I've walked roads you can never imagine
I've fallen lower than you might ever reach
I've fractured smaller more than you think
cried so much tears than you'll ever wipe
Taken more insults than you can bear
but that will never matter because
I am past the insults, that I can say
the tears are dry and am weeping no longer,
the bones healed and even stronger
I have learnt the path out of the pit and its stink
and well, my footprints are already lost in the dusty wind...
These roads taught me that no matter how dusty
your path maybe, the brush of persistence will always
get them shining again and that success rents
just at the end of the dusty road... So keep moving and
keep strong...

One lesson I took from my mother is,
always smile even at your saddest moment...
It may not be the ideal situation, but
being sad about it changes nothing...I will
always smile as I walk my every mile
after all the world will only but watch
while I cry alone, it'd rather watch me smile...
The other lesson is go as low as life demands,
there's so much for you to learn in the valleys
of struggle, most of which will help you
successfully hike the steep mountains of success.

Sometimes
A page has to be flipped to find another chapter
some doors have to shut for others to open
tears have to be shed if a soul is to see laughter
a road has to reach the end for another to begin
a generation has to be phased for another to takeover
war has to be fought (peace lost) for peace to be found
sometimes
men rise when others fall, a hole is dug to fill a hole
a fight is started to win a fight, all it cost... to win it all
some lead to follow and others follow to lead
sometimes the chills from the rains of greed
cause the greatest of shivers
when Augeans are clean and ***** are rivers
sometimes
equilibrium is reset by living on the edge
and to know freedom we have to be bound
sometimes calm's plucked off a tree of rage
and for a people to be whole, a people have to be torn
so death has to happen sometimes for life to be born
Sometimes
to find heaven we go through hell for it don't have to start but end well
as savagery brings-forth civilisation,unity's found in the arms of session...
sometimes the loudest of riots are what a people in silence says
as the darkest nights are sometimes recipe for the brightest days

They see castles in the air, I see air in the castles
They see the end of the road as I see the road in the end
the treacherous enemy in every friend
whilst I see potential allies in every adversary
they see the peril in crossing the sea
while I tap the perilous adventures in what they see
they see the horizon of the dawn
I see the dawn of the Horizon
They time love, I love time
they see a storm in the thickest of clouds
I see a silver cloud in the heaviest of storms
they see the future, I see the millennium
they see the maximum, I see the minimum
they sleep to dream, I dream to sleep
they keep to give, I give to keep
They find a burden in the load yet I find the Lord in my burden...
They see the words in the lines, I see the lines in the words
They see shards in the whole as I see the whole in the shards
They see a Caterpillar even in the most beautiful butterfly
I see a floret butterfly in the spine-chill of Caterpillars
they see stalagmites and stalactites, I see future pillars
They see death in life, I see life in death...
because whilst they are people of the world
I am a world of the people, an outsider
beating the odds, going against currents
breaking the rules and gladly paying the price...
they view the game of life by the odds
I view the odds by the game instead and
truthfully speaking, odds don't count...
We all look at one thing, but I see
different, I always will...

You never get accustomed to saying goodbye,
not to family, not to friends... It never ceases
to be sad watching them leave, even when you
understand that they have to go... You never
stop yearning for an extra second that won't be enough
and through sparkly tears laugh... You never stop
feeling empty just after someone dear in your life
leaves even when you knew they are going leave
as soon as they came but then that's human nature...
We are not trees to just drop the old leaves of connection
or to forget the roots beneath the soils of family and friendship...
We ain't flowers to just watch the beautiful petals fall
because we were created to understand and feel
for every connection we create in our universe, be it
an electric charge, a glimpse of a smile, a second of eye
contact, a handshake, a wink... it's never about how long
you've known each other, the length only makes it harder...
You never get used to saying goodbye, you never just let go
of the touch, the palms may unclasp, but the hearts remain
entwined... That's why we miss people like you brother...
Safe Journey Androcles Nyonje, may you always remember
that we love you, and like Karen Kingsbury wrote in my favorite novel "Oceans Apart'
"Love you" means we are always together even when Oceans apart...
So know that even when latitudes apart, we'll always be close to you at heart...
Bon Voyage... and come again bombolini

