It is funny to think
That the universe
In its grand complexity,
Its clockwork perfection,
Consists of energy....
Or the lack of it.

What if I told you
That God
Was the sum of all energy
In the universe?

Would you hate me?
Would you read
what ever rule book
You find most agreeable
Or were born under
And redefine your borders?

Or squeeze your eyes
Shut
And squeeze your ledger
tighter
As to make its pages
More real.

Knowing that in the end
Many a good man
Has never been to church
And even more so
Has died under its
Gilded boot.

Do not wait till your dying breath
To realize
That you are the church.
The way,
The stars,
And only a piece of the puzzle
That can only be viewed
As whole
From a dimension
Once removed.
Both small and insignificant
Yet without you

Incomplete

In my heart there is a place I can hear you
your issuing romance exploded from dreamy eyes
all I can see is where I was
and where I want to be

I see now what is meant by the cruel game.
I am not sure you see me as I see you
a two way mirror?
a blank sheet of news?
Do you hear me now or do you hear me then?
What about me, do I hear you now
or do I hear what I expect you to be?

In the end the cold truth wedges itself under my fingernails.
I find myself falling in love with you
the longer you are away
and I don't care to do that to you
as it would be an unfair butterfly net
for a soul such as yours

When you look at me just right
when the noise is low and my soul is quiet
all I can see is the crushing power
within your eyes
the stuttering word killer
the lonely mountain
I remember making good on a promise
to walk you out to my car
and kiss you like an 80's movie

and we barely made it to the book store

Would you like to find that with me again?

It isn't shown in bending steel
it isn't knowing why it bends.
It's not found in the knowledge of
and it's not even knowing when.
It can't be earned through slashing rage
or syphoned from all that it rends.
It's secret slightly hinted at
in the humming song that it sends
and one day when the heat is gone
and you hurl it end over end
that's when its balance strikes your soul
its mirrored gleam, your strength is kenned

In that time
When we were whole
When all we could think about
Was each other

And my soul was clean

We spent time
Learning the riddles
In each others skin
Painting with lightening
And ice
Words like brushes
Arcing across dimensions
All circling about our hearts
A wind in the weaves of fate
Whispering a gift to us
Like we had never known

In the morning
Before work some days past
You came out from about
A wooden corner
You seemed to have a billion eyes
And they all smiled at me
Like the calm luster
Of the moon

"I'm late" you said
And I got half way through
The stupid " you don't work toda...."
When my soul slapped my brain
Across the face with such raw ferocity
That I was worried the neighbors
Would call the police

Stammering like a drunken lunatic
I went to her and embraced the
Glow of her, the energy piercing us
Coiling about in infinite design

Just this once did I ever know peace

We talked about everything
My body went to work
My mind dreamt and my soul...
Well it danced. We brought life
to our parents eyes
and hope to ours.


It was just a few weeks in
And that same wooden corner
And that same beautiful woman
But there was fear
So much fear
A red red fear
And the world turned grey

Her words were like ashes to me
Cast over my frozen body
I stood blank
holding her heaving form

"It doesn't want to stay" she said
"Why doesn't it wan't to stay ?"

I wanted to say something
Anything!!
But I died right there
Still breathing
Holding her in Pompei comfort.
Like a little wooden man
Holding a plastic flower
Begging to forget the answer
To whether or not
God gave a ****.

I can't help but wonder
When toddlers trip and blunder
How we managed to ever survive

In their noggins the make
Of the brave Sir Francis Drake
The rest, accidental suicide.

I found you again today.
In a box
I almost threw you away,
you know?

Buried in a bunch.
A mess of high school calculus
And little lost ideas.

Purple words,
Dead words. Love words now withered, Like bandages about a corpse.

You can't heal the dead ya know.

I guess even the richest king
Must end up in a tomb.
Mouth agape in frozen complaint.
Covered sadly, with golden futility.
By those who knew him so little.


But, it spoke as it always did
Simply and impossible to ignore.
Like sand in the eyes.
Like your eyes.

Reminding me of old foot prints.

Reminding me of me
When love was so singular,
Easy and yet.....

