Ghost faces
A noose
Of shoe laces
My mind filled
With
Bad places
It just paces
Running circles
And losing races
My nerves fired
I'm lost among
My own
cold cases

"I've run out of words, It's all something you've heard."

I used to say
My heart had holes
And
Was bruised and beaten
But
Now I find
Someone else's Demons
Had it eaten

So I just dont have one
Now I know
Why I'm just
Done

It's hard to write
When its only for me

It doesn't feel right
It's an empty plea

Each word forever pasted
Just seems like my time is wasted

It's so hard to write
With this blight of grief

It's hard to write
When it's not a relief

I have fear in my heart
Of being torn apart
Or watching the past
Come to pass

I know I've done well
to cope with my loss
with my patience to sell
With no anger, not cross

I fear I won't be understood
I fear you truly aren't that good
I fear what I've seen hide beneath
A devil with gnarled teeth

My heart has been bruised and burned
I feel like I always learned
Only to find it all again
Now that I'm here,
It's a matter of when

I'm full of the anticipation of failure
That I won't be the best for her
and the pattern will show it's face
With my heart being put in it's place

I know I must learn to give
I know it's the only way to live
But
This fear drives me insane
Thinking of the pain, from my own brain

Clawing the back of my mind
A deadly poison making me blind
I'm lost in an unknown sense of feeling
But I can't see the hands I'm dealing

I need to be understood
Help me if you would
For this fear is a truth so bold
and
These outcomes of my life are getting old

Hell is simply forgetting what true love can feel like.

She is my escape from reality; my gift of joy.

There are things you need to understand
That when you said you loved me and took my hand
In that moment I gave you my fear
In that moment I told you everything dear

Yet, there are things you must find alone
Things that I can never atone
Hidden scars that are carved into me
Scars that only you can see

I hope that when they become visible to the eye
That you don’t run and leave me to die
These scars are slowly killing me
Slowly destroying who I used to be

So please don’t run away
Help me heal day by day
You are the only one that can lift me above
You are the only one I love

My thoughts always streamline
With the usual I'm fine

But I'm now merely a shell
So flawless you couldn't tell

That I'd rather give up on my soul
Than experience another hole

That'll welcome itself into my heart
Whispering
Til death do us part

Well I'm back with stuff to say
So I hope if you're reading you will stay
I've got heartbreak and many a lesson
With my words I won't be messin'
Around with them, not a single word
I won't stop even if left unheard
Even if the paper begins to light
I'll continue to write
Because this is a witness to my fight
Thats always on my mind
Peace was long gone, but it's what I find
That makes me just say I'm fine
I'll set myself on rewind
And scribe all of my pain
Because, ****, I'm sick of the rain

"My inner madness is the therapist for my inner sadness."

"Once again, someone proved my ideal of love completely wrong."

There is something you must know
That every minute and every place I go
I am battling my past and it's brutality
Getting so beaten I seemingly forget this reality

I want to so badly forget this somehow
This is where I say I really need you now
You will see my scars and feel my pain
Unforgotten memories I don't want to retain

Beaten for no reason
Forgotten by family as if committed and unknown treason
Called names with no proper ground
I've lost so much, with nothing found

This is where I really need you
This one thing I ask of you to do
Please accept me for my painful past
Hold me close and help me forget these memories at last

I''m letting go for good darling
I'm sick and tired of the quarreling
You say that you love me ever so much
That you want to be with me and feel my touch

Yet you never answer your phone
you don't ever reply, you leave me feeling alone
You get mad when I then make assumptions
Then you come up with all these presumptions

You can't even follow your own word
When I call you out, you act like a coward
You come up with the same excuses
With that my trust it reduces

You are not the one I remember falling for
That one must have died crumpled on the floor
I can't see the light with us anymore
Which is unfortunate, because only you I could adore

I'm letting go for good ***
Consider myself dead and done
I was hoping for a better outcome

I can no longer love what you have become

But I finally convinced my demons I'm one of them.

"Dude I am out,
Of what was hell no doubt."

For you, I will peel back my hearts callused layers.

Some people just don't understand
That I can read a face like the back of my hand
With an Inner Critic at the back if my mind
It judges and examines everyone I find

Along with every action I take
Are you sure that's not a mistake
With every person I meet
Lair, Lie! Flaw! Flaw! Don't even greet

But I'm the victim here
No one likes you, you're weird. Don't go near
But I can't always be alone
Just use your phone

It doesn't stop, it's forever speaking
Ruthlessly reminding me of my flaws
Into my hollow core it's forever peaking
It scratches the inside skull with claws

It belittles and berates
It remembers all the dates
That were your most bleak
When you try you can't speak

You unwillingly see the worst in friends
Your relationship bends
Then you are the one to blame
As continues the game

The Inner Critic, oh the mastermind
Quick as ever, one of a kind
You can't  turn and run
Help, it's no longer fun

Can you hear the cry
of my inner self sentenced to die?
I'm shouting your name
I'm was glad you came
Save me from my own hell
It's taking me, can't you tell!
I can't keep doing this
I can no longer swing my fist
I feel weak
a constant losing streak
I need to see you darling
Your love so startling
But you have walked away
Leaving with no words to say
I think it's time to take
The demons hand, and never awake

"Your voice was a sweet lulluby, such a bittersweet goodbye."

