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iAmNotUramaki Mar 2020
my poems
they weren't enough
to make you stay

it's fine, you'll come back
your feelings will boomerang

maybe not now
but perhaps someday
iAmNotUramaki Oct 2020
knowing the shadows are there
insisting that they are not
love has left me
love has left me lost

make me happy again, im begging
end this sadness before it ends me
imagine, right?
iAmNotUramaki Oct 2020
and i know one day you'll forget about me
i bet you're all already doing it

i'll be a distant memory
a nostalgic song

you'll remember my rights
and whatever went wrong

but be wary o, you familiar stangers
be wary of my ghost

because i may be gone
but i'll haunt you til the day you cease breathing
iAmNotUramaki Sep 2020
i am forever, cursed to never age
the death i have to repeat
is the heartbreak you've given me

you can choose to ignore me
but you know i am there
lingering softly, longing for the beat of my own chest

i am a ghost
plagued to haunt you forever
as much as you haunt me

is this what you wanted?
iAmNotUramaki Sep 2020
an approval or disappointment
to direction or accusation
****** to the public
a vow of borderline forever
at last a promise to never be broken
In the palm of the one who has never spoken
iAmNotUramaki Sep 2020
his pain, a spiral.
coiling and tightening, confusing and suffocating
his pain was a sweet illusion
his pain was for me
but
i cannot bare his pain any longer
iAmNotUramaki Mar 2020
i am but a human
can you love me as i am?

i have these demons, vile and viscious
can you handle them?

if i lay myself down
would you admire the scars and imperfections that my body bares?

if i pour out by heart and unleash my soul
would you cherish it all?

if i was miles away
would my words and my best be enough to make you stay?

will you accompany me
on my crazy antics

will you hold me
in my times of sorrowful blue?

will you stand with me, side by side
as i watch the world turn from each beautiful hue?

will you forgive me for the pain i may cause?
or for the burdens i may accidentally give?

i am only human
viscious yet kind

can you still love me as i am
no matter what may be my state of mind?
iAmNotUramaki Mar 2020
deep as the ocean
soft and warm like mornings

sweet tones like chocolate
wrap me up and pull me in

these tones and octaves
how beautiful, these sounds

im in love with your voice
iAmNotUramaki Mar 2020
My yellow my yellow
So calm and mellow
Like the sunflowers in the meadow

My yellow my yellow
So safe and warm
My haven is my yellow, it keeps me from harm

My yellow my yellow
They took away my yellow
I feel bruised and broken, where is my yellow?

My yellow my yellow
Where is my yellow?
I'll bring back my own yellow soon
iAmNotUramaki Mar 2020
i sip this peppermint tea
and i remember yours lips

warm and minty
making me feel soft and tingly

a feeling i wish would never end
feeling so lovely with the time that we spend

i sip this peppermint tea and i remember you
its gone cold now
iAmNotUramaki Mar 2020
i like pink

soft as a baby
delicate and precious
smiles so warm like the setting sun
a rose in a thorny garden

i like yellow

oh how fun are their quirks
a mix and match of many things
oh the joy yellow brings
a symphony in my ears when they sing

i like blue

like the oceans and the seas
a calm sky and deep tones
calm and mysterious
endless tranquility and ferocity that sets the skin on flames

i like pink yellow and blue
i like all the colors
i like all the hues

i like pink yellow and blue
how about you?
iAmNotUramaki Nov 2020
Ghosts are for disappearing and appearing

Humans are for accompanying

Little did i know the roles are reversed
iAmNotUramaki Sep 2020
i dislike September
because i remember
the scent of coffee and the warmth you gave

i dislike Wednesday
because you asked me to stay
and i was willing

now the leaves are falling
and its getting cold
i'll get what you stole back

i may hate september because i remember
and hate wednesday because i chose to stay
but this time around you wont have it your way
iAmNotUramaki Oct 2020
i take deep breaths and pick at my skin

to remind the demons that they wont win

i rather keep quiet and cry

than lie about not wanting to die

i pick at my skin rather than shout

as the evil red comes out

can someone find me and give me bandages?
iAmNotUramaki Oct 2020
you told me you didn't like snakes
so why the hell did i find out


you went looking for them in afternoons
while i had my back turned?
iAmNotUramaki Mar 2020
im free
im free from your chains and demands

but why do i feel hallow
what did you do to me?

everyone is a blur
and my mind works mechanically like clockwork

i end up reading our messages
i end up conjuring your scent

my mind draws places we've been on sketchpads
and my eyes look for the shade of your eyes

i wake up to the illusion of your arms around mine
and my lips tickle from lips that aren't there anymore

my mind is racing because there's no one to talk to
there's no one as interesting as you

what have you done to me?
why do i want to be your victim again?
iAmNotUramaki Mar 2020
can we talk?
no, you're busy

you need a favor?
course, i'll be there in a jiffy

pushing and pulling me
like you're waves dragging me everywhere

i love you
but i can't keep up with you doing me like this

can we talk?
can we?
iAmNotUramaki Mar 2020
inhale the deadly dark purple fumes
that make my head spin

lure with those chocolate eyes
the very ones i love looking in

plant a kiss on my lips
the very ones that make that sly grin

you make me plunge into your twisted sludge
your deadly concotions cause me to sin

im dancing with the devil
but i love the moves too much to cease

i am dazed by your deadly loveliness
this is making me sick

i should stop
but i dont

give me your toxic
the sweet spell you have me under
iAmNotUramaki Mar 2020
my insides are rotting
my teeth have fallen out
my head is balding
im ugly, no one would love me

yet theres always that one person
who thinks your beautiful
despite being so flawed
be that person to someone

and both of you might find love
Beauty love find rot ugly flaws
"Beautiful" he whispered so softly

With a look so soft yet so hungry

And with touches warm as the sun

She suddenly felt free
they looked in my eyes and told me i was beautiful in my lowest hour
iAmNotUramaki Dec 2020
My sunset begins as yours comes up
I sip my wine slowly, knowing you’re downing your whiskey at 6 in the morning
The tub of ice cream from last night has melted away
So why can’t you?

This city of lights blinds me, a nice distraction
But I have to run, I have to keep running
Because my demons have your beautiful smile
And I can’t help but stare with melancholy in my heart

My sleepless nights are invaded by your chocolate eyes and velvet lips
If I’m honest, that button on my phone taunts me
It begs me to call, send a text
But I don’t

I don’t and I won’t
You had let go first and danced our dance with your little noelle
O how jolly you must’ve been, staring into her starry eyes
So even if I miss you, I won’t

So I sip my wine slowly as you down your whiskey at 6 in the morning
These devils smile your smile and I look away
I move forward, melancholy and anger and hopefulness without you fuelling me
I hope you miss me as much as I do. But sometimes I don’t
iAmNotUramaki Mar 2020
There are so many things I wish for
Its a very long list

I wish I had more time
But time is not anyone's friend

I wish I was taller
But I always fall short

I wish I had more
But I always lack

I wish for a smile on my face
But all thats there are tears

I wish I didn't have to leave
But you know it was for the better

I wish I could reach out to you
But will you take my hand?

I wish I could be there
But I am oceans away

I wish, I wish
I can only wish

I wish you the happiest of happiness
The kind where you don't have to tear me apart

— The End —