I never stopped trying to be yours...
no matter how much you pushed me away
no matter how clearly you showed me that I stood no chance
no matter the million times you threw me into a trance
no matter the uncountable times you denied me a  dance
with you to the melancholic ballad of life...
I never stopped trying to be yours
even after so many spiteful cold shoulders through years
even when you cost me Rivers, lakes and Oceans of tears
midst my fears, and even when drunk on beers
I never stopped trying to be yours...

I never stopped trying to be yours
even when you broke promise after promise
even after I knew you were a poisoned chalice
poisoned with pride and darkness inside
I never stopped trying to be yours even when
I knew you were a winter as I was inside
for I never ceased to believe together we would whither
all storms and rather than be mere guests in us find a
place we could call homes...

I never stopped trying to be yours regardless of
how much you despised me, the insults and all
I never stopped trying to have you whole
mind, body, heart and soul...

I never stopped and I never would hadn't you
pushed me beyond a point any heart could bear...
until you pulled so hard I deformed and couldn't snap back
I never stopped trying...

In whatever you do, always put family first...
People come and go, like waves along the shore,
even the closest of friends and the deepest of loves...
Money comes and continues with the same road that brought her...
The glamorous jobs you find, someday you lose or leave behind.
But your family's always the first thing you set eyes on when you open
them at your dawn, the constant in the million variations through your life
the soothing words, the inspiration, the perspiration, the aspiration
the best intentions, the crutches when you're fractured, the
reinforcement when you're almost suffering defeat,
the light in your darkness, the smile in your frown, the high of your low
and probably the only presence beside you at your old age
let alone the last tear to bless your journey to the great beyond
at your grave... treasure every moment you
spend with your family and if you ever have to choose,
always choose family and while at it keep in mind that
great family are friends and great friends are family...

There Is An Old Poet Called Bill
Who hid keys and thought remember he will!
and when he found, what it opened he forgot
He's kind, engaging and chats a lot...
That Good Old Poet Called Bill.

Build castles with the stones they throw at you,
so that the pebbles are rather stepping stones to
a much more ambient skyline of your life...
grow a wild flower out the dirt they throw at you
of such a flamboyant bloom rather than gloom,
construct a bridge with the stumbling blocks they create
then match ahead like there wasn't a speck ahead of you
and of the **** they put you through make manure
to boost the crop of your seemingly impossible dreams...
It's about you, words hurt, people hurt, dreams fail
hearts break apart and folks throw dirt
but none of these will ever affect you as long as you
never let them do, stumbling blocks are tinted bridges
pebbles are great foundations, wild flowers are as scented
as roses if only you look on the brighter side...
Build castles with the stones they throw at you and
they'll come asking how you managed to achieve
great success unaware that in breaking you they made you...

I notice the night's no longer whole because you never call
yet a big part of me still wants to see your face...
just so you know I still hear your voice down the hall
and smell your fragrance in the air polluted by the flowers
with the part of me that still believes my arms are your place
your final destination as you're my constant hallucination
so I spend every little micro second of my daily hours
hoping for a miracle, wishing I were an endless tentacle
or even Heracles, to divert the Augean of your Heart
and have the magma of your passion flow back into my soul
so that I can once again be the whole
_______________
You were right and I was wrong, without you I ain't strong
Am tired of waiting for a tomorrow, that's free of you and free of sorrow
Tired of holding my breath, it ****** feels like the sigh of death
And my mind wandering, why won't you come and save me?
come and save me, save me love..
_______________
I have run, from wine to ***, to every end of this cold earth I could roam
your silence is deafening loud, hitting my ears harder than echos of a drum
hanging on perilously like a derailed speeding Tram...
for am out of ways of lulling my mind from chaos back to calm
My life's a dark night without a single star, my soul a million a scar
you were not my world, I was wrong about that too
you are my galaxy and there's no existence without you
I'd surrender all this to just one more time hold your hand,
a thousand years to see your footprints next to mine on the sand
for a minute with you, I'd give away forever, be it for a second or less
after all momentary completeness I guess is better than a lifetime mess
you should see me now, shredded like a sensitive document no longer needed
maybe you succeeded
________________
Y­ou were right and I was wrong, without you I ain't strong
Am tired of waiting for a tomorrow, that's free of you and free of sorrow
Tired of holding my breath, it ****** feels like the sigh of death
And my mind wandering, why won't you come and save me?
come and save me, save me love..

