything i had come to see
Without wanting too
I opened wide the door
And it showed me something new
I thought it would give me more
It wisperd inside my ear
That i was all alone
It was all i could hear
It told me i couldn't go home
It handed me the knife
And showed me how to bleed
It made me want to take my life
And commit this awful deed
It took from me so much
And gave me nothing back
My shoulders were always hunched
My heart was always black
I began to lose all hope
I couldn't even see
There was no way to cope
With the darkness eating me
But this wont be the end
Because i wont give up the fight
It just another bend
In the war of wrong vs. right
And i may be in pain
And I may fall down
But i wont go insane
I wont alow myself to drown
Beneath all these emotions
Running through my mind
And all these crazy notions
I will try and bind
Because this is my life
And i will fight back
Even though theres stife
I wont be controlled by my heart even when its all black.
Fighting against depression.
My mind is so twisted and wild
It leaps and bounds
Violence is everywhere
Its the music in the air
It sings softly and sweet
And keeps my hands folded ever so neat
It makes me laugh out loud
And makes me cry with my head in the cloud
It keeps me from going insane
Funny how it can bring so much pain
But to me its a comfort
As is this rhyme
Some day you will understand, love
All in good time
One day you will die
And then you will see
That it is not i
Who has lost my mind
But the rest of the world who kills the innocent to solve our problems
Im just the one brave enough to say
What their actions have already spoken so well.
I don't normally get into politics but all this killing iv been seeing on the news makes me really sad and i dont like how everyone seems to be defending the killing of innocent lives no matter what the reason and no matter who else is killed i dont see how killing people helps solve things, idk much about politics or anything really, i just know i hate seeing death constantly on the news and everyone seems to be so ok with it and even saying its good, and its bery depressing
Drowning?
Or already drowned
The demon screams
The child hides
The parent leaves
The monster hurts
The child aches
The tongue is twisted
The knife cuts
The wounds never heal
The scabs stay open
The blood leaks
People stare
Its brushed away
But the pain stays
The voices are louder
The care is less
The friends leave
The numbness stays
The people seem smaller
The fakness
All the acting
All the fake smiles
All the lies
All the "im oks"
Im drowning......
.....or maybe im already drowned.
Im trying to work on the flow of my poetry.....not sure this is much better
To know the depths of joy
You must go the length of sorrow

To see the sun rise
You must get up in the night

Moving forward
And moving on

When all of life
Feels completely gone

Is the only way
To truly see

Who it is
We are meant to be.
I actually really like it is, and it really comes from a cool place for me, like its weird to say this means a lot to me cuz I wrote it and that sounds so arrogant and its not cuz I think its good it just really speaks to me.
Oh also this isn't a quote from Ecclesiastes it's inspired by the verse
Sometimes I'm fine
Sometimes i just whine
I feel like a failure

Like everything I do is wrong
My life like an annoying ****
All I do is clash
Everything I touch comes to crash

I always mess up
And then I fess up
To make amends

But still I fail there too
I fail most when dealing with you
No particular you
Just with all people I do

And yet even still
I'll try to follow your will
Because you love me

Even though I'm a failure
You love me still
God loves me even when I can't stand myself.
It takes all of my energy to fake it for everyone else
So please
Just don’t make me fake it for you
Depression is something I don’t feel like I can show most people. But there are some people I just don’t want to have to pretend to be ok around
I stare at this device sitting in my hands
This thing that is supposed to keep me connected
With the rest of the world as it goes around me
I stare at the screen
Waiting
                   Waiting
                                       Waiting