It oiled my rusty smile
Enough
To kiss you good bye

Again.

The center seat stinks
can't move my knees, crushed and hot
such a landfill spot

Oh please play a while
and turn my blood into wine
bards of weary smiles

Hey,
I dont really know you
But I've seen you everywhere
Always miraculously
Walking in the rain.

I know you feel
Like your the only one
With real problems
And that it somehow
Makes you feel special

I know your father died
I know you did too
And you've been haunting life
Like a little grey dream
Ever since

I know that you think
The least of yourself
And that maybe
You aren't worth the time
To understand

But you talk anyway
With your eyes
With your lost shoulders
With the subtle smirk
And a lazy three fingered wave

And so I listen
I know you need help
With the shattered bits
The lines on your wrists
But you won't ask

And I sure as hell
Won't leave you here.

Sketch your love for me.
She produced her stencil box
fresh with only three.

I left you behind.
I had too,
the pain was crushing me.
I couldn't breath anymore.

I could see naught
but the spectrum of iron and ash.

It struck me so profoundly,
As if I had seen the impossible lines
In gods ancient hands.
A resonating slap across the soul.

I could not be you anymore.
But I left you her picture,
a beautiful, broken path
and I crawled away.

I cried everyday.
At first in every regard,
and then mostly inward.
I became as a black veil
as the cathedral I build to her
slowly melted away
in the acids of anger and pain.

Around the ruin
I dug a mote
and I filled it with sarcastic regret
and I set it ablaze with volcanic irony
the hate of how I was.

I built a Castle from my own remains,
a dread and lifeless thing.
Stone by stone,
Quarried from the shell
of what I thought love would be
Each splashed with a crimson
"never again" and set soundly
against all who would come calling.

I have lived here ever since.
Walls lined with exquisite paintings.
Markers of siege I withstood
each a beautiful face, lost but never forgotten.

Everyday I sit at a simple table
covered in the jigsaw mess of it,
a broken song I wish to sing
but I am missing so many pieces
and I left the box with you.

Every ****** night
before I go to bed
I look in the silver reflection
beset by patina and time
and I peer back at the familiar
seventeen year old boy there
who has yet to fall in love with her,
to be wrapped in the glory
of her soul
and I tell the dreams in his eyes
the very essence of him
the wayward pieces of me
I am sorry, I am so very sorry,

But I had to leave you behind.

Seeking the humblest
of answers
To the grandest of inquiries
on the outside

by looking
in the deepest reflections
of what makes us worthy
to be called human

on the inside

I see this space, unraveled eyes.  
The tight ropes that sing when plucked.
The wisdom embedded in the halls of failed yesterdays.
The smiles that preach endless laughter
to the unsuspecting mourning soul.
Falling sparks of ever winter moonlight
beckoning all who see

not for greater glory, ambition, or power. 
 Just the wisdom in old tears, the wealth of blood, the anchor of friendship, and the honor of holding the future accountable.

Where may I roam,
that the bullet graze
across my hunched over heart
will cease to glow hot
fanned
By the lonely headwinds
of what new lovers
used to say.

Standing accused
Only seven winters to my name
Moused by my fathers presence.
The very fear of it
Pressing the notion of gallows
Into the wooden casing
of our Iowa doorworks.

Challenging the gateway,
The neighborhood
John wayne gacey
Barely hiding his knives
Behind bruise cloaked eyes.
His corner man?
The no **** taking mother?

There were words
Little parental valkyrie fighting
In the air, encircling my head
With clashing shield and spear.
And finally the question.

Why did you do it?

All stared at the tiny
Self proclaimed savior of worms, snakes, and birds.

You see,

Bill was attempting to make an end.
The end of yet another small life.
And so when seeing bill peddling
Toward the beginnings of a robin
Upon surely what was that robins ending.
Seven winters brave flew across
The grand expanse of 7th st
Slamming into the animal antichrist,
Scooping up that prey,
And retreating to the stanktity*
That was our garage.

While that poured from my mind,
Like a voiceless demigod
Left to statue in the garden
Of inexperience.