As for me, life has also taught me the lesson that not all who say goodbye want you to go,not all who push you away want you to leave, not all who run tantrums and throw it on you are angry at you and not all that ignore you do not notice the effort you put in, no... Sometimes the beautiful goodbyes are just skins covering cold hearts, sometimes "just go" is camouflage for a soul desperate for you to stay, someone will shove you so hard away, just to see how much fight you'll put up to stay and those who are angry at you are at times simply angry at themselves for setting so high a bar as you keep scoring below the bar, they notice your efforts but they want and know you can do more than you are doing... All this is because we live in a crazy world where people say I miss you but seldom mean it, I love you but seldom feel it, I have faith in you but seldom believe it, I promise you but seldom fulfil it and the only test for truth is sometimes putting up a wall and seeing how many will fight to get through after all if someone can't fight for, they ain't worth loving or trusting for All's fair in Love and war, so says Shakespeare... If they won't fight for you, they should at least fight with you and if they can't fight with you, maybe it's best you stand alone against all odds than count on people who won't face up "for worse" and are only here for the better, so always understand, some of us will push you away, ignore and explode on you just to see if you really care enough to read between the lines for only those that can understand our ironies and hear our silence loud and clear are worth our time for most of us have invisible wounds and scars, and only eyes that see what's not there can tend to those...

I would **** for you
even if it meant killing me
I'd burn in flames if
you promised to treasure my ashes
I'd walk into a coffin if
it meant you'd kiss my grave
I would return to the soils
to be part of the ground on which
your tender feet gracefully glide
I'd take bullet for you
if you promised to always
keep me alive on your mind
*Because I am as good as dead without you.

We met we smiled, we fell don't know if you remember... I remember the clouds were at war with the sun trying to stop him from burning like hell as you understand the scotch in December, but it wasn't that haze that made my heart burn for as soon as the ice in my soul was melted and the river of my passion started running again, I knew you were the bulb to be set at the front of my train and the warm orb with the Vitamin D for my sceptic wounds to turn into scar since my nomadic childhood had bruised me hard and torn me off the mass of attachment into a frigid island of desolation... As soon as I saw your teary eye twinkle like a star in the sky I knew I was on the right avenue even if I knew not my destination. In fact, I didn't need to know because you were someone I'd walk with as long as I lived and never want to rest. A wave that I'd surf to the dangerous crest even if I was a hydrophobic...a wave that swept me off my feet and totally changed my heartbeat...You found me confused and taught me which thread of emotion meant what. You found me too young and naive and taught me every little thing I know... Don't know if you remember but I remember the day we first hugged and you trembled in my arms, the peck in your neck... the evening walks to the golf course and our first kiss, it wasn't your first, but it was mine and it felt like your first or at least that's what you kept saying in two years. Those were the happiest and shortest years of my life for it was like I had everything I ever wanted... we always kept our promises, when I said I would call, I would… Gosh! It was great being yours and I'd do whatever to rewind even when I already know the ugly ending to the beautiful story...You taught me so much, right from who I didn't know I was to what I didn't know I needed, like novels and literature and you to understanding what it took to be a man... There was only one thing you didn't teach me, moving on once it was over... But am getting there, I know I keep saying that and you're tired of hearing it, I just hope someday I can look back and smile like you do otherwise I shall never forget those beautiful moments for as long as I shall live, so many unforgettable things you taught me, even the painful.... How can I ever thank you for the lessons that I learnt?

