When you come from nothing
and you manage to float along
without encouragement or loving,
just basic sad songs.

You grow into something troubling,
and it doesn't take long
before you're only shrugging
when someone who used to be a friend
asks you what's wrong.

I'm only saying this because I was that something
after living without love for so long,
I was broken and struggling
and there was no proper way to get on.

Because this world owes you nothing,
not even a dad and a mom
I accepted that and gave up trusting
Maybe that's where I went wrong?

One day, I will march on the lawn in Washington.
I will say my peace and progress on.
I will tell a million stories
that faded with history.
I will tell FACTS and cold, calculated truth.
I will inform the old and the youth.
I will bring peace to the world's people.
And you.
You may decide if you are with us,
**or with evil.

What greater gift than your love?
Who do I turn to above you?
Who am I made of?

Your breath gives my life meaning.
Your corrections bring holiness to my ways.
I am but a meaningless vapor without you.
But with you, a vapor not in vain.

I never claimed to be more than I am;
A spirit stuck in the body of man.
A curiosity to understand the master plan,
A girl who let emotions get out of hand.

I too have evils I have triumphed,
I too punished as I was punished,
Reddened the face of love with a harsh, flat hand
At the time I could not understand.

I too hated for no reason,
I once shot looks to strangers as though they were guilty of treason,
I too have felt there was nothing to believe in,
I once took daggers to my own skin just to feel myself bleedin.

But there was a reason,
For every bad day, nasty comment, heartbreak, and trauma.
There's a reason, I swear, for everything you call drama.
There's a reason, lurking under the surface of your life.
If you believe,
If you try,
To your dreams you can give flight.

Jesus, your face
I ache to see that face.
I long to run into the World like a bullet
Shot fast and hot out of a cannon.
Burning to scream about your goodness,
to build cities and worlds on top of your Glory.
To climb mountains,
To conquer,
To vanquish...
But you don't care for any of that.
You just long for me keep looking at
**your face.

This is a link to my campaign. I am writer, I have written a play geared towards social change. I have a self-esteem workshop I teach in conjunction with the play. We are 16 days away from the show happening and so much still has to be done! Including raising the funding! Please share this if you know someone willing to help!

http://igg.me/at/7HPrm4thiKw/x/10270964

Everything else for me ends here and now...
I have found the way,
and I have discovered how.
Exactly what I will say,
and hope you all realize the time is now.

We must unite to take back what is ours.
We must work for the greater good.
We must DEMAND a fair and beautiful nation.
Where no one is judged on beliefs about creation,
Where no one can tell us we have to do this.
Where no one is born into less than livable conditions the government lets persist.
WHERE NO ONE IS HATED FOR THEIR RACE.
Where no one can stand to hate while looking love in the face.
WHERE NO ONE IS BETTER THAN THE POOREST MAN,
JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE MORE WEALTH IN THEIR HANDS.

I AM BEGGING THE WORLD TO SEE ME.
*I just want us all to be set free

Violins swell as though it will determine our fate
I imagine your face, harsh and striking fear in my heart
A passionate kiss ignites the moment, my eyes begging you not to depart

Symphonies roar between us
Each note carrying your love further away
Singers belt lyrics to and fro
Please do not go

Its a dance that leads us around the apartment
Room to room, corner to corner
Are you listening yet?
My orchestra has advanced the tempo once again
Though yours seem certain on Grave
Our tempos never matched!
Is this where the mistake was made?

I sway around, sweeping the room with my emotions
You stay in one spot, drowning it with empathy
What should I do? Fling myself from the counter
Is there nothing I may do? The choir sings do you doubt her?

Just go! I fling myself to the floor
You leap like a prince to my rescue you come
Holding my limp frame in your arms
Oh what have you done!

How is the movie you ask?
Not better than the one in my head
Oh never you mind, I'll say
Beethoven is dead

Have I strayed?
Didn't I notice you were there.
Didn't I hear you call my name?
Are you there?

I have forgotten about your fame...
your love for me that endures forever.
My only request be made,
Jesus, please stay the same forever.

Even these words become about something else.
But it's just you.
Jesus.
It's only ever been you.

It is so beautiful here...
I used to think being sad
was something of beauty.
Then it dawned on my heart,
that life is so much more than dark words
or feelings I can choose not to have.

Believe me, I have felt your pain.
I have been more attached to depression,
because it at least would not let me down.  
I have known the death that is life.
I walked a road that was gray and damp...
and I was alone.

Though I haven't got the happiness I think I want.
I know that I have been gifted
with the joy of God.
I know that my troubles may seem terrible in the night,
but peace, rest, love, joy, goodness, kindness, and blessings
all come as
soon as
I choose
to see
it.

