This is not a race war,

This is a let us change our pace war,

It is time to attempt to save face or

Let them brainwash us to hate one another more.

Compton, New York
West side, East side
Nope.
Just a white girl from Mississippi,
Nah, it's not a joke.

My true self, my true words, my true pain.
The world shouldn't have to cope.
The world shouldn't have to think it's alone.
Cause I'm with you,
Oh, I'm with you.
All that hate that you own.
I used to feel some too, but the kind that you evoke?
All that racism that makes you choke.
I'm with you, but you don't have to cope.

Before you let counterproductive words slip from your mouth,
take a minute to think of me. Don't let our fight go South.
I will make a pact from my soul to yours,
I will not let them make racism into another "war".

There's a reason your love stories are broken.
And the one you long for will not return.
There is a reason you ache within your heart,
that there's something for which your soul yearns.
There is a reason you won't expect it,
it is bigger than we can understand.
There is a reason you are in the state you're in
even if it was not part of God's great plan.
The pain you feel within is Eternal,
because you've been where you shouldn't have been.
It doesn't mean your life is over,
it just means you need to move your feet out of what
you are currently standing in.
There is a plan for all your heartbreak, your loss,
and even your sin.
Believe me, or don't. But if you're curious, I'll tell you
about where I was once,
before I let God in.

My niece asked about you yesterday,
she said she liked you.
I said, " I like him too, but we're just friends."
That was a lie, but sometimes it is okay to pretend,
when something is too complicated for a child to comprehend.
I do hope, however, I never have to lie like that again.
Because as the words left my lips
I remembered how achingly I missed
you, my best friend.

It is so good to see you laugh.
So good to see you put yourself first,
and for neither one of us to finish last.

Dear beautiful child of God,
I think you're going to be amazed.
When you see the old, broken pieces
so quickly faded and washed away.

When you get to see a Godly creation,
newly formed and imperfectly made.
A creation of yourself that is so perfect,
because you gave yourself away.

Dear beautiful  you,
I hope you're forgetting about the past.
About what once was, so something better
might come to pass.

Dear you,
it is so good to see you smile.
Even if it is an
awkward, stolen glance
and only lasts this little
short while.

Walking in the world,
I have seen a lot of things.
Some things I wish I had not,
Some things that aren't really
what they seem.

But never have I seen
a love so beautiful and serene.
It captivates those who behold it,
and gives them things beyond
their wildest dream.

I want you to know,
Lover Most Supreme;
I don't want to take for granted
these gifts and miracles
You are blessing me with.
For I want
nothing to come
in between.

What I breathe in
you have just breathed out.
When I give in
You give out.
When I withhold
You hold me in
your arms.
When I'm too bold
You keep me from harm.
When I let go,
You are never very far.

I'm learning so much while I'm on my way to you.
I hope, I pray, I know
You are learning too.
While the seasons are changing,
we'll both be stepping into something new.
A new season, a new heart, and a new me.
You wouldn't believe the changes taking place,
and I hope when we get there,
you love what you see...

There's so much I want to say
Though finding the right words can be so troublesome
A "but" at the wrong time could tear you apart.
An "um" can make me seem unintelligent.
And too many "I"'s may cause us to lose a connection.
The point could be lost at the misplacing of a comma.
And a crummy adjective can throw off our mood.
Though, if you manage to look past my unpunctuated lines
Or my sloppy placing of a rhyme
Or the misspelled words
Or repeating of a theme
You might happen upon something real
A heart conveniently on display
There may be no rhythm
Or Shakespearean resemblance
But each letter is history
And phrase is a lesson
Even if you don't understand
Maybe someone else will
And my version of therapy could be theirs
But God-willing I touch your heart
And be the change I'd like to see
And my words could hug your soul
And hush your inner crying child
Because we aren't alone
I just want my words to sit with you for awhile
I just want the page to be your shoulder
The situation you can put yourself into
And not feel selfish for seeing it as you
The friend you don't have to pretend to hear
Just to get to talk about your day
Let this one time be for you
Let your feelings show
Its the words and you now
Let it take you where you'd like to go

The reason I have indifference
about my own fate,
I know it lies in the hands of
He who is Great.
I know I am His,
it is never too late.
But I can't stop taking care of others
while there are so many left to save.

Because you interpret what you want,
not what I meant.

Don't like my poems because...
You think they color me in a light
that is easier to accept.
I am, what I am, all things-
My past, present
None of it I regret.