Let them say alarmed by my soul's quiescent invisible riot
you heard my despondent deafening silent shout
and rather than cast aspersions upon my scraggy idiosyncrasy
without doubt you lent me wings of optimism to float
for yours were arms that took me in when the world kicked me out
Let them say you walked with me till the end of the road
perspiring, dusty, fatigued yet still endured the load
let them say you tottered with me past my dusk to dawn
they didn't have to ask whether you were truly my own
for you searched piece by piece until you found all my heart
stitched them together to hold my world from drifting apart
that you saw me through to ocean from spring and river
and I moved on from my rough past because you were my lever
Let them say you saw me to Tuxedo from tattered pants
and even when waves of coercing constrains hit you still gave us a chance
that you weaved an intricate basket of forever out of every now
and as such we crossed even the most shaky of bridges we never knew how
Ultimately, let them say you were my best story, one never ceased writing...

Love of truth
                      is
                        the Truth of Love

When I lost her I thought
I had totally lost my radar
now I realize losing her
only made me stronger
Losing her gave me an opportunity
to strive and find a better version of me
to look in the mirror and find the flaws
upon which I drew beautiful lessons...
Losing her taught me how to build walls
when I notice am about to let wolves
into the sanctuary of my Heart
to have my world broken apart
and made me an astute judge at times
to endure the bitter cold of loneliness
than mess about kissing toads
Losing her created a great hole
of incompleteness in the center of
my Heart, and also made one thing clear
the One who would succeed in filling up
that gaping canyon would be worth
the better version I found while
trudging the boulevard of broken dreams
and surviving the waves and storms...
I thought I was totally lost when I lost her
but now I realize, I simply lost her to find me...

Some people wait until there are no more phone calls
or texts buzzing in through the day and night
until there are no ears to listen and arms to embrace
until there are no more whispers and lips to kiss
to appreciate a presence of love in their life
some folks wait until there's no more breakfast on bed
or the golden smile like the orange orb
of the dawn in their wake to light up their day...
to appreciate the effort invested even in just wearing a smile...
Some people wait until they walk along
the beach then look back and see only two footprints
where there once flourished two pairs,
to know that all animals need four legs
even **** sapiens, and that’s why they were trusted with two more
Some folks wait until the rains come with a ravenous miasma to reminisce
that they once had more than a coat to keep away the biting chills
some people wait until their soul is midst winter
to acknowledge the warmth that darlings do bring
Some fellows wait until there's a thwarting loud silence
where the rhythm of another heartbeat
and nagging little arguments once occupied,
until music is just a miserable reminder of the beautiful yesterday
to realize that they didn't dance enough when they
had the opportunity to do so... Some people wait until
the antagonist has skipped to another story to
know that every hero needs their antagonist
and sometimes the antagonists are so simply because they are misunderstood...
Some people wait until fresh air rather than an aroma
of a carefully prepared recipe welcomes them home to
see that a House isn't Home, love is the home
as home is laughter at the dinner table
and there isn't a better meal than a big loaf of humor
shared between two cautiously weaved intricate souls made for each other,
folks wait until they are driving emptiness
a neglected anthropoid once tried to fill with
the air of romantic praise and or criticism of the skills on wheels
to realize that the escapade isn't the drive, but voyaging with our world
for most of the journeys we make are more about self-discovery
than they are about cosmic exploration…
Do not wait until it’s too late to appreciate the value
Your loved ones add to your life… Always appreciate love
When it’s given and in the same way, give love when it’s needed…

