I toss
Around in bed
Can’t
Sleep
Wish I
Could
Then suddenly
Nightmares
Monsters
Death
Waking up in a
Cold Sweat
Dark room
Can’t perceive the
Gloom
Wants to
Go to the bathroom
But
What about
the hand
About to grab me if I do?

there are times when I wonder if I’m really an actual person

separate from the amorphous mass of **** sapiens

every single cell in my body has been replaced already

so nothing is truly the same


and deep down all we want is survival

and I fear nonexistence more than death itself

Sometimes I promise people I will do something.
     And I promise myself I will do what I promised them I would do,
             And I promise myself I won’t forget the promises I made to
             myself and them,
                   So I break three promises in one go.

I am strong
I'll show you
       the one who never thought i could do it
That I Can
And I'm not afraid to
Even though you
       the one who never thought i could

Are
Wrong

She is so far away from me
Just you try and stop me
We would be like shooting stars in the sky
Old friend, why are you so shy?

I could never express my full love for you
And I never drew one response from you
In my dreems i see you
Never mind, I'll find someone like you

One day we will be together
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
I think of you 23 hours a day
But you still hide away
My baby

here are some lyrics about unrequited love

verse one
All the time my baby
Eye to eye we need no words at all
I love your golden lovely locks
Soon we two are standing still in time

chorus
I'm never good enough for your fantasic soul
I'm crazy for you
If we were together I would bring you to the parking lot every day for a joyful time
I see you through the smokey air

verse two
It would be masterful
The anger of angels who won't return
I'm afraid of loving you
I wish nothing but the best for you too

chorus*
I'm never good enough for your fantasic soul
I'm crazy for you
If we were together I would bring you to the parking lot every day for a joyful time
I see you through the smokey air

verse one
I ride alone on the bus
You're not just a memory
No one comes with me because I am alone
Give me a tin roof

chorus
I feel lonely and miss the many places I went to
This used to be the place I ran to
I swam in the clear blue ocean, its waves overtaking my weak senses
Over red wine on the eve of summer

verse two
It is windy
God shed his grace on thee
Kids are oh so stupid these days
When it grows wild

chorus*
I feel lonely and miss the many places I went to
This used to be the place I ran to
I swam in the clear blue ocean, its waves overtaking my weak senses
Over red wine on the eve of summer

these are some song lyrics i wrote about country roads
they mean a lot to me :)*

Drink beer and drive my truck
I'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blue
I love the beer factories
And then someday you'd leave me for somebody new

I think about trucks at night
For the love that's beating there
Skrt skrt
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you

Small town roads, thriving with love
And then someday you'd leave me for somebody new
I drink beer
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you

I think about trucks at night
For the love that's beating there
Skrt skrt
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you

It floods my mind like a dark cloud
Or like a non-native fig tree
The Strangler Fig
Strangling the life out of anything it comes across

I can't control these thoughts
They control me

When I first saw you
My mind was flooded with thoughts and images of
Scandalous Deeds

Then when I second saw you
My eyes were flooded with real images of
Scandalous Deeds

I never thought these
Scandalous Deeds
Would be come a reality
But now they are
And these
Scandalous Deeds
Are my true life
And with you
I feel loved
All because of these
Scandalous Deeds

i love you baby
when you are near me my soul doubles
just like 4*2=8

without you a huge part of my life would be subratred
like when 8-5=2

when we are divided i feel so sad
like when a million/100=100

and when you add our love into the mix
i become infinite
just like 1+ infinity = infinity +1

      love          love   love
   love       love             love
love                            love
   love                      love
         love            love
              love    love
                    love    

love
           *and light
                               emanating from your beautiful face
                                                     you shock me with your beauty
                          every moment i spend with you
          brings me joy and happiness

your features are like gleaming stones, polished with oil
          shining with the light gleaming out from you
                          just like your beauty shoots out in rays like the
                           shining sun
      oh darling, i'll never stop loving you.

*i can think of no better way to describe my love for you babe

sticky sweet molasses flowing down your smooth sensual body
but before i know it
it morphs into blood, the rick dark color turning to a thin red

and before i know it
you are gone

ten years later
i visit your grave
i place flowers on the headstone
i remember you
but do you remember me?

here i stand
but you are not beside me.

babe, what will i do without you
when the world dies
i will be alone again but i can never forget you
lov
you’re laugh is like a princess laughing
and when you cry my heart brakes.

but now my heart is empty
because i have lost you.
forever.

wanted to write a darker peom. please give me some feedback*

I see you dessicated
Falling dying
You become one with the earth, your body sinking into
Like the titanic into sea

I fall with you
We fall as one
United forever
Even at the end
For eternity

You said you'd never hurt me
But was that all a lie?
Now whenever I think of you
I can't help but cry