But there’s nothing
The screen remains black
And I’ve never felt more disconnected
With no reality
It’s all a fallacy
There’s nothing real
All these “good” relationships
Are just as fake as I am
Most of life is just pretend
Hands all over me
Softly carressing all of me
Sensations I didn’t know I could feel
Is any of this
Even real?
You lifted me up and laid me down
Skin to skin
Lips to lips
I felt your hands
Move down my hips
Your eyes so bright and blue
Bringing up these feelings
So strange and new
One night full of bliss
Who knew
I would have to pay like this
A **** Boy
That’s all that you are
I see that now
Just a shooting star
One minute
You bring me hope and light
But you’re always gone
Before the end of the night
Boys will be boys
She said
As if warning me
Not to trust
A word he said
As she walked through the forest
Daydreams caught in her mind
But these dreams were of a different kind
Dreams of what was, and wasn't to be
Dreams of the person she could no longer see
She longed for the sun to rise and sing
But all she could see were the shadows storm clouds bring  
So she ran through the forest to get away
But these shadowy dreams continued to stay
Leaving heartache in every step
Everywhere she looked she saw death
Disaster, destruction, despair for miles more
That is all she expected to find in store
And yet within a light still shone
This light was not her own
It was a hope which had been breathed into her
Breathed into her by one that loves her sure
He was the one for whom she kept walking
The one who had given her this hope
And so on and on she went by it
Until her soul found what she had sought
A place she could rest and call her home
A place where she was no longer alone
Me and lost poet wrote this together it's my first joint poem I really like it
You were my first kiss
It’s true
No way around it
But when you kissed me
I felt nothing
Except disappointment
I thought your first kiss
Was supposed to be
Life changing
The best
It just
Felt wrong
Out of place
And almost forced
You kissed me
I didn’t kiss you
You wanted me
I tolerated you
But when he kissed me
My stomach did a flip
There were fireworks
Going off in my mind
He took my breath away
You just took my first kiss
I said I loved you
You said you loved me
I knew it wasn’t true
They were just words
But when he touches my face
And pulls away from my lips
To whisper to me his love
My whole body smiles
Yes you were my first kiss
But he is my first love
There’s a boy now and he’s changed my world
There’s a boy now
And I think maybe
He is my world
Absolutely *******
******* and your horse
And your perfect family dinners
**** your perfect art exhibition
And **** your scholarships to the perfect college of your dreams
**** your supportive parents and there understanding
**** your beautiful house and your wonderful life
And ******* more for rubbing it in my face

You have everything I ever wanted
You have the career of my dreams handed to you on a ******* silver platter
All because your daddy works at the school
Perfect little preachers daughter
With your wonderful family
And your wonderful life
You speak to your sister
You tell her everything
You say you’ve been depressed
Oh ****, commercial break.

I guess we’re talking again now
You were the only one who called me
I was alone and couldn’t move
And you made sure to talk to me
You called me so many times
Just to chat
Even though you don’t understand me
Even though I don’t try to understand you
You keep trying
And I can’t understand the unending kindness


I know I was the one who cut you off
I know I was the one who left you on read
Didn’t answer your calls or return the voice mails
But absolutely ******* for acting like it didn’t matter
**** your happiness
**** your attitude
**** your perfect life
And **** me even more for not having it....
It’s been awhile since ive been on here so I can’t remember if language like this is allowed I’m sorry if it is not
I saw the flames
He jumped through
He just leaped through the fire
Completely unhurt
I was amazed
Id heard tale of such feats
But even still
To actually watch it happen
I was enthralled
I was awestruck
And then i desired to feel
Those flames lick my face
I wanted to feel the heat
And yet remain unscathed
I wanted to jump
And so i did
I ran towards the flames
I was so excited
I wanted to leap through the air
But when i came close
When i saw those flames in my face
I stopped
For a split second
I stopped
I hesitated
And that threw me off
So as i jumped i fell
Into the flames
And i got burned
I have the scar on my knee
Its not bad
But **** did it hurt
I have the giant bruise on my side
And **** did it hurt
But none of my physical pain
Hurt nearly as much
As the embarrassment did
As much as knowing that everyone had watched
That everyone saw
That everyone knew
That i had failed
I had fallen and got burned
And that pain was unbearable
I had to leave to step away
I couldn't face anyone
And so i went off
By myself
And sat and thought
And made the decision that i would play it safe
And not take risks
And thus I wouldn't fail
And thus I wouldn't face the pain
I could just stay safe
But as i think about it
I remember the rush
The flames licking my face
That moment before i fell
And i felt amazing
Before I hesitated before i jumped
I was excited
I was doing something
And it was a rush
So yeah i fell
And yeah i hurt
And yeah the pain was real
But thinking back to it
Id do it again in a heart beat
The only difference is
I wouldn't hesitate
Or if i did
Right after i fell
Rather than leaving
Id run at the fire again
And id keep jumping
Until I finally made it.
This actually happened but it really opened my eyes to how i view life and how i let the fear of failure keep me from trying
Im not what appear
This smile is but a mask
For im not really here
I just to pretend to be to complete a task

A task of fooling you
Into thinking of me
As someone like you too
Instead of who is really me

But im nothing like you
Im so dark
Its nothing new
This crazy story ark

But listen my friend,
You need to hear
This relationship is at an end
You dont want to hold me dear

There are sins unknown
Scars covered up
The darkness has grown
And its so tough

To tell you this
But its only fair
For you to know
Before we become a pair

You need to know who i am
And that this isnt I
But this is where i stand
Im just a demon standing by

This demon inside
He controls me
He makes me hide
Who im to be

And so im sorry for fooling you
But its ok
Because maybe your fooling me too.
Sometimes i feel like i have to warn people about myself because as first i can seem so happy but ifyou get to know me, im actually really dark.
I look and i wonder
What i have done
I sit and ponder
Why i cant find the sun

We were friends right?
Once upon a time
But now im struck by fright
I hear the clock chime

Maybe nothing ever lasts
Maybe its all just moments
And eventually they all pass
But my heart still rents

I just wish i knew
What i always seem to do
And how i constantly anger you
And why is it that you flew?