I told you not to pardon me
cause I couldn't let you count on me
but you put every bet on me against all odds...
I told you to hide your soul
instead you gave me heart mind and all
I told you I was a thorny road
you walked it bare footed
wincing at every *****
believing that right ahead things would change...
I told you I was a broken Eagle
but you believed you could fix my wings
I was a volcano waiting to erupt
you wasn't afraid of the larva, thought you could adapt
I told you I was splinters
and you started picking up the pieces
I told you I was hell
and you said you wanted to dance with my demons
When I revealed that I knew not how to dance
you said life's a lesson and you would be my teacher
"What if the song of our affection ends?"
I questioned with the belief that love's just a word
but you assured me that we would keep dancing
even after the song's gone silent...
because that's what real love's do
or at least we would dance until you found all the shards.
I told you I was a labyrinthine jungle
and you right away took adventures in my wild
even when I told you I was a wrecked ship lost at sea
you said that'd you'd find me free from the ecstasy
of this perilous world...
I told you I was a desert ...
but you were okay with sand and sweat
even thirst didn't scare you away
I told you I was a thunder-storm waiting to rain
malady and you said you've known such kind of pain,
you've withered storms that left you Ocean wet
so it wouldn't hurt playing in the rain again...
I said I was a wilting rose
and right away you started watering my hopes
with tender sprinkles of care
and weeding out despair
with endless promises to always be there...
I told you I was frozen inside and incapable of loving
and you said you'd place me in your warm embrace
and bare the icy chill for eternity
if that's what it took to melt the snow...
I told you I was all wounds and painful scars
you responded with "I know..."
and you said even Angels are not perfect...
I told you I had nothing but me to give
and you told me I was everything you always wanted
I tried not to believe
but I was enchanted...
I said I loved you not because you said it too
or because I ran out of excuses
but because it was true...
and because I was tired of pushing away
those gifting me a second chance...

Day after day
I was learning
that the yearning
and pain would never go away
That I was a bent rod
a traveler so long
lost along a road
so wrong...
I was seeing clearer
the shattered lad in my mirror
manacled in horror
of echos of the past
reverberating through the threads
of time,
a man cursed
to forever shiver in cold of desolation
and to always seek consolation
in the glamour of rhyme
yet never mind
that he'd never find...
Day after day
I was learning
that the clouds of strife
in my life
would always be the blanket
that stops my Sun from shining
and that my trumpet
was bound to rust
as no one would bear
their lips on dust...
none would love me enough to dare.
as I were a flower in the wild
growing on shitload piled...
a heart punched and filed
a destiny's child
a million pieces compiled
on a future defiled.
I was a forgotten dream
a dried up stream-
cracks instead of Adam's ale
a snail without a shell
corpse pale...
I was my own hell,
strange
they said things would change,
that time would tell...
yet there was nothing left
to be told of my story
though I wasn't one to feel sorry
as I'd been through more ****
than I could spit.

It's so hard for me to forgive lies...
They caused the winter in my soul...

I didn't reach here by watching where am going,
But by remembering where I have been.
The roads I have walked, the tears cried, the quagmire of
despair I trudged, the waves of ravenous immiseration
the million Heartbreaking incidences trampled
the moments many contemned me and my family...
I have reached here by always realizing the hardship wasn't
all for nothing and that every thorny road was preparing
my feet to go the distance, to walk the extra mile…
Far from the end, but the worst part is over, the jinx is broken,
I can now touch my wallet and smile, I can now dial a handset instead
of walking four miles to make Mama a call... I can now appreciate
every drop of water because I've been to the wells of hell
and lifted the fragile *** of my hopeless reality until here.
It isn't a garden of roses, but even roses have thorns and as long as I keep
the memories of the past, as long as I never forget that
I have seen worse, I will always find challenges easier
than they ought to be after all the load of destiny never gets
lighter, the donkey of our faith just grows stronger. Forgive the
past, but never make a mistake of forgetting the **** you've
been through however pungent the stench of reminiscence maybe.
I am who I am now and I will always try to be better and to want more
Because that’s what God made me for, to dream big and go dream chasing…
I’ve ploughed through the waves and it’s made me a better sailor
Who’s always aware that storms happen but they can be overcome.
Ain’t no need watching where I’m going, just need to know where I’ve been.