I thought I would never lose you
Now I see that that was fake
Now whenever I think of you
I simply start to bake

Rivulets of blood running down my face
Pooling in my hand
My dreams float into the sky
But in the dirt they land

yellow hair, falling and bouncing like ocean waves
orange lips, meticulously painted to be genuinely gorgeous
untouched beauty: you are all mine

and i know that this will never end
returning and coming back forever
ending is not an option

my love, you're the strongest. the bravest.
years of resistance have built you up to be towering over others

even when faced with disagreement, you easily overpower others
viewing you fight is the greatest pleasure
even when faced with turmoil, you stay strong
riding on everything is your beautiful soul
your beautiful soul brings me joy, even in the darkest times
thinking about you brings me the most happiness my love
happiness is real and true, palpable, when i see you
ice becomes my heart whenever you leave
not to lie, when you return, my heart thaws like a defrosted food
green broccoli or red cherries thawing

babe, you're the best and the bravest
at all of my events, you always impress everyone with your singing
bravery is needed to do that
you possess that courage within you

apples and pears could never measure up to you
nothing could ever measure up
dinosaurs could maybe but they are dead

i will never stop loving you

whispers mask your hidden feelings
illicit activities like late night reconnaisances
licking
licking

needing more from you
everything you provide is enough
viewing your beauty
everything you provide is everything i will ever need
reading each others lips like tongues

spicy activities
trucking across the 405 highway
of course i touch your skin
please tell me it is so soft and supple

love for you is tangible
oranges are more sour than my love for you
viewing your body
it is so graceful
needing you to tell me you love me back
gracefully you do

your love is so strong
oranges could never be as strong as my love for you
universe is beautiful. we are all stardust

a little acrostic peom
*hope you all like :)

authors note
Hey Everyone! This is a little peom I made with one line from each of my peoms fused together. It's a little strange but I wanted to represent all of my work. I hope you like it!!! Crandall*





I feel safe with your power
You chomped me and swallowed me whole
you're pitch dark eyelashes, like pitch dark strings
your kindness, happiness, gorgeousity

corporations are evil
crandall's art was super great
our wurld is a mess

you whispered it in my ear as soft as a pillow that i have just fluffled by beating it
i hear your screeches as you sing along to katy perry's "swish swish"
towers of grape, rolling bouncing
my fingers would slide down it like a sheet of paper on a river of melted butter

paper-thin beetle wings,
fear
i love the little *****

eggs remind me of you
the next day i saw you your eye was the size of a glob of clove powder
Or an ant on a log
peoms

That was your licky number,
Don't be ashamed of your hobnobs.

I pear down and see its little legs trembing, shaking in death
the repriduction of the universe
howdy doo
darknes.
my princess, my darling, my murderer

the ocean, salty like my tears
My thoughts were running wild like snip snip
i  g u e s s  t h i s  i s  j u s t  a  c r u e l  w o r l d

i smell you
take the nuts
Your kneecaps

You had the path to my heart
You felt it aching
Breaking

You stuck out your hand
You took my heart in your hand
Beating
Completing
Defeating

You were gentle
Fragmental
Judgemental

But I feel safe within you
I feel safe with you having my heart
I feel safe with your power
Devour
Louder

Now you have two hearts
And I have none
But that's ok because now we are one
And all is done

Your lips were blood red
Dripping with fervor
Your teeth were shining white
Like pearls or snow
Your tongue was a snake tongue
Forked and ready to last out with hurtful words

So entrancing
You ate me up with this mouth
You chomped me and swallowed me whole
You never said sorry

sometimes i gayze out the window
watching the rain fall down
and then i realize i am thinking of yuo

i miss you so much darling
you're soft midnight black hair
you're pitch dark eyelashes, like pitch dark strings
you're blue eyes, like the sky

the sky reminds me of stars
and then i realize
we are star crosed lovers

when stars cros they become equals
and that is what we are my baby child of the universe
yuo give my life meaning
we are never to be seperated

even if everyone tryes to seperate us
they can not
because we are forever
like the stars in the sky

come be with me and watch the rain
i love you for eternety

light radiates out of your heart
like a fairy tale gemstone buried deep within hard granite
your kindness, happiness, gorgeousity

your genuine soul is so kind
your love is so true and right
you know just how to make me feel accepted

love is not my territory, but whenever i see your face...
i feel a deep yearning to be
and to love
you make me love and you are
loved

slaving away
for hours on end
flipping burgers
and sighing inside, knowing that your life is emptie

how are we going to fix this problem?
corporations are evil
but what should we do?

we the peepole must stand united
liberty and justice for all
we must fight
and that is why we need you

there once was man named crandall
he grew up and caused quite a scandal
he had a fight with his girlfriend
she left him for another man
so he became a vandal

crandall's art was super great
he wrote everywhere, even on crates
then the police came searching
his self-esteem went lurching
how many years did he go to jail? eight.

