Walking in with high hopes
I knew that I’d fall
A cushioned landing waited below

Skin shreds with every reach, pull, and hang
Fingers bleed and sweaty palms
Slide and scrape against the rocks
The climb left me before I left the wall

With numbness in my hands and my toes,
But mostly my cheeks disfigured by nails
Pinning up a spastic smile
You had no belayer obligation
No rope tied on
My harness to your grip
A concrete landing waited below.

Salivating
Slide in
Sugar-searching serpent
You spark
In this ****
A naive mind
That this might
Work out
Before you
Tire out
Tonguing
Lemon-lime lollies
Licking your lips
For a confection
A bit more
Cherry

Cello cords snap, slice, fresh
Wounds bloom next to old scabs
Rosy slits puncture through cotton gloves
With thread and time, they say
We’ll mend.
Intertwining blows face a silent war
Unwinded by a cannon salute.
Across the battlefield
Conductors pick up their batons
Holding ready
Waiting
For you to throw
The opening note
Waiting
For me to throw
The first Molotov
Shatters.
The trumpet hook screeches
A familiar overture blares
Confetti glass garnishes our drinks
Gasoline reek, whiskey aftertaste
A night of dancing dares.
We fall back
Into a bed of thorns
Composed by sleepless fights
We have not learned to knit or sew
Our petals dangle from the receptacle
Swaying to the chorus.

Swerving in, I re-enter
A roundabout conversation
Driving mindless words
You make me flushed
It gives me a rush
As all of our cars
Scramble out of our garages
Directionless.

I clung on to the feeling
You and I were molded the same way
By our foundations and roots
Nestled deep in the same place of belonging
Quiet and withdrawn, in the shadows
We grew slow, dipping our leaves into a shy beam of sun
But only I dared to branch out
Come out of the shadows and search for the light
To stand in the glory and to expand.

You don't want to be in my photos.
That’s fine, a thumbtack will stay in your place
You don't want to be in my videos.
That’s fine, I can trim, cut, edit
Until your shadow is completely erased
You don't want to be in my life.
Click
Drag
Delete
That’s fine with me.

You forget my name
I’ll say it, spell it out, write it down
Repeat that same two-syllable word
You’re quick to forget
Flowers are pretty little things
And all their names must blur together
For you, who cannot speak their language

Hi! My name is --
       Armpit fat hanging out from the strangulation of my push up bra,
       Unlovely love handles poorly clothed by leggings waistband,
       A zebra-striped, stretch-marked ***,
       Shoulder-length, untamed mane resting on weightlifter traps,
       Snub nose on a face as circular and flat as a waiter’s tray,
       Except for the hilly scar on the tip of my snout,
       Eye bags of a zombie risen from the bed,
       Juicy, voluminous, red Skittle zits,
       Accompanied by a mole like Marilyn’s
       (But this one ain’t so ****),
       Four foot eleven and a half plus high heel calluses,
-- Katie for short.
But despite what I’m called,
Maybe we can get to know each other
A little better?

When I am at the peak of my span
These petals open, blossoming,
You step on my face and tell me
I am who you see
Through your cataractal lenses
THAT is me, who I am supposed to be
With my name stripped away,
And that a flower’s life is destined
For sitting still and smiling
For prying fingers to uproot
Its body from the earth
Then to rot in a broken vase.

I heard the alarm burst last night
Put me in the driveway, the smoke in the sky
Veiled the moon and flames ripped the roof
House down, house down

I sat on the sidewalk, barefoot with crisp hair
Heard sirens scream and babies scared
Crying for holy water and the dormant gods
Heaven down, heaven down

They told me I would be safe
If I stayed put where I was laid
I scorned these streets and scorched the people
Who marched through puddles unafraid

I am the candle who’s met its match
Stripped down to the wick and molten wax
Smell the charred roses and barbequed grass
Woman down, woman down

I see red and feel the sting
Sparks dancing on my fingertips
Pinching them shut, they turn to ash
I refuse to burn this city down.

Skin-deep,
I can tolerate you.
Flesh-deep,
You make me gag
but I’ll try not to *****.
Open up your heart and soul and everything else,
All that leaks out is musty air.

Like a plastic ornament,
You dangle unsteadily
On the bristles of a Christmas tree
It is my tremor
From our exchanges
That will loosen your desperate cling
From my limp arms.

If this world were to ever turn red
Like ripe pomegranates or strawberry spread
You’ll feel the pull as I tug on this thread.

  Let me scribble all over your balmy skin
  With details about my soaking sins
  Until you’re covered with my poison within.

  Let me greet you with my ruby lips
  I’m feeling feline, my teeth might nip
  But there’s no knowing where my tongue might slip.

If this world were to ever turn red
Like opera curtains or a feverish head
We can put on a show in my backyard shed.

  Let me document you in this space
  You yearn for the power I make you chase
  Camouflaged in feather, leather, and lace.

  Let me guide your figure onto the floor
  Then obey and get onto your fours
  Fight with a devil and you’ll lose the war.

If this world were to ever turn red
--It’s really just a matter of when
There’s not a color I’d prefer instead.

Pink sunsets and gold
We lay without clothes
The sky feels so close

Warm waters dancing
Colors romancing
Time never gets old

Just before I drift to sleep
I think about what you think
But I’ll never know

Pink sunsets and gold
We lay without clothes
Then the air grows cold

Blue summer is here
When you are not near
It’s our time to go

Just before I drift to sleep
Please don’t let me see you leave
So I’ll never know

Pink sunsets and gold
I lay without clothes
Wishing you were close