We'll always have...
Orion, there to cheer up any fight.

each other, since we've been together
and every. other. single. night.

the holy place.
and all it's mystical wonders.

I'll always have you,
I've since needed nothing other

than your soul
& mine together

No better time could be spent.

I love you more than evil men
love having power, greed, and lust.

I love you there & back again,
until my heart feels like it could bust.

I love you more than I love loving you,
laugh at that if you must.

But the love I love, while loving you
is hardly enough love, it is unjust.

Oh this continuous trial,
Will have to fade.
I have put my faith in You.
I will live another day.
I can see the dawn is rising,
the darkness fades.
Your light is everlasting,
and shines upon my face.

I was wrong, I'm sorry, and I love you.
I hear this song, I worry, and I fear too.
That these letters I'm writing won't be well received,
that the good fight I'm fighting dies with me.
I know God has assigned me to brave these stormy seas.
Anything that finds me will have to face Thee.
And there you will guide me, Lord, your will- let it be.
I was wrong, I'm so sorry, and Lord please help them to see
I want the best for them, just like you have given me.
I pray that when they read my words it is only You they will see.
That heaven shines down and warms them through words you've given me.
Lord I have so much of Your love to give, just please do this through me.

There's a purpose for your life.
If you doubt, remember a man
who denied God three times.
A man who once was Simon,
and became Peter.
A man who converted 3,000 men
into believers.
This same man denied his Christ.
He walked on water with Him
and learned the importance
of where
to keep thine eyes.

We all need something.
Grace.
Love.
Compassion.
Trust.
But my days have been spent judging,
myself mostly, but others if I find I must.
It's a disposition
An antithesis of helpfulness.
I desire to speak life, to give life, to live life
freely...
But I have been stuck in a pit.
And I cannot dig myself out.
And I cannot sit myself down
And say, "what you are feeling is ok.
You are not ruined,
And you're just learning to stay."

You have pretty big shoes to fill.
That expectation should be revealed.
I know you most likely will know this,
and maybe this is more for me than you.
But I have had a taste of the greatest romance.
I have literally walked with Heaven.

And to be transparent,
you are to love me like He does.
I know you won't be perfect.
But there's a fire inside me,
burning up everything that isn't like that love.
And so I won't take anything less.
I won't settle.
I can't.

And the good news is,
whoever these letters are for.
...I won't have to.
Thank you.

Is like biting off a piece of sadness.
I cannot comprise,
but I can surely feel their madness.
I love them all to pieces,
and I just want them to be safe.
I want them to know, for sure,
what's waiting for them in their fate.
I want to shout about the gospel,
tell everyone who breathes.
Jesus is their Savior,
the only one they need.

I guess it all depends,
on the length of your winters and the sin.
I had a friend-
long ago...sing songs and then let go...
again.

I don't think anything could happen,
where I wouldn't really know.
But I guess everything kind of just happens,
and I mostly never know.
You and I sort of just happened...
and then that became a no.
And then my Happiness happened,
I hope it is a state you come to know.

Because there are signs and then desire,
and I guess I have no way to know.
But why do I keep trying?
I think you and I both know.
It doesn't mean it isn't because I'm scared of dying.
But if I don't get to love you again before then-
then I guess I'll never really know.
I just know it's the only thing really worth it-
And when you let it,  I feel like I'm flying
you know?

Inhale, my world.
Try on my outlook, give it a whirl.
Break from rehearsal,
Try and be her all,
I've lived how they all fall
Never believed I would see waterfalls

And then I learned the art of climbing.

The greatest eyes
A blindness
And fury hurts
an enchanted connection
An edge
Resolution
Miracle

I guess they didn't hear the truth the first time-

Innocent people die.
Are beaten.
Rights violated.
By those who are supposed to protect.

That is never okay, no matter the case.
I guess you're just a **** if you walk down the street and happen to be black.

Even if you're a professor, or thirteen year old, or old man. I guess the victim shouldn't ask for it..,right.

