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Absolutely *******
******* and your horse
And your perfect family dinners
**** your perfect art exhibition
And **** your scholarships to the perfect college of your dreams
**** your supportive parents and there understanding
**** your beautiful house and your wonderful life
And ******* more for rubbing it in my face

You have everything I ever wanted
You have the career of my dreams handed to you on a ******* silver platter
All because your daddy works at the school
Perfect little preachers daughter
With your wonderful family
And your wonderful life
You speak to your sister
You tell her everything
You say you’ve been depressed
Oh ****, commercial break.

I guess we’re talking again now
You were the only one who called me
I was alone and couldn’t move
And you made sure to talk to me
You called me so many times
Just to chat
Even though you don’t understand me
Even though I don’t try to understand you
You keep trying
And I can’t understand the unending kindness

I know I was the one who cut you off
I know I was the one who left you on read
Didn’t answer your calls or return the voice mails
But absolutely ******* for acting like it didn’t matter
**** your happiness
**** your attitude
**** your perfect life
And **** me even more for not having it....
It’s been awhile since ive been on here so I can’t remember if language like this is allowed I’m sorry if it is not
I’m smoking so I feel better
I’m smoking so I can exist
But it doesn’t make me feel like it used too
It doesn’t make me feel alive
It makes me feel ok
I wish I was alive
I want that spark in my eye
But my eyes only get red
Is that what they mean
When they see I see red
I don’t think I see color anymore
It’s all just grey
It’s been grey for a long time
But when I smoked I could see again
Not anymore
Now it’s just red and grey
Every day
The same colors
There is no blue sky
The grass isn’t greener on the other side
Because the grass isn’t green at all
I just see grey
The days blend together with nothing in between
Not even sure if this counts as poetry as much as it is just my rambling thought.
From the dead ravens sorrow
Ran the poor mother
Just a small sparrow
No more together

The dead shall rise
And we will be once more
The difference in size
Will be no more

The mother cry’s
The raven caws
The sparrow dies
Locked in a crocs jaws

The mirror I stare in
Before me now
I bare my sin
Bare, upon my brow

I see a raven stand behind
Cloaked in darkness
I am no more
She had a waist so small he could cup his hands completely around it
This book I read as a young girl
The characters were ooing and ahing about this tiny waisted girl
How pretty she was and how amazing
I remember taking my hands
And trying to reach them around
And they never did reach
I wanted to be a boy, I wanted to play football, and walk around with no shirt
I wanted everyone to think I was a boy
Every boy I read about
Every boy I saw on tv
I mimicked
Boys didn’t get touched
Boys could be safe
So maybe if I acted enough like a boy
I could make it all stop
All the girls my age, there shirts didn’t seem to fit as tight as mine did
My dad said I looked like a ****
My shirts being so tight
My face was red
I didn’t know what I had done
I was just a kid, mom had bought me these clothes
But I had outgrown them they said
I never wore tight clothes again
I wore my clothes baggy
So people couldn’t see me
So they didn’t know how I was framed
We were at a park with some friends one summer day
We were swimming in a creek
I was walking with my mom back to the car
And I heard the cute boys swimming up the way
Say to each other “is that thing a boy or a girl?”
I wanted to cry
I just ran after my mom faster and tried to keep it in
These are the things that make life difficult for women
The things men as understanding and kind as they can be can still never understand
The things that we can’t always put in words
The things we all feel
But rarely have the courage to say
These are the things we as women need to learn how to express so that we may move on and create a new world for little girls
Because until we learn how these problems in us started, we can not learn how to end them.
The two choices
One passionate and overwhelming
Bright as the sun
Like a shining star in the dark of night
Nothing but a blinding light
Fast and furious
Everything all at once
So much love and so much beauty
All a force so strong I can barely say no
The other
A peace so calming
A place in your arms that I call home
A safety that I’ve never felt
A peace and a serenity
A place I can breath
A certainty to things and a lack of fear
Now to decide which I want
And which I need
The two choices
Laying before me
I look in both your eyes
So filled with love
Both in love with me
And unsure of who to pick
I’m drawn of course to one
But my brain is telling me
To stay where it’s safe
But my heart yearns after more
Unsure of what to do
And unsure of where to go
I stay standing
Staring at both choices
Incapable of making a decision
I think I’m in love with two people, I’ve never felt this way before I’m so scared to hurt anyone, but I can’t stop the way I feel
You were my first kiss
It’s true
No way around it
But when you kissed me
I felt nothing
Except disappointment
I thought your first kiss
Was supposed to be
Life changing
The best
It just
Felt wrong
Out of place
And almost forced
You kissed me
I didn’t kiss you
You wanted me
I tolerated you
But when he kissed me
My stomach did a flip
There were fireworks
Going off in my mind
He took my breath away
You just took my first kiss
I said I loved you
You said you loved me
I knew it wasn’t true
They were just words
But when he touches my face
And pulls away from my lips
To whisper to me his love
My whole body smiles
Yes you were my first kiss
But he is my first love
There’s a boy now and he’s changed my world
There’s a boy now
And I think maybe
He is my world
I haven't felt this way in awhile
I haven't had any words left in my heart
Each time I sat to write
My soul was vacant
And nothing felt right
Now after all this time
I sit with my laptop on hand
And my words are there
And it feels pure
My lungs finally fill with the air
They have craved for so long
It's been such a dark and lonely road
But with you back in my life
The paradox that somehow
Makes everything feel right
You, the one I thought was gone
You, the one who I tried to forget
You, the one who I did wrong
Giving me a second chance
After all this time
You are the strangest paradox I know
Yet at the end of the day
I can't help but to say
I love you
A poem about a person I once lost
A poem about someone I know can't live without
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