Only this escaped,
A horse and cracked,
Solid stab at the truth.
"Because my heart told me to"
Behind the then untamed fiery youth
In my fathers eyes, the fury...
Was the golden pride
Only found
Singular ever
In that one
place.

Knowing
Intimately
Just how much
I can live without
And still feel
whole

We are connected You and I
like silver thread spanning memories.
Time wafts across those razor paths
In spiral waves of spiders planning.
With mundane approach we collide and stride
The ways of countless others.
Some we fix, and some go broke,
knocked about by alley cat whims.

Sometimes,
to open ones heart
we must first close our eyes.
Finally, we just might see
that our lives were never really about
the mirror, the pocket, the haircut, or the scales
but the starry breath that's given outwards
subtly illuminating the forgotten spaces
between the marks on the rule of life.
Counted simply in smiles, lost and lonely.
And who should stumble upon this
wisdom so battered and worn?
So old that the language it was first written in
has almost evaporated wholly,
bathed in the fires of what we have become.
Only the humble, the found,
the owl minded fool may tell.

There is a person that I once knew.
Like a masterpiece in a museum
She hung on the walls of a good mans heart.

But back behind
The steady red velvet ropes,
there was not the proper light,
And her smile became shadowed and blurred.

The curator noticed the change
and in an effort to free her
Started washing her canvas with spirits,
a bottle shaped like escape.

It started changing her hue
And it freightened me
I knew she would not be here much longer
And that freightened me more.

I knew I would miss the
Endless eon skies
When her eyes met mine.
But she had to go and
I was left Gemini of heart

I still remember to this day
The soaring cobalt towers,
The little soul echos,
The stardust whisps that wished
Someone could comprehend
The poems
in her endless eon skies.

I watched the moments of silver haired lifers.
In a garden of forgotten
and overgrown things.

I could not help but notice the rust of it,
the splinters of it
how thirsty it all was.
Like an old coat of paint
on an old field plow

He would bring her a queen's many flowers
in a wheelbarrow sarcastically too small
stopping and going like Morse code words
always looking three steps away
from 5 O'Clock lemonade
and a porch swing pipe.

But not that stubborn barrow.

It moved with him, supporting that beauty.
A brave thing, a tested thing, a balanced thing.

Through the days they slowly wore
a rut through that garden.
An arching scar left by an underfed tire
All for the smiles of passersby
and the twinkle in an old mothers eyes.

I felt the words on the wind just then
"I hope to find love like theirs one day"
I whispered back
"I hope to find love like that wheelbarrow"
...
one day.

Your construct is enslaving us
we beg and beg for more
trading life and family time
for that bi-weekly score

they will feed you to make you sick
then patch you still unwhole
all the while demanding payment
a form of death control

we borrow what does not exist
from whom we've never seen
try to fill that empty hollow
with California dreams

behind this clever tragedy
wearing the glaring grins
are statues cold, fashioned in gold
of little empty men

Isn't it sad
that the shear host of us
umbrellas to block the glow
The light
we used to taste
in one another's
soul

the ocean is blind and beautiful
searching the lonely shore
For what it had, time long past
a love for once before

It worships the ever knowing sun
but dances with the moon
Sacrificing for its love
the rain for springtime blooms

the summer begs so much more of it
the ocean must comply
so storms forge from anvil heights
and paint the raging sky

soon the sun forgets her loyal charm
trees mourn their sour loss
the ocean grows cruel and cold
scarlet leaves wave and toss

what is love with out that flowing fire
her sorrow falls as snow
the earth dreams as winters guest
as its veins seize and slow

the sun will rise once again one day
and she will froth and gleam
sorrow melts returning home
in worn yet hopeful streams

So 16 bit, I beg of you
Every time I switch you on
Galvanize time 'till I am dust
Adventures perilous and long

I am folded and dog eared.
banging off the walls
of your corroded arteries
one of countless fliers
so black and red
with a smirk
and a few choice words
faded by avalanche fire
just a paper boy
and his paper life
blowing about the entrails
of this card board
cutout cell.

I was not asked to bare a cross
I carry a mantle instead
Of woven dreams
With hope spun seems
In a salty loveloss red.