Away from me
I was just trying to see
To look into you
And let you look into me too

But instead you pushed me
And not just literally
You didn't want to see
Maybe im just full of folly

For ever thinking that we might
Somehow still be friends
This poem is about someone who im no longer friends with, and i dont really know why. But i wish knew what i did that was so bad....
The way your eyes became filled with tears
As I showed to you
All my darkest fears
I spoke to you of all my demons
And time and again
How I had seen them
Dancing through my mind
Filling me up with lies
Holding me in a bind
And you reached out your hand
Time and time again
Most times I shoved you away
I would lie to your face
Telling you I’m fine
But you never turned away
You told me you would stay
And you were true to your word
And through all this time
I never could see it
But you are the hands and feet of Jesus
I questioned his love
Thinking I could not be enough
I felt all alone
Even when I was not
I was surrounded by his love
But my eyes they were blind
And you reached out your hand
Over and over again
Finally over time
I see that the hand I called yours
The hand I rejected
Was never truly yours
But it was the scarred hand of Jesus
Reaching out to me
And I see how he used you
To change my life
And finally I believe in his overwhelming love
And I want to be used
To help others too
I want to be
The hands and feet of Jesus
This is a poem about one of the most fckinv awesome women I have ever met. She has helped through so so many hard times and she never once gave up on me. Even when I avoided her for weeks and ignored her even still she pursued me, never getting anything out of our relationship for herself she just wanted to help me. I want to be like her one day.
I hate that i spoke
I hate that i opened my mouth
I hate that that hurt u
I hate that i let that hurt me
I hate that i let that get to me
I hate that i said anything to u
I hate how affected i was
I hate that it was nothing
I hate that i was overthinking
I hate that i did this
I hate how stupid i am
I hate the way u must see me now
I hate that i did this
But i love that for some reason u dont hate me
I let something i shouldnt have get to my head and i said things i regret, but for some reason hes still my friend.
#friends #coolguy #hate #love
Life is a game
Of hide and go seek
Its not yet time
For you to peek

You must go hide
And try not to be found
You can not wish to
Have ever died

That is one piece to hide
You can not long after blood
Hide that too

But most of all
Remember this
You must simply hide all of you
Paint up a fake and trick them all
And watch as they fall
For the fake
And now you feel safe
But look at them laughing
And all having a blast
Guilt overwhelms
So you crawl out of hiding
And want to help seek
But the weather outside is hot
And you notice they are not
What they at first appear
For there paint is running
And soon so are you
But you leave your fake laughing
Just in case
It was only sweat you saw
But you have to be careful
Because this is hide and seek
And you never know
Exactly how much to show
So again you hide
And curl around yourself
Because while the one who looks like you
Is out having fun
And is enjoying the company
Of many different people
You have never been more alone.
Random thoughts on life and relationships
All the people I used to know
All those who used to know me
They outnumber those I know now
Seeing them happy
And all the biggest moments they live out
Watching from the side lines
As they post about all the awesome things
That keep happening to them
I see them all
But I’m never there
I’m not the one holding the camera
Smiling and laughing with them
I just leave a comment
Let them know I’m happy their happy
Which I am
I want them to be happy
I just wanted to be happy with them
I guess I never realized that was so much to ask
It ***** when the people who you used to value the most kinda forget you exist
Im dying inside
My life is a mess
Failing at everything
Im an idiot
Nothing matters anymore
End my life, please
You dont know how someone really feels, dont assume peoples feelings for them.
The two choices
One passionate and overwhelming
Bright as the sun
Like a shining star in the dark of night
Nothing but a blinding light
Fast and furious
Everything all at once
So much love and so much beauty
All a force so strong I can barely say no
The other
A peace so calming
A place in your arms that I call home
A safety that I’ve never felt
A peace and a serenity
A place I can breath
A certainty to things and a lack of fear
Now to decide which I want
And which I need
The two choices
Laying before me
I look in both your eyes
So filled with love
Both in love with me
And unsure of who to pick
I’m drawn of course to one
But my brain is telling me
To stay where it’s safe
But my heart yearns after more
Unsure of what to do
And unsure of where to go
I stay standing
Staring at both choices
Incapable of making a decision
I think I’m in love with two people, I’ve never felt this way before I’m so scared to hurt anyone, but I can’t stop the way I feel
I want to write
I feel like i need too
I just dont feel right
I want to talk to you