i spell some things wroong
as soshul commentary
our wurld is a mess

the last time i saw you
the last time i heard your voice
was midnight - news years eve
i looked into your eyes, as deep as beautiful puddles
you said to me "be safe my love, my king, my sweetie pie"
you whispered it in my ear as soft as a pillow that i have just fluffled
by beating it
punching it
hurting it
and that is what you did to my heart
oh baby, oh darling, oh sweetpea, you have slaughtered me
never to see you again
because i am dead and in a grave
and it is all your fault

you run home to me, peeling off your sweaty socks
you toss them in the laundry
is there any moment more beautiful than this?
i think not.

i see the crumbs you leave in the floor from your tasty bagel
crunch crunch
im so happy you have found a food you enjoy
is there any moment more lovely than this?
i think not.

i hear your screeches as you sing along to katy perry's "swish swish"
finally we agree on a song we like
because you like pop
and i like songs about fighting
i'm so happy i could spend this moment with you
is there any moment more fun than this?
i think not.

i taste your sprouts you have prepared for me
fresh picked from the garden
i used to not like sprouts but once you gave them to me they were delicous
is there any moment more precious than this?
i think not.

i feel your bones lurking underneath your skin
to think everyone has a skeleton
is disturbing and disgusting
but your skeleton fills me with love and light
to know there is a part of you that will never disappear
is there any moment more astounding than this?
i think not.

i smell your odor and pheromones after your run
to me, they smell like pheromones
a truly beautiful aroma and fragrance
is there any moment more crooshal than this?

i think not.

steamy scent of sugary sweet syrup
wafting aroma of waiting wafflies
a mountain of fruit
towers of grape, rolling bouncing

why is that peepole do not want breakfast
the most important meal of the day
energy for the day (and the night)

Little Monkey, why do you not see that you need this energy
to keep up with me and my fast pased life
i know that it can be hard, my Darling o’ Mine
but just try and we will happie

i remember you
your toned muscles
and your smooth chin
my fingers would slide down it like a sheet of paper on a river of melted butter

i remember when you left
it felt like my heart was breaking
splitting in two like a fault line
an earthquake overtook me
take cover.

i remember when you called me again
you sounded happy
like you had found something better
a better life without me

i remember when i hung up on you
i needed - and need - something more
something that only self-love can bring me
i don't need you
but i know what i do need
caring

paper-thin beetle wings,
flying one moment,
the next smashed on today’s newspaper,
evoking a strange sense of satisfaction

consciousness
fear
pious
eliminated from an entire society

the professor (sly swine)
can’t trust anyone but himself
obscure texts made no sense to me

lazy 0s and 9s - so many distractions
people ought to be happy (missing context)

once i had a dream
of the wide blue sea
sialing so far, water splashing me

i love the little *****
they remind me of fancey restaurants

when i was growing up
i dreampt of fishing, fisheries
sciences and mainagement.

then i got lost in the big cities that
were land loocked, and i missed the ocean
where i felt so at hom

kelp swayeing in the waves
and poiporsoies jumping from the salty

so then i ran away
from the sad montony of city life
to get lost out at sea
in my hapy place.

last night i dreamed of you
over the moon with happiness
viewing your beautiful hair
egregiously falling in curls

i love you so much baby
so much more than you could ever imagine

love is life
i know this for a fact
finding love in the strangest places
eggs remind me of you

I still remember the first day I met You
your tanned skin
with more melanin as a response to the destruction of your DNA by UV radiation

it was very sensual

the first day i met you
you were wearing sky high heels
6 inch stilettos
causing ingrown toenails and tendonitis and weakening the fat pad on the bottom of your foot

you looked gorgeois

the first day i met you
you were wearing beautiful black eyeliner
you bought it for a dollar at the 99 cents store and it contained harmful ingredients
the next day i saw you your eye was the size of a glob of clove powder
it was shocking

but all this is why were are in Love
never will i forget you baby

oxygen
molecules
h20
o2
co2
its overwhelming sometimes
how things can combine
to make new things

chemistry
biology
aquatic biology
its overwhelming sometimes
how when you think about new things, you have questions
and those questions turn into answers
that only leave you with more questions

books
magazines
newspapers
peoms
its overwhelming sometimes
that the written word, a beautiful method of self-expression
has been corrupted
by Them

The ones that manipulate
that scorch
that ravage the land

we must stand up
we must fight
and only then
can we be free
can we be underwhelmed
we will be strong
with everyone fighting
forming a human wall

we will be stronk.

You're favorite color was red,
like love
and blood.

I think about this as I gaze at the roses outside my window
they are so beautyful, yet so strong.

There are seventeen roses on the rosebuish.
That was your licky number,
you told me.