When a heart shatters to pieces
It takes someone of a similar break
That can simply pick up all the shards
and put all them back together.
Whether the pieces are right or wrong
Both have a fixed heart that will beat
and forever be intertwined.

"You are now simply a dream, so it may seem."

You asked what is in my mind
and I told you that you will not like what you find
Yet you insisted I show you around
At first you thought peace and love is what you found

When all of a sudden it began to rain down
and you started crying because you can see my pain now
The struggles I've witnessed and undergone
  Manifested and alive in a row leading on

Welcome to my oblivion I say
and I try to lead you away
But you instead to turned to me and gave me a kiss
Which has always been a sweet bliss

I said what was that for
You stated that there will be many more
To kiss away all my pain
In that moment everything stopped
and so did the rain

"I died long ago, when she was happy without me."

I'm the puppet, you the puppeteer
A master in how you control and steer
But the problem with being a puppet doll
Is that we don't know love at all
We simply do what you need
And hear ever plead
When we try to walk away
It's you that gets the last say
It's always I love you, said just the same
As if it's some sort of game
Of cat and mouse
But I'm a puppet, so you tightened the strings
Once you saw them you clipped my wings
Captivated by that siren song
It's okay I'll follow along

It's the darkest of words we are most related to.

Nearly everything is a distraction, to prevent honest self-discovery.

I've fallen into that inner void
That you'd do your best to avoid
All I find is a Jester laughing like I said the joke
But looking at a replay of my life
The King lights his smoke

Thinking of his past Queens
Looking at all the inbetweens
The rights and wrongs
The places where feeling belongs

But this void is angry and seething
Its a Demon and its teething
With a enraged disgust and distrust
Its a beast that hates one of it's own
Listen you simply must

I've seen the real you and you're no Skipper
You're no Queen, you were the Ripper
You were the Jack of all trades, master of them all
But only the ones that guarantee your King's fall

You just simply do not exist
Please don't resist
Just ride your white cloud into hell
You to me are nothing, as I can tell

The King puts out his smoke
In the end you were the Joke

I will always know your skin
And who you are within
I'll always know that look
But I read you like a book
Caving to your desire
Inside you're just a flier
I'll toss you about
But you love self doubt
You always smiled in bed
But never in your head

My feelings are lackluster
Sadness and Anger only show for muster
Happiness and Love never show
Down
Down
Down
It's the only way to go

With how hard I feel, my heart is lead
In a pool of water where I can drown
But rest my head
Only knowing how to frown
Going
Down
Down
Dow...

Let's sip this bottle dear
I'll listen to you and hear
Let's be real no relationship is near
I think that is simply clear
You are young and love to lie
That's why when you're alone you cry
Because Karma in the form of guilt
Makes you wither and wilt
At this point I want to see what you become
Do you grow or simply succumb
To the dead ambitions of your past life
You still brandish the knife
That gave you control in the first place
Confidence in black lace
But all you do with that knife is ****
Both you and the person you're looking in the eyes
But you cover it up, It's against my will
And you wonder why your inner woman dies

Its time to lay waste to my past
I will attempt to make this my last
Its time to move on from my attempts that failed
Along with my life that completely derailed

I will do this to write a new past with you
Remembering every detail and word of what we do
I'm at my happiest with you at my side
And in my heart you will always reside

I am grateful for your beating heart
You fixed in me what fell apart
I am grateful for the person you simply are
And I will wait for you to be by me again, near or far

"I rebuilt my Temple, just to jump from the roof."

I'd rather cease to exist because I'm honestly never missed.

Leave me to the sea. Where I can float effortlessly. Lost in though and weightless. The most free I can be.

"I just hope you know, I didn't want to go."

Life is Death, but also the wake you have created.

My friends passed out
And I have no doubt
That we'll see worse in you
In the things you do
Because that hammer will always hit your thumb
Saying you're young and dumb

Let's go with nothing planned
Just me and you hand in hand
Let's enjoy the little things now
Just us being the way we know how

Let's go on an adventure
Get lost then, for sure
Let's take over the world one city at a time
Get cheap things for a penny and a dime

Let's not let a moment slip past
No moment can be the last
Let's do what others are scared too
Conquer it all just us two

Let's be that team no one can beat
Because you know, we are pretty neat.

Let us walk hand in hand
Leaving footprints in the sand
Let us look in each others eyes
and make sure that neither cries
Let us hold each other tight
Knowing that we are each others light
Let us kiss in the rain
Let the sensation soak away the pain
Let us be together
Let us last forever

My defeat will be the lies I fail to deceit.

Your words make me sad
Your words make me so mad
All you have are lies
Trying to not break the ties
Did you not think I would find out?
That you speak with complete doubt
About where you were
You don't sound very sure
I fell for them once to
Because I had faith in you
That you could stop being fake
but your words are dead at the bottom of the lake
So I walk away
Hoping you will learn to stop the lies someday

It's dying while living, just to say you're stronger now.