But i cant
I just dont have the words
I have to many emotions
Im falling
I just hope im falling forwards

I need a release
But i cant move
I cant even breathe
But im stuck as well

Its midnight
I should go to bed
But i cant just yet
I dont think i could sleep

Im so tired right now
I want to sleep
But its too much
I just cant do anything

Everything is too much
Im just overwhelmed
And the worst part is
Im alone.
Everything ***** right now and i cant sleep and ik if i dont tomorrow is going to be so awful, or more awful than usual.
#sleep #overwhelmed #emotions #depressed
Dimly lit rooms
In the dead of the night
Dimly lit thoughts
In my bed without light
I lay with these thoughts
Racing through my head
All these voices
Whispering in my bed
Voices of the night
Pillow talk
I run, take flight
I can’t even walk
I’m stuck in an up,
In a down
I bow my head
Only I know of my crown
I wear it for this kingdom below
I wear it for the sins
I chose not to show
You want to talk
And you want to hear
But you can not ever know
Who I am, my dear.
People act like they want to know you. But do they? They act like your story is something special, but if something is special you don’t give it to just anyone do you?
Pain is everywhere
It's all over this world
I see it in everyone
No one is spared

Its in the child
Whose innocence was taken

Its the grown man
Who can't function a day
Without the help of a substance

Its in the mom who is all alone
And who is simply trying
To make this broken house
Feel like a home.

Is there anything else?
All I see is pain.
Is there nothing but this vacancy,
That consumes my being?
Is this all there is?
Surely there is more than this.

I see the pain
In the teenager
Who draws lines on his skin
That wont just leave
But atleast this pain can be covered by his sleeve

I see it in the girl who gives herself away
To any man
Who she thinks she can make stay

I see it in the strong
Who make themselves keep moving on
For everyone else around them
But inside they just want to die.

Surely there is more
I'm telling you there has to be more.
I close my eyes
And I start to cry
I open them and look up to the sky
I want to scream at God
"How could you let this happen?"
"Where are you now, when all I see and all I feel is the pain?"
But I don't say a word
Because I know this simple truth
If God does exist
And I bet my life he has too
I have no right to ask him no I have no right to demand an answer
I can not understand who he is
Or how big his plans are
So I close my eyes
And I thank him for the life I have

And I say to the child, and to the grown man, to the mom, and the teen, to the girl, and to the strong,
I tell them thy can keep moving on.
I have no positive answers and I'm sorry if that's not enough for you. But I believe its the truth and as for me I would rather embrace the painful truth than live in a comfortable lie.
Not very well written , sorry! Im not even sure I'm saying what I'm thinking in the right way just thoughts I have and figured I'd put them down.
Why is sleep so hard to come by?
Why do I stay up so late?
Why is it at night, my thoughts turn to hate?
I want to sleep
My eyes are heavy
But I can't seem to except it
I can't seem to close my eyes
And I just don't understand why
Im always exhausted
So you would think I would live to sleep
And I do
But getting there is the problem
And often times
Staying there
Seem to be even harder.
Uuggghhh im tired XD
I desire
To write something good
I want
To write words of hope
But I think
To write such beautiful words
You need
To have something beautiful inside you
I’m afraid
That that’s simple not my case
So it’s just
These weird lines I write
That have
No real meaning or merit
And no one
Understands what they all really mean
Neither do I though
Just a poem
I know I'm a failure,
But I'm a failure who's gonna keep on trying.
I want to keep trying despite the fact that I seem to constantly fail.
It’s been three years
I actually fit in here
And yet you want to leave?
Why are my decisions
Never left up to me?
It dosnt matter anyway
No one will ever stay
It’s gotten to now
Where I’m accustomed
To you as you walk away
I guess that now
I know how you look
More from behind
Than in the front
I wish I could rewind
I don’t know what would be different
Or how it would end
But maybe I would be firm
And not bend
When I was made to leave
And told to walk away
Or maybe even you might stay.
Just my thoughts one life atm hopefully will be better eventually.......
I just keep scrolling thru
All these poems
Looking for you
I want a friend
I never realized before
How old most ppl on this site are
Come on teens
Lets raise the bar
Lets write out our feelings
And talk to one another
Were all just lonely souls
I was scrolling thru looking for ppl my age on this site and there arent as many as i thought there would be. I was very disappointed. Also if anyone else is lonely feel free to msg me :)
The knife was dragged down my chest,
Slowly pulling apart skin and bone,
My heart beating clearly shown,
The long claw like hand,
Reached into the crevice,
That was once my whole chest,
There the hand lay to rest,
My heart beating quicker,
Slowly began to be pulled away,
I screamed but unable to move,
So standing there staring I just stayed,
I stared at my heart now in his hand,
I couldn't breathe,
And didn't dare scream,
Because my last breathe was not going to be spent like that,
I continued to stare at my heart,
The monster howled with delight,
And gave an awful grin,
It seemed insanely pleased,
With what I surely hope was an awful sin,
But I had no time to think on that,
For soon was coming my last breathe,
I could feel nothing but the chasm in my soul,
Wondering how could I ever again be whole?
I began to fall to the ground,
The monsters laughter did abound,
And as I closed my eyes in that last moment,
As the darkness surrounded,
And I felt nothing,
A single thought entered my mind,
I began to play back and slowly rewind,
As I saw in my mind,
I watched the monster rip out my heart,
But I also saw how I stood doing nothing,
And I knew in my last moment,
I could have stopped him,
And I wondered if I could somehow have the chance to try again.....
Just a story
The dark has come again
I don't think I'll ever win
It'san uphill war
Is there any more?