I was not asked to speak aloud
But I shall do it anyway
As hand grenades
Or sweet cascades
Like an actor's last of days

I was not asked to know this fire
So I will feed it with my coal
Until it drowns
With in the bounds
Of my mighty roaring soul

I was not asked to sit here still
And breathe the colors of the sky
These clouds of mine
Go astray in time
Releasing the arcane eye

I miss the wind of them.
Those raspberry pancake
words.
The giggly syrup floods
in monster truck style.
The no's and the pouts,
the boxing bouts.
The random dinosaur
I love you,
from cookie filled smiles.

Music again.
It always comes to music.
Always good, in its misty perfection.
It is the bridge to your yestermind.
The smiles in the way far back.
Even for the lost. the dying.
The electric guitar in my veins.
Stinging strings ripping my soul.
Not for damage but for greater growth!
The cancer everyone needs.
Like bubonic symphonic coos
from metal head doves
of golden fired mustering.
A parade down mirrored streets.
Gliding like fireflies
across all the paths that are you.
Dead on
right on
cried on
thoroughly you.
uncontrollably you.
Fathom the fullness of chasing something
that resides entirely in your soul?
An alchemy of pox - e, moxie,
and all things cobalt blue.
The moon light see of answers.
Only an ear away.

Please plug the flood in my mind.
Pouring like entrancing zebras
prancing shimmering florists
in jackets of hourglass sand.
For they whisper unknown
dimensions of glory
through which I must answer to.
A coin of two sides and infinite meaning.
A part of all things.
apart from all things.
Once you see it,
you can believe it,
dream it, be it.
like the legit twits, lit
as roses in the holy light
of McDonalds.
It's ghastly clown arithmetic
burning its disability into our pours.
Like plasma jelly,
purple and vinyl,
shining like a princely jazz nightmare.
Scribbling on the pink waves of our brains
with sugars and lightening,
with gripping consequence.
like children at play.
like a blade.
like having purpose.
like a mothers kiss.

The universes' grand practical joke.
A relentless blood blister between
the fingers of space and time.
A bag full of 1 sided die.
oh to BREAK the rules to this game!
To be explorers again,
to be human again.

Shining arcane fish
blister the concrete mind.
The solid stupid.
The flexibility we lost is
an icy sting with a rythmn.
A sacrafice for shuning nature.
She whispers
the cold truths in it
for us...
The little rays of light?
They slick WIDE your vision
of what you can be,
and what you aren't.
And what can one do?
There is no recompense for such a force,
there is no treasure map,
only the BLINDed fish.
only the too little pond.

In my mind.
Feels like a long sunset kiss
on a peach tea porch
overlooked
by the breezy evening sea.
Love is Music

"What can I say"
said the wind to no man
it just is and has to be
like fires on the beach
with cool family you found
under a jar of blinky gravity
systematically tearing at our reality
supersymetrically
super intentionally
wheeling grace, the never withers,
slithers through our childhoods
like a puppy you can't help but pet.
knowing that life might be just a smile
on a dead man
an illusion
substitution for what is "supposed" to be?
And the secret to being happy is bared to us
like the perfect answer to a
Cards against Humanity question.
To see the beauty in this perfect clockwork.
we live in
believe in
see in this, human perception is broken we say.
It shouldn't be this way we plead.
We can't see such a thing as our universe.
Not as it truly is.
We have designed simulation sensories
to interact with its perfection,
biologically.
Can you see, what drives us, pushes us,
is the universe!
this multiplicity of energy
the true enigma of the soul
this soul

You flow through me.
My lost pieces are following you around
like a drifting rumor.
Looks like a door way to me...
Our smiling armor,
slowly oxidizes through playful banter.
Brittle to the touch.
The summation of an odd question
we both asked at the same
time .