Don't like my poems because
you think I'm a genius.
I am just a 22 year old girl,
struggling to type this two minutes
before you will read it.

Don't like my poems because
I am pretty.
Well thank you.
But there's SO MUCH MORE
to anyone of us
But I really am grateful.

Don't like my poems because
you want me to like yours.
I probably will, already do,
I love all verse.

Don't like my poems because
I said do not like them.
I am human,
doing my best
and these words...at least I get them out
most insecurities, doubt, and humanity
**fight them

There are so many dreams I've yet to share.
So many lives, I might never live.
So many times, I said it wasn't fair,
but then again...what really is?
I have nothing left to lose.
And everything to give.
I want nothing more than all the world.
Whatever that really is.

If you want it,
it will be

Try your destiny on,
When it fits, you will **see

I thought I was a gladiator
no suit
but able to save Rome from the fall.
I thought I could bring peace to us all.
But  I  am  the  fall.
I am Rome.
With no team to call upon.
I am burning and burning,
madly playing my song
and here there are no homes.
and no meaning given to a throne.
I am pillaged.
I am plagued.
I will be this burning city for the rest of my days.
And I could never ask you townspeople,
(Who loved my city,
Who worshiped in my churches,
Who dreamt of lives here)
To be able to be peaceful
and forgiving of my ways.
to live with no fear.
I am Rome
Made of ashes, smoking quietly here.
I am alone for the rest of time,
I truthfully fear.

We established who I am,
In the Master's plan
But really who are you?
Do you influence what I go through?
Do you have a hand
Stirring up
The order of fate seemingly run amok.
I'm trying to figure you out
Do you scream?
Do you pout?
At least I know you're wicked
in your ways,
Illuminate the truth as it flickers,
Lest some "secret" society brings about the end of our days.

If you were my friend then,
you are my friend now.
Don't get so wrapped up,
in the why or how.
If I can't be there for you,
Or you can't be there for me.
Take comfort in the fact
we need no apologies.
My friend, find a way somehow.
There is no then or when,
just a chance to try again now.

Well if you're wanting honest,
sometimes I know it all.

I have said it before,
and with this, they will surely have a ball.

But here's another truth.
I know nothing at all

Blame it on my worldly youth,
certainly not the alcohol.

I have persisted in being right,
but self-righteous? I ain't that type.

Hollywood smile, and a body to match
Seemingly lovely, but there's certainly a catch.

Watch your sins and thy evil back.
I am of light, and in fact,
I am coming for atonement
of those opponents who lack
grace and love behind their backs

I AM SEEKING.
dethronement,in the form of modern day locust.
A plague on your houses, as I focus
on what you hide out of sight.
**I find my best days
come after ridding the world
of the longest and darkest nights.

We are all burning at both ends.
Some more than others,
On the clock we must depend.
Let's hide under covers
and never give in.
Let me wear your bad days.
Celebrate you when you win.
It makes for a beautiful dance.
A Childish romance.
It all depends on more than just happenstance.
It's the kind of work you carry in your spine.
"The back breaking, soul fulfilling, leave me supine" kind.
You know it's something worth it when it transcends time.
Like if we could just have this forever, we would be fine.
I never want to give up what must have taken all my lives
to find. Something that is truly one of a kind.

People flock to us cause the word drops through us.
Now we're all either Buddhas or barracudas.
Lookin' through our maneuvers,  
try and out do us,
just a tumor nothing to us.
And I've been breathing so long,
lettin in light.
Try and discern when they began confusing wrong with what is right.
Wondering still how long I remain out of sight.
Perish or ****,
I just wanted to be with life.

The most important thing
we should realize is
I could never be me
Without you.

Today I laughed at someone else's pain
Tomorrow I seek selfish gain
It broke my heart to no end
How I wished suffering on an old friend
No one's fault here for what you have become
Though thought should be with you for what could be undone
Try not to remain in the mistakes you've made
How much do I blame myself for the part I had played.