More to this life
Than this endless strife
I can't stay away from this knife

It rules me
It tells me who to be
And i obey
I follow all the way

I bow down
I give it the crown
And so on i drown

I feel so stuck
In this endless muck
I watch as others move on
They have won

But I'm still lost
This an old poem and its not my current situation but its sort of a show how despite pain and doubt these things can be good and help us to grow
Death is an underrated masterpiece of a grand artistry
Created by the bleeding out of the eternal soul
In which one loses the sanctity that is this mortal life
Short poem with probably way to many big words for my small vocabulary.
Every time I opened my mouth someone left.
So I guess I just stopped opening my mouth...
Thoughts and stuff
My biggest fear
Isnt the monster
Beneath my bed
But is the monster
In my head.
Just random thoughts
Those moments fueled by pain
It had just started to rain
No sun was seen in the sky
I was being passed by everyone walking by
No one knew my struggles
No one saw the tears
Or how I made it through the years
Dragging that knife across my skin
The blood would always win
So I figured it would be best
To end it like this
With the slashes on my wrist
And the blood would get to be
The final thing I would see
So I walked until I was alone
No where near any home
And I pulled out the knife
Prepared to take my life
But before I could
I just silently stood
Staring at my wrist
Thinking of this
And how I would never again see
My friends, or family
And sure I thought no one cares
So why does it matter?
But one friend had talked to me
And began to teach me to see
The world a little differently
And I thought of how this would affect
And I thought of those people who smiled and waved
And never knew the darkness I craved
And how I wondered how I would feel
If they were to do the thing I was about to do
And I started to cry
And though my heart
Still longed to die
I no longer had the strength to even hold the blade
And so on I lived
And some time later
Im glad I did
It has always been hard
But life is so much more than what it seems
It always has more in store
Than what we see
And for almost the first time
Im glad to be alive.
Suicide is never actually a viable option as much as it may feel like a good idea or that everyone wouod be better off without you it's simply not true. Stay strong. You can keep going
You wont even speak
Why is it me?
Why am i so weak?
What is it you want me to be?

I was never enough
You never liked me
Childhood was rough
I wanted to see

You smile at me just once
I wanted to feel loved
But its over now
Im all grown up
And youve made your point
Im unwanted
You dont care
And thats ok
Its not like im losing anything
You never there
I dont know why
I was the one
That you would always shun
But i was
And now you wont talk
All i wanted was an answer
But i got nothing
Your like a cancer
And im done
Letting you **** me
Im moving on
Ill choose who I'll be
I wont let you control me
Im moving on
Fighting against the darkness and disappointments
A mutual agreement
To rip each others hearts out
A mutual agreement
That we simply wont work together
I have to wait atleast a year
And he cant wait for just a year
Two different people
Who just didn't think it through
Who rushed head long
And who are both broken now
It makes it easier that it was mutual, sure
But it still hurts
And im still gonna miss you
Im gonna miss you alot
I really liked him
The first boy who ever liked me back
The first relationship i had ever been in
Lasted less than two whole months
Now isn't that just sad
Well I certainly am
He was so great
But we weren't meant to be
And i know i can trust God in this
And i know he has something big in store for both of us
But right now it still hurts
And my heart still aches
And im still gonna miss you
And im still gonna think about you
And im sorry i ever said i liked you back
Im sorry we ever went down this road
Because not only did i lose a relationship
But i also feel like i lost the friendship
And it was such a good friendship
And im gonna miss it
And im gonna miss you
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