I mean to apologize, wholeheartedly and from the pit of my being
There are a lot of things I've done here that lack real meaning
I know you can't see beyond the curse words and violent reactions
That's just the way I developed, using my past as dirt to bury the hatchet
Unacceptable, is the word that comes to mind
When I ponder our interactions that leave me lonelier each time
I don't get how we let things go so far south
How human beings can look at one another and let such hateful things seep out from their mouths
If I had one wish right before I died
It'd be that everyone here on earth could take a deeper look inside
And see that I want to help every single person I can
But the reality of life interferes with all my plans
And if I was better at handling my fate
I'd break with these selfish traditions and learn to escape
And finally set out to do the world some good
But you have to learn to love yourself like you should
And then you can pursue your dreams of saving the world
Though they look at me like I'm some foolish little girl
With dreams of unicorns and fairies floating in my head
When in reality I'd like to see all the world's children fed
I'd like to be there when we actually achieve peace
Instead of wondering if this $125 jacket would look better in fleece
Its trivial the way most of my peers exist
Is it wrong that it irks me and causes me to raise a fist
And say that I won't participate or adjust to the norms
Its not me! In any way, shape, or form.

I may have never shared with you,
what a wretch I was.
The dependency on drugs,
selling them to my friends,
the unforgivable, explicit activities...
you can guess where I'm going with this.
Then there were the wretched things done to me.
That I did not choose.
And I let them all eat away at my soul.
I let a prison become erected around my heart.
I hired guards.
I took new inmates.
And developed strict programs and policies...
We never allowed visitors at my prison.
I remember laying awake at night crying
more than I remember lovely stories from my childhood.
I remember dreaming happy things would happen that
just
never did.

And then I really met Jesus.
Not in the way I met Him when I was 12 years old.
At 12, He was the promise that I wouldn't burn in Hell.
At 22, He became the man who called me by my very own name and beckoned me into a world full of Light.
And I haven't looked back.
I'm not going to look back, except to tell you how dark it really was.
Because I know what it is to feel death.
I know what it is to stay high every day
because life is unbearable.
I know what it is to believe there is a God,
but not know how to reach Him.
I know what it's like to think you aren't
worth it.

BUT YOU ARE.
You are worth dying for in Jesus' eyes.
Can you picture that?
A man who finally loves everything about you
so much so
that He did everything He could
to set you free.
Now you just have to want it.
You have believe you can be free.
Take a good look at where you are.
Now ask yourself, "Am I truly free?"

If your life is anything like what mine used to be...
you aren't.
My heart is breaking for yours.
I know you are out there.
I know you want freedom.
You have to know,
God wants you to have it
more.

Atoms.
Energy.
Thought manifestation.

I must go faster,
I am eager to build Utopia upon this foundation.

You might not understand,
don't bother debating.
The changes I will make
to the world; an awakening.

Imagine you have all the information,
and talent to accomplish what you desire.
You're constantly raising the bar;
Reaching and climbing higher and higher.

But before I lose myself to the high,
Tell me what I am right now matters.
Tell me just one person couldn't do it without me.
Tell me, not for the need of feeling flattered.

I have set something in motion,
I couldn't take back if I tried.
You can never return to a small mind,
once you're on the other side.

I beg you to speak
Anytime you feel the need.
Tell me what I just did was good,
tell me something of my deeds.

I am not some icon
or Jennifer The Great.
I have flaws.
I have been broken.
More than once a day, I too make mistakes.

Your presence is perfection.
I'm happy to be here again.
When my mind was clouded and distant,
I couldn't feel you on my skin.
I'm so thankful for these moments,
you remind me of the life you put me in.
The very breath of Heaven,
living inside my skin.
Take my thoughts,
Take my heart,
and make them like You again.

I dream of a world where we no longer think suffering is a prerequiste for happiness

I dream that I can stroll through crime ridden streets no longer fearing savageness

I dream that I can tell you I am 115 pounds of insecurity, that thinks you will laugh at her dreams of rapping

I dream your eyes loose their jealousy while your hands are clapping

I dream to not fear falling in love
Because wolves have made it into a word most girls know nothing of

I dream the world in my head comes to life
And instead of keeping me awake, the world is seen in a new light

I dream I don't have anxiety about who I am
Because everyone already knows me, and I am finally my own biggest fan

I dream my children can actually know the truth about the world they live in
Instead of comfortably accepting a veil that's too thin

I dream our freedom can exist without having to be defended
I dream that one day people won't be so in love with the idea of being offended

I dream that eventually another pair of eyes will fall on me for the first time the way yours did
and also give them the knowledge that they will love me someday, but they will already know how to forgive

I dream we can outgrow these devices that connect us through disconnection

I dream when I open my physical mailbox inside lies a letter expressing one's truest affection

I dream, larger and with more fury than any other dream, for the moment when everyone realizes being happy starts with just being...happy

I dream for fear of waking

Soul mates
Marriage
I'm still on the fence.

But I never lied once when it comes to love, in my defense.
I never said forever if forever wasn't meant.

And I suppose it's impossible to use something for all your life and not expect any dents.

I guess this is my best and worst subject, everything for which my life was meant.