Can you see I'm lost
can you see I'm bound
why does it matter
that I'm still around

waiting, fading, wasted
trading in my time
life still has meaning
just read between the lines

do you ever get lost
looking in the mirror
I ask whats the cost
to try and see clearer

we are all stripped enough
tripped enough, clipped enough
somehow I've never
quite sipped enough

Don't you think you should
get to know me
before you go saying
who I should ******* be

can't you see I'm falling
not through the air
I know nothing matters
so why do I still care

where am I going
why am I here
is the unknowing
another name for fear

The wind blows smoke on a darkened day
From a pyre for deeds once done.
I sit in the silence drinking my mead
Shadowed by the dying sun

I watch the phantoms dance the wall
In the grace of one so fare
Wrapped in dusk and a violet mood
With lightening lancing her hair

Why do I stare
She whispers to me
Oh do I dare to show her
All that I see

She catches my mind with a grasping smile
And speaks with gesture of hand
In her eyes I swim the shining sea
And walk the ancient sands

Peace I seek and I found it there
And so here I shall always stay
As starlight blazes from her soul
Only hell shall bar my way

And why do I stare
She whispers to me
Oh do I dare to show her
All that I see

In the realm of the now
I find you all false
Posting and hosting lies
Don't bother to check
What the heck
Infinite alabis

The frightening fiction
Compounded and stacked
If even a few believe
So many, our youth
Mistook as the truth
And so thousands have been decieved

The internet is power
Through fact and fiction
So be careful what you say
History written
Stupidity smitten
Even the brightest minds are clay

A simple embrace.
Dragonflies across my skin.
Starlight flashes within my heart.

Within your eyes
falling petals carrying secrets,
fluttering like raven shadows,
dancing with a violet moon.

Written in vermilion whispers across my weary soul,
"I will carry you"
the rest is
silence.

Moving gently through my will,
the webs of thought hold me still.
I look to life and she says to me,
we're all chained to destiny.

Bold as sunshine she kisses me,
The crushing brings me to my knees.
Space folds and I fall away,
past raining reds shedding mortal clay.

Release me!

The sand of time is the blood in my veins.
Nature slays as it sustains.
We are all cogs in the great machine.
The nothing nowhere in between.

I see the end and I try to run,
But all that is cannot be undone.
I plead to life and she glares at me,
I am all that I will ever be.

With a wink she breaks my mind,
spins my consciousness into twine.
We're all drops in the sea of years,
swimming against a wake of spears.

Transcend me!

The sand of time is the blood in my veins.
Nature slays as it sustains.
We are all cogs in the great machine.
The nothing nowhere in between.

How could I ever get lost
with such a light.

Even if the shadows remain
I will hold you
until the fabric of space unfolds around us.

And when we finally fall
I will look nowhere
but the depths of your eyes
and use their stars,
their wheeling grandeur
to guide me into the abyss
hand in hand with you.

The blank, the dark waves
surrounding, bleeding

I am losing

The war, the will
it burns,
ashes and wind

flowers grow
for dead tyrants and the blessed alike,
the truth, the difference
is in the shadow of belief.

History,
a kings coloring book,
an idiots guide.

Beguiled and crooked
we stumble when we should fly.
We, the footless peasant

We all pray that kings
colored inside the lines.
Some of us chuckle....

Knowing

The only crayons he ever had
were green and red

Flowing silver
plated guise
I Give you a flower
that will never die

Reflect unto me
an unfortunate tone
I give you a necklace
you only want the stone

I know you
burning me
like a black river
from the eyes of time.

Your foggy vision,
a monk with no feet.
I can feel you
but I cannot find.

So sit there then,
sit there and pray.
It's all you have left,
It's all you ever were.

Where do you
want me to be?
What can I give you
that you won't bleed all over?

Only the truth.
Only the past.

My secrets are mine.

Only the wind and the wheel
will ever show you
but you are too busy looking for tomorrow to feel today.
To much vision to see what's now.

I have not moved past you
rather, I have shed you.
Like beer from a bottle.
Making someone happy

at least for now.

your lips are bare.
The moonlight paints your face.
I shall whisper secrets in your temple
of lightning, fire, and space.

Like silk and wind
you dance in shining silence.
A valley of waving winter roses
a beautiful kind of violence.

You speak to me
within your sprawling motions.
A mystery unraveled by my wisdom.
It's a ship to cross your oceans.

I call to you
like echos of the future.
Your falling rains like streams rushed into rivers
Stitches....  without any sutures.