Nothing is as intangible as the time in your childhood when you dreamed
Though nothing here on earth has ever been what it really seemed
No one ever tells stories of a damsel in distress
Who drove away every nice prince because her heart was in a mess
No stories about the villain, the one that got away
Who moved on to another poor princess and ruined her life in some way
But no one ever gets out alive being stuck inside the tower of their past
And you'll never write another fairy tale about the wonders of a love that didn't last
Unless you kick the notion that someday someone will save you
You're bound to make a mess pursuing a villain you can't get through to


So we venture out timidly, always on the alert
Fantasizing about what's his name, though our heart continues to hurt
And maybe when we've given up, or decided to put love on hold
A stranger will begin to seep in, and warm the inside of your heart's mold
He may not be charming, or royal in any manner
And there won't be whistles, bells, or banners
But eventually you've forgotten about that new princess and her villain
You realized everyone was right, he was just one out of a billion
But you realized something else, your prince is not
For his quirks are far more precious than something that's just "hot"
Maybe happily ever after hasn't been discussed just yet
But its still your fairy tale, one you can't forget

Things are not always as they should be.
Even though I'm happy,
It's still a struggle, you see.
Whether it is: Day by day.
Night by night.
Week by week
Decade by decade,
You'll get through.

The key to any struggle, is to focus on that which works for you.

Why is it that I write poetry?
Is it because of the self-torture in me?
Tell me, what is it you see when you read?
A light inside,
or a destructive me?
Have I wallowed so long in these allegories?
Or discovered the truth in a depressing sea?
Reveal-NOW
the truth to me?
Be I a gifted poetess,
or a pathetic sheep?

Oh, what we're taught
Versus what we bought.
Lies in the lines
Spewing from the top.

Now we're all confused
mind tampering by fluoride
They say it's not abuse
kind of like being beaten at Occupy

The world needs a muse
better than Beyonce
I'm not saying I will light the fuse
I'm just saying what they're not saying.

It is up to us to choose
If it is our game or theirs we're playing
Because if it's left up to you
Is it even your words you're saying??

Magic is real
and all around me.
It's amazing and graceful,
I'm forever thankful it found me.
Soothing and chilling
warming and
consuming, it wraps
all around me.
I surrender everything,
to the magical, mighty God
who found me.

It has been so long
since I sat to type.
Of dreams, and heart things
and what my life is like.
It flows so naturally, I almost forgot...
The way I worked things out
Here in this spot.
Its like running a mile
and knowing yourself better by the end.
Like reading someone else's words written about you,
Words written by a friend.
I don't know where I am going,
But once I read back on where I've been...
I know I'm going somewhere
Different than the place I'm in.

You and me,
what do we see?
Is it just a newsfeed,
or a platform from which I can speak?
Or a healthy host to spread disease?
Or something inconvenient like a nosebleed?
I should be reading about Meiosis,
or following a dream.
But I'm here at this desk
staring at this screen.
And I'm blank
and in pain,
and totally not serene.
Is it okay to not know what I mean?

I can't even focus on the keys in front of me
Figuratively
Literally
I am suffocating.
I hate the feeling of having no chains
Because eventually, even that becomes one.
I know we're supposed to say we're never alone.
...But where are they now?
I know I have to be a rock
But I am made of softer things.
And every time I am dropped...
I break.
It's just gravity, but I feel a little smaller than before
My brain tells me I am infinite.
My heart argues this.
And I can't get into it.
You would never find me
Aokigahara

We are not in love.
We are not the Jim and Pam of our time.
we are not poetry in motion,
or any kind of rhyme.
You and I are just
You. and. I.
And it makes sense to me now.
Right now...I believe it.
But when you smile at me.
Dull life lights up and I believe,
You just might mean it.
That my day dreams
could be
reality.
That you could be
with me
Who would believe it?

I'm swimming in an ocean,
far out to sea.
I've lost all magic potions,
to help me just be.
And when I'm scared
I close my eyes.
I picture a time when
everything is going right.
And...suddenly...I...see...

**Everything I could want, I will already be.

This is the thrill of sneaking into an open house,
The adrenaline you felt watching Indiana Jones,
The final frontier
And they keep it centimeters away from your finger tips, guised with fear.
Everything you need,
They will convince you you have.
Thoughts are untouchable.
Technology to make us unapproachable.
Turns us into sheep uncoachable.

****.****.****.
what do you do when your water
has dried up?
What do you do when it isn't enough?
Don't I have other things than us?
Because I have been working.
Haven't I?
I have been dreaming...
haven't I?
Maybe I'm just not thinking
or am I?
There's a world in your eyes.
But what lies
within
mine?
I don't see time.
You feel sublime.
And frankly,
I am tired of my own rhymes.
I pray to the Divine.
And there's something I am doing,
or not doing,
right.
AND IT IS SOMETHING
I am scared
**I CANNOT FIND.

If the beginning of love is a smile,
I should do it more often.
I have been trying to love.
Love so freely
Those I do not love.
To smile upon the face of cruelty.
So sweetly.
To be free.
I think I will smile.
For a while.