Well, I felt so lucky with you.
But now I see that I must have walked under a scarlet ladder
because I have lost you

or maybe a black cat crossed my path
or seventeen red cats.

I don't know what happened. All I know
is that I miss you,
and you're two red lips.

shake shake shake

spritz spritz

a mosquito falls to the floor
I pear down and see its little legs trembing, shaking in death
they twitch in a frenzy
i am sad of what i have done but i know that it is better than being bitten
so above all their is beautie
in death
but do not get used to the daeth
or else you will enjoy kiling so be safe with your use of kemikals such as spritz

whin i look at you,
all i can see are your two plump lips

like rosebuds.
they are red like blood but
taste like honey.

everything that exists is just
stardust
the repriduction of the universe

as it expands. but it is still
not wide enough
to fit all my love for you,
my sugar sweet.

i cannot breath when i look into your eyes
glowing like two priceless saphhires

your beauty is sufoccating
but i will glady die for you,
darling.

in my youth
we'd gather round the campfire
and sing howdy doo
howdy doo
come here with me and you

now i remember those days
and i look back on them
and i reminisce
and i feel something
i think it is sadness
but maybe it is happyness for i remember the days of love
and happyness with my family
true love can never be found
until you sing howdy doo
howdy doo
howdy doo
come here with me and you

i gaze into this abyss
she is dark and wide,

her wide black eyes stare back at me
with sadness and longing.

i try to kiss her but when
i lean forward
i find myself falling, falling,
falling.

farther into this cold oblivion,
as the void whispers to me
"she will never love you"

and i say,
"i will always love her",

but this time the abyss does not respond
because she has eaten me whole

and all there is is

darknes.

she had golden hair
like a bale of hay
but more silky and tempatious

she made me dizzy
gave me a hangover every day
when she left me

she laughed like a wild cat
one that no one could tame
because she was not lame,

she was
wild

and unstoppable like a vampire
or maybe a zombie,
with her sad eyes and ciggarete who's smoke burned a hole
through my heart

i can never stop loving her
my princess, my darling, my murderer

she hurts me still
but i will dream of her till
i have fallen ill.

they say there are so many fish
in the sea
but where is the one for me?

the ocean, salty like my tears
because she swam away from me

and left me at the bottom,
in the dark and cold

they say i must be bold
but how can i, without my love

there may be many fish,
but she
is a dolphin

I grew up on a farm
Happy smiling childhoods
Running to & fro with the cows
My very best friends
Little did I know
This would soon end

I moved to the city
While singing a ditty
I was pretty sad
But I knew that here, fun was to be had

I bought an apartment
But I reminisce about the farm still
Oh boy do I miss it
Enough to ****

I still dream about the farm
So one day I took a visit trip
I saw the cows again
My thoughts were running wild like snip snip

Oh boy the farm is fun
Just like the rays of a sun
I recommend you try it
Before you forget to try it

e v e r y o n e  a l w a y s  s a y s  " l i v e  l a u g h  l o v e "

b u t  w h y  d o e s  n o  o n e  e v e r  s a y

" d i e  c r y  h a t e "

i  g u e s s  t h i s  i s  j u s t  a  c r u e l  w o r l d

head
a gentle pillow of warmth

eyes
they see all

nose
i smell you

mustache
bristly

mouth
licking is fun

neck
supports all. when you are alone, remember the neck
also your breath goes through it

shoulders
supports all too

chest
houses your heart. thump thump

arms
movement is essential to life

stomach
gurgle gurgle i keep you alive

hips
sensual

thighs
muscley

kneecaps
battering rams

shins
easily hurt. vulnerable. i try to keep myself guarded but deep down i know i will open up to the next one, and the next, and the next......

ankles
they twist and turn, without fear of being judged

feet
given a bad rap

explode the greenness within the container of life
mortar and pestle. occipital lobe. throbbing. crasha banga booma the scent of garlic
infusing the innocent air
basil, burning. keep going keep going keep going
wear goggles to avoid the pain of the onions
cut chop slice creal
mortar. pestle. mortal & pestle.
slice
pulverize smash
o the pain
take the basil and mix it


take the nuts


mash em all up

then, mix it all together
diversity
melting ***
jellybeans? no
genoa
pesto pesticide pesto
pesto.

Your eyes
their smiles and shine
like deep blue pools of salty water
or sapphires full of money and riches

I always thought we would be together
but sitting here
It looks like I was wrong

Your touch is a mountain
Dear babe, please come back
What did I do wrong?
Please tell me

Your tongue
Like a prime cut of meat
Your kneecaps
Like battering rams for my brain
You drove me crazy

And now that you're gone
I'm even crazier

Its 2am and I can't stop thinking about your soft lippies
Like flower petals
They are pink and soft
Not cracked

Your kiss is a drug and baby, i am an addict

I guess this is goodbye